14842703 Black Eyed Angel Part 2

8/6/2019 14842703 Black Eyed Angel Part 2

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Chapter Seven: Edward

I could not get out of the living room fast enough. Jasper felt our emotionsimmediately, but his thoughts were just laughter as I fled the room. Emmett wasstill shouting thoughts at me from downstairs.

Nice Edward! Jazz says she is totally into you. I am soooooooooooo sorry about breaking up your little piano lesson. Maybe we should move the piano into your bedroom before the next class?

I feared that I would not hear the end of this any time soon. Jasper had no doubtsensed my arousal, having Bella so close to me brought on an unexpected effectin my body. She smelled so good; I wanted to lean in and lick her neck.

I couldn't believe my own actions. I had never been so forward with a woman. There was something in Bella that was bringing out the seventeen year old in me.I was always nervous around her, I would say stupid things, I would smile for noreason other than being in the same room with her. I was still in shock that I’dhad the nerve to have her sit in my lap. The whole time I just wanted to embraceher and put my hands in her hair, my lips anywhere on her skin.

She had let me hear her thoughts. Her mind was a warm place filled with abeautiful outlook. She was a visual thinker, and the way she looked at me, the

way she remembered me, she looked at me with such adoration. I was shockedand elated. She wanted to be closer to me, she wanted to touch me, and sheknew I was listening. It was driving me crazy, having had the desire disruptedwhen Emmett and Jasper came in. Dammit Jasper! He had confirmed Emmett'ssuspicion, and they had teased me until I cursed my telepathy.

My earbuds served as a nice distraction until Alice came home wielding a new Wii. They were already bickering over what game would be played first; Alice'ssuggestion of Mario Kart was ruled out by Emmett and Jasper who voted for Houseof the Dead. I laughed and thanked the heavens for the easily distracted.

I laid back on the couch and closed my eyes, picturing Bella in my head. Her eyesstill black, not even a hint of gold yet, her hair falling down past her shoulders andher enchanting scent. A scent I could detect moving through the house, gettingstronger, she was coming upstairs. I jumped up when she knocked at the door.How would I face her? I just had to be calm, keep it light, and relax. I took a deepbreath.

"Come in."



She peeked her head in the doorway, and slowly stepped around. In her handswas a box, tied up with a blue ribbon. She hesitated for a moment, chewing herlower lip before she smiled and sat next to me on the couch.

"I never got a chance to thank you earlier."

"Thank me? For what?" I feigned ignorance.

"My room. Esme said you put in a lot of work. I really love it and I wanted to saythank you." She looked into her lap and back up at me. "I got you something."

"What? Bella, no. You didn't have to get me anything. I never mind helpingEsme, and it was easy work." I kept my hands by my side to resist the urge to runmy hands through my hair. I couldn’t believe she’d brought me a gift.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Please. Putting in hardwood floors, installing windows,sheet rock, and painting. It may have been easy, but it was still a lot of work.

Besides, Alice says you'll really like it." She pushed the box into my lap.

Sighing, I tugged at the ribbon, removed the top and picked through the tissuepaper. I wondered what she could have gotten me, curiosity burned through me.It was a stack of CD's- all Radiohead. I couldn't help but smile.

“Alice told me that you just discovered Radiohead. They’re one of my favoritebands. This is their entire discography. I wanted to share it with someone wholoves music, like I think you do- or do you really just play to pass the time?"

“It's a passion of mine,” I whispered running my finger over the CDs. "Which one

should we listen to first? Which is your favorite album?"

“Um, I'm not sure if I have a favorite." She bit her lower lip as her eyes roamedthe discs. She picked up one and handed it to me. OK Computer.

“Come,” I said taking her hand. “Let's take a drive and listen to this in my car.”

She paused, squeezing my hand. "I don't know if I want to go for a drive rightnow." She was biting her lower lip again, her eyes pleading with mine. What wasshe thinking?

“I'm nervous...” She whispered. “About going out.”

“We don't have to drive anywhere. We can just sit and listen.”

She smiled. "OK."

Her hand still in mine, I motioned to the door.

Emmett and Jasper both blew by us in a flash leaving the front door wide open.



Then Alice bounded into the room behind them. She stopped and smiled, herthoughts a blanket of music. “You must play with us."

"What are you playing?" I asked, becoming intrigued when I realized she wasblocking me.

She snatched Bella's hand away from mine, letting her fingers linger on my palmfor a beat. “Tag, and you're it."

oooOOOooo

Before I could say anything, Bella laughed and then flew out the door. Alicewinked at me and giggled, nothing but a unfamiliar song running through herhead.

Then she ran.

I couldn't believe this. We were playing tag? I ran my hands through my hair anddecided to let go and have some fun with this. I bolted out the door and I knewfrom the scents that they were all very close. Circling around to the back of thehouse, there they all were, spread out at the edge of the forest waiting to springinto the darkness. I ran toward Emmett first, he may be the strongest, but I canout run him easily. I followed him east on foot before he scaled a tree and starting jumping through the treetops. Just before I was going to jump up and follow him, Iheard something above me.

Edward, what are you doing down there? Alice spoke in my thoughts.

I started to climb up, but Alice had already sprung to the next tree. She andEmmett shot down to the ground and took off toward the river. I jumped downonly to see Jasper standing about one hundred feet away to my right with awicked grin on his face. I sprang forward and he ducked and rolled out of the way,throwing himself into a crouch. We circled each other, both trying to fake theother out with false starts. I finally shot straight forward at him, chasing himtoward the river.

I followed and stopped at the river bank, spotting Jasper a little ways down staringat the water, which was calm, except for one ripple.

Jasper looked at me and thought, She's in there.



I could hear Alice and Emmett from behind me, Alice snickering and Emmettshouting, “Go get her!”

Bella. She was in the water. I heard Alice's voice in my head.

Take a look at this

A vision flashed in my head, it was dark, and everything around me seemed to bemoving in slow motion. It was under the water- Bella had the most intense look onher face, she was looking down into the darkness and I swam up to her, lockingmy arms around her and then she kissed me.

I didn't need to see anymore. I ran up to where the ripple started and jumped in. I

could see surprisingly well in the dark, but I couldn't hear Bella and I couldn'tsmell her under water. This would be tricky. What was it about this woman that Iwas uncontrollably drawn to? My mind was consumed with Alice's vision,panicking, I swam in a frenzy. What if she’d gotten out of the water? I wasplanning to circle around, swimming to the left, until I heard her voice in my head.

You’re getting warmer.

Bella to the rescue.

That was all I needed to hear. I started swimming toward her the second that first

syllable came into my mind. I swam up to see the pale of her skin glistening in themoonlight. She was just below the surface, her hair spread out around her, hereyes focused on me. Without breaking her gaze, I slowly wrapped my arms aroundher and thought of Pyramid Song

I jumped in the river and what did I see?

Black eyed angels swam with me

She put her hands on my face and I heard her voice again.

I'm no angel.

But she was... She was a beautiful black eyed angel.

Edward, I can hear you, I can hear your thoughts.

The look on her face was one of confusion, as though there were a millionthoughts running through her head, but suddenly I couldn't hear them anymore. The shield had given her the ability to hear my thoughts, and my mind circledaround in reaction, but I just couldn't put any effort into thinking about it. I pulled



Bella close to me and put my forehead onto hers. I focused on the way she mademe feel- I wanted her to feel this, I wanted these emotions to rip her shield apart.

She pulled away and gave me that incredibly intense look I had been waiting for.She brought her lips to mine with such great force that she pushed me backwards

in the water. When I felt her push her body against me, my body reacted, holdingher tighter. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I ran my hands throughher hair as she kissed my jaw and neck. All I could feel was bliss, and I could hearher thoughts again. Her mind was a swirling pool of single words.

Perfect… Edward… closer…touch me… kiss me…

She then started thinking about Pyramid song, remembering it perfectly. Shebrought her head to my chest and let me listen to the song in her head. We layunderneath the water holding each other, locked in this moment by a perfectsoundtrack. She lifted her head and looked into my eyes once again and mouthed

the words to the song.

There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt.

Chapter 8: Edward

Bella and I swam to the bank of the river and made our way to a large rock, sittingin silence. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many questions Iwanted to ask her. I was taken aback by the peaceful silence between us; asmuch as I longed to hear her thoughts at this moment, I found the quiet soothing.It was so rare for me to experience silence with someone sitting next to me that Ihad almost forgotten what it felt like. I looked up to the moon, which was rapidlysetting. Morning was upon us. Alice's voice entered my head, reminding me that Iwould need to head home soon for school. I looked to Bella. She had laid downwith her back against the rock, her eyes closed, her wet hair clinging to her neck.I could see the small scar where she had been bitten. I couldn't help but thinkwhat an amazing creature she was; beautiful, thoughtful, and yet still a mysteryto me. She opened her eyes, staring up at the sky.

“Is the silence uncomfortable for you?” she asked.

“Quite the opposite.” I replied, smirking.

She propped herself up onto her elbows. “Really? I was under the impression thatyou couldn't stand it.”



I grinned at her. “It's true that it makes me anxious, but I’m trying to appreciatethe silence. I have never experienced this kind of quiet; it is still quite odd forme.”

I paused, meeting her still-black eyes, still shrouded in hunger. “I need to getback soon. School...” I stood up and held out my hand to her.

She rolled her eyes, but took my hand and stood next to me. We ran together,slowing as we approached the house. As I opened the door for her, she smiled inresponse.

“Thank you. I guess I’ll see you after school,” she said, then ran toward her room.

I raked my hand through my hair, having no interest in our tedious school routine.I got myself ready then told Emmett he could drive today. He was surprised, sinceI always drove, but today I wanted to sit in the back and think; to revel in thememory of my kiss, to recall her lips on my skin.

Unfortunately, Emmett's questioning thoughts were distracting me. He wanteddetails.

Come on, Bro! You gotta give up some details. It must have been good, you havebeen smiling all morning.

Eddie and Bella sitting in a tree...

I reached over and smacked him in the head.

Jasper didn’t say anything or think it either, but he was relieved to finally havesome "good vibes" coming from me.

Rosalie just kept thinking: It's about damn time. Maybe now, he’ll lighten up a bit.Alice was the only one who didn't pry- she was proud of herself. I could see nowthat her little game of "tag" had been a set up. She was currently concentratingon Jasper making sure that he would be able to maintain his composure at school.

My day dragged on without end, I sat in each class and didn't even pretend to payattention. My mind was consumed with Bella. She was able to hear my thoughts.Was it just last night? Had she heard my thoughts before? During our pianolesson? I began to race through my memory. What had I been thinking about? Ifelt so confused and self-conscious. I was a hypocrite for feeling this way, as Icould hear everyone else's thoughts, and gave no one privacy- except for Bella

and that wasn't by choice. Lord knows I would have been reading her thoughts if Icould have.

Bella… She had let me in, given me her inner most musings willingly. There hadbeen four occasions where she had opened herself up to me, given me a taste of her mind; it made me hungry for more, starving for more.

I couldn't stop thinking about her, her hands underneath mine as we playedmusic, her need to be close to me, her lips, her kiss… I was counting the seconds



before I could return home to see her again. I contemplated running home rightthen, but I was torn. Did she feel the same way about me? Was she thinking of meat all? Could my feelings be unrequited? I was beginning to feel apprehensive.What would I say to her? I felt my phone buzz in my jacket pocket- a text fromAlice:

Blood typing in Bio. Meet you at the car.

Yes! They were testing each student's blood type in Biology, my last class of theday. None of us would go to Biology today as it was too much of a risk. I wasn'tgoing to stick around and wait at the car, I was going to run home. I hit reply:

Meet you at home

oooOOOooo

Bella

I’d retreated to my room after we’d gotten home, staying hidden there until after

everyone left for school. I had a feeling that they all knew what had happenedbetween Edward and I last night. Alice had told me that this family kept no secretsfrom each other; it was damned near impossible with Alice and Edward around.

I looked at the bare walls of my room, I would have to paint them soon. I went tofind Esme, she and Carlisle were in the living room watching the news.

“Good morning, Esme, Carlisle.” I said, gliding across the room and putting myself down on the love seat.

Esme smiled. “Good morning dear.”

“I was wondering if you had any ideas for my bedroom walls?”

“I hadn't thought about it. I was hoping you would decide.”

“No, I haven't decided yet. So many possibilities... I’m sure something will cometo me. No work today, Carlisle?”

“Night shift later on this evening. Actually, I was hoping we could use this time totalk.” He turned off the television and sat up in his chair.

“Sure, was there something you wanted to discuss?” I asked nervously, hoping hewasn’t going to pry about what happened in the river last night.

“I wanted to ask you about when you were turned.” He paused and took Esme’shand. “You mentioned the appearance of some rather large wolves. Could youtell me about them?”

I swallowed, and tried to think back. “I heard them before I saw them, when Ilooked up, I thought it was a bear because of its sheer size, but after a few



seconds I realized that it was a wolf. More of them started to quietly emerge fromthe trees, four or five of them, I think… The vampire froze when he saw them,taking deep breaths and he looked as though we was going to be sick, like he wasterrified. The wolves had started to surround us and the vampire made a run forit. It was as if the wolves didn't even see me, all of their focus was on him... Assoon as he ran, the wolves followed. It was surreal. I don't really remember too

much after that, besides the burning.”Carlisle said nothing. He looked concerned, yet he did not speak.

“Carlisle, knowing now what I am and what we are capable of... I am puzzled whya vampire would run from wolves. Surely, these creatures are no match for us. The one who turned me, he just stopped drinking from me and ran. I have neverseen one of us break from away from feeding like that. It doesn't make anysense.” I hadn’t given it that much thought before. I could take down a bear if Ichose, with no fear of being injured. Carlisle’s sudden tension made me feeluneasy.“I believe they may have been werewolves,” he said.

“Werewolves? They actually exist?” I asked, my mouth hanging open.

I sat back questioning myself; we are vampires, I suppose I had no place toquestion the existence of other mythical creatures.

“I am afraid so. As long as there have been vampires, there have beenwerewolves. They are our natural enemies. I am glad to say that most of themwere killed off by the Volturi a very long time ago. One of the Volturi guards fearedthem and made it his mission to destroy them all. Where did this happen?”

“Right outside Portland, Oregon. Did you say The Volturi?” I asked.

“Yes, do you know of them?” He seemed surprised.

“I’ve heard stories, rumors really. I chalked it up to a fable. I didn't think theyactually existed either...”“Bella, I know that you had no guidance when you were changed and I feel it ismy duty to tell you some things of grave importance. First, werewolves are adefinite threat to vampires. They attack in packs and can overpower us. You musttell me at once if you ever encounter one. You will know if it is truly a werewolf forits smell will sicken you. They smell like rotting garbage to me. Second, I need to

give you a little history of our family. This is not the first time we have lived inForks. We lived here a very long time ago and we encountered werewolves on theQuilluette Reservation. We were hunting when we came across them and theywere in their human form. Their chief was very open minded when I explainedabout our diet. He was exceedingly trustworthy and valued our honesty and ourway of life. We signed a treaty together. As part of that treaty, we must nevertread on Quiluette land. They will attack if we do. I will show you the boundaryline, but you need to stay away from there at all costs.”



“Now, The Volturi.” Carlisle continued, “I know of the stories that have been toldabout them, but you will never have to worry as long as you follow two rules:Number one, never reveal yourself as a vampire to anyone. Our secrecy is veryimportant to The Volturi, they will go to great lengths to protect to our way of life.Second, they will not tolerate the creation of an immortal child. Pleaseunderstand, Bella, The Volturi are not evil, as they are sometimes portrayed, but if

one of these rules are broken, they will react. They will punish first and askquestions later.”

“What kind of punishment?” I asked.

“There is only one punishment. Death.” Carlisle said.

“Death? For an immortal. How?”

“There is only one way-to be ripped apart and burned.” As he sighed and leanedback in his chair, Esme looked from him to me. “Do you feel like a run? Esme and I

could show you where the boundary line is, it’s not very far. We should haveshowed it to you sooner.”

“Yes, please. I need to know where it is, I wouldn't want to hunt on their landaccidentally.” I said. We all rose from our seats and went to the door, and Carlisleled Esme and I through the woods.

We ran about thirty miles west, and I was shown the boundary lines that we werenever to cross.Our run home was at a slower pace. I asked Carlisle about my eyes, wonderingwhy they were still black. He explained that starvation cannot kill a vampire, but it

could bring on physical side effects, possibly causing our physical appearances tochange in various forms. He did not believe that I withheld long enough to do anypermanent damage, but it would just be a matter of time before my eyes wouldturn to a golden hue like the rest of the Cullen family. There was also my skin; itwas paler than it should be, almost white. Again, Carlisle theorized that it wouldreturn to a more natural pale color after more time had gone by. He thought it wasa good idea for me to hunt as often as possible in the meantime, claiming it wouldquicken the healing process. We decided to hunt before we headed home, and rannorth almost to Canada before we stopped. Esme explained that sometimes wemust go far to hunt, as not to encroach on the animal population close to home.

We fed on moose, before heading back, running most of the way. A few miles fromhome, I slowed down. I had a few more questions for Carlisle.

“I was wondering if you could tell me more about your friend who shares my gift.”

“Ah yes, I was sure that you would ask sooner or later.” He smiled and tookEsme's hand as we walked. “Unfortunately, I don't have much information to giveyou. The man I knew was one who valued his privacy. He had worked for TheVolturi for a number of years as a guard. The coven leader, Aro, believed that a



Shield was a very powerful gift. I’m sorry, but I do not know much about themechanics of it. I will try and find out as much as I can.”

“How would you study such a thing?” I asked.

“I have roamed this earth for more than 300 hundred years. I have met many of our kind and I have made many friends. The information could be out there, and

now that you are part of our family, I am very curious myself. What can you tellme?” he inquired.

“Honestly, I didn't even realize that I had a gift. I wandered most of the time,crossed paths with a coven of three vampires in southern California. Two of themwere somewhat welcoming, but the third refused to speak to me. He would stareinto my eyes and then become defensive and angry. He called me a shield andinsisted that I leave immediately, and I did as he asked. Before leaving, his matepulled me aside and told me that he possessed the gift of mind manipulation. Hecould make others do things, see things and feel things by merely looking intotheir eyes. He tried many times on me, but I was always unaffected. She told me

that shields can be pushed away and used to protect others, but that I shouldalways protect myself first and foremost.”

Carlisle sighed. “You should ask Edward to help you test it. It is good to know whatyou are capable of and I think he would appreciate the chance to get inside of your head,” he laughed.

The thought of Edward made me smile. Esme came to my side, “Don't worryabout Edward. It’s going to take some time for him to warm up to you. He’s veryprotective of our family, and is cautious of you, because he can't read you.”

“I'm not worried about Edward. We had a bit of a break through. I pushed myshield over him and let him listen to my thoughts. I am hoping that he will grow toappreciate the silence.”

Esme and Carlisle looked at each other.

“I never thought of it that way,” Esme said.

The house was in sight. We ran to the front yard and my smile widened. Edward'sVolvo was parked out front.



Chapter 9: Bella

Once again, I was hiding out in my room. I could hear music coming from upstairsin Edward’s room. Radiohead- he must be listening to one of the CD's I gave tohim. Part of me wanted to join him, but I felt nervous and awkward after lastnight. I wish I knew how he felt about me. I knew that I was beyond attracted tohim physically, but there was something else, something so much more that Icouldn’t explain. When I looked into his eyes last night, I felt like I was lookinginto his soul, and I had let him look into mine. It was the most intense thing I hadever experienced.

I could hear Alice outside the door.

“Come in,"” I called out.

My door opened and Alice and Jasper walked in, Alice glided over to me lookingsomewhat confused.

“I am going to have to teach you a thing or two about fashion Bella. I'll be in thecloset.”

She rushed over and came out a few seconds later handing me a navy bluesweater and a pair of black jeans.

“Blue is Edward's favorite color and it is going to look really good on you,” shesaid, and then sat on the bed, with Jasper next to her.

“Well, don't just sit there! Go! Change! Edward is right upstairs and he is listeningto Radiohead. Your favorite...”

I hesitated. I couldn't do it. I felt like a coward, like a scared little girl freaking outover a crush.

“Come on…” Jasper teased, smiling at me. “Do you need a little extra confidence?I could throw some your way.”

I laughed. “No thanks. No manipulation today.”



I walked to the bed and sat down, looking at the clothes in my hand.

Alice put her arm around me. “Tell her, Jazz.”

“Bella, go to him,” he said softly. “I can feel what you are feeling and I can assureyou that he feels the same. You two are being silly by avoiding each other.”

Alice gave me a reassuring squeeze. The music was pouring through the walls,the melody putting me at ease. He felt the same? I was relieved, yet still nervous.My fingers itched to touch him again, his scent lingered in the room, but it wasn’tenough-I wanted more. There was only one way to get it, by going to him.

Jumping off the bed, I changed in the closet. The outfit was simple and formfitting, and I really did like it. I stepped out and started walking toward the door,noticing that Alice looked excited.I slowly walked up to his room on the third floor, and found the door open. I couldsee him sitting in a chair looking out the window, admiring the beautiful view. I

stood in the doorway and waited for him to turn to me. He didn’t.

“This is a wonderful album,” he said, still facing the window.

He slowly turned and got up from his chair.

“Thank you for the CD’s, I love them. I’m not one for modern music, but this isreally good.” He was holding the CD case in his hand. “It’s so intricate, sointeresting...”

“Radiohead is amazing. Mind if I come in?”

“Sorry, yes, of course. Please, come in.” He motioned to the couch.

I sat down and he sat next to me, both of us silent until the song ended. I put myhead back and closed my eyes as next song began.

“Bella?” I turned my head to look at him, he was leaning toward me, close but nottouching. I could feel his breath on my face. “I wanted to thank you for lastnight, for letting me in. It really means a lot to me.” He placed his hand overmine, just as he did during our piano lesson, his fingers ghosting over the top of my hand. I turned my hand over and his thumb ran across my palm, my wrist, and

then my forearm. I felt as though I was radiating, and I could feel my shieldbeginning to expand and mold itself around him. As he turned to look at me, histhoughts spoke to me.

Please kiss me

I brought my hand to his face and pulled it to mine.

Feels so good...



It started softly. His hands drifted to my waist and a shiver ran through me. Iwrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer.

Feels so right...

His lips drifted away from mine and he squeezed me. I refused to focus on what Iwas thinking. I knew he could hear my thoughts. I wanted him to hear whatever

was floating around in my head, to hear me, the unedited Bella. His lips moveddesperately over my neck and shoulders. I put my hands on the collar of his shirtand pushed him back onto the couch. I leaned my head against his chest and putmy arms around him. I wanted nothing more than to be close to him, nothing elsemattered in this moment. I felt a sense of comfort that I had never felt in thisexistence.

I had come to think of this new life as my own personal hell, until my eyes metEdward's that day in the forest. I had tried to hide myself away, and I had hopedthat the guilt and disgust I felt would help me destroy myself. When Alice hadapproached me, I had wanted to run or to fight her, but when Edward had

grabbed my wrist, something inside of me had shifted. I felt an emotion that I didnot recognize. It was the same feeling that coursed through me during our pianolesson and last night in the river, and just now when he touched me. This emotioncouldn't be given a name. It was warmth, relief, a calming, a lust, a want, aneed... It was all consuming and all Edward. I could not let go of him, not that Iwanted to.

My shield was charged as it ran over the both of us, circling us in an unseenbubble. I hadn’t even tried to extend it.

He pulled away from me carefully. “You didn’t try?” He asked.

I hesitated, “Every time you touch me, my shield... It is almost as if it reaches foryou. It just happens. I have no control over it.”

He kissed my forehead. “It is not only your thoughts. It’s like a warmthencompasses me, pulling me to you.” Edward said, and then lightly kissed mycheek. "I want you to know that I have never felt anything like this. I can't stoptouching you, I want to be close to you, I can't stop thinking about you."His hands drifted up and down my back, settling in my hair as he drew in a longinhale. “You smell so good.”

My mouth trailed kisses from his ear to his neck and then his lips, soft chaste

kisses that begged to be deepened. I wanted to taste him.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered. “Look at me.”

He put his hand on my chin and guided my head away from his.

Please...

I opened my eyes slowly and saw a smile on his face.



“I may have to start calling you my golden-eyed angel,” he said with a slightchuckle.

I could see myself in his thoughts. The black had been replaced with a dullbutterscotch color. I looked like a Cullen.

His smile widened. “Yes, you do.”

Edward and I spent the entire night and morning lying on his couch, listening tomusic, talking, holding each other and kissing, always kissing. I told him aboutmy hunt with Carlisle and Esme, and about how I wanted to test my gift. We spentthe early morning hours trying a few different things, and we discovered that Icould reign in the shield while he was touching me, but it took all of myconcentration. As many times as we tried, I would always end up giving in andletting my shield engulf him. He would touch my arm innocently, and I would beable to maintain. Then he would to kiss me, and I could hold onto it, but when thekissed became intense, I couldn't help myself from letting go. My shield was no

match for Edward. It crumbled with his touch.

We lay together watching the sun come up, we had been silent for an hour. Ididn't feel the need to speak out loud. That was when I heard her voice- Alice, andher thought was as clear as a bell.

Edward! We are leaving in thirty minutes.

I jumped up.

“What? What it is Bella?” He asked looking concerned.

“I heard her, Alice... I heard her through you...” I was stunned. Edward looked justas confused.

“It seems we have a lot to learn about your gift.” He put his arms around me andsaid “Listen...”

Within seconds, I heard a light buzz. The buzz started to focus until I could hearEmmett's voice. He was stewing about losing a hundred bucks to Jasper whenthey played House of the Dead. He wanted a rematch; double or nothing. Thenthe focus changed and I could hear Esme, she was humming a song. I stepped

back, Edward was looking at me.

“Well?” He asked.

“I heard it. All of it.”



Chapter Ten: Edward:

“Edward! Let's go!” Emmett shouted.

“He's not going. Come on, it's Rosalie's turn to drive.” Alice replied, grabbing his

shoulder and pushing him out the door.

I rushed to Carlisle's study; he sensed me outside and asked me to join him.

“What's on your mind son?” He asked.

I didn't know how to start, I wasn't sure of what I was feeling. I couldn't even lookup at him.

“It's Bella...” was all I was able to utter.

She has had quite an affect you, hasn't she?

He was trying not to smile, wondering to himself what kind of advice I sought fromhim.

“I guess I wanted to speak to you about her gift.” I stammered out.

“Yes, it is an interesting ability she possesses. Has she asked for your help yet?”

“Yes, we've umm... realized a few things. She can push her shield from herself.When she extended it over me, I could hear her thoughts, and, well, we can hear

each other...”

That must have been odd for you.

“Well, Edward, this is really something. A shield can be powerful, and only timewill tell what she is capable of,” he said calmly.

I can see that you are taken with her.



I shifted in my seat as he recalled my behavior in the last few weeks, the blatantstaring, my tripped up words, if any words at all. “At first I hated her. Not beingable to read her was maddening, I would spend hours concentrating, trying tobreak into her mind. When I finally simply spoke to her, she didn't try to hideanything from me. She just let me in... And now I don't... I can't put it into words.”

I needed to say it. “Carlisle, I am consumed by this woman. I find myself thinkingof her constantly. When I saw into her mind… The beauty, the innocence, thehurt... Everything was so pure. I miss her right now, and I just left her side mereminutes ago...” I raised my hands up in question then brought them down to myhead.

It is about time. He deserves this- to find love.

Love? Do I love her?

“Wait.” I stood up, in shock. This was all happening really fast. “I feel like I hardlyknow her...”

Carlisle walked around the desk and motioned for me to sit...

“Do you remember when I brought Esme home?” He asked.

"Of course I do." I answered rolling my eyes, we all had perfect recall.

“I have seen so many humans fighting for their lives, so many people die everyday, and I’ve accepted that every mortal will die. I continue to do my best to cure

sickness and repair injuries, but I cannot act as god.” He paused, closing his eyesand picturing Esme. “However, there have been moments in my life where mydecisions were based purely on what I was feeling, instead of logic. The first time Isaw Esme, something inside me changed. I know that you never understood why Ifelt the need to change her. It was because I couldn't bear the thought of herdying; I knew I loved her. Edward, it sometimes happens this way. Look at Rosalieand Emmett; Rosalie saw something in him immediately. She didn't recognize it atfirst, but she loved him, and she loved him enough to save him. Some bonds don'ttake time to grow. Our kind has unyielding emotions, much more powerful than ahuman's. Come on, Edward, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight? It doeshappen.” He hesitated. “You look surprised...” Carlisle raised one eye brow.

“Not surprised, just overcome by her. She makes me feel so at peace, yet soafraid,” I put my hands over my face.

“Just take things slowly, you’ll figure it out.” He wrapped his arm around myshoulder. “Don't fear this, embrace it.”

“I want to tell her, but I'm afraid. This is all so new, I’ve never-“



He chuckled. Just take it slow. Let it happen and don't worry so much.

“Thank you Carlisle. I appreciate your advice.”

I stood left the room. I couldn't help but smile at his next thought.

Alice was right.

I laughed to myself. Alice... I had been so preoccupied with Bella; I hadn't put anyattention to her thoughts. She obviously saw this coming. That little pixie wasgetting too good at keeping things from me. I zipped downstairs to Bella's roomand knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Hi, Bella, what are you up to today?” I asked, relief washing over me at the verysight of her.

“I’m trying to decide what to do with these walls, but nothing has come to me yet.No school today?” She asked.

“No, I’m taking the day off,” I said as I walked toward her. She was sitting on theedge of the bed, looking at the bare walls. “I was thinking about taking a littletrip. There is a place I like to go just north of Olympic National Park. Would youcare to join me? Perhaps you could find some inspiration for these walls.” Iapproached her slowly, bending down to kiss her forehead. She smiled and tookmy hand.

“That sounds really nice. Are we leaving soon?” She asked as she rose from thebed and wrapped her arms around me in a light hug.

“We can leave whenever you’d like. I'd like to drive up and listen to some music.”I said, and she released me from her arms, looking up at me. Her eyes were dark.I put my hands to her chin. “Are you thirsty? We can hunt today, if you need to.”

She didn't answer, just continued to stare into my eyes, her fingers running up mychest. I brought my lips to hers, trying to keep the kiss soft and light. I put both of my hands on her face and caressed her skin, so soft, so perfect.

“Bella, I-" Esme said, as she entered the room; her jaw dropping when she saw us.Her thoughts were excited and scattered. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you...” Shehad a grin from ear to ear. Bella buried her head in my chest, and I couldn't helpbut smile myself.

Oh, Edward, this is wonderful. Sorry to interrupt! I will leave you two.

“Bella, I brought you some supplies for the walls. I'll just leave them here.” Sheput several bags down and left the room.



Bella shook her head and giggled. “I am ready to go when you are.”

I got to the car first in order to open the car door for her, slipping in beside herand tossing her my iPod. She browsed for a few minutes before making herselection. We both smiled as Radiohead started to play.

“What are you thinking about?” I couldn't help but ask.

“Esme... I feel like I should have told her. I hope she is OK with this,” she said andthen took my hand in hers.

I laughed. “Are you kidding me? She is thrilled. Firstly, she thinks I have beenalone much too long. Secondly, she loves you Bella. She thinks of you as adaughter and what she wants more than anything is for her children to be happy.”

“How old are you?" She asked.

“Carlisle changed me 1918. I was seventeen when he saved me.”

She smiled. “I love the way you put that. That he saved you.” She kissed the topof my hand. ‘I never would have thought of it like that, not before I met yourfamily,” she said softly, her eyes yet again drifting out the window.

I wanted to know what she was thinking, but I didn't dare ask. I was wonderingwhat she would think of the meadow. She had let me inside her head so manytimes, but I hadn't given her any of myself. I wanted her to see one of my mostfavorite places, a place that I have never shown anyone else. It was my escape

when I wanted some time alone, but I longed to share it with her.

“Penny for your thoughts,” she whispered then laughed. “Funny, you’re usuallythe one asking that question.”

I had to laugh with her. I gently squeezed her hand. “Why don't you use your giftto find out?"

She let go of my hand. “I don't want to use it right now. I feel like I am forcing iton you.” She looked down at her hands in her lap. I had upset her.

“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Please forgive my lame attempt at makinga joke. I don't mind telling you what I am thinking about and I have never felt asthough you have forced anything on me.” I said, but she looked out toward theforest. Truthfully, I was somewhat relived that she didn't use it. I was scared thatshe would hear the L word, terrified that she didn't feel the same way. I wantedher hand back in mine, and I was kicking myself for souring the mood.

“I have an idea. I wanted us to spend the day together, so that we can get toknow each other better, so I am purposing a little Q & A.”



“A day of questions?” She asked.

“Yes, we can take turns asking each other questions and we have to be honest nomatter what. What do you think?” I said and I gave her a big smile. “Would youlike to get to know me?”

A slight grin crossed her lips. “I can ask you anything?”

“Yes, and I promise that I will answer honestly. Scouts honor.” I winked at her.

“OK. Were you really a scout?”

I snickered. “Actually no, I just thought it sounded good. What about you? Are youa girl scout alumnus?”

“Yes.” She grimaced. “My mother's idea. She always insisted that I participate in

lots of after school activities. Girl scouts, dance class, soccer, karate, tee ball, youname it, I did it.” she said unenthusiastically.

“Sounds like you were pretty athletic?"

She bust out into laughter.

“What? Did I say something funny?”

When she finally stopped laughing enough to answer me she said, “I was one of the most accident prone humans. Anything athletic was a really bad idea. I was so

uncoordinated that I couldn't walk on a flat, stable surface without falling at leastonce. Thank god, I have better balance in this life.”

We drove for about an hour, asking each other very simple questions. What isyour favorite color? Where were you born? Favorite song? Favorite flower? We keptthe mood light with small talk. When we finally arrived; I parked the car of theedge of a thick growth of trees. “Are you ready?” I asked.

She nodded. I jumped out of the car and opened her door. Taking her hand inmine, I led her to the forest. “Are we going for a walk?”

“I thought we could run instead.” I arched an eyebrow and she playfully slappedmy shoulder.

“Follow me,” I said then darted into the trees. I tried to keep my pace fast, but nottoo fast. I could sense her behind me as I weaved in and out through the trees, jumping up occasionally to swing from low hanging branches. I came to a stopwhen I couldn't hear her behind me anymore. I stood for a moment and listened. Then without warning, something slammed into me, knocking me to the ground. Iheard her voice before I even opened my eyes.



“OH! Edward I am so sorry! You were running so fast, I was trying to catch up toyou. Are you OK?” She said frantically. I was lying on the floor of the forest withher on top of me.

I chucked. “I’m more than OK.” I said then lifted my hands to her face. She kissed

me on the cheek, then my lips, my chin and my neck. She kissed my lips one lasttime and sprang up.

I sprang up after her and grabbed her hand. “Come, there’s something I want toshow you. It's very close by.”

I led her through the forest toward the meadow. We ran together, jumping up inthe trees; racing to the tops. I provoked her into another game of tag, and then Iran to the meadow, sitting down in the middle. After a few moments, she brokefree of the thick woods and walked slowly toward me, looking around inamazement. The grass was high and there were patches of vibrant flowers

scattered throughout and a slight mist in the air.

“Wow, this place is incredible,” she whispered as she sat by my side, our armsbrushing up against each other.

“This is my secret place. I come here when I want to escape. I come to be alone.”I said.

She looked at me curiously. “If you come here to be alone, why did you bring me?”

I shifted my body and faced her. “You opened yourself up to me, I feel like you

gave me a part of you. Now, I want to share something special with you.”

My hands drifted over her shoulders and through her hair. She laid back in thegrass and took a deep breath, and I placed my hands down and hovered over her.Her dark eyes were smoldering as I leaned my body down and kissed herpassionately. I could feel her arms around my back, squeezing me, trying to pullme closer and I was pushing back. Our bodies began to grind up against eachother, and she wrapped her legs around me and kissed me furiously. I started tofeel her shield come over me. Her mind was fascinating- a warm, hurried streamof thoughts, with only a few words that I could make out.

More... Closer...

Bliss... Fairy Tale...

Beautiful...

Touch me... Please!

I love you...



Chapter 11: Bella

I love you...

He never broke our kiss; those words made him kiss me harder.

Bella, my angel, my beautiful angel. I love you.

Edward ran his hands up and down my body. I slipped my hands inside his shirt,wanting to feel his smooth skin against my fingers. I could feel the muscles in hisback tense, his breathing shallow. I moved my hands down, unbuttoning his shirt,

which ended up ripped down the middle in my rush to see him. His shirt hungopen and I tore my lips away from his, so that I could look at him. I pushed hisshoulders up and brought my arms to his waist.

Your body... It's perfect. You are perfect.

I must have looked silly, staring at his body, but I just couldn’t pull my eyes away. The sun was starting to come out, and I could feel it starting to warm my face.Edward reached his arm down and ran his hands from the base of my throat,slowly down my chest and stomach over my blouse, his finger dipping beneaththe fabric to circle my belly button. He moved his body down and kissed my lowerstomach. My fingers were tangled in his hair.

I love you, everything about you, your skin, your smell, I love you, Bella

I love you, Edward, I want you...

Edward's hands moved all over me; ridding me of clothes and caressing everyinch of bare skin he could touch.



I want to touch every part of your body. I groaned at his admission.

His movements became slow; his gentle fingers palming my breasts and toyingwith my nipples, making me arch my back, and making me want more.

I want to taste you... His arms slid around my thighs and he looked up into myeyes. May I?His thoughts alone were making me shiver.

Please, yes. Taste me... Take me. I want you to have my body and my mind. I'm yours...

Shuddering, he moved with an intense slowness, exploring and teasing me withhis lips and tongue. His mouth was heaven, and I couldn't help but give him softguidance with my thoughts, telling him exactly what to do until I came hardmoaning his name. His thoughts were so focused on pleasing me, my thoughts

were bursts of color every time he applied suction. I writhed, his hands graspingmy hips, pushing me down into his mouth.

Feels so good, Edward. So good...

I pulled him up, kissing him, tasting myself on him, staring up into his eyes as heran his fingers down my jaw.

I love you

We thought in unison, and both let out a small laugh.

Make love to me, Edward.

We leaned into each other, kissing and touching slowly, reverently, taking ourtime and relishing the anticipation before our bodies became intertwined. Wewere moving together in an unequalled act of love. The intensity of our thoughtswas making me feel high; our minds dancing with each other, we acted as one.Edward and I making love in this fairy tale meadow while the sun shined down onus, was the single most intense and glorious thing I had ever experienced. It wastruly dizzying.

When our bodies parted, my shield snapped back. There was a slight buzz in myhead. Edward lay by my side with his arm and leg around me.

“I almost feel like I could sleep,” I whispered.

He laughed. “Almost...”

The smile on his face refused to break.



“Can we keep asking questions?”

“Of course,” he answered.

“Why did Esme fear that you had been alone too long?”

“Because of the rest of my family... They’ve all found someone that they want toshare their lives with and I've always been alone. I never found anyone I wantedto be with, not until I met you,” he answered before kissing me.

“Never? Surely you have had a relationship before...” I trailed off. There had to besomeone, he was so attractive and funny. How could there not be?

He shook his head. “No…” He hesitated. “When I meet people, I have learnednot to be fooled by the words they speak. I can hear in their thoughts who theyreally are. I’ve never been attracted to another, and never wanted the act of lovewithout experiencing the emotion first. But you… You extended your shield to

make me feel more at ease and I did, but what I saw inside your mind was warmthand selflessness and you- pure, yet flawed, beautiful inside and out. I have neverencountered anyone like you, and I have never given myself to anyone, but you.”

We laid in the tall grass of the meadow asking and answering each other’squestions for hours. Edward was funny and smart, and he had so many storiesand an amazing crooked smile that I never wanted to see leave his face.

We eventually headed back to the car.

“I have another question for you,” Edward said, smirking. “Every so often, I hear

something in your thoughts about this fairy tale. What is that about?”

I laughed. “How do I explain? Well… My past as a vampire was so dark, so hardfor me. I never thought I could be happy with what I am. Then, you and Alicefound me, and I was thrust into a world that I never knew existed. A life filled withhappiness. I sometimes look around and think maybe I'm dreaming, maybe I'vefallen into a hunger induced hallucination of this fairy tale with loving parents anda prince charming. This all seems surreal to me sometimes.”

We laughed, but suddenly the changing wind had my hand clutching at my throat.It was burning; venom was dripping from my mouth. I froze. A human... I could

smell it.

“Don't breathe,” he warned as his hand tightened around mine.

I nodded, refusing to take in anymore air. The muscles in my legs were shaking asthe desire rose in me.

Edward took my chin in his hand and pulled my head up. “You can do this. Focuson me. Look at me.”



I focused on the color of his eyes; the color I wanted so badly for my own. Edward.I chanted, Edward. Do this for Edward. Do this because it is the right thing to do. Icannot take another life, another soul. I can't. I won't! The sweet aroma from thelast time I inhaled still lingered in my nose, teasing and taunting me.

I wanted to speak, but I couldn't stop gritting my teeth, and I didn't want to openmy mouth.“I've got to get out of here. Please, Edward. Let’s run to the car. Please!” I spat outthe words.Edward pulled my hand, but when I tried to run, my legs felt shaky, and I fell tomy knees. Without breaking stride, Edward scooped me from the ground andcarried me. I curled myself up into a ball huddled close to his chest, closing myeyes and refusing to breathe. He ran so fast that our surroundings were flashingby me, and the next time I opened my eyes, I was in the passenger seat of hisVolvo. As soon as I turned, he was right by my side. I opened my mouth tobreathe. The scent was gone. Thank god! I threw my head down and sighed.

“Are you alright?” he asked, grabbing my hand has kissing my knuckles.

“I'm OK now." I took several deep breaths. “I guess I better start getting used tothat.”

I shuddered, as a nagging part of my brain screamed at me to run, to follow, tofeed.

“They caught us off guard. I don't think it will be so bad once you've had morepractice. You should be hunting more often. Don't let yourself get too thirsty,” he

suggested, rubbing my arm.

He was right, I was thirsty. I couldn't let this happen again. I must be satisfiedbefore going out.“Take me home," I whispered.

“Don't worry. It will get easier. It takes time to strengthen your control.” he said,putting his hand on my face. He leaned in, kissed me, and whispered, “I love you.”

Just then his phone buzzed. He reached for his pocket before realizing it was in theconsole of the car, and picking it up.

“Alice...”

Edward had left his phone in the car while we were gone, and Alice had seen thatwe might encounter a human and tried to call many, many times to warn us.Edward reassured her that everything was fine, telling her that I had done verywell and hadn’t tried to pursue them. He flattered me with his comments. Thefeelings that had coursed through me when I caught that scent were disgraceful;the burning, the venom gushing over my teeth, my urge to drink. I had to admit,



the craving was not as strong as before, and I had Edward to focus on. He rescuedme from the demon, distracting me in the best way. I closed my eyes as we droveaway.

Although we didn’t speak for a while during the drive, it was truly a comfortablesilence. I occasionally looked over to Edward, he looked so happy, his eyes wide

and his smile radiating.I decided to expand my shield and listen to his thoughts; he was picturing my facewhen I entered the meadow and my voice.

I want you to have my body and my mind. I'm yours...

His thoughts shifted into a fuzzy recollection. The river... He was looking up at me,marveling at me under the water.


I put my hand on his leg and started thinking about him, and I was sure that hewas listening.I thought about our piano lesson. Edward laughed when I remembered Emmettinterrupting us.

“I have one more question for you.” I said, pulling my shield back in, hoping tocatch him off guard.

“Ask away,” he replied with a grin.

“I guess it's not really a question, it’s more of an invitation..." I hesitated, but

decided to ask anyway, as I really wanted to see his reaction. “If you'd like towatch me dance, please join me in the garage. You don't have to spy through thewindow.”

He immediately looked forward and for a few moments he wouldn’t look awayfrom the road. Twice he opened his mouth to speak, but he just didn't. I startedlaughing.

He smiled shyly. Oh no! I had embarrassed him!

He looked at me with a grimace and said, “I'm sorry. I was curious about you, and

then once I saw you dance, I couldn't stop watching. You are amazing. I love theway you move.”

He looked back to the road. I took his hand and smiled, grabbing his iPod andlooking through the music.

“There should be a pretty good variety. Alice put a bunch of new music on therefor you.” Edward said.



I started scrolling through the artists. Ahhh... “This is Starter” by The Cardigans.I played the song and sang along.

This is a start that I know I'll believe in

so I'm leavin' everything behind Keeping the partsthat I know I'll be needing

and I breed to be a better kind And I'm leavin' everyone behind

This is the agewhen my past should be gone

but it's just stronger than the aims I have Turning the pagesI used to hang on to

I was young and I have changed my mind And I'm leaving everything behind

New beginning againa bit closer new beginning again

a little bit closer New beginning againa bit closer to the end

This is the timeit's a delicate line

to the beginning of what's yet to comeLifetimes of changesa strange generation

explanations never come in timeSo I'm leavin' everything behind



Chapter 12: Bella

“It will be fine, Bella,” Alice said as she flitted over to the couch and sat next to Jasper. ”I’m seeing it very clearly. We’ll be leaving early, so we should go huntsoon.”

We had planned my training, deciding to leave in the morning for Mt. Rainer tohike and camp on Saturday and Sunday. Everyone was going, and I was nervous.Alice, Jasper, and I had decided to leave first. We ran to the north and fed onwhatever we came across. I glutted myself on several deer and an elk. Alice and Isat and waited for Jasper, who was chasing a cougar.

“I need to ask you a favor,” I said. She looked back at me and smirked.

“Yes, I’ll help you test you gift," she answered.

“I don't know if it means anything, but I could hear Edward's thoughts when Ipushed my shield over him.” She closed her eyes and then looked at mecuriously.

“Try to push it over me,” she said.

I pushed my shield over her quite easily, finding it was taking less and less effortthe more I practiced.

“Do you feel any different?” I asked.

“No, not at all,” she answered.

Edward had mentioned that he felt warmth and comfort when I shielded him.Obviously, I wasn't getting the same response from Alice.

Alice looked at me and said, “I want you to close your eyes and think abouttomorrow. Think about Mt. Rainer, really focus.” We both closed our eyes. Ithought about training. I wondered what would happen. We kept at it for a fewminutes, but nothing happened.

“I don't see anything,” I said with a sigh.

Alice grabbed my hand. “Let's try again. Don't let go of my hand.”

We focused again. I squeezed my eyes shut and began to think about our trip, andthat I wanted to see what would happen. My hand started to tingle, and I almostlet go, but her hand became tighter around mine. All of a sudden, there was aflash in my head, and I could see Edward, looking concerned; his brow furrowed. Then the view changed, and it was me... My stance was deliberate, and I was notbreathing. Everyone was around me, waiting for me to make a move, but I didn't.



I became somewhat more relaxed and a smile broke from my lips.

“Alice! I saw it!” I jumped up. “Oh my God, I saw it.” I paced around. “What doesthis mean? My gift... Is a shield supposed to do that?”

“Honestly, I don't know what a shield is supposed to do, but this is really amazing.

You could see the vision, but you needed to keep physical contact with me.” Alicethen quieted, and I could tell she was thinking really hard about this. “Let’s find Jasper and try something else.” She inhaled deeply before darting off into thetrees. I followed her, and it took only a few moments to find him.

After she explained to him what had happened, we went back to the house for alittle experiment.

“Let's have some fun with this,” Jasper said. “We will try with no contact first. Goahead, Bella, do your stuff.” He winked and I pushed the shield over him. He stoodfor a moment and smiled. “We have some good emotions to work with. Do youfeel anything?”

I shook my head no. He took my hand and I instantly felt a sense of compassion; Ihad the urge to give Jasper and Alice the biggest hug ever. Jasper smiled at me.

“That is Esme. She is in a glorious mood today. Let's try someone else.” He said,and then the tender feeling began to fade into an elated, jittery feeling. I wantedto move around, I felt like dancing, and I smiled without thought.

“That is my Alice,” he said smiling at her. “Now, here is where the fun starts...” Hehad an evil grin on his face. “Now, you know that I can make people feel things. Iam going to push a little um... lust over to Rosalie. To do this I have to focus on

the emotion, and then push it away from myself. It sounds similar to how youextend your shield. Here we go!”

A few moments later, Rose came running into the room. “Where's Emmett?” sheasked frantically, breathing heavily. She paused, narrowing her eyes at Jasper whowas laughing uncontrollably.

“You ass!” She yelled. Jasper let go of my hand and jumped to the other side of the room. “What the fuck, Jasper?”

He was still laughing. “I'm sorry, Rosalie. I won't do it again, I promise.”

She jumped over, smacked him, and then shoved him against the wall. “Don't letit happen again. Keep your emotions to yourself.” She left the room in a huff.

Alice and I were laughing, as Jasper turned back to us. “Well, do you want to giveit a try?”Alice was clapping her hands. “Try me! Try me!”

I took Jasper’s hand and extended the shield again, but I was at a loss for what



emotion I should try. Jasper sensed my indecision. “She is so excited right now,let’s try and calm her down. Relax your body and imagine calming waves, andthen, just like pushing your shield, push away the calm.”

It was more difficult than I thought it would be, since I was already concentratingon keeping my shield on Jasper. I started by making myself calm, and then trying

to push it away. I could feel something happening; a slight shift, but it wasn’tenough. I took a few deep breaths and really pushed. Slowly, I could feel the calmleaving me and shifting to Alice, and when I opened my eyes I saw Alice's bodylose all tension.

She sighed. “You did it, Bella, I feel nothing but calm.”

I started to shake slightly, I couldn't keep my shield extended any longer, and itsnapped back into place.

“Wow, Bella. Your shield is like a sponge, you’re absorbing powers, it’s incredible,

it is an incredible gift.” She leaned over and put her arm around me.

I looked at Jasper. "Your gift is so intense. How do you deal with it? You live in thishouse with all these emotions flying around, I only felt it for just a few minutesand I was completely overwhelmed. Oh, and that bit with Rose was priceless.”

He laughed. “If you ever notice me leaving the room abruptly, you'll know why. Ican usually maintain; if I feel someone is happy, I bask in it, and if someone issad, I’ll try to cheer them up, but when there is sexual tension or arousal floatingaround, I usually run for the door, and drag Alice back to our room.”

They looked at each other and smiled. Alice was right, there are no secrets in thishouse.



Chapter 13- Edward

I stayed in bed as Bella showered. Shifting, I pushed my face into the pillow andbreathed deeply, taking in her lingering scent. I pulled the pillow to me, huggingit and praying that the day ahead would go as Alice had predicted. We werestarting Bella’s training, and it would be the first real test of her control. I clung toAlice’s vision that Bella would prevail successfully.

I listened to the water of the shower, paying attention to how the sound slowedwhen it hit her body. Tightening my grip on the pillow, I tried to free myself of allthe possessiveness coursing through me. I had seen Alice’s visions, most endingwell for Bella but there was always the possibility of failure and I wanted toprotect her from it. I wanted to protect her from anything that would hurt her,even herself.

As the water turned off, I rolled over and tossed the pillow aside. It was almosttime to go.

We all piled into Emmett's jeep with Emmett driving, Rose riding shot gun, andAlice, Jasper, Bella and I in the back. We had reserved four small cabins rightoutside the park in a secluded area. Carlisle was working, but he and Esme would join us later in the evening. Emmett turned his hat backwards and cranked themusic up loud to show off his new stereo. Bella was seated next to me, her handin mine; she had laid my hand down flat, and then slid her hand over mine. As herfingers moved across my palm I felt a tingling and I knew her shield was on me.We tried to tune out the blasting R&B with our thoughts.

How I loved these silent conversations, to be able to fully communicate withoutactually speaking was amazing, and it made me feel so connected to her.



She was letting her mind wander, imagining herself sitting next to me in aclassroom full of students, and then at the movies. She pictured herself in a hugeballet studio surrounded by of group of dancers, she was dancing, but her fantasydidn't do her justice. When I watched her dance, her body moved so effortlesslyand was beyond graceful. I could picture her in my head; I had been looking

through the window when she was dancing to a Radiohead song- her hair down,wearing a simple leotard and yoga pants. She danced in a style that I had neverseen, possibly modern dance, but whatever it was, it fit the music perfectly and itwas breathtaking. I was still embarrassed at having been caught spying on her.

Bella looked over and leaned in to give me a kiss, and as I put my arm around herand kissed her back, her hand moved to my inner thigh.

Jasper scowled at us.

Hey! Don't even think about it. Do not start getting all worked up right now. Not

while we are in the car. Tone down the sexy vibes.

"Sorry Jazz. I forgot.'' Bella giggled.

As we drove, Bella was using her gift again. She covered Jasper and then startedthrowing emotions around. She sent Rose into a fit of laughter, she made Emmettsuper paranoid- he almost turned the car around to go back home before Jaspercould calm him down. She possessed something very powerful, and it wasfascinating to watch her explore her gift. I would have to ask Carlisle if he everfound any information in his research of shields.

Bella started giggling again, her head buried in my chest, then looked at Alice whowas trying not to laugh.

"Sorry Bella, That was not what I was looking for," Alice said.

I scanned Alice's thoughts. She was trying to foresee if anything would happenthis weekend and she got a sneak peak at a private moment between herself and Jasper. I had to laugh.

"What's so funny?"Jasper inquired.

"You'll see." Alice replied.

The ride seemed to go by quickly. Every once in a while Bella would expand hershield and listen to my thoughts and everyone else's.

Wow, Edward. All the voices... How do you deal with it?

I've had ninety years to get used to it...



Emmett turned down the music for a moment and said, "Hey, Bell, We are gettingclose. I am going to keep my window down. Be prepared."

As the light human scent drifted through the window, Bella tightened her grip onmy hand and I noticed her swallowing down the venom, but she kept her self composed, barely phased by it.

No more shield for you Edward. I don't want to waste my energy keeping it toofar from me. I want to be focused for this.

I kissed her cheek and nodded in approval. Emmett parked the jeep, he andRosalie headed out first. They checked out the area, scouting out locations andkeeping an eye out for humans. After about ten minutes, Emmett's voice was inmy head.

Edward, head north, about thirty miles.

We all walked at a human pace into the woods, but once we were out of sight fromthe road we ran to meet Emmett and Rosalie who were waiting for us in a smallclearing.

"There's a hiking trail quite close by. Six humans will be making their way pasthere soon." Emmett said. "How are you feeling Bell?"

"I'm feeling good about this. I'm ready, but please keep close to me, just incase..." She stood tall, proud, and ready.

"Let's start walking. We have two minutes before we will be able to smell them,"

Alice said.

We walked toward the path and I knew Bella could smell them. Her grip on myhand was painful.

Emmett strolled over. "Feeling like you want a snack?"

Rosalie smacked him. "We are here to help her, not antagonize her."

Bella let go of my hand. "I'm fine."

She walked over to a large tree and peeked around the side. I could hear thethoughts of two humans and I moved closer to her. She took a breath and dugher nails into the trunk of the tree, scraping down and leaving large gouges. Jasper and Emmett had both moved to my side, ready to restrain her if necessary.She stopped breathing and her hands moved in a frenzy over the scrapings on thetree. She stopped and stepped away with a smile. She had carved her name inthe tree trunk.

"You guys can relax now. I'm not going to eat them."



Jasper looked at me. She is doing good. Really good.

We wandered the forest staying fairly close to humans, but always out of theirsight. Bella was maintaining her composure, the presence of a human wasdefinitely affecting her, but she was determined to overcome her thirst. She

stopped and looked up at me.

"Do you think we could take a break from this and maybe hunt? My throat iskilling me." She looked so innocent, but bothered. My poor angel was hurting andI didn't like it.

"I don't see why not."

We ran far away from any trails, then out of the park all together. Emmett beganto laugh.

"Yes! I can smell it. A grizzly. You want it Bell?" He asked.

"You go for it, Em. I know it’s your favorite," she replied.

"But you have never tasted grizzly before. I bet you'll love it. It's a big one, it willfill you right up. Let's play for it. Paper, rock, scissors?" He asked.

"Sounds fair," she said then kissed me and quickly expanded her shield onto me.

I couldn't help it. I'm a cheater through and through. He is going to use scissors,then paper, paper.

I wanted her to win over Emmett. I wanted her sated. And... if I may, Emmetthas always been a sore loser. Having him beaten by a girl would give me somegood teasing material for later.

Emmett's scissors versus Bella's rock:

"Two out of three," Emmett said.

Emmett's paper versus Bella's scissors:

"I win." Bella said as she turned and winked at me.

"Hey, you cheated. You and your little shield, you are just as bad as Edward,"whined Emmett.

"Let's race for it. Edward can't help me run," she offered.

"You are on," he replied and without another word they both took off. We allfollowed. Bella was right behind him, Emmett was darting in and out of trees and



heavy brush trying to lose her, but she kept up with him. He stopped and lookedback. There was a human scent and it was strong, someone must be close. Ilooked at Bella who was standing still with her hands balled into fists. She lookedin the direction of the human and then ran the opposite way toward the bear. Shewas running so fast that by the time we caught up to her, she held the lifelessbear in her arms. Blood streamed down her lips and chin, her shirt was ripped

right down the middle, and her left pant leg was shredded. I walked up to her.

"You amaze me," I said, leaning down to lick the blood away.

She shuddered and pulled away. "I did it. The scent was trying to rule me, but Iwouldn't let it. I won't let it." She threw herself into my arms, and I looked downto see the bare skin of her stomach. As I placed my hands on her waist, she tooka deep breath.

"Can we take a break? I want to be alone with you," she murmured, then lookedup at me with an unmistakable look of arousal.

"Hold that thought. The others are coming."

Alice and Jasper ran up to us moments later; Emmett and Rosalie followed shortlyafter.

"Holy shit, Bell! You took it down and drained it in record time, I'm impressed.Oh, and nice shirt- is that from the bear or Edward?" Emmett laughed.

I stepped toward him, growling. "You jackass. You led her right to a human."

"Sorry, man, I didn't plan to. Who cares? She is holding her own just fine," hesaid.

Why don't you get to the cabin? You could help her get changed...

Alice came over and put her arm around Bella. "See, I told you that you would befine, nothing to worry about. Carlisle and Esme should be here by now. Let's getto the cabins and let Bella get some new clothes on."

Alice and Bella ran together. I really enjoyed watching the two of them bond. Jasper and I ran behind them.

"She is doing great, Edward. I wish you could feel the conviction coming from her.It's inspiring..." he said.

She makes it look easy. Too easy... Am I the only one who has struggled so hard?

"It is hard for all of us, Jazz," I replied.

Were you reading her thoughts?



"No, she kept her shield in for the most part. Were you picking up any emotionsfrom her?"

There was no major bloodlust. A little fear, a mass of relief once she restrained herself, and some other things... She is waiting for you and she is getting

impatient. You two are taking the cabin at the far end. Have fun!

He laughed as he ran off. I ran to our cabin and knocked, when Bella opened thedoor the look in her eyes was one that I had never seen before. Her eyes weredark and frantic. She put her hands on my shoulders, and was shaking slightly.Before I knew what was happening, I heard the door slam and I was on the floor,Bella on top of me, straddling me. She ripped off my shirt and ran her tongueacross my chest.

I need you

We tore off each other’s clothes, and she took me on the floor with wild abandon,like an animal. It was the single most erotic experience of my existence, likenothing before in the meadow. It wasn't making love. It was raw. It was primal.Her thoughts consisted of one thing. Me... She hungered for my touch, shecraved my body. It was pure desire and it was mutual. Afterward, we lay on thefloor on our backs.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered.

I sat up and leaned over her, running my hand down her jaw. "You don't everhave to apologize for doing that to me. That was, wow, um... There are no words

to describe that."

"It's just... I don't know what came over me. I feel like I attacked you." She puther hands on my chest, her soft fingers running down my rib cage.

"I suppose you did attack me," I said and grinned at her, "But I really didn't mindin the slightest." We broke into laughter; she wrapped her arms around me andbecame silent. She shifted her body to the side and I lay behind, spooning her. Icouldn't help but marvel over how smooth her skin was and how good it felt whenour bare skin met. I wasn't sure how much time had passed; it could have beenminutes or hours. Feeling Bella this close to me was paradise, I could have laid

there forever. It was as though she was an extension of me.

Usually, Bella lifted her shield when we were this close, but at this moment hermind was silent to me. She shifted her body leaving a tiny space between us. Ifelt an ache in my stomach, and I tried to pull her closer to me, but she hesitated.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"When you're this close to me, I have a hard time keeping my shield to myself. I



don't want you to know what I'm thinking about right now. I'm sorry." She movedagain, creating more space in between us.

I slowly pulled myself back from her, and I couldn't help but feel slightly rejected. There was something that she didn't want me to know, and I had no businesshearing the errant thoughts that filled her mind, yet I had never longed to read

someone’s mind so badly.

"It is all right, Bella. I understand." I gave her a quick peck on the cheek andstood up to get changed. Bella stood and we both looked to see a fresh set of clothes for each of us on the bed.

"Alice?" She asked.

"When it comes to clothes, it is always Alice. She is forever prepared to dress usall."

A knock sounded on the door.



Chapter 14- Bella

Edward opened the door, allowing Carlisle and Esme to enter the room.

“Sorry we're late,” Carlisle said. “We wanted to stop in to see how things weregoing?”

“Things are going well; Bella has done great so far. I think we are done for today,and we plan to try again in the morning," Edward said, running his hand through

his hair.

Esme came to my side and put her arms around me. “How are you, Bella?”

As always, Esme brought me a sense of comfort. I was starting to feel more likemyself already. I turned and hugged her.

“I'm fine,” I told her, sitting on the bed and looking down into my lap. Esmewalked over to Carlisle, kissed him on the cheek and said, "Boys, why don't yougive Bella and me a minute."

Carlisle nodded. "Of course, take your time. Come on, Edward, Emmett broughtthe Wii. We need to go show Jasper how to really play House of the Dead."

Edward walked over to kiss the top of my head and followed Carlisle out the door.

"Alice asked me to come and talk to you," she said, as she rubbed my back."What's the matter?"

I looked up at her. What could I say? Should I tell her that I attacked her son? That I could control my blood lust, but not my sexual desire? That I may be somekind of sexual deviant...

"Bella, what is it? You have me worried."

"I'm sorry, Esme. I just don't know what’s going on with me. I was doing so welltoday controlling my thirst. I was really proud of myself. This afternoon, I... Idon't know how to explain."

"I want to you know that you can tell me anything. I will not judge you,sweetheart," she said softly.



"Well, I sort of... Esme, has there ever been a time when you couldn't control yourdesire? I am not talking about the bloodlust, I mean with Carlisle."

A smile beamed from her face. "You know that our kind feels emotions verydifferently than humans."

"Yes," I whispered.

"Finding your mate can be overwhelming. Some say that vampires don't fall inlove, but that love just happens. Good old fashioned love at first sight, but it'smore than that. It happens in the blink of an eye and it is very intense.Sometimes, because we lack that relationship growth period, the already strongemotions during your experience are extremely heightened. I can rememberwhen Carlisle changed me... On top of being a volatile newborn, I was crazy inlove with him. He was in every one of my thoughts, and I wanted to be with himall day, every day. I could not get enough of him, and I do mean emotionally and

physically. We drove poor Edward out of the house more times than I care toadmit, and there have been many times when my desire for him got the best of me. These are perfectly normal feelings for you to have."

I finally took a breath. It made sense to me now. I knew that I loved Edward. There wasn’t a question that, for me, it had happened instantaneously.

"I love him so much that it scares me." I said and Esme gave me anothernurturing hug. "Earlier today, I just about attacked him. I was filled with anuncontrollable desire for Edward, I honestly couldn't help myself."

She smiled even wider. "Bella, why do you think Rose and Emmett or Alice and Jasper are always disappearing suddenly?" She stopped and let out a little giggle."It happens to all of us. Even Carlisle and I still have our moments; we are justmore discreet with our intimacy. Rose and Emmett were the worst. After a yearwith them, Carlisle and I bought them their own house."

I managed to giggle. "So, does it ever stop?"

"No, but it evens out with time. You find a balance. This is new for both of you. Ibet that Edward is feeling the same thing you are. You should speak with himabout this, he will understand because I know he loves you. I love Edward like he

is my own son. He has been alone for a very long time, and it is fills me with joyto see him happy and you make him happy. Don't forget, Bella, Edward is a manwith desires of his own. Perhaps you should be aware that there may come a timewhen he feels the same way you did today. As a matter of fact, I guarantee thatwill happen. Like I said before, it is something that happens to all of us when wefind our soul mate. It is a bond of the strongest kind."

Everything she was explaining began to hit me; bringing all of my fuzzy feelingsinto focus.



"Esme, could you please find Edward for me? I need to see him."

"I'll send him over, and I'll tell the others to give you two some alone time. I thinkyou need it." With that, Esme glided over to the door, and then paused to glanceback at me. "Ah, young love."

Thank god for Esme, she exuded true compassion for all things. Her words madesense to me and I knew what I needed now was Edward. I paced the floor andtwiddled my fingers. Each second without him was making me ache. He was mysoul mate- he was what made me want to live.

Suddenly, I could smell him; could hear him breathing. I knew that he was rightoutside the door, and started shaking with anticipation. The door opened andEdward stepped in slowly. Our eyes met, and something happened in thatmoment that made my shield wrap itself around him and pull him toward me. Hegasped and closed his eyes as he flew across the room to me. We held each other

and everything other than Edward and I began to fade away.

He started to kiss me, slowly, softly. It was the perfect display of affection and Imelted into him.

I love you Edward. I'm sorry for being all over the place. I wasn't prepared for how being crazy in love with you would make me feel. Right now, all I want is you. I want to float around in an unbreakable Edward and Bella bubble.

He gave me that crooked grin I love so much.

My sweet angel, before you came into my life I was lost in an existence that served no purpose and had no meaning. You don't know how long I walked thisearth fearing I had no soul.

But you do have a soul. Someone with no soul wouldn't have the ability to lovelike you do.

You brought my soul to life, you brought me to life. That is why you are my angel. Not just because of our song, but because you came to me and saved mefrom hell.

He took my face in his hands. "I want you to know something. As I hear thethings in your mind, I know that you feel the same way I do. We have the samefears, we ask the same questions." His finger traced my lip. "Would you pleaselay with me and talk to me?"

I nodded and he slid his arms around me and carried me to the bed. He gentlyplaced me down and put himself beside me.

He put his head on my shoulder and spoke softly. "I was just as scared as you are.



I spoke to Carlisle about how I feel about you and he told me not to fear this, butto embrace it. And then there was you... when we were in the river and you werethinking about our song. The way you looked at me, the words you sang to me..."


"Somehow that put everything into place for me." He kissed my neck as hespoke. "I know you worry about your gift when it comes to me. I think youalready know that I absolutely love it when you let me in, but please know thatyou don't have to all the time."

I interrupted him. "I know I don't have to, although I love the connection we havewhen we can hear each others’ thoughts."

"Bella, I used to crave getting inside your head, just because I couldn't. Youamaze me by trusting me enough to let me in, but I have come to a realization. You fill my every need, my every desire, by just being you. I think I need the

silence and you are the only one who can give that to me. You have thisincredible gift, and you share it with me. You give me the best of both worlds."

Each word he spoke made me love him even more. He needed me, just as muchas I needed him.

I do need you. I need all of you.

His fingers brushed across my thigh and I pushed myself closer to him. His bodywas calling me. God, would I ever stop wanting him this way?

Edward laughed. "I sincerely hope not. Bella, please don't worry about whathappened earlier. The truth is I love the fact that you want me so bad. It is sucha turn on. I've never experienced anything so erotic. I love everything you do tome and I want it just as bad as you do."

If you want me, take me. I'm yours...

oooOOOooo

After an emotionally trying day, I fell into what I can only think to call a love spell

with Edward. We spent the entire night in each others’ arms. The reality of my

love for him had hit me in a way that I wasn't expecting. It was another moment

when I feared I would wake up from this fairy tale dream. Edward had smirked at



the thought, looking down at me. "Your fairy tale thoughts are so cute, especially

with me as your prince charming."

The morning came upon us and I wanted to prepare myself for another day of testing my control. We would have to leave our little cabin soon and our Edwardand Bella bubble would be broken.

"We don't have to do this today, if you are not feeling up to it. Perhaps nextweekend?” he suggested.

Somehow, I wasn't worried. As a matter of fact I wanted to do this. The daybefore, I was apprehensive, but now I was looking forward to beginning a life of resistance. I didn't want to sit home all day, while the others were out thereliving. I wanted to live again...

"No, I want to do this. The sooner the better."

Again, I imagined myself out in the world, blending in with the rest of humanity,wanting that more than any human's blood. We got dressed and went to meetthe other, finding everyone waiting for us.Esme was the first to speak. "Feeling better?"

I gave her a big hug. "Yes, and thank you."

She put her arm around my shoulders and we began to walk. We had planned aday of hiking.

"Are you ready to get up close and personal?" Emmett asked. He walked right up

to me folded his hands across his chest.

"She's ready." Alice replied. "However, let us hunt before the fun starts."

She winked at me and then ran into the forest. We all followed, but I was the onlyone to drink. I wasn't even thirsty, but Carlisle insisted that I should feed before Iattempted to get close to any humans. After a few deer, we walked at a humanpace to the trail.

"Bella, you need to remember to move very slowly, humans will notice if youmove too fast." Jasper reminded me.

"If one of them tries to talk to you, remember to blink and don't go too longwithout breathing. It will be hard, but just take short shallow breaths through yourmouth." Rose added.

We walked until we reached the path. I could already smell them. Edward tookmy hand as we walked at a leisurely pace for a half mile. I could hear footstepsbehind us, and the light aroma was making the back of my throat warm. Istopped walking and took out my canteen, my human prop.



"What are you doing?" Jasper asked, his expression confused.

"I'm going to wait for them to pass us." I replied.

I could hear the heart beats. Three men came walking around the corner. I

pretended to drink from the canteen as I rested myself against a tree and lookedaway from them. Edward stood in front of me and put his hands on my waist. Asthe men approached us, my throat started to burn. I swallowed down the venomand Edward's grip tightened.

"I'm OK," I reassured him, taking in a breath.

You can do this. You can do this. The phrase was repeating in his thoughts.

As the men walked past us, there was a fleeting moment when my eyes met oneof theirs. He smiled and nodded in acknowledgement, and the sound of his heart

beating filled my ears. I smiled back and quickly looked away, closing my eyes fora moment. His heart, his blood pulsing, his life, and that life would go on. I wouldnot end his life. My eyes opened to find the hiker’s eyes looking at mine again.

Look at you. You got this. You can-

Edward stopped in mid-thought and removed his hands from me, turning andstepping away. He looked the man up and down, his expression cold. The hikerlooked away quickly and continued to walk away, his pace rushed. Soon, theywere out of slight and only a faint scent lingered. I could finally take a deepbreath.

"Damn, Edward. What was that all about? I think you scared him." Emmettteased.

"He should be scared. He is lucky I didn't drain him for thinking like that." Edwardsaid.

"What was he thinking about?" I asked. I had been concentrating so hard,whatever Edward heard I had missed completely.

"You." He answered.

Emmett walked up to us. "You are going to have to start getting used to that Bro.I mean, Bella is hot. Guys are bound to think about her."

Jasper started laughing. "That is going to be tough on you man. I don't know if Icould handle hearing other men thinking about Alice."

Edward huffed and ran his hands through his hair. He looked over at Carlisle, who



smirked before saying, "You did great, Bella. Come on, let’s keep walking."

"Carlisle, I wanted to ask, have you found out any more about shields?"

"Nothing, unfortunately. It is a very rare gift. I am not sure if I will be able to findmore information. I take it you have been experimenting?"

I told him about how I tested it with Alice and Jasper.

"So, you had a vision of your own when you extended it to Alice and you couldfeel and manipulate emotions through Jasper? I am intrigued," he said. "And youcan hear Edward's thoughts too?"

"Not only can she hear my thoughts, but she can hear everyone else's thoughtsthrough me,” Edward added, smiling again.

We both caught the scent, much stronger than last time. "There are eight of

them. Are you ready?"

"Yes, let's just keep walking."

Only minutes later, we crossed paths with eight humans walking in the opposite

direction. I stopped taking in air. I knew that would make it easier, but then it

dawned on me that I would have to breathe around humans. As Rose suggested, I

took a shallow breath through my mouth, feeling a slight burn. As they walked

past us, the burning in my throat was present but tolerable. Just keep walking, I

told myself. The venom dripped from my teeth, and I swallowed it down. Just

keep walking. The hikers were past us. I knew I wouldn't hurt them; that theywere safe from me. The fire in my throat was dwindling to ambers, but the venom

kept coming. I couldn't take it anymore, and stopped to put my hands on my

knees. When I opened my mouth the venom spewed out onto the ground. Jasper

and Edward were at my side immediately, and I could feel an overwhelming sense

of calm. It must have come from Jasper. I put my hand up.

"I'm alright. I am not going to do anything." I had to stop talking; the venom wasovertaking my mouth again. I spit it out, but it continued to leak from my teeth.

Edward put his hand on my back. "Don't worry. This happens. It is your body’snatural reaction to the humans. It should stop in a moment."

As the venom started to slow, I stood up straight. I could feel a stillness, I felt mybody relaxing.

"You can stop Jasper. I'm fine, really." I said, reassuringly.

He looked perplexed, turning around and starting to walk the trail alone. Alice



joined him and wrapped her arm around his waist. After a moment, he broke off from Alice, sprang into the forest, and ran.

"Alice, what is going on with Jasper?" I asked.

Edward took my hand and we walked with her.

"Bella, Jasper struggles the most with his thirst, our choice of diet is hard for him."Alice said.

"Is he thirsty?" I asked.

"No." Alice said. Then I heard Edward.

You are making it look easy, Bella. You have been maintaining yourself quite well.

He secretly wanted this to be hard for you, so he wouldn't feel so alone.

"I'm going to go find him." Alice said. She turned, but before she ran, I heard herthoughts.

Follow the path to the lake and then double back, it will give you plenty of

practice. Oh, and don't worry, Bella, you will be fabulous. I've seen lt.



Chapter 15: Jasper

There she stood; her confidence staggering. How could this be? Where was the

bloodlust? Her control confounded me. She had even made eye contact with oneof them! I watched as she stopped and I felt her waver. She put her hands to herknees, and as she opened her mouth, venom gushed. There was a feeling of distress in the air, and I followed as Edward pounced to her side. I started focusingon a serene feeling and I pushed it toward her.

Edward, be ready. We may have to restrain her.

He nodded, but Bella raised one hand to us. "I'm alright. I’m not going to doanything."

She continued to spit the venom to the ground. The combination of emotions inthe air was confusing to me. There was worry, determination, concern, envy,pride... I couldn’t distinguish who was feeling what. Edward put his hand on herback before he spoke.

"Don't worry. This happens. It is your body’s natural reaction to the humans. Itshould stop in a moment."

She stood and I threw out another a wave of calm.

"You can stop, Jasper. I'm fine, really."

As I focused on her, I realized that she was fine. The worry hadn't come from her;it had come from Edward. She was the one exuding a fierce determination. Shewas totally resolved in her want to resist. I turned and started walking up thetrail; Alice was soon by my side wrapping her arm around my waist. What shouldhave felt comforting was having the opposite effect. Alice felt sympathy for me,and I didn’t want sympathy. I wanted someone who could share my struggle, justone person who could understand how hard it was for me to endure. I couldn't



take the pity from my family. I kissed Alice's cheek and ran from them all into theforest.

I ran fast, tearing down trees and throwing them with all of the strength I had. Icrushed a boulder with my hands. I wracked my brain. How could this newbornhave such a steadfast resolve? Never have I seen one so in control of their

mental state. I thought back to my beginning in this life and of the hundreds of newborns I had dealt with; they didn’t stop and consider their consequences, theydidn’t feel guilt or remorse over killing humans. Our very being thrives on humanblood. It’s almost impossible to resist.

For me, it wasn't until I was older that I felt shame over taking a life away fromsomeone. When I’d found my conscience, I had simply left Texas. I didn't knowwhere I was going, or what I was going to do, I just knew that I couldn't killanymore. Then I’d found my Alice. I’d walked into that diner in a daze, since Idon't eat food; there had been no reason for me to have gone in there. I had feltsomething pulling me, like an unknown light, an irrefutable need to go into this

place, and there she’d sat. As soon as our eyes had met, everything had comeinto focus. When she’d told me about the Cullen family, I’d shaken my head indisbelief. Living off the blood of animals? It was unheard of. Only Alice could haveconvinced me to seek out this coven and to try and change my life forever.Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett... They were all so strong, sopracticed, so controlled, and they were also patient and compassionate. Thesewere the first of our kind that I had met that were so caring and accepting. Theyall showed a respect for human life, and I wanted to be like them. I’d vowed tofollow the path of Carlisle Cullen and his family. Although I had been living a lifeof restraint, it was so much harder for me than the others. I would have strayed if it hadn't been for Alice. She was my rock, and would lead me from temptation,

she loved me unconditionally, and that is what always kept me going.

I heard light footsteps in the distance, and then Alice stepped into my view. Shesaid nothing. There just a trace of sympathy left; Alice was giving off what Ineeded the most, love.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I love you, Jazz."

"I know you do. I never doubt that. It is your love that keeps me going. It is just

so difficult sometimes. I don't want to be the only one that struggles so hard. Ilooked at Bella today and I could feel her unfaltering conviction. A part of me wasin complete awe, but another part of me was filled with jealousy." As I spoke, Alicewrapped her arms around me.

"Jazz, you are not the only one who feels jealous. I think we are all dumbfoundedat her ability to control herself. Emmett is so disappointed. He was really lookingforward to trying to restrain her. You know he likes to wrestle girls." Alice said,running her fingers through my hair. She knew I loved it when she played with my



hair. The smile on her face was infectious, and I laughed.

"I would have loved to have seen Edward's face if Emmett tried to wrestle her." Isaid, thinking of Edward and his damn his gift. He’d probably heard everything Iwas thinking. "Did he tell her?"

"Yes, but don't be mad at Edward. She didn't understand why you ran off, so weboth explained. She’s not going to judge you." Alice replied. "You know, Jazz; Idon't think that you are looking at this from her perspective."

I scowled. "What do you mean?"

"Think about when we found her. She starved herself for ten months. What is thelongest you have ever gone without feeding?" She asked, but I didn't have toanswer. She knew I had never gone more than a week, maybe two. "Anyone whocan resist for that long already has the strength. The control becomes anafterthought when you already have the advantage of being strong enough."

"So, you’re saying that I need to starve myself?" I was half joking, but curious tosee how she would answer me.

"Stop being an idiot. I’m trying to tell you that you are already strong enough-you have proven that you can control yourself. What you lack self-confidence. Yousaid that you could feel Bella's conviction, right?"

She was giving me that look, that I told you so kind of look. I nodded in response.

"She has what you need and I would be willing to bet that she is willing to share."

"And how does one share their self-confidence?" I asked.

"Have you forgotten about her gift?" She replied.

"You think she can put her shield on me and give me confidence? I don't want tobe manipulated into feeling anything. I want to feel it for myself." I said.

"It was only a suggestion, but I think you should try." Alice told me. She stoppedtouching my hair and started looking off into the distance. I knew her well enoughto know the look on her face. She was having a vision. After a few moments, I

caved in and asked.

"Is it going to work?"

She smiled and jumped on top of me. "Yes, it’s going to work."

How could I disagree with her? She had always been right about this sort of thing.I decided that I would ask Bella to help me, but not right now.



During the ride back to Forks, Alice suggested that we play a game and we spentmost of the ride arguing over what game we should play. Strategy games wereout thanks to Alice and Edward, and just as I thought that, Edward shot me a dirtylook.

We finally decided on 'Pass the Hat.' We each wrote down five questions, and

then put all of the questions in Emmett's hat. We were going to take turns pullingquestions, and then giving answers. It was a simple get-to-know-you game.Edward went first.

"How many languages can you speak? Eight." He smirked.

"Eight?" Bella asked.

"English, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French, Russian, German and Japanese."

"Why Japanese?" You’ve never even been to Japan." Rose asked.

"I was bored," he replied. He handed the hat to me.

"If you had $50 to spend, what would you buy? That’s easy, a new game for theWii, because I am tired of kicking Emmett's ass at ‘House of the Dead’ and ‘MarioKart.’"

"Hey, you did not kick my ass in ‘Mario Kart.’ You beat me by like 3 seconds."Emmett shouted. "We are so having a ‘Mario Kart’ rematch when we get home.Fifty bucks says I beat you this time, and Alice, don't even think about telling himwho is going to win."

I smiled. "You are on."

I handed the hat to Rose.

"Where is your favorite place to live and why? I like Forks because the sun isalways hiding behind the clouds. We can go out in public more than anywhereelse. We are almost normal there." Rose said. She held the hat out for Emmett.

"If you could have any super power, what you would choose?" She asked.

"I’d totally take the power of flight. Could you see me flying into the air andscaring the shit out of all the birds?" Emmett asked, and we all started laughing,imagining it, it was such an Emmett thing to do. Rose handed the hat to Bella.

"What is your favorite band of all time? No brainer. Radiohead." She said thenpassed the hat to Alice.

"What is your funniest Edward moment?" She hesitated. You could tell Edward wasannoyed, cringing in his seat as Alice tried to think of a funny memory of him. "I'm



going to choose the disco." Everyone aside from Bella was laughing.

"UGH! You were the one that dressed me, Alice, and bell bottom were in at thetime." Edward whined."Bella, just imagine Edward in white bell bottoms, a yellow button down shirt-withthe top six buttons down, and let us not forget the matching white vest." Alice

could hardly speak she was laughing so hard. "And if the clothes weren't enough,there was his dancing."

"Hey, that is not fair. I can dance." Edward said.

"Just the thought of you doing the hustle is freaking hilarious." Alice squealed.

"Oh, come on, Alice, I would have thought you’d pick that time we told Edward tomeet us at that gay bar." Rosalie added and roars of laughter filled the car.

In between laughs Emmett added, "Poor Edward, he only lasted about ten minutes

in that bar. He couldn't take all those horny guys thinking about him."

The embarrassment was pouring off Edward. He looked so relieved when wepulled into the drive way.

"Well, I hate to break up this little ‘embarrass Edward’ session, but we’re home."

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14842703 Black Eyed Angel Part 2