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The Loss of the Parental BondAnd non-presentation of children(‘s visiting rights)
The Belgian situation(statistics and reflections)
Over a song by TWARRES
© Patrick GARNIER – 02/02/2009“genitor” of a child born without a father in 1998
www.patrick-garnier.net
36 frame slide show(use the arrows to go forward / back)
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Protégez les enfants
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The non-presentation of a childor children to the other parent
After examining the Senate’s computer archives, I was able in the past to obtain the following information on the number of complaints lodged for “refusing visiting rights” :
(Source : Federal Secretary of State for Justice, Mrs. L. Onkelinx’s reply to question no. 3-627 from Mrs. C Nyssens (CdH senator), 3/02/2004)
Extract : « Articles 431 and 432 of the Penal Code make non-presentation of a child an offence. However, it is a fact that parents who act upon this
basis rarely see the complaints they lodge ending satisfactorily. »
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Back of a T-shirt printed last year, partly extrapolated numbers ; the 17,000 recognised complaints lodged are only the tip of the iceberg !
Dos d’un tee-shirt
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Should be added to these figures :
• All the non-encoded statistics : over a 3 year period (2000-2002) there were 33 complaints lodged in Verviers (I alone have already lodged over 78), 78 in Liège and 206 in Brussels… spot the error !
• The complaints lodged that are sometimes not even
followed through!
• Parents who lodge several complaints at a time in
order to save hours of waiting at the Police Station…
sometimes several times a week when their visiting
rights are eroded… with the pretext used, for example,
that « the children are too young ».
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… or still, not forgetting :
• Parents who lodge complaints for several children at the same time ( to ponder over).
• … and above all, the uncountable number of complaints that parents don’t even bother lodging, realising like me, that in practice, NOTHING is done; from official filing without follow-up to other imagined excuses which lead to the same result : the loss of a family bond,leading to children completely rejecting the« accessory » or « secondary » parent, generally the father, a FACT that no-one can deny.
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And me more than 78
Frederic… do you
think I should apply to
join the Guinness
Book of Records ?
2 articles de presse
31 months since the nth separation ! After 27 hearings in 11 years, there is no change, apart from several thousand less euros… and much more if all the sacrifices are counted.
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Convictions
I tried to establish the link between the number of
offences and their follow-up.
Before being confronted with an almost total and
questionable refusal of information from the judicial
authorities, I was able to obtain the list of the number
of complaints lodged followed by a conviction,
from the Criminal Political Service :
2004 incomplete
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Risk : zero.x %• In general, that of the ±17,000 annual complaints
lodged and taken into account by the system, about 100 of them seem to be followed by a ridiculous conviction; that is only a few tenths of a percent ! How can we pretend to be astonished that some people (women) take advantage of the situation ?
• For the Justice System, the fact that your children are slowly but surely being kidnapped, is not a high priority. CQFD.
• Knowing the serious implications of these tragedies, on children and their families, is this anything other than NOT HELPING A PERSON IN DANGER, or an invitation to murder ?
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A token of respect to a father who finally committed suicide, fed-up
with having fought so hard, in vain.
5 articles de presse + hommage
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3 articles de presse
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My shabbiest apologies
I would have liked to have the situation “clarified”, by finding out more information : for example, on the number of complaints lodged according to gender,
the changes over time, which judicial district, or even getting hold of information on convictions ;
but despite all my e-mails and telephone calls since October 2007, I came across a wall of silence,
much to the amazement of some of the statistical SPF service employees…
I wonder if I asked inconvenient questions ?
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3 articles de presse
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It is URGENT and of utmost importance
• To rigorously apply the laws, written and voted for by politicians, to respect the international treaties, conventions and pacts which have been ratified by our country, giving rights to respect private family life (CEDH, CIDE…).
• Mediation and other « Meeting Spaces » are not« one size fits all » miracle cures, used to solve difficult situations, by pushing problems on some-one else.
• Sometimes, coercion is necessary (therapists believe so)… as much as prevention !
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2 articles de presse
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2 articles de presse
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Criminal Politics
• The Police Service has received instructions from the Public Prosecutors Department not to intervene systematically (officially, so as not to traumatise children), while magistrates rarely add footnotes to judicial decisions, allowing the police to act, nor are they willing to intervene later.
• Bailiffs can be used, but they are only able to intimidate (for about €170 per visit !), except if it is explicitly mentioned in the judgement, that public force can be used.
• What solution do we propose ? We propose transferring cases to the SAJ (Belgian Children’s Help Service), SPJ (Belgian Judicial Police Service), Penal Mediation, Meeting Spaces, etc., etc., etc…
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STOP à la violence conjugale (…sous toutes ses formes !)
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Night flights, Constitutional problems of Brussels-Hal-Vilvoorde, Illegal immigration…
… and 200,000 Belgian childrenwho no longer see (or who nearly never
see, for the “luckiest”) one of their parents, in general, the father… and therefore also,
often half of their whole family…
Does this not interest anyone ?
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Daddy’s Pride 2008
Is it a coincidence that hundreds of mainly fathers’ associations have come into being these last few years, throughout the developed world ?
Are all these parents vindictive, excitable, « masculinist » revenge seekers ? Why do they all complain of the revolting way they are treated by the Law, being considered as the « accessory » parent, having the child’s « second » home, (revealing legal terms), as vulgar pigs who should pay « maintenance », sometimes so high as to be unaffordable, who can become an advantage to the « main » parent, (increased child benefit, subsidised social housing, tax rebates…) which can incite family break-up rather than preserve family unity.
Why do these associations not receive any subsidies, while women’s centres can be found in profusion everywhere, not counting the way men are caricaturised in the media as violent, often the cause of the world’s problems… while women are seen as eternal victims, or heroines ? Is it by pleasure, hatred or revenge, that some men have fought for over 10 years, spending sometimes thousands of euros, sacrificing their careers, and even their relationships ? Don’t they have anything else to do ?
Is it a conspiracy, if most emphasise the fundamentally pernicious nature of the feminist point of view, which can be constantly heard ? Why did the famous French philosopher, Elizabeth BADINTER, an ex-fervent defender of the women’s movement, come out against the excesses of the feminist lobby in her essay « Fausse Route » ? Why did she underline the simplistic nature of the arguments used, comparing “family violence” with “salary differences”, which often seem to me to be irrational ? This sterile sexual opposition leads to family breakdown !
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And what are the Consequences ?
• Generally, this leads to a break-down of the parental bond, which can ultimately lead to the child REJECTING the PARENT… as if the “main” parent kidnapped your children to Kenya, to Lebanon or to Germany…
• This is freely accepted “INTRA national child abduction”, with the tacit approval of a so-called democratic and civilised state.
• In the best of cases, you are lucky to “get back” adult children who have already been “educated”, with a sad feeling of having missed out on what was the most important : your presence during their childhood, and all the missing and lost memories.
• The socio-economic impact of these situations, which we tend to take for granted, is enormous in terms of health, education, etc..
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Olivier LIMET and two of his three children brought back from Kenya with the help of diplomatic initiatives, took part in “les enfants du divorce” (Children of Divorce), a programme shown on Belgian television, 12 March 2008 (see my web site)…
But I am still waiting for someone to explain to me the difference between international and intra-national child abduction…
2 articles de presse
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Some mothers have also been victims of this injustice !
5 articles de presse (mamans)
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We request :
• That everything possible is done to preserve Family unity, which is the base of every human being in a civilised society, and is vitally important for personal development.
• That from now on, those who act in such a way, are legally penalised as soon as they begin to have act suspiciously, (before the downward spiral begins), with measures taken to transfer the residency of the child and to transfer the exclusive parental authority.
• Finally, we are asking for Belgian laws TO BE APPLIED, as most laws already exist, but it is the fact that they are not enforced, that is wanting !
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Famiboom 2007 (Heysel - BXL)
Some Belgian militants in T-shirts Our stand « 1 FATHER = 1 MOTHER »
Public information / explanation Action after the official conference
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« fugit irreparabile tempus »
« Ineluctably, time passes »
Virgile, 70-19 ACN, Géorgiques, III, 284
This Latin poet would have preferred going straight to the point instead of wasting time on asides,
as time passes by… what would he think of our"modern" system of Justice ?
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Cali : le droit des pères !To the devil with my pride, on my bended knees I beg All I want is that Justice becomes a bit more fair this time.
To the devil with my pride, on my bended knees I beg Because Justice was too fait this time.
It’s a tragedy a new step backwards Their biased murderous Justice Deliberately placing it’s fat arse on the Father’s Right’s
It’s a tragedy a new race the wrong way round Justice deliberately placing it’s fat arse on the Father’s Right’s
If I write to you today my son, from my night
It is because you should know that if I have lost Everything like a dog, I fought for my right to Love you as a Father can love. They have let me wander without you. In my anger they have once again Taken the Father’s Rights.
They have left us aside like two dusters and shit to the Father’s rights
My love know that my hands will be torn on the iron fence, the money machine that they call Justice The old whore to who I piss on.
In the depths of my anger I want to commit murder, I have no bombs, No that disgusts me There is nothing lower you know than those who tear at the legs and the arms They will never tear away the heart from those you have not, you know, those who give us Crumbs of days for the two of us each month
I want to commit murder at the depths of my prayers they have stolen my father’s rights.
If I write to you today it’s because you must know that they only left me The right to call out your name to the wind I lost the most important battle, To see you growing every day my son.
We are millions of father’s with our faces pressed against the ground, In this prison, in this rat trap, in this misery,millions crying to lady justice Take off the blindfold and see millions begging for father’s rights.
Do I go back into my night. NO. I won’t leave you. NO, to watch you from afar is my only right I’ll always have one hand on my heart the other on you shoulder, I’ll come and see you in the distance At the school exit.
My love, they won’t take away from me, not them, not your poor mother My father’s Eyes
You can download this “cutting” song from the LPLM website (Les Papas = Les Mamans), a French association which
supports the idea that every child needs
his or her two parents.
Already available in 8 languages !
But getting back to basics, one of the first associations
supporting parental equality, the M(B)EP was officially
founded in Belgium, and had its articles of association
published in the Moniteur Belge 23 years ago !
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Affiche Cap Enfance
This poster which was recently shown on the Brussels Metro, was created by a Fathers Association and was based on a university study of a random sample of 1,000 children.
This extrapolated information, which is now recognised (including in works by “Etats Généraux de la Famille” (General State of the Family)), is probably optimistic, as it does not include the total number of citizens, adults included, who have been faced with this problem and have suffered in silence for years…
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Evolution d’hier à nos joursAn article which appeared 8/07/1994 in the Belgian magazine « Le Vif / L’Express » by the then journalist and now editor, Dorothée KLEIN, said « One child in two will lose all contact with one of their parents after the breakdown of the couple. » , or still « in the absence of valid statistics, ??? Pierre DELOOZ estimates 15,000 Belgian children experience their parents divorcing each year. But according to Jean-Louis RENCHON, lawyer, responsible for teaching at UCL (Catholic University of Louvain) (NDLR: who is now dean of the faculty of law), 49% of children lose contact with one of their two parents some time after a separation or a divorce ». (This reference was given with the kind help of the life of fathers).
Unfortunately, I cannot confirm or refute these figures, but I simply note that this problem is not new… and in my opinion, is getting worse… simply because nothing much is being done to remedy the situation !
In 1994, the national marriage rate was “only” 5.14 marriages and 2.18 divorces (per thousand inhabitants), but by 2006 it was 4.27 and 2.78, a significant increase in the divorce rate compared to the marriage rate. In the capital, Brussels, in recent years, the divorce rate (in relative terms) has even exceeded the marriage rate. Statistical analysis is not precise, as it does not take into account separations of unmarried couples with children, and the reasons why, but I doubt that the situation has improved recently!
I suggest a simple test : go into a classroom, (particularly in a poor area, read Pascale JAMOULLE’s doctoral thesis in anthropology) and ask the children, how many still live with both parents, then how many have regular contact with both sides of the family. The results can be frightening.
Marriages in red, divorces in blue (Source: INS Statbel, SPF Economie)
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This citizen’s action…
… This also concerns grand-parents, and all the members of the family !
One case among many :
My parents, who are simple,
normal people, who have
been married 44 years,
who have given foster care
for 25 years, are amazed
and saddened for 11 years
by the injustice of the
Justice system; which
sometimes makes
decisions, but even these
are rarely applied…
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All UNITED against the unacceptable !
• Go visit the 230 hyperlinks that have already been found…
• Discuss this with those around you :SPEAKING IS ALREADY ACTION !
• Sign and spread the news of our petitions !
• Become an active member, or a sympathiser of any of these associations !
• Soutenez-les financièrement si possible !
• Make suggestions to us, share your ideas !
• Thanking you… for all the Families…
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A website where children express themselves freely :www.jaimepapaetmaman.net.
Lost Families, the new game which has already been adopted by thousands of Belgian families.
« DADDY’S PRIDE » : Demonstration of International Father’s Associations, Rome, 16 March 2008.
Jaimepapaetmaman - Lostopoly
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Does Belgium want to become the child abduction kingdom ?
List of the 50 countries which have already visited www.patrick-garnier.net up to 06/01/2009.
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L’union fait la force !(Unity makes strength ! – The Belgian Motto)
• Deputies, Senators, Ministers,… Federal, Regional or Communal,… French speaking, Dutch speaking or German speaking,… right-wing, centre or left-wing ;
• Fathers and mothers, grand-fathers and grand-mothers, uncles and aunts, godfathers and godmothers, cousins, (…) ;
• Rich or poor, management or workers, black or white, labourers or intellectuals, believers, agnostics or non-believers ;
• I appeal to your COMMON SENSE : there are things which are much more important in life than the language we use, than the borders we draw, or the percentage change in “wealth” of our society !
• Saving the Family is far more important than the infantile community struggles, which cost millions to the taxpayer in terms of GNP.
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Children of the sun: paroles
We're coming from far, over oceans of time
We're coming from places we once left behind
We're looking for love, in the heart of every man
We're looking for reasons we'll all understand
We are in need, we want a place for everyone
We shine through love, we are the children of the sun
We follow our dreams and we'll never stop
We follow our hopes and we'll never give up
Until we have found the warmth of the sun
Until we are oneWe are in need, we want a place for
everyoneWe shine through love
We are forever on the run.
We are in need, we want a place for everyone
We shine through love, we are the children of the sun
We're coming from far, over oceans of time
We're coming from places we once left behind
We're looking for love, in the heart of every man
We're looking for reasons we'll all understand
We follow our dreams and we'll never stop
We follow our hopes and we'll never give up
Until we have found the warmth of the sun
Until we are one, the children of the sun.
We shineThrough love
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Fin
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