GENDER ISSUES: MEN ARE NOT ANIMALS, WOMEN ARE NOT ANGELS

International year for the empowerment of women is behind us, or so I understand. Why it

was there at all, I do not know; nor do I know whether that was the last year for the

empowerment of women. One has heard of ‘stooping to conquer’ but ‘cribbing to conquer’?

But that seems to be what is precisely happening with our feminists. They seem to be amoung

those who think they can have the cake and eat it too!

But before I proceed further I need to introduce myself, lest some FCBs try to dismiss these

views as that of an MCP. First of all, let me assure you that I am not an MCP. You’ll find the

views expressed here are based on solid facts and not mere opinions. I believe that you are

either fair or not fair, there cannot be degrees of fairness. I am fair and expect others to be fair

too. Similarly, you can be either reasonable or not reasonable. I am reasonable and expect the

readers of this column to be reasonable too. The views expressed here are for the

consumption of the fair and the reasonable.

Let me begin by asking one simple question- is there anything like equality, as we understand

it, in God’s scheme of things? The answer is, and will remain, a definite NO! Leave alone

women being equal to men, are all men equal or for that matter, are all women equal? Then

why all this hue and cry for equality of women with men? As Ms Homai Vyarawala

(reportedly, the first Indian woman photojournalist) put it ‘if you are a girl, you do not have

to behave like a man to be successful’!

But it is in God’s scheme of things that men and women have to be mutually dependent, if

only to carry life forward and if only at the basest level of sexual procreation and/or

recreation. Of course, every society has its norms, and rules too for that matter, and it is not

my farthest intention to question their very purpose. But I would definitely like to ask

whether these norms and rules have served the purpose for which they have been created. A

realistic assessment of ground realities brings forth only one answer- NO! The urge to remain

attractive to the members of the opposite sex is as strong in the females as in the males and if

not all, atleast the majority of sexual harassment cases would disappear if there were no

social taboos associated with sex outside marriage. And here, I agree, the females are at a

disadvantage, but I must add, only because of their ignorance. Those of them who do not

know about birth control methods often stand exposed of their escapades and this is what

hurts. The educated lot are not bothered and do not seem to have any qualms about tasting the

forbidden fruit and sorting out incidental complications with visits to abortion clinics. I am

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sure I do not have to quote statistics to prove my point here. And it is not a new phenomenon

either. Examples abound even in our mythologies. The story of Kunti and Karna being

amoung the most poignant ones. Incidently, it is believed that it was Yudhishtira’s curse on

his mother, Kunti, for hiding the truth of Karna being the eldest Pandava prince, that resulted

in women not being able to hide their pregnancy!

Take sex out of man-women relations and it can be easily seen that all this babble about

discrimination of the fairer (?) sex is just that- mere babble! An objective look at the rules,

norms and practices in our society will show that our society is definitely biased, and quite

strongly at that, in favour of the women folk. For example, when a she-writer writes porn

and makes her millions she is complimented for being liberated but when a he-writer uses

similar terms he is a bawdy old sardar! When a dream girls and screen sirens have affairs

with married men and beget their children there is not a word of protest from the crusaders

but when a man talks freely about his love for the opposite sex he is immoral!

To get to more serious allegations of domestic violence. We are all familiar with the mother-

in-law/daughter-in-law conflicts and sister-in-law/sister-in-law conflicts. And the causes in

both have been traced to the selfishness/ sense of insecurity of the women folk concerned.

The mother/sister of the boy not wanting to share the boy’s love with his new wife (and ditto

with the wife too in the other direction!), little realizing that love does not get diluted by

sharing. Isn’t it surprising that such problems have never been heard of in the father-in-

law/daughter-in-law and brother-in-law/sister-in-law contexts? Going further, I seriously

wonder why is it that women who profess such love for their children and claim to be the

ultimate best influence on them during their formative years (haven’t you heard the familiar

line in various child-custody cases in our courts?) renounce their responsibility/ disown him

when he refuses to be just mama’s boy?

Suffice to say that the discriminations alleged by the feminists are either non-existant or are

of their own creation only. Not that discriminations are not there. But whatever

discriminations are there apply to both the sexes. And at times it may be gender based too,

because of the human factor involved. But then these discriminations can work in favour of

women as much as against them, as they could work in favour of men as much as against

them! And what more examples are required than that of an illiterate women lording it over

as Chief Minister of one of the strongest patriarchial societies in the north of the country and

another woman, in the South, at whose feet even the Chief Minister would prostrate

unabashedly, in public display of servility of the worst kind in a democratic society?

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Yes, there are plenty of reforms needed in our systems. But as it is, there is no denying the

fact that our systems are more female-friendly than could be asked for. And here too there are

examples from the real world.

Firstly, when the menace of throwing stones at running trains became a serious issue,

particularly in the Central Railway part of the suburban network in Mumbai, it was decided to

have wire meshes on all windows. And how did the railway authorities go about it? Not rake

by rake, as should be expected. The meshes were first put up on the ladies only coaches in all

trains, then on the first class coaches and only in the last phase were the general

compartments provided with the protective meshes. Till this date I keep wondering whether

the missiles let loose by misguided elements had any sensors fitted on them so that it did not

hurt the passengers in the overcrowded general (read, male) compartments.

Secondly, even the Union Finance Minister, while doling out tax rebates, has given an extra

rebate of Rs 5000.00 to women tax-payers. The gross injustice of this would be understood

only if one realizes the fact that even today it is considered primarily the man’s job to earn the

bread for his family (exceptions granted!) and the woman’s is generally an additional source

of income. So the only logical thing would have been to give extra concession to single

income families or to consider the family income for tax purposes. But no, who will listen to

logic when the issue is gender discrimination?

And wouldn’t you be surprised to know that some of the penal provisions in our laws are not

applicable to the oppressed sex? And I am not talking about any archaic laws. The Consumer

Protection Act was enacted only in 1986. And the only remedy, provided in the Act, to the

aggrieved party is to be compensated monetarily for his/her losses. And the

Forum/Commission ordering this compensation can only enforce its orders under the threat of

arrest. But an archaic law states that women cannot be arrested in cases involving recovery of

money. And atleast one of our judges, a male at that, in one of our Hon’ble High Courts, has

held that this law is applicable even while enforcing the orders of the Consumer Disputes

Redressal Forum, thus effectively making the penal provisions of the CPA not applicable to

half the population! In other words, our law gives a free license for women to cheat with

impunity and get away with it!

Now tell me, who is the oppressed sex in this country?

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All those arguments apart, this rejoinder, to many an article/report appearing in the press

these days, would be incomplete if I did not highlight the positive aspects of man-woman

relationship. To my mind the roles are both supplementary and complimentary. The need is

not there for competition but for understanding. It is said that a house is built of bricks but a

home is built of hearts. Working women may be adding to the kitty at home which may in

turn help to collect a few more objects of luxury but how much of their heart they can put in

to build the home is really a question that every working women has to ask and answer

herself. Domestic chores are not petty or demeaning. And if you really thought about it, it is

the small things at home that make a world of a difference for everyone in his/her life. The

problems of key-hole children (children who come home from school to open the doors of

their houses themselves and spent long lonely hours there till their working parents come

home tired after toiling in their offices throughout the day, hardly getting any time to spent

with them) have been a subject of many serious studies and the results are not exactly

encouraging. And what for? Isn’t money saved, money earned? Also is there any limit to

human needs? So where will all this lead to? I, for one, believe that to achieve something one

must look up at people who are better off than oneself, but to be happy it is important to look

at those who are worse off than us. No, there is no trace of sadism, or happiness in the plight

of the under-privileged but a certain thankfulness to the powers above for the privileges, in

whatever modest measure, that have been given to me. And particularly in this country there

are millions who have to go to bed without even having had a square meal through out the

day. And there are rulers and administrators who dismiss starvation deaths as malicious

propaganda and claim that mango kernels had enough nutrients and so long as there was

enough mango kernels for the poor to keep the wolf at bay there could never be starvation

deaths! Yes, finally it all boils down to our people in power who find it is easier to cling to

power by continuing with the divide and rule policy of the colonisers. War cries based on

gender could be yet another way to keep the people at each other’s throats so that they can

continue with their own devious purposes.

So, all I can say is, citizens beware! Thankfully, as of now, the majority are not hardliners.

Nevertheless, the way fissiparous tendencies seem to be creeping up from everywhere, it is

better to be aware and be wary!

P M Ravindran,

pmravindran@rediffmail.com

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