1

DEFINE “BULLYING”

Negative behavior that is repeated and is

intentional by someone who thinks he/she has

more power (older, bigger, smarter, better than…)

2

TYPES OF BULLYING

• Exclusion

• Put downs

• Intimidation

• Unwanted physical contact

3

TEASING VS BULLYING

TEASING: Likeable, playful, pat on back,

sign you are liked/accepted, POSITIVE

BULLYING: Assault, power trip, destroying, intimidating, cowardly, attack, NEGATIVE

4

HOW ARE BULLIES DIFFERENT?

• 60-70% never involved w/bullying• Starts at early age• Hurts him/herself• Become Antisocial Adults• They think others are hostile• They may be desperate

5

HOW TARGETSARE DIFFERENT?

• More sensitive, cautious, quieter

• More anxious or nervous

• Avoid confrontation; cry when attacked

• May not do well in gym or front of class

• Submission when picked on

• Smaller, overweight, skinny, old clothes

6

Bully vs.Target

• Bullying hurts

• Social isolation most damaging to bully and to target

• Leads to loneliness

• Leads to disliking school

• Leads to depression

7

PROBLEM

Too many students

are being bullied!

8

CAUSES OF PROBLEM

• Because bully can get away with it!

• Bully may want to feel superior

• Bully may want the attention

• Bully may want payback

• Bully may have been bullied

• Bully may want to feel accepted

• Bully is not liked

9

PEOPLE INVOLVED

• Bully

• Target

• ByStander

GOALS

To have ByStanders Become UpStanders

To have Targets prepared

10

SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEM

• Train ByStanders to be UpStanders

• Train Targets

This is what we will do today!

11

How ByStanders Can Help

S-A-F-ES - STOP bully, if you can (#1 concern is SAFETY for everyone

A - Get ADULT quickly

F - FACE UP to the bully

E - EMPOWER target by siding with and helping where possible

12

Why ByStanders Don’t Help

• “It’s none of my business.”• Fear of getting hurt or becoming victim• Feel powerless to stop bully• Doesn’t like the target • Believes target deserves it• Don’t want to draw attention to self• Fear revenge• Afraid to tell adults• Don’t know what to do

TV: What would you do?

13

ByStander May Experience

• Pressure to participate in the bullying

• Fear of speaking to anyone about it

• Powerless to stop bullying

• Fear of being victimized also

• Fear of helping target or associating with

• Guilt for not helping

14

POTENTIAL TARGETS

Know your buttons:

• hair color

• size: small, overweight, skinny

• cries easily, looks scared

• shy, quiet

• racial/ethnic difference

• wrong crowd, wrong clothes, etc.

15

WHEN BUTTON PUSHED

• Ignore bully

• Try to diffuse with humor

• Speak up to defend yourself

• If possible, leave area immediately

Remember: you give control if you whimper or cry.

Doing nothing means that you win and they lose because you stayed in control!

16

PLAN FOR NEXT TIME

• It is most important to be SAFE!!

• Winning is NOT who is best at put downs

• Winning is taking care of your own emotions

17

BE ASSERTIVE

SHAKE HANDS1. Passive

2. Weak

3. Assertive

4. Pushy

5. Aggressive

18

BULLY MAGNET

• Head down• Shoulders slumped• Face scared• Eyes down• Voice weak

19

MORE ASSERTIVENESS

• Look directly at bully

• Shoulders back

• Head up

• Speak with strength

20

BULLY-PROOFING

G-I-F-T

GET AWAY

IGNORE if possible

STAND UP for yourself

TELL adult

21

REMEMBER

S-A-F-E

G-I-F-T