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10 TIPS FOR MANAGING CONFLICT
2Manage what you say
i n conf l i c t
Manage how you th ink
about conf l i c t
Manage how you l i s t en and
nego t i a te i n con f l i c t
1
3
Take t i m e b e f o r e
y o u ta lk . I t is h a r d t o8 t h i n k c lear ly w h e n
o n e is angry.
1W o r k o n t r y i n g t o b e
t h o u g h t f u l i ns tead o f
t r y i n g t o p r o v e t h a t
y o u are r igh t .
CONFILICT
6A s k yourse l f : h o w
can I say w h a t I w a n t
t o te l l t h e m in a w a y
t h a t t h e y can hear i t?
10 TIPS FOR M A N A G I N G
2 A c k n o w l e d g e t h a t y o u have a r i gh t t o y o u r
fee l ings and t h a t i t is o k a y f o r y o u t o b e
upset . B y d o i n g so, y o u wi l l b e ab le t o m o v e
t h r o u g h y o u r o w n emo t i ons be t te r. Then,
y o u w i l l b e ab le t o a c c e p t t he o t h e r person 's
react ions.
3L e t g o o f be l i ev ing
t h a t y o u o w n t h e o n l y
t r u t h a b o u t t h e
s i t ua t i on
4 Recogn ize t h a t i g n o r i ng o r
a t t ack ing t h e o t h e r person
rare ly ge ts y o u w h a t y o u
need.
5D o w h a t y o u can t o rea l ly l is ten
t o t h e o t h e r person. As m u c h as
poss ib le, s h o w genu ine cur io i s ty
a b o u t w h a t l ed t h e m t o the i r
o p i n i on o f t h e s i tuat ion.
7K n o w this: a lmos t al l conf l i cs
have the i r basis in an
unde r l y i ng need n o t b e i n g m e t
( respect , a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t ,
acceptance, fairness, etc. ) . The
m o r e y o u can c o m m u n i c a t e
y o u r needs, ins tead o f y o u r
compla in ts , t he b e t t e r o f f y o u
w i l l be.
9D o n ' t b e a f ra id t o a c k n o w l e d g e any
respons ib i l i t y f o r mis takes y o u m i g h t have
made . Also, a c k n o w l e d g e w h a t t h e o t h e r
pe rson is r i g h t abou t . These ges tures g o a
l o n g w a y t o b u i l d m o m e n t u m in m o v i n g
f o r w a r d .
10
N o m a t t e r w h a t y o u are d o i n g t o d e -
esca la te t h e s i tua t i on a n d n o m a t t e r
w h a t t h e o t h e r pe rson m a y b e d o i n g
t h a t m i g h t esca la te i t , a lways c o m e
f r o m a p lace o f respect ,
unders tand ing , a n d humi l i t y.
MANAGE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT CONFLICT
TIP1
Acknowledge that you have a right to your feelings and that it is okay for you to
be upset. By doing so, you will be able to move through your own emotions
better. Then, you will be able to accept the other person's reactions.
TIP2
Take time before you talk, it is hard to think clearly when one is angry.
Know this: almost all conflicts
have their basis in an underlying
need not being met (respect, acknowledgement,
acceptance, fairness, etc.). The more you can
communicate your needs, instead of your
complaints, the better off you wil l be.
Let go of bel ieving that you
own the only t ruth about the situation.
MANAGE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT CONFLICT
TIP3
TIP4
Work on trying
to be thoughtful
instead of trying
to prove that
you are right.
Recognize that
ignoring or
attacking the other
person rarely gets
you what you need.
Ask yourself: how
can I say what I
want to tell them
in a way that
they can hear it?
MANAGE WHAT YOU SAY IN CONFLICT
TIP5 TIP6 TIP7
Do what you can to really listen
to the other person. As much as
possible, show genuine curiosity
about what led them to their
opinion of the situation.
Don' t be afraid to acknowledge any
responsibi l i ty for mistakes you might
have made. Also, acknowledge
what the other person is r ight about.
These gestures go a long way to
bui ld momentum in moving forward.
MANAGE WAYS TO LISTEN AND NEGOTIATE IN CONFLICT
TIP8
TIP9
No matter what you are doing to de-
escalate the si tuat ion and no matter
what the other person may be doing
that might escalate i t , always come
from a place of respect, understanding,
and humil i ty.
TIP10
M A N A G E W AY S T O L I S T E N A N D N E G O T I AT E I N C O N F L I C T
Learn more about NCRC's training
opportunities and resources.
Visit NCRConline.com
Or contact Ashley Virtue at