7/30/2019 08 NLP Lesson 05
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Lesson 5
Introducing Perceptual positions:
Much of NLP involves looking at things in a different way to get
a
different perspective. This enables us to understand other
people's maps
of reality and to enrich our own. Thus we gain greater
mutual
understanding, create rapport and achieve better communication,
with all
its associated benefits.
You met the terms 'associated' and 'dissociated' in lesson 2. In
an
associated experience you see through your own eyes and it feels
like
actually experiencing the event yourself. In a dissociated
experience you
see yourself as an external observer would. These two
perspectives
represent subjective or objective ways of thinking about
something. They
relate respectively to the first person ('I') and third person
('he, she,
them') forms of speech we use in everyday language. And we term
these
different viewpoints perceptual positions.
PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS 1st, 2nd, 3rd and Nth:
You can look at any experience in at least three ways...
1st Perceptual Position
The first position, or 'associated viewpoint', represents your
own
subjective point of view - 'How does this affect me?' When
remembering an
experience in this way you will see things as if through your
own eyes.
In particular you will recall the inner feelings associated with
it. Think
back to an important event in your life, such as meeting someone
for the
first time, starting a new job, or whatever. Associate with the
memory,
using all modalities (Representational systems), then describing
such an
experience we tend to use appropriate first-person language,
such as 'I
feel', 'the way I see things', and so on. This perceptual
position
equates to personal 'consciousness'. Do you know, for instance,
whether
the colour 'red' means the same to somebody else? Objective
scientists
usually mistrust this subjective state (which partly explains
the slow
progress in cognitive science and understanding the human
mind).
Conversely, we cannot think wholly objectively from an
associated, first
perceptual position.
Second Perceptual Position
The second perceptual position views an experience from the
position of
the other party to a communication or event - an interested
party. From
this perspective, you start to understand how the other person
feels. Inany communication or mutual experience people perceive
things
differently. We saw this in the presupposition: 'The map is not
the
territory.' By projecting yourself into the other person's map
of reality
you get an important new perspective. To do this, imagine
stepping inside
someone else's skin and experiencing the world as they do.
Listen to
'you' and notice the response. We associate this perceptual
position with
empathy, or 'putting yourself into the other person's shoes'.
The skill
of taking second position will give you far more accurate
information than
just wondering how a person feels. Conflict in a communication
or a
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relationship usually calls for a second perceptual position on
the matter.
When you understand better how the other person sees and feels
things,
your own feelings will probably change. Your changed attitude to
the
person will then tend to increase rapport. So they will also
change. And
the increased rapport will in turn make it easier for you to see
their
point of view. A perceptual position 'switch' can start a
positive spiral
of better communication. Behaviour that seems wrong or strange
can take
on new meaning when you perceive it from the other person's
point of view.
In fact most of the time each of us believes that we act
rightly,
sensibly, normally - with good reason. To genuinely take on
a
second-person position means that you begin to understand the
validity of
perspectives different from your own. You can also begin to
under-stand
the real purpose behind another person's actions or words (which
they
themselves may not have identified). And this might give the key
to the
right communication to bring about your own outcome, through
them. Of
course, we can never fully understand the subjective
consciousness of
another person. NLP does not offer psychic gifts. But it can
take you a
long way towards seeing things as another person does, whether
you agree
with them or not. To take different perceptual positions
requires an
imaginative 'as if ' skill that anyone can develop, with
practice. Evenvery small children use their fertile imaginations to
empathize with
suffering siblings and friends. For most of us, the skill of
taking the
second perceptual position involves removing mental blinkers
and
unlearning long-established thinking patterns. But, with
practice, we can
all revive some latent, natural empathy.
Third and Nth Perceptual Positions
When using the third perceptual position to view an experience.
you act as
a complete outsider or third party, and not direct party to
the
communication - like the classic, wholly objective, independent,
'fly on
the wall'. You take the disinterested scientific viewpoint, the
role of
the impartial observer. You distance yourself from the action
and the key
players, stand back and observe. This position can represent
any
perspective other than those of the parties to the
communication. For
example, you could adopt the viewpoint of a consultant, parent,
casual
observer, school teacher, and so on - to the nth degree. Ask
yourself.
'What would it look like to so-and-so?' This way, you can open
up infinite
viewpoints.
Each position has its own importance. It simply differs from the
others,
giving different meaning in different contexts and
circumstances.
Together, the viewpoints will give a comprehensive perception of
any
experience. Although identified as distinct perceptual
positions, in
practice we tend to move from one to the other without
consciously doing
anything other than 'thinking about' an issue. Having said this,
some
people will have a preference or aptitude for one way of
thinking. Aperson who tends to view things in a detached,
objective, impersonal,
abstract way will feel at home with the third perceptual
position. A
person who can easily empathize with another person and 'feel
for them'
will naturally take a second-person position. And a person who
seems to
dwell only on their own subjective experience instinctively
takes the
first perceptual position. You can extend your skills to develop
all three
perspectives, match those used by other people, and thus create
better
rapport. Experienced salespeople, negotiators and counsellors
readily use
each position in their work. As well as the communication
benefits,
