“All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”

Four of the five skills educators (NRC, 2000) emphasize for school readiness are socio-emotional:- mastery of educational building blocks- motivation to succeed in school- ability to get along & make friends- ability to function in a group- capacity to manage emotions

In EssenceBeing intelligent about emotions means that we can perceive and use emotions to create optimal relationships and produce desired outcomes.

Emotional Intelligence• Seen as the fundamental key to success and

leadership - and it can be learned!

• Working with people– Not just about being nice– Managing one’s own emotions– Ability to handle encounters– Teamwork– Leadership

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time.• It is about being honest.

Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.”• It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of

others.

Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional.• It is about being smart with your emotions.

Emotional intelligenceIt is different way of being smartIt includes knowing what your feelings are and using your feelings to make good decisions in life.And it’s a social skill- getting along with other people, managing emotions in relationships, being able to persuade or lead others.

Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence is

the ability of an individual to deal successfully with other people , to manage one’s self, motivate other people, understand one's own feelings and appropriately respond to the everyday environment

It involves various skillsSelf awarenessManaging emotions.MotivationEmpathySocial skills

Can it be learnt at any ageThe answer is yesYou can upgrade your skill at any stage of your lifeIn fact age and maturity are positively correlated with EQEmotional intelligence skills are making us effective in life challenges and useful for everybody.Useful for everyone who want to be happy and effective in life.

“We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.”

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Working with

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional IntelligenceIn Working with Emotional Intelligence, author Daniel Goleman defines EI in the workplace as the ability of employees to recognize: Their own feelings

The feelings of others

What motivates them

How to manage their emotions, both in themselves and in relationships with others

Remember!

Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time.• It is about being honest.

Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.”• It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of

others.

Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional.• It is about being smart with your emotions.

EQ is the distinguishing factor that help us to maintain a warm relationship or a distant contacts.

The Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Regulation

• Self-Motivation

• Empathy

• Effective Relationships

Relate to Ourselves

Relate to Others

The "New Yardstick"

• On how we handle ourselves and each other• Goes beyond intellectual ability and technical

skills• Focuses on personal qualities such as

initiative, empathy, adaptability, persuasiveness

Simple Definition

Ability to manage emotions in one’s self and in others in order to reach desired outcomes.

Goleman’s Competencies Model

4 inter-related abilities

• Perceiving,• Using, • Understanding, and• Managing emotions

Understand Emotions

• Recognizes what events are likely to trigger different emotions

• Knows that emotions can combine to form complex blends of feelings

• Realizes that emotions can progress over time and transition from one to another

• Provides a rich emotional vocabulary for greater precision in describing feelings and blends of feelings

What Does “Use Emotion” Entail?

• The capacity to generate and feel an emotion in order to focus attention, reason, and communicate.

• The capacity to use emotion to influence cognitive processes such as decision making, deductive reasoning, creativity, and problem solving.

Manage Emotions

• Stay open to feelings• Blend emotions with thinking• Reflectively monitor emotions

“If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well.”

Christine CasperCommunication, Motivation

& Management Inc.

Practicing Self-Regulation:• Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional

responses.

• Learn to “reframe” stressful situations into ones that are challenging.

• Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional “triggers.”

Definition Hallmark

Self Awareness

The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives as well as their effects on others

Self-confidenceRealistic Self developmentSelf-deprecating sense of humor

Self-Regulation

The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods. The propensity to suspend judgement to think before acting

Trustworthiness & integrityComfort with ambiguityOpenness to change

MotivationA passion to work for reasons that go beyond money or statusThe propensity to suspend judgement –to think before acting

Strong drive to achieveOptimism, even in the face of failureOrganizational commitment

EmpathyThe ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions

Expertise in building and retaining talentCross-cultural sensitivityService to clients and customers

Social SkillsProficiency in managing relationships and building networksAn ability to find common group & build rapport

Effectiveness in leading changePersuasivenessExpertise in building & leading teams

Components of Emotional Intelligence

“If people will stop for a moment and put themselves in another person’s shoes…it will help them modify their own behavior. It will help them develop relationshipswith those people.”

Darryl Grigg, Ed.D.Co-Developer,

American Express Emotional Competence Program

"And so there's a real pay-off.  The people who will become the leaders, the people who will become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in the key emotional intelligence abilities."

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Founder,

Emotional Intelligence Services

Practicing Empathy:

• Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as productivity and safety.

• Empathy means recognizing, and responding appropriately to, the emotions of others.

• By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others.

How then can one improve emotional intelligence?

Pay attention to self and other’s body language

Listen more; speak less- develops empathy

Get curious, not furious- Watch what you say especially when frustrated or annoyed. Reframe negative emotions into curiosity - " ... this makes absolutely no sense to me" can be replaced with, "Do you see something in this that I must be missing”

Elicit pride in others – Reason for working together

Remember that emotions are contagious - A dominant person's emotions (negative or positive) always influences others. Leaders should be careful to show only those emotions, which they want to see in others

Empathy