14 Ways Bonus Scenes

7/31/2019 14 Ways Bonus Scenes

1/27

(Name of Project)

by(Name of First Writer)

(Based on, If Any)

Revisions by(Names of Subsequent Writers,in Order of Work Performed)

Current Revisions by(Current Writer, date)

Name (of company, if applicable)AddressPhone Number


2/27

BONUS SCENE: AVERY THE BITER

Avery comes in and shakes interviewershand.

INTERVIEWERAvery, thanks for coming in on such short notice.

AVERYThanks for having me.

INTERVIEWERSo Ive been looking over your file. Your GPA, SATs...therea little lower than our average.

AVERYI know, but...in school, I really through myself into extracurricular activities. Student government, Glee club. And

if you look at my recommendations, you can tell that Im verymotivated.

INTERVIEWERWell I can see that. The number of clubs and groups you were

member of...its one of the most impressive list we have.

AVERYThank you.

INTERVIEWERI just have one question.

AVERYShoot.

INTERVIEWERYou have a credit here at the bottom of your accomplishmentsand...I'm just not sure what it means.

AVERYOkay.

INTERVIEWERIt says here...youre a biter.

AVERYYep.

Beat.

INTERVIEWERWhat is that a club or?

AVERYNo, its just what it sounds like.


3/27

Beat.

INTERVIEWEROkay...so you...bite Things.

AVERYThings, people, mostly people I guess. Mostly as a reaction.

INTERVIEWERWhat do you mean as a reaction?

AVERYLook, its not something I do all the time, itsjust...sometimes when I get really mad, or upset, oranxious...or sometimes really happy. I bite.

INTERVIEWERI see.

AVERYWhen I was a kid, I would bite people, Id get mad at mybrother or a friend and bite him. And Id always getgrounded but then my mom got tired of disciplining me andfigured it was...just something I did. So there you go.

INTERVIEWERAnd you bite people when your mad, upset, anxious...or happy.

AVERYAnd sometimes I just do it randomly.

Beat. Interviewer doesnt really knowhow to proceed.

INTERVIEWERWell...Im not sure thats okay.

AVERYWell its not like its against the law.

INTERVIEWERI think it is.

AVERY

No. Theres a law that says you cant bite people.

INTERVIEWERYeah, I think its...like a form of assault.

AVERYWell what do you expect me to do?!? Just not bite people.

INTERVIEWERYeah.

2.


4/27

AVERYSo my mom shouldve just like...kept grounding me when I wasa kid because, what, like...biting people is wrong.

INTERVIEWERYes. Thats exactly what she shouldve done.

Beat. Avery thinks.

AVERYGosh, maybe youre right. If I didnt bite people thatreally wouldve solved a lot of social problems Ive had inhigh school.

INTERVIEWERIts been hard to have friends, huh?

AVERY

Extremely. And girls. Forget it. I went on only one dateand it did not go well.

Beat.

INTERVIEWERWell, Im sorry but I think this is a deal breaker for us.

AVERYYeah, I guess so. Thanks for having me.

They shake. Avery bites theinterviewers hand.

INTERVIEWERAh!

AVERYOh, sorry! I...see now. Youre right. This is going to bea problem if I ever go on a job interview I...sorry.

Avery leaves. Interviewer nurses hishand.

3.


5/27

BONUS SCENE AVERY: REVENGE!

Xavier, brooding, intense sits in hischair already.

INTERVIEWERXavier.

XAVIERYeah man.

INTERVIEWERThanks for coming in.

XAVIERYeah.

INTERVIEWER

So...were you able to find the admissions office okay? Iknow some people get confused as to -

XAVIERCan we just cut the crap?! Okay. I NEED...to just...gohere, so can we make that happen?

INTERVIEWERAlright, well, Im glad youre so enthusiastic but...I just

want to get to know you a little better, see if youd be agood fit for our school.

XAVIER

Ill be great! Okay. Im a...square peg in a land of squareholes can we just...

INTERVIEWEREven if we accept you youre not going to find out for atleast a month, theres a whole process -

XAVIEREEEHHHH!

Xavier knocks over his chair, standsup, huffs about.

INTERVIEWEROkay, Xavier, this is getting a little out of hand.

XAVIERLife is out of hand! I didnt ask for this!

INTERVIEWERWhy are you...whats going on?

4.


6/27

XAVIERNothing! Just...let me into your school! Today!

INTERVIEWERI cant! It doesnt work that way, okay. Why do you even

want to come here?

Xavier pulls out a picture.

INTERVIEWERWho is this?

XAVIERMark Alexander. Hes...the worst!

INTERVIEWEROookay. And you want to come here because -

XAVIERRevenge.

INTERVIEWERRevenge?

XAVIERMark Alexander must pay for what he did! Balance must berestored! Debts must paid! Yings must be yanged!

INTERVIEWERNo, thats a terrible reason to let someone into a school.

XAVIERNo...revenge is the best reason to do anything! Its how Igot on the basketball team and first kissed a girl!

INTERVIEWERWhat, you kissed a girl for revenge?

XAVIERREVENGE KISS!

Xavier does some angry air kissing.

XAVIER

Take that mouth!

INTERVIEWERWell, its not going to work here.

XAVIERWhat?!? Are you seriously saying...SERIOUSLY saying yourgoing to get in the way of my revenge...of my destiny?

5.


7/27

INTERVIEWERYes. Im not sure why you thought I wouldnt.

Xavier stares Interviewer down, then...

XAVIERAlright, Ill go. But this does not end today 535 Woodlanddrive apt 2 B.

INTERVIEWERWhat? Thats my address. How do you -

XAVIERDoesnt END! TODAY!

Xavier storms off.

Interviewer looks worried.

INTERVIEWERI hate this job.

6.


8/27

BONUS SCENE TONY: SANTA SUIT GUY

Tony comes in wearing a santa suit.

TONYAnd I really found that by joining the volleyball team, itreally showed me the importance of team work.

INTERVIEWERUh-huh. Well, Tony, your grades, SATs are right on par withour average.

TONYGreat.

INTERVIEWERI...would really love to give you a recommendation but Ithink...we need to address the elephant in the room here.

TONYOh, god, is it my breath, I forgot to brush my teeth this

morning

INTERVIEWERIts not your breath. No...do I really need to say it?

TONYSorry, I dont know...what I did wrong?

Beat.

INTERVIEWERTony, youre wearing a Santa suit to an interview...in April.

TONYA what suit?

INTERVIEWERA Santa...youre just up like Santa Clause.

TONYIs that a designer, because I can assure its not. My mom

makes these herself. Were very against exploited thirdworld labor and so shes sewn together all my clothes since I

was a little boy.

INTERVIEWERYou really dont know what Im talking about?

TONYIm sorry, I really dont follow fashion trends.

7.


9/27

INTERVIEWERYou are dressed exactly like Santa Clause right now. Youdont know that?

TONYI dont even know who that is.

INTERVIEWERReally?!?

TONYLook, Im sorry this bothers you so much but this isjust...been my style for the past four years or so. I likethe color red, Im not a big fan of form fitting clothes so Ialways ask my mom to make them bulky. I thought a big, blackbelt would be a nice contrast and go with my boots. Its alittle warm, Ill give you that, but...thats just how Irole.

Beat.

INTERVIEWERSo you really dont know who Santa Clause is?

TONYNo! I dont! Im sorry this is so important to you?!? Whois he?

INTERVIEWERSanta Clause. Hes like the...mascot of Christmas. Goesaround on Christmas Eve, goes down your chimney and delivers

presents to kids. Well just good kids, naughty kids get coalin their stockings.

TONYWhat? He goes down the chimney and...do you know this guy orsomething cause thats ridiculous sounding.

INTERVIEWERNo, its not...real, its just...a story. You really dontknow who this?

TONYIts a story?

INTERVIEWERYeah.

TONYAnd you tell it during Christmas time?

8.


10/27

INTERVIEWERYeah, but their are pictures of him everywhere, coke cans,and commercials. Theres usually a Santa at the mall whereyou can take your picture with him.

Tony takes a minute, then rubs hishead.

TONYThis makes so much sense now. Every since I went tohighschool, my nickname has been Saint Nick or Clausey.People are always asking me for presents and at malls randomkids come up to me all the time and just start sitting on mylap and talking to me.

INTERVIEWERWell, yeah, thats what they do with Santa Clause.

TONYI thought I had a gift! I thought people just liked me andthought I was generous. I...I need to go.

INTERVIEWERWell, wait, aside from the suit youre grades and extracurricular activities are really -

TONYNo, Im sorry. I just need a minute. I need a minute tojust...figure this out. Im sorry, I just...

Tony leaves. Interviewer puts his

folder away.

INTERVIEWERI knew I shouldnt have said anything. Shoot.

9.


11/27

BONUS SCENE BERNIE MADOFF

Interviewer stands up to meet BERNIE.

INTERVIEWER 1Bernard, thanks for coming in.

BERNIEPlease, call me Bernie.

INTERVIEWER 1Sure, Bernie, I uh...

Interviewer 1 look at his application.

INTERVIEWER 1Your last name is Madoff?

BERNIEYep.

INTERVIEWER 1Well thats unfortunate, huh?

BERNIEWhat?

INTERVIEWER 1That you...you have the same name as that guy, Bernie Madoff,the guy who did that Ponzi scheme. He swindled people outBillions of dollars.

BERNIEOh yeah yeah yeah. That was...an unwise choice on my part.

Interviewer 1 looks at Bernie closely.

INTERVIEWER 1Im sorry, are you saying you are the Bernie Madoff.

BERNIEGuilty! Really though, I was very guilty. I stole a lot of

money.

INTERVIEWER 1Im sorry, Bernie MAdoff is like...almost seventy, and injail for two hundred years.

BERNIEGot out early!

INTERVIEWER 1But you...you dont look anything like him.

10.


12/27


13/27

Bernie sighs.

BERNIEI dont agree with your decision, but I accept it.

Bernie leave.

Interviewer 1 rips up the check.

He gets a phone call from Interviewer2.

INTERVIEWER 1Admissions office.

INTERVIEWER 2Hows it going.

INTERVIEWER 1Awful. This is way worse than last year.

INTERVIEWER 2Did you see that Bernie Madoff is out of jail. His sentencesome how got commuted for good behavior.

INTERVIEWER 1I...didnt know that.

INTERVIEWER 2He must of bribed somebody.

Interviewer one looks at his torn upcheck.

INTERVIEWER 1Say, if you tear up a check and then tape it backtogether...can you still cash it.

INTERVIEWER 2I dont think so. Why?

INTERVIEWER 1I...no reason.

INTERVIEWER 2Uhp, I got someone coming in. Later.

He hangs up the phone, Interviewer 1sspace goes black.

12.


14/27

BONUS SCENE: MOM

Interviewer is in the middle ofinterviewing Helen, a middle aged

woman.

HELENAnd I think your media studies program has a variety ofopportunities that I could really take advantage of.

INTERVIEWERUm...mom, what are you doing here?

HELENWhat, I cant come and apply to be a new student at theschool you work for just because Im your mother.

INTERVIEWER

No, you cant apply to be a new student because...you alreadyhave a college degree. And a masters. And youre retired.Youre good.

HELENIm saying Im not able to learn anything new.

INTERVIEWERBy all means, you can take classes, but thats not what Ineed. I need to enroll someone as a full time student or Imfired.

HELEN

But thats what I want to be. A full time student.

INTERVIEWERReally. You want to live on campus and have a meal plan?Thats what you want?

HELENYep.

INTERVIEWERWhat does dad think about this?

HELEN

Well he can visit me on family weekend.

INTERVIEWERYoure always try and swoop in and fix everything.

HELENThats not true.

13.


15/27

INTERVIEWERIt is! In sixth grade when I couldnt get on the basketballteam, you rented out a Gym and started your own rec league.In 11th grade when I didnt get cast in the school musicalyou rented out a theatre and had me do a one man version ofGreece.

HELENAnd you were wonderful...as every part.

INTERVIEWERI was terrible! I cant sing, theres a reason I didnt getcast in the musical. Im tone deaf.

HELENI think youre being too hard on yourself.

INTERVIEWER

Mom, I know you dont like to see fail but...you cant helpme this time. If I get fired, I get fired. Ill just haveto go and do something else.

Helen thinks.

HELENWell, maybe your right. Im sorry. Its just so hard to seeyour child struggle and...I just wanted to help.

INTERVIEWERI appreciate that mom, but...I really have to do this on myown.

Helen gets up to leave, she stopsbefore leaving.

HELENOh, if you do end up...getting let go, I talked to a friendof mine who just started a new company and there lookingfor...well, someone to help interviewing new employees.

INTERVIEWERReally?

HELEN

Yes. Youd be working for their HR department. And sinceyou have a wealth of experience when it comes to interviewingdifferent people, I told him about you and hes veryinterested...would you like his card.

Interviewer thinks.

INTERVIEWERWell...I guess thats reasonable. I mean all you did wasgive me a recommendation.

14.


16/27

HELENHardly, I just mentioned you in passing. Here, if you wantto set up an interview, call this number. I cant doanything else to get you this job.

INTERVIEWEROkay, well...yeah, maybe Ill give them a call. That couldbe a...

Interviewer takes a look at the card.He looks closely at the card, then backat Helen.

INTERVIEWERRover fashion company?

HELENYep. I believe they make funny hats and accessories for

small dogs-

INTERVIEWERAnd the companys address is...our home address. Are youleasing out the basement or something.

HELENNo. Not exactly.

Beat.

INTERVIEWERIs dad starting a new company just so I can get a job.

HELENLook, your father started the company a few months ago and hereally thinks youd make a great addition to the Rover team.

INTERVIEWERBye mom.

HELENBut...

INTERVIEWERBye. Thank you but bye.

Helen takes the card back and leaves.

INTERVIEWERHats for small dogs. Gees I must be a really disappointingsun.

15.


17/27

BONUS SCENE CAITLIN: NERVOUS TALKER

Caitlin enters, nervously biting hernails. Interviewer 1 is on the phone.

CAITLINHi Im Caitlin Green, Im here for -

INTERVIEWER 1Im sorry, Ill just be a minute.

CAITLINOh my God of course, I use the phone all the time, sorry,sorry.

She sits. Fidgeting.

INTERVIEWER 1

So lets meet maybe next week. Okay, well I give you a call.Great.

Interviewer 1 hangs up the phone.

INTERVIEWER 1Im sorry about that...

CAITLINIm sorry. Im the one who came in. I saw you were on thephone and I said to myself okay Caitlin, hes on the phoneyou probably shouldnt interrupt him, but then I thought,But dont be a wall flower, colleges want doers not

watchers, so then I wasnt sure what to do and then Iremembered an interview I saw with world renowned Airline

mogul Richard Branson where he said I didnt make millionsof dollars by sitting like a lump, I did it by taking actionand doing. And he produced Tubular Bells. And he made aplane run on snails -

INTERVIEWER 1Caitlin...Im sorry, Im just going to interrupt here. Um,its fine.

CAITLINOkay, okay, okay...

Interviewer 1 takes out Caitlins file.

INTERVIEWER 1So lets take a look here shall we? Good SATs...I see youtook the test twice.

16.


18/27

CAITLINI did. Yes. And I wasnt sure if I should, because Ithought to myself, is this gonna look bad, that I took thetest twice. I mean, my first test was fine. It was a apretty good score, but I know that a lot of colleges reallyREALLY put a lot of weight on SAT scores, and BeckyFletchman, shes like my best friend since highschool, shesaid schools dont even care, and I was like are you sure?and she was like ten hundred percent positive. And Now, I

mean, I JUST WANT TO KILL HER cause obviously IT DOES MATTER.

INTERVIEWER 1No, no, no, its...completely fine. In fact I see it as asign of initiative. So...no worries.

CAITLINNo, okay, great, its just, I thought...no, totally, totally,totally.

INTERVIEWER 1Okay...so...what go you interested in our University?

CAITLINGreat question. GREAT question. And...I have to say threethings, four things, really, but the fourth is...like abonus. So three things. First...and foremost,although...not like better by far than the other reasonsbecause I think theyre all important and -

INTERVIEWER 1Okay, Caitlin...

CAITLINBut I know that in the long run -

INTERVIEWER 1Caitlin! Im just...Im gonna have to ask you to limit youranswers to...lets say ten words from now on.

CAITLINOh my god! Am I rambling, I do that sometimes, its like atick, well not a tick, its like a -

INTERVIEWER 1

Its fine. Its really...fine, were just going to run out oftime so...lets keep going, but from now on, ten words.

CAITLINGreat, great, yes, okay, yes.

INTERVIEWER 1Okay. So...out of all the extra-curricular activities, whichare you most passionate about?

17.


19/27

CAITLINFirst I...okay...(she holds up three fingers)...soccerbecause...life changing....and....leadership...skills.

INTERVIEWER 1Okay, great. See that was great.

Caitlin nervously nods.

INTERVIEWER 1So, what other -

Caitlin raises her hand urgently.

INTERVIEWER 1Yes?

CAITLIN

Im sorry, just...quick question. Really quick question.

INTERVIEWER 1Sure.

CAITLINWhen you say ten words, do conjunctives count? And can I atanytime start over. And could it be fifteen words instead often because I think, and you may disagree with me, and that

would be fine, totally fine, but ten seems like a prettyarbitrary number and fifteen, while just as arbitrary i thinkgives me the ability to make a well rounded argument. Well,not a well rounded argument as if to say, like, the best

argument ever, but a more well rounded argument.

Interviewer 1 tries several times tointerject, but eventually gives him.Interviewer 1 then stands up and leavesthe room.

CAITLINSo if this is okay, oh, okay, youre standing, does that meanits not okay or it is okay? Im gonna assume, now, well, nowIm gonna assume, you know, because youre leaving that,

maybe its not. Is that what I should assume. Because Ithink if it was okay you probably wouldnt have left the

room. You probably...

Caitlin is now alone.

CAITLINI shouldnt have taken the SATs twice.

End of scene.

18.


20/27

BONUS SCENE DUNGARY: NERVOUS TALKER

Interviewer 2 sits down with DUNGARY,an Australian mate. And when I sayAustralian mate, he is thestereotypical Australian. Steve Irwinkhaki shorts and short sleeve shirt,boomerang, weird accent, et. al.

INTERVIEWER 2So its pronounced Dun-gree?

DUNGARYDungary OMalley Oy!

INTERVIEWER 2Oh. Thats how you spell oy!

DUNGARYOy!

INTERVIEWER 2I thought it was a smudge.

DUNGARYNo. Its an oy!

INTERVIEWER 2Great. So judging from your accent and clothingand...boomerang, I take it youre from -

DUNGARYOz.

INTERVIEWER 2Australia, right, but youre family moved to the states afew...(looking at his file)...no, you moved here when you

were five?

DUNGARYThats right.

INTERVIEWER 2Im just surprised you kept your accent and your...culture.

DUNGARYLet me tell you something. When youre born in the wild ofthe outback, amongst the roos, and the dingos, and thedidgeridoos...theres a part of you that never really leaves.Oz isnt just a place, its a state of mind.

INTERVIEWER 2I see, so...Dungary. What have you liked about living in thestates?

19.


21/27

DUNGARYCrikey! Loads of stuff.

INTERVIEWER 2Like what?

DUNGARYLoads-of-stuff. Im tellin ya.

INTERVIEWER 2Well can you give me an example?

DUNGARYEhh...I like the zoo.

INTERVIEWER 2You like animals?

DUNGARYYeah!

INTERVIEWER 2Well thats great! Any in particular?

DUNGARYOh, I dunno. Crocs, koala bears, roos, wombats.

INTERVIEWER 2Any that arent associated with Australia?

DUNGARY

Nah. Not really.

Interviewer 2 looks at his file.

INTERVIEWER 2It says here youre on the track team.

DUNGARYOy! Good times that track. Fun mates!

INTERVIEWER 2What events do you run?

DUNGARYWell, I dont run so much as I walk. And I never really stayon the track either. I just like to meander about for milesand miles. Spiritually alone...almost like Im on a quest.

INTERVIEWER 2So you dont really participate in track and field...youjust, go on walkabouts.

20.


22/27

DUNGARYWalkabout!

Looking at the file.

INTERVIEWER 2Well, you have managed to get good grades although...(takinga closer look)...you managed to somehow only take Gym andobscure courses on Australian history.

DUNGARYIn Gym they let me play Rugby.

INTERVIEWER 2Can I ask you a question?

DUNGARYCan I ask you...for a Fosters.

INTERVIEWER 2No!

DUNGARYBut I love Fosters! Its Australian for -

INTERVIEWER 2I KNOW! I...know it is but...Dungary, why do you even wantto go here? There are plenty of wonderful Universities inAustralia that -

DUNGARY

Dad says its too expensive. Dad says I have to go instate.

INTERVIEWER 2But why here then? We dont offer any courses onAustralia...in any way, nor do we have a travel abroadprogram with Australia.

DUNGARYIs that right?

INTERVIEWER 2Im afraid so.

DUNGARYWell crikey! I thought you did.

Beat. Dungary scratches his head.

DUNGARYCan I tell you somethin?

21.


23/27

INTERVIEWER 2Sure.

DUNGARYI dont think I want to go to this school

End of scene.

22.


24/27

BONUS SCENE AMBER: SOCIALITE PRESIDENTIAL HEIRESS

Interviewer 2 is in the middle ofgiving her spiel to Amber, whostexting and not paying attention.

INTERVIEWER 2So the campus beautifully has lot of sprawling public spaces,perfect for picnics, frisbee, or just...hanging out.

AMBERYeah...?

INTERVIEWER 2But if youre more of a homebody, the dorms are extremelyroomy. Complete with a kitchen, wireless internet, and studyhalls on every floor.

AMBEROh yeah, cool.

INTERVIEWER 2Not to mention access to...Dinosaurs, and flesh eatingviruses. which will kill you.

AMBER(disinterested)

Oh my God, I totally wanna try that.

INTERVIEWER 2Amber.

AMBERAbsolutely. Sounds fierce!

INTERVIEWER 2Amber!

AMBERWhat?

INTERVIEWER 2Stop texting.

AMBERNo.

INTERVIEWER 2I have to tell you Amber, this interview isnt going very

well so far.

AMBERLike it matters.

23.


25/27

INTERVIEWER 2It does! This is the only time we actually get to seepotential students face to face. My recommendation carries alot of weight -

AMBERDid you even look at my application?

INTERVIEWER 2Excuse me?

AMBERMy college App. Did you even read it?

INTERVIEWER 2I did. And I have to say theres a lot of troubling gaps.Low SAT scores, no extra-curriculars...

AMBERJust look at the top of the front page.

INTERVIEWER 2The top?

AMBERYeah! Of the first page!

Interviewer 2 flips to the first page.

INTERVIEWER 2You mean your name?

AMBERYeah.

INTERVIEWER 2I dont understand.

AMBERRead it.

INTERVIEWER 2Uh...Amber G. Harding?

AMBERRinging any bells yes? Hello, heir to the presidentialthrown here.

INTERVIEWER 2Youre...related to a president.

AMBERUh, yeah. Look who failed U.S. history. Warren G. Harding?Hes my great-great-grandfather.

24.


26/27

INTERVIEWER 2Oh.

AMBERYeah. I know. You must feel pretty stupid.

INTERVIEWER 2Um...no, I -

AMBERLook. Im just here to be nice. My dad said I can get intoany college I want. Thats how it works when youre relatedto a president. You can do anything you want.

INTERVIEWER 2Not here you cant.

AMBER

Um...yes I can. My great-great was the leader of the freeworld. What did yours do? Work in a stupid factory?

INTERVIEWER 2No, he was a Marine.

AMBERThats dumb.

INTERVIEWER 2No, its not! Look, we dont play favorites no matter whoyoure related to. And besides that...youre great-great wasa terrible president.

AMBERNo. He was like...the best at presidenting!

INTERVIEWER 2No, he wasnt. He was a drunk! He had multiple mistressesand he was extremely corrupt. Tea-Pot dome scandal?Remember that?

AMBERThat wasnt even...real! The media made that up to make himlook bad. Besides, he did lots of other, like, mind blowingstuff. He founded Monticello, freed the slaves, and got the

country out of the great depression!

INTERVIEWER 2No! He didnt! That was Jefferson, Lincoln, and FDR. Theonly good thing Harding ever did was die in office.

Amber gasps.

AMBERToo soon.

25.


27/27

Beat.

INTERVIEWER 2Well, I dont think, its too soon but...that may have been atad.

Amber stands up.

AMBERYou, have just made the biggest mistake of your life. When

my dad finds out, hes gonna turn your stupid college intoSears.

Amber stomps out of the room.

INTERVIEWER 2Maybe so, but we still wouldnt accept you!

Beat. Interviewer 2 thinks.

INTERVIEWER 2Maybe! But Id rather work at a Sears than have you as astudent!

Beat.

INTERVIEWER 2Yeah, that was better. The first one didnt make much sense.

End of scene.

26.

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14 Ways Bonus Scenes