Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

RECTOR BACKS POLISH MISSION

False start

to elections I C U H O N O R A R Y S E C R E T A R Y M a r c o L e d w o l d hat made his first

mistake' in the sabhal ioal election run-up .

As announced in F E L I X a n d inc luded on this term's calendar ,

papers for tin- s a b b a t i c a l posts of Pres ident . Deputy Pres ident ,

H o n o r . i n Secretary and F E L I X E d i t o r , were or ig inal ly intended to go

up yesterday.

However , M r L c d w o l d discovered on Thursday m o r n i n g that,

accord ing to die bye-laws, he was not required lo put papers up unt i l

15 Col lege days belore the elections. Hence papers wi l l be put up on

M o n d a y . February 15. instead.

H e explained his mistake by saving that the F E L I X E d i t o r had

pestered h im lor dales at the beginning of this term lor the F E L I X

Calendar and that he had mistakenly rushed. Instead of count ing 15

days before the elections, lie counted from the Hustings U G M .

Elections for the lour sabbatical positions w i l l be by campus wide

ballot in a l l departments on M o n d a y . M a r c h 8 and Tuesday, March 9.

The Rector, Lord Flowers, has agreed to give College backmfi

to a charitable venture to send food and medical supplies to

Poland.

A group cal led Supplies to P o l a n d ( S T P ) was formed at I C follow ing

M r C o l i n Cooper ' s letter in F E L I X G03 appea l ing for help. The S i !

group has been meeting regularly over the past two weeks and wilt

have a large meeting today at 12:45pm in the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l .

Their intention is to collect v i ta l supplies for P o l a n d and transport

them v ia sea a n d road over the Easter vacat ion . The group has already

ga ined support f rom organisat ions i n the B r i t i s h Isles a n d arc

part i cu lar ly pleased that the Col lege is a l l o w i n g them facilities lor a

temporary base.

The Rector stressed that the Col lege gave its support only if it was

clear that this wou ld be a totally char i table and non-po l i t i ca l venltire.

H e stressed that the group wou ld have lo "keep their noses clean

the Col lege eotild obviously not support a p o l i l i c i a l stance.

Three routes to Po land have been considered a n d are ciirieiilc

being rusted. A n announcement w i l l be made about the v iab i l i ty of the

project on February 20.

O n e of the m o v i n g forces beh ind S 'TP, M r Nicho las G a r d n i

graduated from C h e m i c a l Eng ineer ing in 1900) made an appeal

further help. The group need more people to act as both crew

support. Secretaries wou ld be helpful d u r i n g the preparations a n

was felt that any small a m o u n l of assistance would be welcome

Mr Passmore Mr Foreshau

Irish stew in the name of the law

Former ICU President Mr

John Passmore and C&GU

Vice President Mr David

Foreshow appeared at Mary-

^ilebone Magistrates Court on

Tuesday charged with caus­

ing criminal damage.

It was alleged that on M o n d a y

J a n u a r y 18 at l 2 : 0 G p m , M r

Passmore and M r Foreshavv had

wi l ful ly torn an U n d e r g r o u n d

m a p f r o m t h e w a l l o n t h e

plat form of Baker St. L o n d o n

'Transport Stat ion.

B o t h p l e a d e d g u i l t y . M r

Passmore commented that he d i d

not think that this was typica l

behaviour and later confided that

he and M r Foreshaw had poss­

ibly had "one or two over the

odds" in a reference to their slate

of inebr iat ion .

M a g i s t r a t e S i r I v o r R i g b y

presiding, l ined both defendants

£\0 and ordered them to pay £5

costs.

"No. 6 0 5 Friday February 12,1982 Free!

Sir

Your c.onimeiiis about me

in last week's F E L I X editorial

must set some sort of record

low for this newspaper; in

terms not only of accuracy,

responsibility, and fairness,

but also the abuse o f the

supposedly unbiased position

the editor of a students (or

any other) newspaper should

occupy,

'The assertion that 1 am to

stand as a candidate for I C U

President is clearly in error, as

your vaunted " n e w s " report­

ers w o u l d have d i s c o v e r e d

h a d they e x p l o r e d f u r t h e r

afield from the F E L I X Office

than the U n i o n Bar or the

B o t / Z o o C o m m o n R o o m ,

had they found time off front

watching free f i lm previews in

the West E n d , or from wr i t ing

fatuous swimming articles. In

fact, a tr ip only as far as the

Gui lds U n i o n Oft ice to consult

with Sue Hart ley or F r a n k

Rowsc l l would have conf irm­

ed that I have no intention of

cont esting the job of I C U Pres­

ident. Surely too, i f you had

bothered to personally arrive

on time at I C 1J U G M s , or

a t t e n d I C U C o u n c i l , y o u

would have observed that I

h a v e p r o p o s e d o n l y one

motion at C o u n c i l (censuring

Barney) and have not spoken

to a motion at a U G M , nor

indeed have I been a part i ­

c u l a r l y f r e q u e n t c o r r e s ­

p o n d e n t i n these c o l u m n s .

S o m e b o d y f r a n t i c a l l y e lec ­

tioneering would , I believe,

have been more zealous i n

publ ic is ing his name, face and

opinions than I have this year.

Y o u continued your tirade

wi th an analysis of my pol i t i ­

ca l opinions, describing me as

a wet T o r y , about the only

remotely accurate part of the

editor ia l . 1 do not. however,

b e l i e v e t h a t a p o l i t i c a l l y

moderate stance, like the one

I r e c e n t l y t o o k at I ' l l '

attacking the P C L "riot in the

streets" brand of occupation

(something of general student

interest you failed to report at

any time dur ing the weeks the

occupation lasted) necessarily

implies that as I C l " President

I would have been a doormat

for the Rector to walk al l

over. 1 part ieularh resent the

u n s u b s t a n t i a t e d a l l e g a t i o n

t h a t I w o u l d u n d e r any

circumstances sell I C students

down the river, and I would

be pleased if you would cite

e x a m p l e s o f my s u p p o s e d

insincerity.

T h e p o i n t a b o u t y o u r

failure to report the P C L riots

I mentioned above may also

have some bearing on your

production of a F E L I X wi lh

two thirds of its front page

devoted to a non-news story.

In a week when K i n g s derided

to stay out of the N U S , when

the papers for student posts on

the University Senate went

up, and when the U L Subject

A r e a R e v i e w C o m m i t t e e s

(very important for the future

of the University as a whole)

reported, I believe your James

Deeny article was an insult to

the intelligence of students at

I C . S a d l y t h o u g h , s u c h

i n s u l a r i t y is t y p i c a l of t he

xenophobic hatred of any­

thing outside this bit of S W 7

which characterises so many

F E L I X Editors. Indeed it is

probably my continued inter­

est in U L U and consideration

o f a p o s s i b l e s a b b a t i c a l

election campaign there, on

issues you p r o b a b l y w o n ' t

have heard of, let alone care

a b o u t or u n d e r s t a n d that

c a u s e d y o u to w r i t e the

editorial you d id .

In c o n c l u s i o n , as E d i t o r

you have a responsibley to

earn your sabbatical salary by

publ ishing a paper containing

news, informed comment and

objective reporting, very little

of which was contained in last

w e e k ' s F E L I X . Y o u a lso

p r e s u m a b l y b e l i e v e y o u r

position gives you a good, in

depth, knowledge of at least

I his s t u d e n t s ' u n i o n : y o u r

f a i l u r e , l i k e t h a t o f y o u r

mentor and immediate pre­

decessor, to print constructive

crit ic ism o l ' l ' n i o n and College

officials' actions, as opposed

to easv " k n o c k i n g copy" gives

the lie to that too.

Chris IIV/;/)

Dear Mr Smith

I wish lo condemn in no

uncertain terms your editorial

regarding M r Chr is Webb . It

is one of the most v i c i o u s

personal attacks that I have

read on anybody in F E L I X in

recent \ ears (and that includes

those made on C a p t L ind ley ) .

M r Webb , who proposed me

a couple of years ago for H o n

Sec. is one of flie most able

politicians in this College and

due to this he has over the

y e a r s h a d s u f f i c i e n t l y a

p l u r a l i s t i c a t t i t u d e to take

part in af fa irs b e y o n d the

walls of this College.

There is nothing wrong in

being a wet tory and as one of

our former Pr ime Ministers

(Edward Heath) has pointed

out there is every possibility of

wet lories and social demo­

crats working together.

I therefore think that you

should publish a full retraction

of your totally unwarranted

attack on M r Webb .

Tours

Frank James

PS: I assume that a l l the

publ ic i ty rules for this coming

election have been torn up

(not only by yourself 1 might

add).

Sir

I am wri t ing to condemn

your attack on Chr is W e b b in

y o u r e d i t o r i a l l as t week .

Attacks on myself are fair as 1

a m e lec ted to a " p u b l i c "

position and should expect

public, crit icism. Y o u r crit ic ­

isms of me this year have been

a little uninspired, but more

of that in later weeks. Attacks

o n my p r e d e c e s s o r , J o h n

Passmore, are irrelevant to a

s i g n i f i c a n t sec t i on of y o u r

r e a d e r s h i p , but a g a i n ex ­

pected as he has held the

senior post in I C U . (Inciden­

tally, John 's apparent laziness

may be attributable to the

way your predecessor wrecked

his m o t i v a t i o n ) . H o w e v e r ,

attacks on a potential presi­

dential candidate are com­

pletely out of order and could

cause irreparable damage to a

' campaign.

As Chr is wi l l not (actually

cannot thanks to your editor­

ial) now stand for I he post of

I C l I President, 1 am able to

go on record as saying, with

due respect to other potential

candidates, that 1 think Chr is

would have been the best man

for the job.

Chr i s is an excellent orator

a n d has w o i ked h a r d for

students (at IC and elsewhere)

in the past. Sincerity is a word

I would use in describing h im.

T o slate Chr is is pol it ical and

ambitious is hardly to insult

h im. His politics do not agree

wi th mine, but I know Chris

has a genuine concern f o r I he

way any government's policies

affect students—an awareness

many students here would be

advised to develop.

I suspect vou wrote your

editorial in the belief that

Chr is would not stand for

I C l * P r e s i d e n t . I w o u l d

question the rel iabil ity of your

s o u r c e o f i n f o r m a t i o n in

forming that belief ami ask

you if you had contemplated

the possibility Chr is might

change his mi n d over the next

few weeks . W h i l s t a p p r e ­

ciating your desire for a lively

and informed election cam­

paign, I believe you could

have prevented an excellent

candidate from running for

President.

II is possible Chris Webb

m a y d e c i d e to r u n for a

University of London sab­

batical post. If he does, I hope

many IC students wi l l offer

s u p p o r t to a s i n c e r e a n d

articulate candidate.

Tours faithfully

N i c k M o r t o n

President, I C U

Dear Sir

1 was dismayed on Friday

morning to read in F E L I X

that my colleague and fellow

degenerate, M r James Deeny,

h a d supposed ly e m b a r k e d

upon a keep-fit campaign.

C o u l d this be, 1 wondered,

the same James Deeny I had

seen that very morning at

Gloucester R o a d wandering

haphazardly towards the tail

end of a 9:30 lecture amidst a

m i a s m a of f o u l , cancerous

fumes being emitted from a

cigarette clenched between

h i s d e c a y i n g t e e t h , a n d

nursing the bra in -numbing

r e s u l t s o f t h e p r e v i o u s

evening's alcoholic excesses?

Tours sincerely

Decrepit of Hammersmi th

Page 2 FELIX, February 12, 1982

enial

T H E A W F U L L Y E M B A R R A S S I N G refectory Hat in the U n i o n

B u i l d i n g is sti l l empty, despite recent assurances from M r J o h n S m i t h .

Co l lege Secretary, that it w o u l d soon he handed oyer lor student

occupat ion .

M r S m i t h said this week that the use of the Hat is st i l l under review

and mentioned the possibility of conversion into showers.

However , U n i o n President M r N i c k M o r t o n seemed to think that

both Hats in the U n i o n B u i l d i n g wi l l eventually be used as student

accommodat ion . The second Hat is al present occupied by someone

from the Col lege bookings office.

M r M i c h a e l A r t h u r o f the Student Services O f f i c e sa id that

a l though he had not been officially informed, he ant ic ipated that the

Hats w o u l d be handed over lo his control in (he near future. The

possibility of a c commodat ing marr ied couples was mentioned.

New look for

Student Services

T H E S T U D E N T S E R V I C E S

O F F I C E at 15 Princes Gardens

has u n d e r g o n e e x t e n s i v e r e ­

organisation this week. Previously

the stall o l four had a l l worked on

the ground l loor leaving very

little m o m lor students who went

to the office.

N o w the typ ing duties and the

adminis trat ion of bills have been

m o v e d u p s t a i r s l e a v i n g I w o

S t u d e n t S e r v i c e s O f f i c e r s to

remain in the present offices lo

deal with any student problems.

Il is hoped lo have extensive

l ists o l any Hals a n d beds i ts

avai lable on noticeboards. W h e n

the existing part i t ion is removed

there w i l l be plenty ol room tor

b o t h s t u d e n t s l o o k i n g at I he

noticeboard and other people

who need to use the office.

Goodbye

Sue

M R S S U E K A L I C I N S K I , who

was a sub-warden of L instead

H a l l unt i l one year ago, recently

left for the i s l a n d o f T u v a l u

' formerly one of the Colbert a n d

E l l i e e I s lands ) in the P a c i f i c

O c e a n . Sue. and her husband

Geoff, w i l l spend two years as

volunteers teaching Eng l i sh and

m a t h e m a t i c s to s ome o l the

island's 700 inhabitants.

Before m o v i n g to L ins tead ,

Sue was the warden ol Southwel l

House . E v e l y n Gardens , and was

also the U n i o n Welfare Off icer in

her student days here.

Sue wi l l be especially remem­

bered for her collee evenings in

E v e l y n Gardens and her New

Year ' s Eve parlies.

Cock up of the we

Wot no fire? Fireman Barney McCabe, Deputy President of the Imperial

College Union, with the City and Guilds mascot Jezebel, a 1903fire engine

Barney and Jezebel are still basking in the glory of their recent widely

acclaimed appearance on the children's TV programme, Blue Peter

London Student, Feb 11, 1982

MS

ouse More bloody great holes in the skirting

board!

I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E p l a y e d host to a f i l m c r e w f r o m the

Department of Industry 's Information Technology '82 last Tuesday. The

event was a display of maze-so lv ing by live micro ,mice and was .filmed

lo be shown on the fourth channel .

I C M i c r o C l u b booked the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l lor the event a n d also

suppl ied the ten loot square maze w h i c h it had from a s i m i l a r event last

v ear.

>A mouse, looking suspiciously like a ZX80 with a furry doll on top.

The stars of the performance were Ster l ing M o u s e and T h u m p e r

who spoke wi th an A m e r i c a n accent and had previously demolished a n

I C l w n v n e c l maze. >

T h e M i c r o C l u b hope to have one of the mouse builders as a guest speaker soon. %

OLD CENTRALIANS

J . P . S o w d e n B S c ( E n g ) F C G I F I S t r u c t E

F B I M

Chairman , Costain G r o u p L t d 1973-80

Regional Director, Lloyds Bank

Fellow of Imperial College

Governor of Imperial College

Educated at Ci ty and Gui lds College (Civ Eng

dept) 1935-38

This man is an Old Centralian-how,

aboutyou?

For further information contact:

Helen Brookes, Room 303, Sherfield Building? *

Mike Richardson, City and Guilds Union Office,

Mechanical Engineering dept.

FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 3

Following last week's editorial, three

articles have been received on elections...

Reversing the trend

by J Martin Taylor

The last two years have seen a sad decline in

the ability of the U n i o n to have any real effort

o n events in C o l l e g e . O f c o u r s e we are

consulted and sometimes even listened to, but

all too often we are ignored. The reason for

this is the deliberate policy of 'co-operation' of

the last two years.

J o h n Passmore , who it is clear in retrospect

was out of his depth as President, was elected

pledging to increase co-operation with College

after the more confrontation-type policies of

t h e p r e v i o u s t w o P r e s i d e n t s , M a r y

Attenborough and Ch r i s F o x . This , together

w i t h the fact that J o h n P a s s m o r e m a k e s '

Barney M c C a b e appear industrious, has led to

the state of affairs we now see, where 'anything

for a quiet life' seems to have become the

Presidential role. N i c k M o r t o n , although very

likeable and well intentioned, has failed to

reverse this. I'm sure he gets on very well with

the Rector, M r Mooney , etc. H e should do,

because he rarely, if ever, causes them any

problems. Hence the 'quiet life' approach has

spread to the College authorities, who have

c o n s e q u e n t l y s l i p p e d in to a c o m f o r t a b l e

complacency.

I s h o u l d p o i n t out here that I a m not

suggesting that we should hold occupations or

take other forms of disruptive action, except

as a last resort. But the U n i o n has been sadly

lacking any firm, decisive leadership over the

last two years. Co-operation has gone too far

when 'the Rector and the President of the

Students ' U n i o n decided' on a mid-session

r e n t i n c r e a s e ( t o q u o t e f r o m S t u d e n t

R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e m i n u t e s ) in d i r e c t

c o n t r a d i c t i o n of U n i o n po l i cy . T h e n N i c k

M o r t o n says he didn't consider a rent strike

because 'nobody proposed one'. Frightened of

annoying the Rector, Nick? In the words of

M a r k Smith , if we can't rely on the President to

lead, then who will?

In these i n c r e a s i n g l y dif f icult t imes the

U n i o n needs strong leadership, which means

not being afraid ot annoying or criticizing

College 'dignitaries' when they deserve it. It

means standing up for students' interests and

not adopting the laissez-faire attitudes seen

over the last two years. It means leading in a

definite direction, rather than attempting to

drift with the tide and please all of the people

all of the time, which is only possible if you do

n o t h i n g (as N i c k M o r t o n is b e l a t e d l y

discovering).

In short: co-operation, yes; but when it

r e a c h e s the e x t e n t of a c q u i e s c e n c e to

everything College comes up with, then it has

gone too far. The U n i o n has become little

more than a branch of the College administra­

tion when more than ever it needs to be

fighting the students' corner. This trend must

be r e v e r s e d n o w . C o m e b a c k M a r y

Attenborough and C h r i s F o x , all is forgiven!

1982 Presidential

Election

by Andrew Lyall

It cannot have escaped the notice of any

student who has been at IC for more than a

year and quite possibly many of those who

arrived at the beginning of this year that I C U is

a fast declining institution held in contempt by

many of its ordinary members. This is a tragic

thing to have happened to the instrument that

represents the students of one of the most

important academic institutions in the world.

Traditionally the sabbatical Un ion Officers

s t r e n u o u s l y b l a m e t h i s o n t h e o r d i n a r y

members, who they say are boring, apathetic

and not interested in the Union . What amazes

me is that after pathetic exhibitions like the last

U G M they should be at all surprised by the

non-interest. I have been at IC now for five

years and my own experience does not tally

with this commonly held view. The old joke

about boring scientists and engineers is simply

not true. One only needs to look at the many

very active clubs and societies and the large

number of events that take place every week

to realise that IC is overflowing with interesting

and intelligent people.

N o the truth is very far from this. The

problem lies in the fact that in recent years the

U n i o n has been represented by the very small

minority of students at IC who are boring.

Those people who view the U n i o n as a vehicle

for cosseting their own egos and providing

them with a glass of sherry when something

Effective

leadership

by Stephen Goulder

The most important single factor effecting I C U

next year will be the increase in its grant. This

increase will be not more than 5%, which is well

short of the rate of inflation. This is arguably

fair since College itself is having to sustain a

cut of 20% in its expenditure over the next

three years.

In view of this any changes made under the

regime of the next I C U President must be cost

e f fec t ive . A l l the e l e c t i o n p ledges of the

prospective candidates must be seen in this

light. For example we can only bring the Union

Refectory under Un ion control if it is going to

generate a profit in the short and medium

term. I have used this example because it is the

pledge most often made but (as usual) never

kept, indeed accurate costings of the Un ion

R e f e c t o r y have n e v e r been made by the

U n i o n . This is one good reason to treat every

election candidate with healthy scepticism.

T h i s n e e d f o r a n a p p r e c i a t i o n of t h e

economic climate is most obvious in the antics

of M r N i c k M o r t o n and the Bar Committee .

His committee apparently intends to have a

bust of Prince Albert in the Southside Bar in

addition to a coloured print of Prince Albert 's

coat of arms and various Vic tor ian prints at a

c o s t of £750. T h i s is u t ter waste a n d a n

extravagance that any President should have

stopped immediately.

T h e r e is a l so ine f f i c i ency in the U n i o n

administration itself which must be cut. In

particular U n i o n Finance Committee must

have a more effective policy governing the

expenses that most clubs have in common. In

upsets them. They may well be nice people—in

fact having known almost all of them I know

this to be so, but they have not been leaders,

and worse they have not been interested in

the membership. In my view there is a wealth

of talent and potential interest and involvement

present among the membership waiting for a

suitable President to be elected.

The normal procedure for electing a Un ion

President relies on candidates who have been

"brought up through the ranks " in the U n i o n

way of thinking and after the votes have been

counted they take a single step sideways and

sit d o w n in the P r e s i d e n t i a l c h a i r . T h e s e

people are easily recognizable and 1 urge you

not to vo te for t h e m as they are t o ta l ly

unsuited for the position of President.

This is going to be a very important year for

students at IC . The I C / Q E C merger is still

lurking in the background and the student

grant has received a substantial cut in real

terms. The Brit ish education system has a

history of political tinkering and it is important

that the elected representatives of I C U should

resist any attempt to break the mould of the

Brit 'sh education system against the interest of

the universities and students concerned. This

issue of merges is a far wider one and effects

not only I C / Q E C students. Have you heard of

the Bedford /Birkbeck merge for example?

Back at College a private caterer has at last

broken the Mooney monopoly and discussions

about an N U S referendum are starting again.

A lot of important decisions are going to

have to be made this coming year and it is of

vital importance to elect a President who is not

going to let himself be pushed around and is

dedicated to making the U n i o n effectual and

more relevant to its members.

particular laying down norms for publicity and

speakers expenses. They have already taken

steps to effectively put the clubs that need to

buy large items of equipment onto five year

plans (hence spreading the load over five

years). This must be carried on by next year's

Executive.

In the f i e lds of A c a d e m i c A f f a i r s a n d

External Affairs the President plays a leading

role. Again it is the expenditure cuts that

govern the range of problems that will crop up.

W e must fight to keep a firm commitment to

teaching in all departments rather than let it be

sacrificed to save current research. The public

spending cuts generally mean that we are

w i t n e s s i n g a r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n of L o n d o n

University as a whole. Thus to be an effective

voice next year we must have an integrated

response from the student unions of L o n d o n

University.

I hope it is apparent that next session we

m u s t h a v e a P r e s i d e n t w h o h a s s o m e

experience of the way both College and Union

w o r k s . U n i n f o r m e d e l e c t i o n p ledges c a n

seldom be implemented.

It is clear that the Union has lost its direction

over the last two years. This has occured

because the sabbaticals have failed to relate to

many students and have been content to wait

in the U n i o n Bar for the masses to come to

them. But perhaps the most fatal error made

by M r M o r t o n and M r Passmore is that they

assumed that by sitting on committees they

were actually being effective. They were in fact

becoming ever more isolated in the Union

Office never making any real effort to talk to

o r d i n a r y s t u d e n t s . T h e y thus e x c h a n g e d

relevant feedback for hackist sycophancy.

Thus I urge you to vote for a candidate who

is at least partly experienced in Un ion affairs,

willing to argue the U n i o n cause effectively,

and most importantly willing to get out of his

office and meet students around College.

Page 4 FELIX, February 12, 1982

Small Ads •Vacation Jobs

Wanted for t ra in ing a n d one week

t e l e p h o n e i n t e r v i e w i n g : 2 D u t c h ,

2 G e r m a n and 2 Italian nat ionals to

c o n d u c t market research for a g e o ­

phys ica l survey. Sc ient i f i c know ledge

r e q u i r e d — m i n i m u m A L e v e l ( o r

e q u i v a l e n t ) P h y s i c s a n d M a t h s .

P a y m e n t £ 3 . 5 0 an h o u r . C o n t a c t

C l a i r e , F i e l d D e p a r t m e n t , B u r k e

Market Resea rch , 6 C a m p d e n H igh

Street, L o n d o n NW1 O J H ; te lephone

(01) 387-5761.

•Working Holidays, Summer Jobs.

G u i d e to var ied work oppor tun i t ies

and free travel at home and abroad ,

£ 1 . 5 0 . H a w t h o r n B o o k s ( F X ) ,

39 H a w t h o r n W a y , S t o r r i n g t o n ,

S u s s e x

•Bush Arena stereo tuner-amplifier and Garaa rd S P 2 5 M k l V turntable and speakers , vgc, £100ono. P h o n e Mar ie , 404-4441 ext 3046 dur ing day or 602-2237 after 6:00pm.

• Pioneer turntable 512, belt dr ive and Tr io KA3700 stereo ampl i f ier , 25w, both in excel lent cond i t ion . £80 the p a i r , o r w i l l s p l i t . C o n t a c t M . G . R o b i n s o n , M e c h Eng 2.

•Two Sony speakers (SS50), 40w, g o o d cond i t ion , £40 pair, ono . A . C . Hay, D o C 3 .

• N A D 9200 cartridge, Mmt on ly £10. Con tac t Terry J u d d , C iv Eng 2 or 373-5367 after 6:00pm. • T a n g e n t R S 4 s a n d s t a n d s a n d moni tor audio leads, £175 or offers, 584-8241 evenings.

•Wanted: Any in format ion leading to the return o

f

Bo 's toolkit, i.e., a 2" Whi twor th brass spanner and spare sump bolt. P lease contact C & G U . •Single room S inc la i r G d n s , £25pw. Con tac t Steve J a c k s o n , E E 2 .

• Person needed to share flat, Sou th -f ields, near tube, £25pw inc hot water, centra l heat ing, l ight ing, etc. (phone exc l ) . P h o n e int 3370 or 874-9920.

•Would two girls l ike to comp le te a g roup of 8 to apply for a C o l l e g e head tenancy flat next year? If interested p lease contac t Ph i l ip A d e y via Ae ro 2 let ter-racks.

• Lists of lifts to a n d f r o m S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n c a n be o b t a i n e d f r o m R o o m 6M19 , Hux ley Bu i l d i ng New i n c l u s i o n s a r e a l w a y s w e l c o m e Please state c lear ly whether y o u want or are offer ing a lift and give your internal and external phone numbers (or letter-rack contac t points) . No phone cal ls please—I have no ob jec­t ion to d o i n g th is in my spare- t ime, but it has to be at my conven ience .

• Perhaps a little late now but a brief note that Ch r i s tmas and other used cards can be sent (or taken) to the Sisters of Verona , 4 Ch i sw i ck Lane , W4. They use them in their therapy work for the menta l ly hand i capped .

• Badgesoc makes badges for anyone : s o c i e t y , c l u b , e l e c t i o n c a n d i d a t e , valent ine, c l ique. Taste no object , e.g. "Ba rney M c C a b e Fan C l u b " . Con tac t Lee Mercer c /o M e c h E n g . •Fancy a free ticket to the Hammer­smith Theatre? A l l that's involved is a c c o m p a n y i n g s o m e old people there. C o m e to a meet ing on M o n d a y in the C o m m u n i t y Ac t i on Group ' s room, top of the U n i o n , at 12:30pm.

• Covent G d n , The Venue, Paris Pullman, The Southbank—interested? Meet us to d i scuss these and any th ing else, M o n Feb 15, 12:45pm, Beit A r c h B o t / Z o o C o m m o n R o o m .

•Rash, Tim, Anthony, Denbo, Alison, Angela, Hannah, etc. T h a n k s for a great bir thday.

•Wanted: C S gas and stun g renades . See C & G Un ion .

• IC MCP Soc wil l meet in A8 L ins tead every night. B o o k a b l e in advance . A m e r i c a n Express accep ted . P lease c o m e qu ick ly .

• T o m Owen has got his head together and wi l l not be s tand ing for anything. A p o l o g i e s to those whose hopes were ra ised.

• Guy! If you' re worr ied about shar ing you r bed try a cork.

• BE 2 / DN W S . J . A . Har r ison (ex-Wimp

of the Week) takes on J u i c y Janet . Wil l

Kirt Gerb i l ' s work -ou ts pay off!

•Wanted: One 36" DD c u p bra for use

as jockst rap. R m 622, T iza rd .

• K a y ' s S i s t e r , I l o v e y o u , D a v i d ' s brother

• K a r e n Barnett I w ish I was ten years

younger , J o h n Healy

• J o h n , so do I Ka ren

• C a r o l i n e B rown I think you ' re great.

If you ever need an extra player, I'll g lad ly shave my legs. H a m m y

• S u e M ? I hope you don't go away.

• A l e x B., and of course Mac ie i , happy Valent ine 's Day from F l? and S n o w ­bal l .

• F i f i : you make that rock ing wor ld go round—Br ian M.

• 6 7 2 : "I wander lonely as a c l o u d -but on ly when you' re not there, 1. •A l i son—I ' ve been long ing to get out of hospi ta l and into your arms. Lots of love, Andy .

• E lena. If a w o m a n in your pos i t ion

were to grant me an hour? Geo rge .

• H y d e Park isn't b ig e n g u g h for our

l ove—come to the moon with me—I've

heard there's plenty of Gui r tness there

and no creaky f loorboards—I love y o u

madly and forever, T rog lede B.

• 6 4 3 3 S F ; Pa t ience is a virtue, am

look ing forward to reward:

• D o n ' t tell L i am, Maths 1.

• T o schoo lg i r l s everywhere all my

love—Jez .

• T o J e z all my l o v e — H Q N O O . • T o the high p i tched Sco tswoman " H u l l o o ! " b e M . Y . v a l e n t i n e — C h u n d e r m a n .

• L o v e and k isses to all " L e s femmes de la c l i que " f rom P & A .

• N . G . L ins tead longt ime no see, have

a g o o d day anyway, the Tar tan F rog .

• W o o d s t o c k , happy Valent ine 's Day,

love and k isses and cudd les , B o n z o .

• P e n g u i n shifts to ninety degrees

because Fosters refreshes the parts G u i n n e s s can't reach.

• H o t l i p s of Phys i cs , be my valent ine, lots of love, Bi f fo.

• L o u i s e , be my C a n a d i a n "valentine. Tenn is players do it for love, M i chae l . • P e t a l — y o u too c a n d o it o n the computer .

•I'l l be you r va lent ine a n y t ime you ' r e

on a D C - 1 0 ser ies 300. Meet me for a

bit of s lothfu l dev ia t ion.

• T o my hunk, thanks to F E L I X , my

fel ine f r iend, I can say 'I love y o u ' and

save £8 into the barga in , the Kat. P S :

H a p p y Bi r thday.

• S t u t c h b e r r i e s — o n l y £1—so ld .

• M a r t i n with one and a half legs, why

didn't y o u fall for a drane ins tead of

get t ing all p lastered up?

• De reyous chap sa id : " C o m e p lay me a ba l l a rd " and she agreed.

• N o t t i n g h a m F o r e s t o n e , S t u a r t

Un i ted love. A n i l luminat ing match !

• H u n t . Beware , when the cats away

the m ice wi l l play. Take care.

• C a p t a i n L — c a n we al l jo in y o u in

y o u r Matey bubb le ba th? L o v e and

k isses , the kitty.

• T i m m y : I've noth ing to lose,_ Jane .

• Fraser : T h a n k s for the bal l , E i ra . .

• G r i b b i t : A k i n d r e d s p i r i t : T h e creature from the b lack l agoon .

• Bendy : Why haven't you no t i ced me? Shi r ley .

• J a n e B: C r a d l e sna tch in ' s fun, J W .

• P h i l l i p a : You ' re B E H I N D the t i m e s -

Dav id J a m e s .

• O t t e r — R a v i s h me, J a n e W.

• P h i l l i p a — L i e b a c k a n d t h i n k of P o l a n d — M ?

• C h i p p i e — C o m e fly with me, The B i rdman .

• T s a r — T w e e t , Tweet , Teapot .

• D r Waage—f rom your loyal b lood dono rs !

• L e c h — L e t ' s exp ress ou r S o l i d a r n o s c ? Y o n .

• A m a n d a — W h e n wi l l the answer be yes? S . C . R . E . W .

• R u s s e l l — M a y our affair last forever. Ar thur G u i n n e s s .

• T u r k e y , you ' re f inger l i ck in ' g o o d ,

Gary .

• D e b b i e — s q u e e z e me! Zit .

• Ant—I' l l never g ive y o u a c o m m o n

c o l d — D J B H C .

• J i l l — L e t ' s shake, rattle and ro l l , U g .

• P o d g e — L o o k i n g fo rward to T u e s ­

day, Lynz .

• I / U C h a l l e n g e G r i f f i n / G a s c o i g n e to be a sweet ie /smar t ie today. • H a p p y Valent ine 's Day f rom " T h e G a n g of Four " .

John Watts (ex Fischer-Z)

2 Supports, Steel Band, Jazz Band, & 2 Discos

Food available. Bar til 2am. 8pm-3am Union Building Tickets £2.50

FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 5

What do you want to know about Welfare Week for? After all,

you're not sick. Mummy and Daddy told you all about the birds

and bees ages ago, and perhaps you're onto the 'practical' by

now. It's bound to be boring, anyway. Well, in my time at IC I've

come across some pretty weird misconceptions and some

extremely naive attitudes, not to mention a fair number of

unreasonable viewpoints. What we're aiming to do is to provide a

factual background and an open forum for discussion on a few of

these points, and maybe even a bit of fun (shock, horror!). It's up

to you if you want to come along or not, but it's taking up a fair

amount of your money, so you may as well come along and make

it worthwhile.

Glad to be Gay? F r o m most people's attitudes in this place you may think that it's pretty

odd to be gay—something dirty or whatever. Yet statistically there are

probably as many as 500 gays at IC. So , if you've found that you are (or

might be) gay you're almost certainly not as alone as you felt.

But what does it feel like to be gay? Is it any 'different'? H o w do you

become gay—is it a disease (yes, people actually believe that), is it inborn

or a result of background? I don't know, but come along and discuss

i t—whether you're gay yourself, or consider gays as " fucking queers" or

"raving poufs" it's likely there'll be something to gain.

I've noticed that many people find it threatening to be in the company

of someone who is gay—apparently they think that they're just about to

leap on them or something—but perhaps a word: do you find every girl

(or guy) you come across irresistably attractive? Chances are he/she

finds you as unattractive as you find him/her.

0,

Films On show all Wednesday afternoon.

Just One The effect of that one drink on your

system is quite surprising. Find out!

The Least You Can Do A moderately serious

view of contraception.

Drinking Drinking more sodding drinking—but

you almost all do too much!

'Ave you got a male assistant miss? A light

hearted view of the taboos of contraception.

A VD Attack Plan Not us at it, but it at us (wot?)

O, 'o

4

ICU Welfare Officer

EVEN 12:45pm

1:00pm

Tuesday, February 16

Gale Is Dead Union S C R

Wednesday, February 17

00pm

10pm

00pm

3:00pm

4:00pm

8 til late

Condom Inflation

Competition

Drugs: Good or Bad?

Film: Sex can be a Problem

Discussion of film and sexual

Problems

Drinking: what does it do

to you?

Gay: what does it mean?

'Welfare Hop '—Barn Dance

& Disco. Late bar & films

Beit Quad

Upper Lounge

Union Dining Hall

Union Dining Hall

Brown C o m m Rm

Upper Lounge

Union Building

Thursday, February 18

1:00pm Police: good, bad or just ugly? Upper Lounge

The Fuzz

Hav e you got the greatest of respect for the Police Force? Not everyone

has—the more scruffy amongst us tend to represent prime targets for

searching for drugs, breathalysing and so on, and it doesn't tend to leave

you with too good an image when you've just been made twenty minutes

late for an important meeting (I know!). Yet they do need to do their job

somehow (or are you an anarchist?). If you have either viewpoint, or

could put forward any suggestions, come along Thursday lunchtime and

voice your views.

Sex can be a Problem

Right now your only problem may be "getting it down" at embarrassing

times. Yet it might frighten you that it has been estimated that one in

twelve women suffer from frigidity, and that one in twenty men suffer

from impotence. It's not something many of us discuss much—and

perhaps you didn't know of the treatments available (I sure didn't). This

film will be followed by a discussion headed by a representative of

'Grapev ine '—a young peoples sexual counselling agency (amongst other

things)—come along to either or both.

Attention Links/Chaps/22/Field C u p

Contestants

A r o u n d IC it's the accepted thing to go for a drink with your mates. Fine,

but we all know that drinking can be a problem. W h e n does social

drinking become a problem? Ten pints a week? Twenty? It's difficult to

know, but I was shocked when I found out just how much alcohol affects

the system, and how long the effects last. Perhaps the most sobering

thought (excuse the pun) was brought home by the film Just One

(showing Wednesday afternoon). I always thought one drink did nothing

to me and that two or three had little more effect—but I found I was

wrong. Obviously cirrhosis of the liver isn't the only possible problem.

If you've been going to the pub more than four or five times a week—if

you've really got into practice so that you can handle eight or ten pints,

then the chances are that you might be doing yourself serious harm.

Please pick up a questionnaire from the display in the Union Lower

Lounge (a leaflet as well if you like) and fill it in—with luck we can get

some statistics for College. In any case please come along 10 the talk by

the L o n d o n Counc i l on Alcohol ism and find out just what you're doing to

yourself!

Gale Is Dead

Gale was nineteen and pretty. She 'd been taken into care at the age of six

months and in the intervening years had been in fourteen different

institutions. She became a drug addict. N o w G a l e is dead. Perhaps a life

where nothing went right, but perhaps not so different from your own.

For those who didn't see this film on B B C H o r i z o n in 1970 it's a must.

A tragic story, but it should be of interest to everyone.

Drugs

I guess that nearly everyone at College has come across drugs at some

time. (Note, that includes tobacco and alcohol by definition!), and whether

or not you support the legalisation of cannabis you must agree that

some drugs do have very harmful effects. But because it's illegal, drugs is

not a subject that is often discussed, and perhaps you might be tempted

to 'try them out' to see what they're like. Just what are the effects (both

pleasurable and harmful) of specific drugs? What is truth and what is

myth? Just what does the law say? These are all things I'm not sure about

(perhaps you are!), and there's a chance to ask all these questions (and

more) at the discussion lead by the community drug project (Wednesday

afternoon).

Abortion

It's a pretty emotive subject and whether you're a firm believer in the

"women's right to choose" or the "rights of the unborn ch i ld " this often

stirs up a lot of feeling. But yet this is often allowed to cover up facts that

are important, leaving the pregnant party bewildered and mixed up to say

the least. A r e the fears of future sterility well founded or rubbish (or

something in between)? C a n your G P stall you until it's too late? What

will an abortion cost? See the stall in the U n i o n Lower Lounge to find out,

any time during the week.

Rape

"Well , it's good for a laugh."

" A l l women need a good raping anyway."

"They enjoy it."

For anyone who thinks any of these are true, perhaps I can straighten

out a few misconceptions. Rape is a very serious business—if "they enjoy

i t " , then it just isn't rape—something more like the truth might include

violence (beating, "cutt ing" , etc.), anal and/or oral as well as normal sex

and other enforced degradation (the attacker might urinate or defaecate

on the victim for instance). Pretty sickening picture isn't it? It seems to be

something accepted in our "male dominated society' that women only

exist to "get la id" and that if some girl is wearing attractive clothing she's

out to "get a man" . This leads to many of the misconceptions that can

lead to rape. If you want to know more, please pick up one of the leaflets

that'll be around, or come and see me and I'll lend you a copy of the Rape

Cris is Centre 's report.

IC Welfare Plug Believe it or not, IC has quite a good range of welfare facilities—almost

whatever's wrong there's bound to be someone to go to see.

H e a l t h C e n t r e - t h i s boasts three fu l l - t ime d o c t o r s a n d n u r s i n g /

administrative staff to match, a large sick bay and various visiting

specialists (including an accupuncturist!) . They're all to be found in 14

Princes Gardens .

Student Counsellor -Don 'hangs out' in the basement of number 15

Princes Gardens and spends his time talking to students about anything

that is bothering them; from workload to home environment and beyond.

So why not go and see him if you have a problem-it's absolutely

confidential so no-one else will know.

Student Services-This includes the accommodation office (medium-

large amounts of College and private sector accommodation) to sort out

somewhere to live and the 'Welfare Bit ' to help out with practical

problems (landlord hassles, rent rebates, signing on, rights, etc.) and

anything else that you can't think where to go for—if they don't know,

they'll probably know where you can find out.

Nightline-This has the great advantage of being open at night rather

than during the day-if you're feeling a bit down or would like to chat about

something there's always someone there during termtime (6:00pm-

8:00am). They 've got a fair selection of info too on Ents , films, discos,

transports; you name it! A n d they'll find you somewhere to find out if they

can't tell you themselves. Sounds impressive, doesn't it? T o find how it

really works, drop in some time to the basement of 9 Princes Gardens or

ring them on 581-2468.

Day Nursery -For anyone with p r e s c h o o l age children, this can be a

great help-it runs throughout the year (not just during termtime) and has

skilled and experienced staff. There's even a grants scheme for anyone

who can't afford the full fees-but unfortunately there's often a waiting list,

so if you think you might want to use it try to let them know in advance

Page 6 FELIX, February 12, 1982 FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 7

CLUBS AND SOCIETIES-

PhotoSoc

A s those of you who have read our newsletter will know, we have arrangec

two lectures and two competitions for the end of this month and the

b e g i n n i n g of n e x t . T h e r e a r e , h o w e v e r , s o m e a l t e r a t i o n s to the

programme. Firstly, the lecture on M a r c h 2 entitled " T h e rise and fall of

the plate camera ' by Mart in Russell , will start at 7:30pm and not 6:30pm as

stated. M r Russell will be bringing a van-load of historical plate cameras

with h im, and if you have an old camera you would like to bring along he

will give an expert opinion on it. Entrance is free, but come early, as the

theatre (Mines 3-03) is not very large and M r Roussell is an extremely

popular lecturer.

Secondly, M r A . J . Wi lk inson F R I C S , who was to be judging the

coloure competition on M a r c h 16, is unable to come. W e will be trying to

find another judge, further details will be given nearer the time.

F i n a l l y , d o n ' t forget that o u r f irst event is a b l a c k a n d whi te

competition, to be judged by M r G .D . H a r p m a n , on February 23 at

6:30pm in Mines 3-03. The entry fee is 20p per print, and photos should

be not less than 5"x7" and need not be mounted.

S F S o c

T h e r e c o m e s a t ime i n e v e r y

man's (and woman's) life when he

(or she) has to face up to certain

undeniable . truths. Fortunately,

this time has, for me at least, not

yet arrived, so here is a bulletin

instead. A new S F magazine has

c o m e i n t o e x i s t a n c e a n d i t s

Brit ish . It's called Ext r o and issue

one is rather good. If it continues

at that standard it will be worth

ordering. I have no information

about the other new magazine,

Interzone. Have you ever won­

dered why biblical fundamentalists

don't think the earth is flat? What

freemasonry is all about? H o w

Nigel Ca lder persuades the B B C

to film the scripts he sends them?

Is it r e a l l y t r u e t h a t a w e l l

p r o g r a m m e d K r a y O n e w i t h

f e e d b a c k m e c h a n i s m s w o u l d

make a better Prime Minister than

Margaret Thatcher? What are the

Protocols of the Elders of Britain?

D o you know what Merovigian

means? A l l these questions are

l i n k e d . I r e m e m b e r l a u g h i n g

yesterday but I can't remember

what at. Does anyone think they

can write funny bulletins for S F

Soc? D o you thank G a r y Trudeau

w o u l d a c c e p t t h e j o b ? Y e s ,

question marks can be fun, but

when were they invented? Some­

body call the A A : I'm about to

have a breakdown.

R.T. Zinc and Hiriam Maxim

Ind Soc

T o d a y , Ian R o s s w i l l a c t u a l l y

speak C h e m Eng L T 1 , 1:00pm,

bankruptcies , strikes and general

chaos permitting. Hear how Laker

flew and flopped.

The Great Thames Barrier was

inspected and passed safe by the

Industrial Society yesterday. This

was one of our most popular visits

yet, with a minibusful enjoying a

l o o k r o u n d o n e of L o n d o n ' s

modern monuments.

Next : Election Fever hits ICIS

as well as I C U this week. Nomina ­

tions for next year's Committee

close on Friday, February 19, so

anyone who may wish to s land

p l e a s e d r o p a n o t e l o C h r i s

Wilshaw, C h e m Eng 4 or come lo

today's c o m m i t t e e m e e t i n g ,

12:30pm, C h e m Eng Theatre I.

A l s o next week: 'The Fuel ol I he

F u t u r e ' ta lk by M r P a r k e t o l

t ' N a t i o n a l C o a l B o a r d see

posters and nexl week's I I.I IX

for details.

C o m i n g soon: Full day wi lh

Brit ish A i r w a y s — " W h a t does a

Manager actually do?" you ask.

Wel l , here's a chance lo accoin

pany one about his daily business

and find out more information as

we receive i t—We ' l l take more

care of you!

AudioSoc

M y sincerest apologies come along with a whole string of them from M r

M i k e Daniels and he is very sorry for not being able to come along and

lecture to all you lovely afficianados but the Aud io T / A T LabsShow

came first as I am sure you will understand. Maybe next time, eh? N o w

dry your eyes and after having sighed a silent sigh, read on... .

Rol l up, roll up, rollup; hear the bestest lecture you'se ever did

hear—Hallelujah life is anew. Although he is Austral ian (and they did

bring Fosters along with the Aborigne and the hopping kangaroo), M a x

Townshend is a great personality and an amazing electrical engineer to

boot. H o w could you possibly miss this one?

Elite Electronics will conjure up mental facsimiles of small black boxes

with knobs on , sticky mat turntables with no knobs on and very good

sound quality. We l l , M a x is the Managing Director of this company and

he has promised to come in and give us a lecture on some of the ideas he

had used in developing his audio system. This he has promised to do on

Monday , February 15, at 6:30pm in the Quiet R o o m , QR002 , Sherfield

Building. S o support your neighbourhood Spiderman and come along. I

vow that you will enjoy yourselves. Br ing a friend, dog or bottle.

Just as an extra incentive (and someone else did this) Raymond C o o k ,

Managing Director of K . E . T . Loudspeakers is at Imperial College the

next day, Tuesday, February 16 at 6:00pm in Room 6.20, Royal Schoo l of

M i n e s B u i l d i n g . H i s l e c t u r e is e n t i t l e d " T h e D e v e l o p m e n t of the

Loudspeaker" . H e is a very educated gentleman—witness the number of

times his product gets on Tomorrow's World.

2nd Year Students Now[s the time to make plans for a job in the Summer of '82... If you ' re an ambitious 2nd year student, F o r d have

some good news for you. W e are looking for a

small number of people l ike you to work for us for

up to 3 months this summer vacation in jobs which

wi l l be very r e w a r d i n g in more ways than one.

There are opportunities in Sales & Marke t ing ,

Des ign Engineer ing , Finance or Systems, and

you ' l l earn around £400 a month. Y o u ' l l also gain

valuable work exper ience and, if you l ike us and

we l ike you, these openings cou ld l ead to an

excit ing career opportunity when you come down

To be cons idered for Systems or Engineer ing

you must be read ing a relevant degree . How­

ever, if you 'd l ike to work in Sales & M a r k e t i n g or

Finance any degree disc ip l ine would be

welcome.

So join the Ford team this summer. It wi l l be a

very r e w a r d i n g exper ience . For more

information, contact Miss Porter of the C a r e e r s

A d v i s o r y Serv ice in Room 309, Sherf ield Bui lding.

C l o s i n g date 28th February , 1982.

Page 8 FELIX, February 12, 1982

CLUBS AND SOCIETIES

Graffiti

F o r t h o s e w h o d o n ' t k n o w ,

G r a f f i t t i m e m b e r s a r e s t r a n g e

p e o p l e w h o r e v e l i n a r t i s t i c

activity. Perhaps more accurately

we attempt to produce screen-

p r i n t e d p o s t e r s , T - s h i r t s a n d

v a r i o u s o t h e r t h i n g s . W e a r e

prepared to print almost anything.

A lot of our work involves printing

p o s t e r s f o r o t h e r c l u b s a n d

societies. So , if you're a publicity

officer bored with F E L I X printing,

come and see us. W e usually need

a couple of weeks notice because

all printing is done in spare time.

W e can be found, about half-way

up the West Staircase (opposite

side to U n i o n Office) of the Un ion

Building behind the G y m . There is

always someone there on Wednes­

day afternoons or alternatively

contact us throught department

letter-racks.

W e have recently bought an

airbrush which will be available to

members when they have been

shown how to use it properly.

Demonstrations will be held on

Wednesdays and must be attended

by anyone who wants to use it.

ICCAG

Free tickets to the theatre, read

on A l l that you need to do is

take some old people. We' l l pay

for y o u r t i c k e t . G e t in t o u c h

Monday if you're interested.

L ike playing with kids? T w o

options open: Saturday aftenoon

at A c t o n w i t h h a n d i c a p p e d

children, or outings with children

of battered wives.

Usua l Soup Runs and draught-

p r o o f i n g h o m e s , v i s i t i n g o l d

people at a home in High St.

Kensington, visiting patients at St.

Pancras Hospital . A l l details at the

meeting.

Meetings: Monday , 12:30pm, in

our room at the top of the Union .

Bookshop News

I C O N , the Imperial Co l lege Review is now on sale in the

Bookshop , price 25p; unfortunately, this will be the last issue for

some time. Due to the present economic situation, the Editorial

B o a r d has decided to suspend publication until further notice.

New Titles

Nuclear Illusion & Reality-Solly Zuckerman, Col l ins £4.95

Master Sn iper -Stephen Hunter , Pan £1.50

D u p e - L i z a C o d y , Pan £1.25

f?e/ /ex-Dick Francis , Pan £1.50

O p t i o n s - F r e d a Bright, Pan £1.50

L i o n of Comarre & Against the Fall of Night-Arthur C. Clarke,

Pan El.50

Alice Fell-Emma Tennant, Picador £1.95

Woman in W/hife-Wilkie Col l ins , Pan £1.95

Psychoanalysis, the Impossible Profession-Janet M a l c o l m , Pica­

dor £1.95

Managing with Computers-Terry Rowan, Pan £2.50

Jogging from M e m o r y - R o b B u c k m a n , Pan £1.25

Paupers P a r i s - M i l e s Turner , Pan £1.95

Just off for the Weekend-John Slater, Pan £2.50

Five U p - L a d d i e Lucas , Sidgwick, £7.95 (Signed by author.)

Bookshop Window

Drawing equipment from C a n n o n & U r i n .

Comput ing books from John Wiley.

I C O N from you know who.

I wonder if you illustrious editor could put a name to the model

on the front of Rob Buckman's book?

C i ty Limits is now on sale at the Bookshop.

Snooker

In the on ly m a t c h p l a y e d last

week, the A team beat the C team

4-1. Notable performances came

f r o m H u r f o r d , w h o c r u s h e d a

slightly subdued Gaski l l to gain

the on ly C t eam v i c t o r y , a n d

White , who brought M r Holt down

to earth after his surprise, but

well-earned, victory over Jennings

in the O p e n . C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s ,

hugs and kisses must also go to

super cool Algy, who took out B

team star Wright in the same

competition.

P S , S T O P P R E S S , etc .—watch

out for details of social event of

the y e a r — the S n o o k e r C l u b

outing, comeing soon.

CND

STOIC

Sex

Depressed? Tense nervous headaches? Soothe away your aches and

pains with S T O I C (the most fun you can have with your clothes on)

Be amazed by the fabulous array of stars.

Be thrilled by the mind-bogglingly scintillating special effects.

Be shocked by the depth-investigative journalism.

TifiZ/arion

Here 's some questions the everyday student about College asks about

S T O I C .

O r g y

Q : What has a network of ten television sets and is expanding? (Clue: not

IC Radio).

Q: Does S T O I C Really have a Quantel Special Effects Generator costing

millions of pounds?

Q : Has S T O I C overspent on its budget?

Q : What is S T O I C ? Incest

If you are remotely interested in the answers to the above or you know

how to switch on a television, S T O I C needs your technical expertise.

(Perhaps you only want to interview your favourite sex symbol.)

Carnal Pleasure

Whatever your interest in television, why no: come along to the T V

Studio (Elec Eng) at any time and meet some sincere, friendly people.

(See our illustrious C h a i r m a n , Lawrence, as well.)

H o w are we going to disarm?

T h r o u g h the p r o c e s s of o u r

Parliamentary democracy? If this

is to be the case it can only occur

through a change of government.

C o m e a l o n g to M a t h s 213 at

1:00pm on Thursday, February

18, and listen to Frank A l laun , M P

outline the Labour Party's case.

They have made many promising

s t a t e m e n t s , b u t w o u l d t h e y

produce the goods if they got into

power?—Remember which gov­

ernment authorised the upgrading

of P o l a r i s i n t h e C h e v a l i n e

programme.

For your information on Satur­

day, February 13, IC is playing

host to a 'Professions against the

B o m b " c o n f e r e n c e ( m e d i c s ,

journalists, scientists, that sort of

thing). It's interesting to think that

m a n y peop le a t t a c k C N D for

b e i n g g e n e r a l l y l e f t - w i n g a n d

idealist, yet much of our strongest

support comes from some of the

m o s t " r e s p e c t a b l e " g r o u p s in

society.

Scout

and Guide

Last Thursday 's regular lunchtime

m e e t i n g i n c l u d e d a t a l k o n

cl imbing in the A l p s . O u r fort­

n i g h t l y w e e k e n d t r i p w a s to

S n o w d o n i a last w e e k e n d . W e

stayed in a comfortable hut in the

O g y w n Valley and went climbing

o n T r y f a r a n d w a l k i n g on the

G l y d e r s o n S a t u r d a y . B e t t e r

weather on Sunday encouraged ail

of us to go for a n i n t e r e s t i n g

traverse of the C a r n e d d group of

p e a k s . F i n e w e a t h e r g a v e us

b r e a t h t a k i n g v i e w s of most of

Snowdonia . After a meal at the

hut we returned to College.

Yesterday 's meeting was a trip

up the Queen 's Tower to yet

a n o t h e r i n t e r e s t i n g v i e w of

London 's skyline. Next week's

regular meeting will be a talk on

Photography by an expert from

the R C A , in Mines 303 at 12:30pm.

T h e n e x t w e e k e n d t r i p is o n

February 19 to 21 and is a service

pro j e c t at the N a ' i n a l S c o u t

b o a t i n g c e n t r e i n '. i a r l o w - o n -

Thames.

For further details of all events

see us at "But t i e s " in the South

side Upper Lounge above the bar

every lunchtime.

Soc Soc

O n Tuesday, February 16, there

will be representatives present

f r o m ' W o m e n f o r L i f e ' a n d

Women 's Vo i ce speaking on the

subject of abortion. The discussion

w i l l t a k e p l a c e i n the G r e e n

Committee R o o m at the top of the

U n i o n Building at 6:30pm. A l l are

welcome.

Secondly this term's 'Radical ' is

u n d e r p r e p a r a t i o n (Soc S o c ' s

newspaper). If you feel the urge to

write something on any aspect of

socialism (related to IC or just

socialism in general), send it to Ian

House , Life Sc i 1.

Finally, don't forget our book­

store in the J C R , Friday lunch-

times. We 're always ready for an

argument, so see you there.

Wing Chun

N o doubt if you've been reading

our previous articles in F E L I X

you'll be well aware of the history

and traditions of W i n g C h u n , so I

won't bore you all again. Instead

I'll try to give you a small idea

about the non-physical side of the

art.

W i n g C h u n places great em­

phasis on the training of the mind

for without the right attitude one

c a n n o t t r a i n t h e b o d y . T h e

student is encouraged to find his

o w n w a y t h r o u g h the a r t , to

question and criticize techniques

before he accepts them, until he

feels confident that the techniques

will help him when the need arises.

The instructor's job is to guide the

s t u d e n t t h r o u g h the v a r i o u s

stages, to help him realize his

m i s t a k e s a n d h o w t o c o r r e c t

them. Hence training is carried

out in a r e l a x e d a t m o s p h e r e

a l l o w i n g the s t u d e n t to t h i n k

a b o u t t e c h n i q u e s i n s t e a d of

blindly accepting them.

In writing this article I can only

give you a small idea about W i n g

C h u n , so if you would like to know

more, don't by shy, we are always

glad to have new members and

before I forget: we meet in the

Union G y m on Wednesday after­

noons, 3:00pm and on Saturday

mornings at 9:30am.

FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 9

City & Guilds

Tonight , Feb 12: D & D sold out. M o t o r C l u b Navigational Rally.

Sunday , F e b 14: Rugby Sevens. Coaches leave 9:30 Beit A r c h .

Tuesday , F e b 16: Fie ld C u p ! (SeeGuildsheet)

Thursday , Feb 18: S P T L E c t u r e , D . J . H u n t

( A W R E Aldermaston) " T h e Design of High

Power L a z e r s " , 1:00pm, Elec Eng 408.

Fr iday , F e b 19: L i n k s Carniva l . T ickets

£2.50 f r o m G u i l d s U n i o n O f f i c e . A e r o s o c

A n n u a l D i n n e r . B r i s t o l P e d a l C a r R a c e

(contact T i m Bell v ia C & G Office).

F o o t b a l l

IC I

IC II

IC III .

ic: IY ,

i t : v

IC VII *

R u g b y

IC I x IC II s

H o c k e y IC I \

Ladies \

Wednesday, F e b r u a r y 3

s R C A

s I ' C II

s Q M C II

s Guvs II

* Q M C III

i R S M II

Jezebe l is going to Cologne on Friday,

February 19, a n d for about £30 you can go too.

N a m e s to D u n c a n Batty, C h e m 2, please, for a

trip to the carnivals and beer festivals of

Co logne . Trave l will be by coach and fire

engine.

I a m looking for suggestions of destinations

of the next Rag M a g trip, and also of clues for

the G u i l d s m e n , so see me. Soccer Sixes are on

Sunday , Valentine's Day , and the winning

team each get a big kiss from Dave.

O n M o n d a y we are going to see Barry

H u m p h r i e s , so ask your soc rep if there are

any places left.

Finally, elections are on the way, so get your

names up if you are interested. Wednesday's

Broadsheet for details.

I ' C H C L P

Si Thomas (Cup)

Q M C

5-2(H) 1- 0(H)

2- 2(A)

3- 2(A) (i-0(A) 2- 4(H)

25-8(A)

29-0(A)

3- 4(H)

4- 1(A)

Saturday , F e b r u a r y 6

F o o t b a l l ( t ' L Cup Semi-Finals)

IC I vs Q M C I 2 -0(N)

IC II vs L C II 2 -0(N)

Hockey

IC I vs Hendon

IC II vs M i l l Hi l l 0-4(A)

0-0(H)

H . G . W e l l s S o c i e t y

Sports Day T h i s y e a r s mega event is to be held on

Wednesday. A p r i l 28 at M o t s p u r Park .

Events are open to a l l s t u d e n t s and s t a f f

of Imper ia l Col lege , with m e d a l s for a l l

events, t r o p h i e s for indiv iduals and b e e r

prizes.

E n t r v forms avai lab le from February 23

from I C U Office a n d C C U s .

E v e n t s i n c l u d e : 1 0 0 m . 2 0 0 m . 4 0 0 m .

hurdles. 2000m steeplechase (men) and held

events such as shot, javel in, high jump and

long jump. Coaches w i l l he provided for

travel to and from M o t s p u r Park. W a t c h the

sports page lor further details.

including demonstration

MARTINS. TAYLOR Monday

15th, February 7:30pm

Mech Eng 220

Football Thirds T h e T h i r d s feasted on the visual delights of

the gorgeous ladies' hockey team for almost

two hours! T h i s aesthetic dispaly inspired us

to decide that only ten men were needed to

s t i t c h u p s e c o n d - p l a c e d Q M C I I . T h i s

s t r a t e g y w o r k e d w e l l w i t h D a v e H a r d y

smashing an early goal into the roof of their

n e t , a n d as w e c o n t i n u e d t o a t t a c k

purposefully he twice nearly scored again .

T h e g a m e was b e c o m i n g a s t r o l l so we

decided Dave w o u l d have to be taken off. A

Q M C defender duly obl iged w i t h a tackle

from behind saving us the bother. E v e n w i t h

nine men the match was too one-sided so K e v

T e a h a n was given the easiest of tap-ins past

D u n c a n B r o w n ( t h e i r f o r w a r d s b e i n g

incapable of scoring). N e i l R e d m a y n e then

smashed the most delicate of through balls

past their hopelessly split defence, a l l o w i n g

N i c k F l a n n a g a n to take the bal l in his stride

and score wi th a searing left-footer from wel l

outside the box. In the true spirit of I C fair

p lay we a l lowed Q M C to equalise w i t h the

llukiest of headers—after a l l it would have

been terr ibly rude lo beat our hosts wi th only

n i n e m e n .

T e a m : D. Broun, (',. Herns, , V. Redmayne, M.

Powell, A'. Teahan, D. Hardy* M. Higham, S.

Lister, 1. Archer, .V. Flanagan.

Bowling O n Wednesday, February 3, two a n d a hal l

teams set o i l for Southampton B o w l to play

the last league of the Southern Div i s i on . After

a few mishaps we arr ived l ive minutes late.

Unfor tunate ly without a ladies team we

lost that game before we started. T h e C team

lost their game 3-1. In the first frame they

w e r e b e a t e n by o v e r 100 p i n s , b u t lost

narrowly in the second frame by only 20 pins.

T h e star of the team a n d of the day was J e l l '

Q u i n n w h o got three 169 scores to give h i m

his first 500+ series the hard way.

T h e B team lost 4-0 a n d in one game got a

l o w e r score t h a n the C t e a m . T h i s was

generally d i sappo int ing as we thought they

might do wel l w i t h some promis ing new

players. T h e A team through good teamwork

won 3-1 and only lost their last game by

about 20 pins.

ft Hockey Firsts

I Imper ia l made a somewhat tentative start

against a full strength St T h o m a s ' team.

Af ter twenty minutes T o m m i e s caught the I C

de fence a d m i r i n g I a n D r i v e r s t h i g h s by

convert ing a free hit from the top of the D .

W i t h thoughts of last year's close match , I C

were soon another goal behind. T h e Imper ia l

defence h u n g on a n d w i t h a minute r e m a i n ­

ing Bel l a n d ( /arms tangled wel l on the

break a n d G a r m s d r i l l e d the b a l l home

from the widest of angles. T h u s a shocked

I m p e r i a l s ide went i n t o the s e c ond h a l l

p u t t i n g he o p p o s i t i o n u n d e r r e m a r k a b l e

p r e s s u r e . T h e n a n e n t i r e l y u n p r o v o k e d

incident between F r a n k l i n and the centre

forward saw the latter receiving a yel low card

a n d w i t h i n a minute Imper ia l were 1-3 down.

W i t h St Thomas a n d Imper ia l both t h i n k i n g

the game was over, Bateson proceeded to

score 2 spectacular goals. St T h o m a s pressed

hard for the remainder of the second half but

the defence coped wel l w i th Drivers six iron

c l i p shots and R . Dodds runs.

T h e first half of extra time saw St T h o m a s

cont inu ing where they left oi l w i th both R i l e y

a n d in the second half, Coatesworth m a k i n g

stops on the line. But wi th five minutes

remain ing , just as R i l e y was ponder ing on

the technicalities ol p - l l i ck taking , St T h o m a s

scored.

T e a m : Slatter, Coatesworth, Riley, Parker,

Ay res, Rao, Franklin, Bateson, Garms, Bell

Cray.

Ladies

C o n t i n u i n g o u r t r e m e n d o u s f o r m we

completed our th i rd successive ann ih i la t i on

of the season. T h i s week our unfortunate

o p p o n e n t s were Q M C w h o w e r e e i t h e r

completely useless or s imply stunned by our

ski l l .

T h e fact that we only had nine players a n d

no goalie d i d little to deter us a n d good

( lowing play throughout the team produced

some excellent chances. W e could have had

at least a dozen a n d probably w o u l d have

done but for some fine saves from their

goalie and some slightly o i l target shooting

f r o m us ( p a r t i c u l a r l y the h a l v e s ) . O n e

u n c h a r a c t e r i s t i c l a x m o m e n t f r o m the

Page 10 FELIX, February 12, 1982

(Irlcnic allnvvd thril l In snr;ik one Imrk E)llt

(till t - l V K I M I S w;is well I Irsn y c l I.

Ic i irn: A'/////, 'jitli<\ \ l i h i n i i \ Sato, (-aiuline,

Mli.wtu ~j<> (IK h'tiren (I), Mary (2). © W a f e r Polo Q Sailing

Rugby Seconds W i t h o u t collapsible captain Sieve Hell , the

2nd X V was once again up lo lul l strength,

a n d a l t e r the u s u a l t e d i o u s t r a n s p o r t

problems, arr ived al the C i t y of L o n d o n

P o y t e c h n i c s g r o u n d s o m e w h e r e n e a r

Istanbul.

Sk i l fu l contortions in a ( h a n g i n g room

only just b ig enough to hold G a r y Pike's

attache case enabled the kick off to take place-

j u s t b e f o r e s u n s e t , a n d the t e a m s o o n

managed to gain its sea legs on a pitch that

was about as smooth as M a t t Smith ' s skin.

T h e f irst h a l f d o w n h i l l w i t h the t ide

showed the usual mixture of the average,

above average and p la in r idiculous, but we

scored a few and they d idn ' t so there!

T h e half -t ime pep talk lacked Hel l - l ike

cursing but Perv 's leg-zi l equal led E r i k a R o e

entertainment standards.

Despite cont inued hal l h a n d l i n g problems

(no. not that sort) and the ever increasing

gradient, the second hal f saw more tries IC ' s

way, more agony G a r y ' s way, more punches

Steve K i r b y ' s way a n d more desperate cries

of "pass i t ! " M i l e s Thompson ' s way, leaving

the final score at 29-0. Points were scored by

O w e n ( N o d d y , t h e s m a l l e s t p o s e r i n

Toytown) , M i l e s (2 tries). N i c B r u m m e l l (2

tries) and M a r k " D e a d E y e " H u d s o n (1 try.

1 penalty, 2 conversions).

A n d now for the report on the tube journey

home ( c o n t i n u e d , M e t r o p o l i t a n Pol ice

Records) .

T e a m : M. Thompson, O. Miles, X. Brummell,

G. Pike, M. Winsor, M. Simmons, A. Chalklen,

C. Cole, S.Kirhy, T. Carr, J. Cotton, E.

O'Connor, A. Ralph, M. Hudson. M. Smith.

Football Seconds I see too, you see n i l .

W h a t they said:

S t e v e V : I ' m q u i t e p l e a s e d w i t h m y

progress.

J o h n : D o we gerra tea?

J i m : N o w come on chaps, let's really get

stuck in .

C a p t a i n R o n a l d W i l l i a m Wiggins (rtd):

A v gorra go ta L i v e r p o o l , wack.

M a r t i n A : mumboawnoref i twasntmeionly

k i cked im jumbo.

D y c k v a n d e r V e e n m a n : W e c a n be

H o l l a n d in these nice orange shirts.

R . Paisley ( L / p o o l Manager ) : It's easier to

w i n the E u r o p e a n C u p than combat football

like that ( L / p o o l v Barnsley 1982).

K . Wolstcnholmc : There are people on the

p i tch ! T h e y think it's a l l over! It is now!

(1966 W o r l d C u p Final )

W h e n F langangan came on and scored it

was a dream. T h e n H r a t l n a d striked and U C

was deed and bure id . (The Sun)

Team: I 'eats. Burns, Curran, Beer, Griffiths,

Armstrong, Saunders, Wiggins, Rimmer, Hart land

(I), Veenman (sub Tlannagan (1), Linesman:

Chown (1).

R i m m e r : It's Q M C III in the l i n a l .

I C W a t e r Po lo C l u b coasted to an easy win

against St M a r y ' s H o s p i t a l i n their second

L o n d o n Univers i ty League game.

M o s t of our effort went into the first two

quarters, when some aggressive play from

C a s i n i (3 goals) and Hef fernan (1 goal), and

some good saves by Burnett in goal , gave us a

c o m m a n d i n g lead. T h e last two quarters saw

some mindless play, notably from Last a n d

L e a c h , who each missed easy goals, a n d from

Burnett , who watched in fascination as a shot

from the hal f -way l ine sailed past h i m into

the back of the net. H o w e v e r , a goal from

A s h w i n in the last quarter took us to a

respectable 5-1 result.

T e a m : Ashwin (CaptJ. Burnett (Keeper),

Casini, Dibden, Edwards. Gartun, Heffernan,

Last, Leach, Rodgers.

Rowing B i l l Bradbury , our sculler, managed to walk

a w a y w i t h the S e n i o r C P l a g u e c o m i n g

second overall in the scul l ing compet i t ion .

T h e Novice V I I I beat plenty ol impressive

opposition losing only to a crew that had

been rowing for at least a year longer.

The W o m e n s I V d e c i m a t e d a l l the

opposit ion that the country could offer and

managed to beat a l l the double sculls as wel l .

T h e senior C magic I V was robbed of

certain v ictory , despite a new go-faster coat

of paint, when it had its rudder r ipped out by

a submerged rock at the start.

Q u i t e a successful day in high cross winds

and sunshine.

Senior C I V : .1. Haines, V. Wtitkins. J.

Goodall, P. McDowall Hook. Cox: Sue Bowen.

\\ omens I V : '/. Park, 1). turner. A. Ball, J.

Dickson. Cox: D. Harrell.

.\nviie V I I I : A'. Ana, P. Mc.Yamara, I. I.aniplough.

I', (iamhin, I). Cliinltr. M. li/iperlain, A. Bmhingci.

ft. I.mm. (.n\: C. Scott.

Volleyball H a v i n g defeated T o t t e n h a m earlier in the

season the I C team made their way to N o r t h

L o n d o n confident of w i n n i n g this v i ta l top of

the table clash. Not even the brick which

came Hying through the window was going to

stop them. So despite hav ing a previously

untr ied penetration system, I C built up a

w i n n i n g lead in the first set only to f inal ly let

it slip 13-15. As a result it was decided to

simplify things a little which resulted in

Imper ia l rav ing away to take the set 15-4.

T h e th ird set proved to be a real cliff-hanger*

but IC h u n g on to take it 15-12, and wi th it

Tot tenham's hopes of w i n n i n g as after this

the T o t t e n h a m team just c rumbled leaving

Imper ia l to take the final set 15-4. I C ' s

victory over their nearest rivals was very well

d e s e r v e d c o n s i d e r i n g it was a c h i e v e d i n

difficult conditions (the back of the court was

only a couple of inches from the gym w a l l

w h i c h m a d e s e r v i n g i n p a r t i c u l a r v e r y

difficult for players not used to such c r a m p e d

conditions) and now gives them an excellent

chance of w i n n i n g the league.

T e a m : Peter I I . , Andy, Peter R., Man, Peter

D-L, Paul.

H i there readers! Incredib ly the team got it

together this week a n d won. Shock! H o r r o r !

( O u r shock, their horror ! ) . It's a m a z i n g how

m u c h faster ' an d dr ier , i l can be if you keep

the boat the right way up 'have to try it more

often, eh. G r ah am, , ! W e d idn ' t even break

a n y b o a t s w h i c h w a s no m i n o r feet

considering last week's orgy of destruction.

In the first race G r a h a m a n d R i c h a r d

m ^ p an excellent start from a heavi ly port

biased l ine and lead posed, a l l the way

round. T w o enemy boats, under pressure

from Pat and M i k e , co l l ided at the w i n d w a r d

mark and one of these capsized five minutes

later r o u n d i n g the w i n g mark. Ju l ian and

J i m showed great potential in a dra<*n out

rearguard action against the last Surrey boat.

^"he second race started w i t h Surrey 's

capta in watch ing from a grandstand seat on

his upturned boat. H e had opted for a L c

M a n s s tart b u t , at the c r u c i a l m o m e n t ,

discovered that his w a l k i n g on water act

needed a little more practise. K e n n e d y and

M i l l s had a great time lay ing into one of the

opposition's boats, and knocked it d o w n lo

t h i r d . M e a n w h i l e J u l i a n a n d J i m h a d

rejoined battle w i t h ' C r u s h e d C a n a r y ' and

finished their own vendetta on top.

W e finished 1, 2; 4 i n both races to w i n I he

match 2-0 (137,pts-30pts) .

T e a m : G. Kennedy and R. Tostavin, P. Mill-,

and M. Younghusband, J. Bennett and J. Redman.

ft Hockey Seconds " W h a t do you make of it H o l m e s ? "

"D i f f i cu l t to say old chap, a l l those lads

hang ing that white th ing about, they must be

m a k i n g themselves rather t i r e d . "

" F a s c i n a t i n g . I really don't know how you

do it Holmes . Some sort of punishment do

you t h i n k ? "

" A distinct possibility Watson , that young

lady on the sideline is certainly screaming

quite a lot. In fact, I would go as far as to say

that we have a dour m i d l i e l d struggle on our

hands here . "

^ 'Absolutely amazing . A n y t h i n g we can do

about i t ? "

" I ' m a f r a i d not, a l t h o u g h that S i m o n

W i t t e r chappie is p lay ing very we l l , he may

be able to do something . "

" H o w right you are Holmes . T e l l me, do

those chaps in between the white posts ever

join in.'' They look d a m n cold to me . "

'•"Occasionally Watson , see one o f them is

br ing ing up the half-t ime refreshments, in a

|i couple of minutes they ' l l start a g a i n . "

" M a r v e l l o u s Holmes. D o you think we ' l l

see any improvement? "

" I wou ld very m u c h doubt it, a l though

that S i m o n G r a y is o b v i o u s l y t r y i n g to

change the game to fisticuffs."

? "Wonder fu l Holmes , anyth ing to relieve

the boredom. "

" I say Watson , I do believe I 've discovered

a cure for i n s o m n i a ! "

T e a m : C. 'Jones, C. Bird, P. Sharpe. M.

Pilkelhley, J. Rhodes. A. Slnomer, S. Gray, S.

Witter, . V. Farmer; G. Wylie, B. Shindlei. I'mpire

Rohyn Ming/in.

FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 11

Accommodation for next year

Technical problems have once more reared

their ugly head, but 1 think that F E L I X should

have reached you on time.

However , this week an eight page supplement

o n C o l l e g e a c c o m m o d a t i o n w h i c h w a s to

have been included has had to be dropped

until next week. A l l the artwork is ready and

waiting, but because the offset-litho machine

broke down on Wednesday there has just not

been time to print it.

This supplement will be included next week

and (for those really keen to find out about

Hal ls , Houses , etc., for next year) some copies

will be available in the Student Services Offices

from Tuesday onwards.

Welfare Week

I hope you all turn up to the events organised

for next week (see centre pages). I'm glad N i c k

Pyne , I C U Welfare Officer, has chosen a fairly

light hearted approach (just read some of the

articles!) and I think Welfare Week could be

very entertaining as well as informative.

M i n d you I'm getting a bit tired of all these

"weeks" . I think people who organise events

should try to avoid packaging a few random

l e c t u r e s t o g e t h e r a n d l a b e l l i n g t h e m

S i l l y t w a t s w h o g e t r i g h t u p m y n o s e W e e k or

whatever. The only effect of doing so is to

draw attention away from their o w n and other

(possibly more general and important) causes

like student welfare.

Credits

A special thank you to Sid Stevens of Mistra l

Print for his technical advice.

Further accolades for my regular crew:

Steve, Soheel , Ramz i , Carol ine , Peter, M a r t i n

S. , Pallab, Lesley, J o n , J e z , M o and all the

collators, M a z and Ian.

If you are reading this on Fr iday morning

there is a good chance that most of the above

people stayed up until very late this morning to

get it to you.

Finally a thank-you to N i c k Pyne for helping

so m u c h on his welfare spread and to Er ic

Jarvis for pasting up the College A c c o m m o d a ­

t i on G u i d e ( w h i c h u n f o r t u n a t e l y w i l l not

appear until next week).

•

Saturday, February 13

•Cross Country club—Southern Counties Cham­

pionships at Parliament Hill Fields. Note: important

event.

Sunday, February 14

•Chaplaincy communion service, 10:00am, Consort

Gallery.

•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR.

Monday, February 15

• H a n g - g l i d i n g c lub meet ing , 12:30pm, above

Southside Bar.

•Badgesoc meeting, 12:45pm, lounge above Southside

Bar.

• T M soc meeting, 5:30pm, Huxley 411. All meditators

welcome. ....

•Railsoc talk by Mr Prigmore on 'Tramcar Technology

of Yesteryear', 5:40pm, Maths 340. All welcome.

•Wellsoc proudly present by popular demand, the

return of Wellsoc hypnotist, Martin S. Taylor, 7:30pm,

ME220. Entry by membership.

•Dancing club advanced class, 7:39pm, JCR.

Tuesday, February 16

• Boardsai l ing club meeting, 12:30 and 6:15pm,

Southside Upper Lounge.

•Catholic mass and lunch, 12:30pm, Chem 231.

Nominal charge for lunch.

•Labour club meeting, 1:00pm, Elec Eng 1207.

• S T O I C broadcast , 1:00pm, J C R , Southside T V

Lounge, Souths ide , Beit, L instead and Weeks

Halls. A review of plays in London: On the Razzle,

Can't Pay Won't Pay, Anyone for Dennis, Pass the

Butler, Arms and the Man, followed by Top Ten record

charts.

•Mopsoc lecture 'How real is the de brogle wave' by dr

L. Mackinnon from the University of Essex, 1:10pm,

Physics LT2 (level 1). Free to members, non-members

lOp (membership 60p).

•Department of Humanities presents:

1. Films: The Private Life of the Fox; The Private Life of

the Cuckoo, 1:15pm, Read Theatre, Sherfield.

2. The Origins of Astronomy

Pt 1: Babylonian and Egyptian Astronomy, 1:30pm, Dr

M.A. Hoskin, Churchill College, Cambridge, 1:30pm,

Pippard Theatre, Sherfield. Arranged by IC Hellenic

Society.

•IC Amnesty group meeting, 5:30pm, Green Comm'

Rm (top floor. Union Building).

•Wine-tasting society tasting a selection of wines from

Alsace, 6:00pm, Union SCR.

• M e t & M a t s o c i e t y e v e n i n g l e c t u r e 'The

Development of the Loudspeaker' byMrR.E. Cooke(KEF

Electronics Ltd), 6:00pm, RSM G20.

•Socia l is t society meeting: debate on abortion

between Women for Life and National Abortion

Campaign, 6:30pm, Green Comm Rm.

•Astrosoc lecture, Dr Enge! speaking on 'Astronomy

from High Altitude Balloons', 6:30pm, Physics LT2. Free

to members.

•Deputy President of the Union, Barney McCabe,

will expalin the mysteries of Intel's Analogue processing

chip (the 8022), 7:00pm, Huxley LT 145. Organised by IC

Micro Club.

Wednesday, February 17

•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR.

•Astrosoc observing meeting, 3:30pm, 'Waveguide',

Physics Building (level 1).

•J£ trampoline society meeting, 5:30pm, Courtauld

"H&TI, Q E C , Campden Hill Rd.

•Environmental society presents Lord Melchett and

an N F U representative discussing 'Countryside

Conservation: Conflict or Co-operation', 6:00pm, 213

Huxley. To be followed by wine and cheese reception in

48 Princes Gardens. Members 50p, non-members £1.

•Dancing club intermediate class, 7:30pm, JCR.

Thursday, February 18

•Postgraduate group ploughman's lunch, 12:30pm,

Union Concert Hall, £1.00. Tickets availble from Union

Office.

•Scout & Guide club photography talk, 12:30pm,

Mines 303. Regular Thursday meeting.

•Christian Science group meeting, 1:00pm, Seminar

Room, Level 2S, Botany.

•Lecture on High Power Lasers, 1:00pm, EE508.

Free.

• S T O I C Newsbreak, 1:00 and 6:00pm. usual places,

see Tuesday.

• I C C N D presents Frank Allaun MP 'The Labour Party

and Disarmament', 1:00pm, Maths 213.

•Department of Humanities presents:

1. Film: The World at War (Thames TV)

Pt 15: The Reckoning, 1:15pm, Great Hall.

2. Lunch-hour Concert

Erika Klemperer (violin) and Alan Porter (piano),

1:30pm, Music Room, 53 Princes Gate.

•Gliding club meeting, 5:30pm, Aero 254.

•IC Christian Union A G M , 6:30pm, Huxley 340. It is

vital that all members attend for the meeting to be valid.

Wodge was invited to a wine and cheese party

in the maths faculty last week, which was

attended by the usual mixture of pure and

applied mathematicians. For those who are

new to this co lumn, I should point out that pure

mathematicians are perfectly truthful, whereas

app l i ed mathemat i c ians invar iably l ie, and

Wodge amused himself by letting each of the

ten people present make one statement about

the o t h e r s , a n d t h e n w o r k i n g o u t w h o

belonged to which department.

L e n was the first to talk to Wodge. "If the

head of department is appl ied , " he said " then

Michae l is pure, but N i c k is appl ied." " O n the

o t h e r h a n d , " p u t i n O l i v e r , " t h e h e a d of

department is pure if and only if Peter is

applied and Quent in is pure . " " D i d I hear you

mention Peter?" asked Richard . "If he and I are

both applied then Michae l isn't, but if either of

us isn't, then he i s . " "If you want to know

about M i c h a e l , I'd have a few words with

S tephen , " said N i c k . " Y o u can believe at least

one of t h e m . " " D i d I h e a r y o u m e n t i o n

Stephen?" asked Quent in . " H e ' s friendly with

L e n and Oliver , and at least one of the three is

appl ied . " " H o w can you mistrust Ol iver? "

exclaimed Michael . " H e ' s as truthful as I a m ! "

"If I'm a pure mathematic ian," said Tony ,

" t h e n S t e p h e n , L e n a n d t h e h e a d o f

department are not all appl ied."

" H a v i n g trouble?" asked Peter helpfully. "If

in doubt , guess pure, since over half of us are

truthful . " " O n the contrary , " said Stephen.

" O v e r half of us are untruthful."

Having elicited one statement each from nine

of the ten present, Wodge went over to talk to

the head of the department. Unfortunately

he was rather the worse for wine, and Wodge

couldn't get anything coherent out of him at

all . N o t that it mattered, of course, since he

had already deduced that who is what?

Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the

FELIX Office please. There is a prize of £5

(donated by Mend-a-Bike) for the correct

solution randomly selected at 1:00pm on

Wednesday.

Last Week's Solution

Seven triangles or six neighbours, according to

taste. There must be a line from the obtuse

angle, dividing it into two. A n d the line cannot

continue straight through to the long side, or

else another obtuse-angled triangle is formed,

and you have to start again. S o there must be

an internal node, and there must be at least

five lines leading from it, or else one of them

must be greater than or equal to a right angle.

C h r i s Brannick , Maths 1, was selected from

the eleven who got it right.

T w o w e e k s a g o y o u c l a m o u r e d f o r

something difficult; see what you make of this

week's. G o o d luck!

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince

Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX 1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising Manager: S M Giblin.