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Character building: Respect Responsibility Cooperation Courage Self esteem
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謝麥寶霞婚姻及家庭治療師
Protect and Prepare our children to survive and thrive in this society and serve God
Character building:Respect
ResponsibilityCooperation
CourageSelf esteem
Control
Leader’s Guide: page 34 SLIDES 12a-b
Power = 100%
1% < Power < 100%Influence
SUCCESSFULFAMILIES Handle their problems Handle their problems
and learn from themand learn from them
UNSUCCESSFULFAMILIES
Make problems worse Make problems worse and don’t learn how to and don’t learn how to improveimprove
Leader’s Guide: page 48 SLIDE 18
Leader’s Guide: page 49 SLIDES 19a-b
WhoWho Owns the Problem?
TEENTEENADULTADULT
ProvideDiscipline
ProvideSupport
Who is the problem behavior directly affecting?
Whose goals are being blocked?
Does the problem involve health, safety, or family values?
Is the problem one that you can reasonably expect your teen to solve?
Leader’s Guide: page 50 SLIDE 20
Dictators DEMAND cooperation.Doormats HOPE for cooperation.Active parents WIN cooperation.
Leader’s Guide: pages 52-53 SLIDE 21a-c
MutualRespect Participation
Two or more people working togetherin a mutually supportive manner
for a common goal
Leader’s Guide: page 54 SLIDE 22
Who Owns the Problem?TEENTEENADULTADULT
ProvideDiscipline
ProvideSupport
Avoid communication blocks
Let teen handle, but offer support using
Active Communication
The road to cooperation is paved with good communication.
The Three Channels: Words Tone of voice Nonverbal cues: body language
and facial expressionLeader’s Guide: pages 54-55 SLIDES 23a-b
Leader’s Guide: page 57 SLIDE 24
Any words, tone of voice, or body languagethat influences a person sharing a problem
to end the communication
COMMANDING
CRITICIZING
DistractingNegative ExpectationsInterrogating
Sarcasm
Moralizing
Psychologizing
Placating
Being a know-it-all
Focusing on Mistakes
Advising
Perfectionism
Leader’s Guide: pages 58-59 SLIDES 25a-d
Courage =The confidence to take a known risk
for a known purpose.
Courage positive action success
Discouragement negative action failure
En-couragement positive action success
Avoid dis-couraging!
Leader’s Guide: page 60 SLIDE 26
“One thing I like about you is _________.”
Be direct. Be specific. Be sincere. Say, “Thank you.”
Leader’s Guide: page 62 SLIDE 27
5. Follow up later.
1. Listen actively.
2. Listen for feelings.
3. Look for alternatives/evaluate consequences.
4. Offer encouragement.
“People don’t care how much you know—until they know how much you care.”
— John C. Maxwell
Leader’s Guide: pages 62-63 SLIDES 28a-b
1. Attention
2. Acknowledgement
3. Empathy
Four ways to offer encouragement to teens:
1. Focus on strengths.
2. Show confidence.
3. Stimulate independence.
4. Value who they are.
Leader’s Guide: page 66 SLIDE 30