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The ROCK Players present…Want to be Blessed?

Based on Romans 7:15-25, 2 Cor. 11:23-27, Acts 20:17-38

©2010 David Skarshaug (www.alcames.org). Conditions for use: (1) If you use all or parts of this script in any form, please consider sending a suggested $5 donation check made out to “The ROCK” to the following address: Ascension Lutheran Church, 615 Kellogg, Ames, IA 50010. Reference the script title in the memo on the check. (2) Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. (3) You may reproduce this script for internal use, but all copies must contain this copyright statement.

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Monty Hall:Monty Hall: Toby (Suit)Toby (Suit)Jay Stewart:Jay Stewart: Michael (Suit)Michael (Suit)Carol Merrill: Carol Merrill: Lauren (Dress) Lauren (Dress) Curtain Man:Curtain Man: Zach (Suit)Zach (Suit)Curtain Man:Curtain Man: Sam (Suit)Sam (Suit)Apostle Paul:Apostle Paul: Ryan (Period Attire)Ryan (Period Attire)Contestant 1:Contestant 1: Allee (Costume)Allee (Costume)Contestant 2::Contestant 2:: Nate (Costume)Nate (Costume)Contestant 3:Contestant 3: Annee (Costume)Annee (Costume)Contestant 4:Contestant 4: Joe (Costume)Joe (Costume)Contestant 5:Contestant 5: Sandra (Costume)Sandra (Costume) Contestant 6:Contestant 6: Oliver (Costume)Oliver (Costume) Energizer Rat:Energizer Rat: Matt (Rat Costume, Drum)Matt (Rat Costume, Drum)

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Setting: Setting: The old “Let’s Make a Deal” show, starring The old “Let’s Make a Deal” show, starring Monty Hall. The show was based on the premise of a Monty Hall. The show was based on the premise of a host (Monty Hall) stepping into a select galley of the host (Monty Hall) stepping into a select galley of the studio audience, who came dressed oddly in an effort studio audience, who came dressed oddly in an effort to get noticed and—thereby--selected by the host to be to get noticed and—thereby--selected by the host to be a contestant. Frequently the chosen contestants were a a contestant. Frequently the chosen contestants were a “team” of more than one person. Once selected, Hall “team” of more than one person. Once selected, Hall would trade and/or give the contestant(s) something of would trade and/or give the contestant(s) something of some value, and then offer them a series of “trades” some value, and then offer them a series of “trades” for hidden prizes. These hidden prizes were usually for hidden prizes. These hidden prizes were usually behind doors or curtains. The round continued until the behind doors or curtains. The round continued until the contestant(s) either got something valuable and contestant(s) either got something valuable and therefore chose to keep their prize or got something therefore chose to keep their prize or got something worthless, referred to as a “zonk” on the show.worthless, referred to as a “zonk” on the show.

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(“Let’s Make a Deal” theme (“Let’s Make a Deal” theme plays in background)plays in background)

Announcer:Announcer: Welcome to Welcome to beautiful downtown, Burbank. beautiful downtown, Burbank. I’m Jay Stewart, and it’s time I’m Jay Stewart, and it’s time for our special Christian Life for our special Christian Life edition of “Let’s Make A Deal”, edition of “Let’s Make A Deal”, with television’s big dealer, with television’s big dealer, Monte HallMonte Hall…(applause)……(applause)…

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Monty:Monty:Thanks Jay. Today, our Thanks Jay. Today, our audience is filled with ordinary audience is filled with ordinary people—just like you and me—people—just like you and me—in search of the Christian life in search of the Christian life and all the blessings that go and all the blessings that go with it. Let’s start right off with it. Let’s start right off with our first contestantswith our first contestants… … (describe them).(describe them). And what is And what is your name?your name?

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Contestant 1:Contestant 1: I’m Gilda Guilty. I’m Gilda Guilty.

Contestant 2:Contestant 2: I’m Randy I’m Randy Remorse.Remorse.

Contestant 1:Contestant 1: We’ve made a We’ve made a lot of mistakes in our lives and lot of mistakes in our lives and need forgiveness.need forgiveness.

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Monty:Monty:Jay, what do we have to Jay, what do we have to offer our first contestants?offer our first contestants?

Announcer:Announcer: Monty, our first Monty, our first contestants receive a bottle of contestants receive a bottle of Woolite, because you’ll look Woolite, because you’ll look better in a sweater washed in better in a sweater washed in Woolite. A prize worth five Woolite. A prize worth five dollars and forty-nine cents!!! dollars and forty-nine cents!!! (Audience oohs and applauds.)(Audience oohs and applauds.)

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Contestant 1:Contestant 1: (Very excited.)(Very excited.) Oh, oh, I’m so excited! I’m Oh, oh, I’m so excited! I’m attracted to the Christian life attracted to the Christian life because it offers me the because it offers me the forgiveness of sins, just like a forgiveness of sins, just like a sweater washed in Woolite. sweater washed in Woolite.

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Contestant 2:Contestant 2: As it says in As it says in Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us reason together,” says the reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” be like wool.”

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Contestant 1:Contestant 1: This is like the This is like the best thing that’s every best thing that’s every happened to me. happened to me.

Monty:Monty:But wait, that’s not all. But wait, that’s not all. To go with your Woolite, you To go with your Woolite, you also get what is behind the also get what is behind the curtain that Carol Merrill is curtain that Carol Merrill is showing you. Do you really showing you. Do you really want the blessing of want the blessing of forgiveness of sins? forgiveness of sins?

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Contestant 2:Contestant 2: Yes, we’ll take Yes, we’ll take it, we’ll take it!!it, we’ll take it!!

Monty:Monty:Carol, show what we Carol, show what we get to go along with our get to go along with our forgiveness of sins.forgiveness of sins.

(Curtain drops & Paul is (Curtain drops & Paul is there.)there.)

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Announcer:Announcer: Monty, to go Monty, to go with the forgiveness of sins, with the forgiveness of sins, represented by Woolite, we represented by Woolite, we Christians also get the Christians also get the recognition of sin in our lives, recognition of sin in our lives, as explained by the apostle as explained by the apostle Paul in the letter to the Paul in the letter to the Romans.Romans.

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Paul:Paul: I do not understand I do not understand what I do. For what I want to what I do. For what I want to do I do not do. I know that do I do not do. I know that nothing good lives in me. For I nothing good lives in me. For I have the desire to do what is have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. good, but I cannot carry it out. (Cont’d)(Cont’d)

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Paul: Paul: (Cont’d) (Cont’d) For what I do is For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. What a this I keep on doing. What a wretched man I am! Who will wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of rescue me from this body of death? death?

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Contestant 1:Contestant 1: Hey, that’s kind Hey, that’s kind of a downer. of a downer.

Contestant 2:Contestant 2: Yeah, we were Yeah, we were zonked!zonked!

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Paul:Paul: Wait, I’m not done. Wait, I’m not done. Who will rescue me from this Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! Lord! (Audience cheers & (Audience cheers & Contestants look satisfied.)Contestants look satisfied.)

Monty:Monty:(Goes to next (Goes to next contestants.)contestants.) And who do we And who do we have here?have here?

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Contestant 3:Contestant 3: I’m Sally Sullen.I’m Sally Sullen.

Contestant 4:Contestant 4: And I’m Sammy And I’m Sammy Sullen. We’re in search of Sullen. We’re in search of happiness.happiness.

Monty:Monty:Jay, what do we have Jay, what do we have for Sally and Sammy? for Sally and Sammy?

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Announcer:Announcer: Monty, we have Monty, we have a Sam’s Club size bottle of a Sam’s Club size bottle of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup, Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup, happiness in a bottle, because happiness in a bottle, because everything tastes better with everything tastes better with a little Chocolate syrup on it. a little Chocolate syrup on it. Priced at just $6.95.Priced at just $6.95.

Monty:Monty:And we all know the And we all know the blessing of happiness that blessing of happiness that goes with the Christian life!goes with the Christian life!

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Contestant 3:Contestant 3: As Psalms 40:16 As Psalms 40:16 says, “But may all who seek says, “But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you rejoice and be glad in you!”you!”

Contestant 4:Contestant 4: Why, I’m happier Why, I’m happier already!already!

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Monty:Monty:And to go along with And to go along with your syrup, you also get what your syrup, you also get what is behind the curtain that is behind the curtain that Carol Merrill is standing by.Carol Merrill is standing by.

Contestant 3:Contestant 3: Hmm. I don’t Hmm. I don’t know. know.

Monty:Monty:Rejoice evermore…The Rejoice evermore…The joy of the Lord is your joy of the Lord is your strength…strength…

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Contestant 4:Contestant 4: We’ll take it! We’ll take it! We’ll take it!We’ll take it!

Monty:Monty:Carol, show the Carol, show the contestants what they get to contestants what they get to go along with the blessing of go along with the blessing of the joy of the Lord…the joy of the Lord…

(Curtain 2 opens, and it is (Curtain 2 opens, and it is Paul.)Paul.)

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Paul:Paul: I served the Lord with I served the Lord with great humility and with tears, great humility and with tears, although I was severely tested although I was severely tested by the plots of my enemies.by the plots of my enemies.

Contestant 3:Contestant 3: Tears? Plots? Tears? Plots?

Contestant 4:Contestant 4: We were We were zonked!zonked!

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Paul:Paul: I’m not done! Rejoice in I’m not done! Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!again: Rejoice!

Contestant 3:Contestant 3: Of course, Of course, Philippians 4:4! Philippians 4:4! (Contestants (Contestants look satisfied.)look satisfied.)

Monty:Monty:(Walks on to next (Walks on to next contestant.)contestant.) And who do we And who do we have here?have here?

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Contestant 5:Contestant 5: I’m Prosperity I’m Prosperity Patty.Patty.

Contestant 6:Contestant 6: And I’m And I’m Prosperity Pete. Prosperity Pete.

Contestant 5:Contestant 5: Name it and Name it and claim it! That’s our motto! claim it! That’s our motto!

Monty:Monty:Jay, what do we have Jay, what do we have for our contestants.for our contestants.

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Announcer:Announcer: Monty, pardon Monty, pardon me, but would you have any me, but would you have any Grey Poupon? But of course. Grey Poupon? But of course. Grey Poupon: so fine, it’s Grey Poupon: so fine, it’s made with wine. Grey Poupon: made with wine. Grey Poupon: one of life’s finest pleasures! one of life’s finest pleasures! Priced at $4.99.Priced at $4.99.

Contestant 5:Contestant 5: Yes, yes, I’ve Yes, yes, I’ve arrived! arrived!

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Contestant 6:Contestant 6: I’m a Grey I’m a Grey Poupon Christian! Poupon Christian!

Monty:Monty:And to go with your And to go with your Grey Poupon, Carol Merrill is Grey Poupon, Carol Merrill is standing in front of a curtain standing in front of a curtain that has…that has…

Contestant 5:Contestant 5: A Rolls Royce? A Rolls Royce? A beamer? A paid-off home A beamer? A paid-off home mortgage? mortgage?

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Contestant 6:Contestant 6: We’ll take it! We’ll take it! We’ll take it!We’ll take it!

(Curtain drops & Paul is (Curtain drops & Paul is there.)there.)

Announcer:Announcer: Monty, to go Monty, to go with the prosperity of the with the prosperity of the Christian life, we get…Christian life, we get…

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Contestant 5:Contestant 5: Oh no, not him Oh no, not him again!again!

Announcer:Announcer: Yes, Paul, the Yes, Paul, the tent maker.tent maker.

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Paul:Paul: I have worked much I have worked much harder, been in prison more harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five death again and again. Five times I received the forty times I received the forty lashes minus one. Three times lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked. shipwrecked. (Cont’d)(Cont’d)

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Paul: (Cont’d)Paul: (Cont’d) I have been I have been constantly on the move. I have constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, been in danger from rivers, bandits, my own countrymen, bandits, my own countrymen, and Gentiles; in danger in the and Gentiles; in danger in the city, the country, and at sea. I city, the country, and at sea. I have labored and toiled and have labored and toiled and gone without sleep; I have gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.I have been cold and naked.

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Contestant 6:Contestant 6: Hey, where’s the Hey, where’s the Rolls? The beamer? The paid-Rolls? The beamer? The paid-off home mortgage? off home mortgage?

Paul:Paul: Pass the Grey Poupon. Pass the Grey Poupon. (Smiles.)(Smiles.)

Contestant 5:Contestant 5: Where is the Where is the blessing?blessing?

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Paul:Paul: Blessing? In everything Blessing? In everything I did, I showed you that by this I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to blessed to give than to receive.’receive.’

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Monty:Monty:Looks like our time is Looks like our time is just about up. We only have just about up. We only have time for some quick deals. I’ll time for some quick deals. I’ll give $100 for every battery give $100 for every battery anyone has on them anyone has on them (all (all contestants reach for contestants reach for microphones).microphones). And don’t And don’t touch the microphones.touch the microphones.

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(Energizer Bunny steps up and (Energizer Bunny steps up and produces pack of batteries.)produces pack of batteries.)

Monty:Monty:Of course, the Of course, the energizer Bunny…er a lab rat…energizer Bunny…er a lab rat…

Announcer:Announcer: Energizer, the Energizer, the battery that keeps running battery that keeps running and running and running, and running and running, symbolizes the desire for a symbolizes the desire for a long life.long life.

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Monty:Monty:Which of course goes Which of course goes with what Carol Merrill has with what Carol Merrill has behind the curtain…behind the curtain…

Energizer Rat:Energizer Rat: Hey, I’m all Hey, I’m all about a longer life…will Christ about a longer life…will Christ do that for me?do that for me?

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Monty:Monty:Carol?Carol?

(Curtain drops & Paul is (Curtain drops & Paul is there.)there.)

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Announcer:Announcer: Monty, to go Monty, to go with the Energizer Batteries with the Energizer Batteries and the long life we desire, we and the long life we desire, we present the blessing Paul left present the blessing Paul left with the young Ephesian with the young Ephesian church—recorded by Luke in church—recorded by Luke in Acts 20:32--as he left them for Acts 20:32--as he left them for what he thought would be the what he thought would be the last time prior to going to last time prior to going to Jerusalem.Jerusalem.

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Paul:Paul: Now I commit you to Now I commit you to God and to the word of his God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance and give you an inheritance among all those who are among all those who are sanctified.sanctified.

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Energizer Rat:Energizer Rat: That’s it? He That’s it? He spent three years ministering spent three years ministering to the Ephesians, with whom to the Ephesians, with whom he had an intimate, tender, he had an intimate, tender, relationship. relationship. (Cont’d)(Cont’d)

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Energizer Rat: Energizer Rat: (Cont’d)(Cont’d) They They are young in the Lord, they are young in the Lord, they live in a pagan Greek culture, live in a pagan Greek culture, they are under attack from they are under attack from heresies within and outside, heresies within and outside, and they have limited access and they have limited access to God’s word because—let’s to God’s word because—let’s face it—in those days not face it—in those days not everyone had 24/7 access to a everyone had 24/7 access to a Bible.Bible.

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Paul:Paul: Blessing a young Blessing a young church is like baptizing a church is like baptizing a young child. We don’t know young child. We don’t know everything the world will everything the world will throw at them, but it is throw at them, but it is enough that we commit them enough that we commit them to God, the word of his grace, to God, the word of his grace, and the great inheritance that and the great inheritance that comes with belonging to the comes with belonging to the family of God.family of God.

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Monty:Monty:Look’s like that’s it for Look’s like that’s it for our show. Until next time, our show. Until next time,

Everyone:Everyone: God bless… God bless…