Inland Valley Our Times

Family night traditions strengthen ties. .

Wether you have toddlers, teensor kids any age in between,"family night" is a fun way tobring everyone together. Several localfamilies shared with me creative andsometimes unusual practices that bringtheir busy family members together forthis special night.

Some traditions or their variationswere passed down from generation togeneration, while others were morerecent additions, some created by familymembers.

The Sievers family of Pomona consistsof parents Kirk and Debbie, and Kristen,19, Ryan 17, and Becka, 9. The Sievershave observed family night since theirchildren were young, but adapted theirroutine Over the years to fit the needs ofthe qrowinq children.

When the children were young, fami-ly night was celebrated religiously everySaturday, with a variety of activities fromMovie Night to Talent Time. On MovieNight, the family would turn the livingroom into a movie theater by dimmingthe lights, serving popcorn and following"usher" Kristen to their seats.Talent Time was a mix of singing and

acting, in full costume, under Kristen'sdirection. On Picnic Night, the familyenjoyed picnic favorites like chicken andlemonade while sitting on a blanket inthe living room. Everyone dressed up inkimonos on Japanese Night and ateJapanese food while sitting on pillowsaround the coffee table. And, on GameNight, the Sievers played favorite gameslike "Candy Land" or simple card gameslike "go fish."

"We 'were always trying to think ofdifferent things to come up with,"Debbie said.

Most of the family's entertainmentwas simple and inexpensive, likeevenings when Kirk played guitar andeveryone sang camp songs, or takingtrips to Mclzonald's for ice cream.

"Just the waiting and anticipation ofit was fun," Debbie remembered.

A popular summer activity was tour-ing locations of special interest to Kirkand Debbie, who both grew up in LaVerne. Favorite destinations were theiralma maters, the hospitals they wereborn in and the homes of their grandpar-ents.

Saturday was chosen because it was"more easygoing," according to Debbie,allowing time for the children to helpher make a simple dessert, like puddingor ice cream with different toppings. Thenight's activity was picked at random, inthe morning~om a jar containing sub-------~~----------~

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missions from various family members.Around age 7, Kristen began using

her artistic talents to create intricate pro-grams and menus to go along with thetheme of the night.

"It's something she really got into,"Debbie recalled. _

Kristen now is a student at Mt. SanAntonio College and remembers makingup menus and helping her mom cookdinner.

"When I was little it was something Ilooked forward to," she said, "becausethat was the time my family got to spendtogether and it was fun because duringthe week we were so busy. "

Kristen feels that family night broughther closer to her parents and siblings.

"My dad used to work a lot duringthe week," she said, "and Saturday hewas home and we got to see him, too. Itwas nice because we weren't doinghomework on Saturday and we didn'thave to be anywhere. It was nice to kickback and have fun. "

As the children got older and becameinvolved in other activities, the familyadjusted. For example, when Kristenwas on the drill team in high school,family night often consisted of packing apicnic dinner and going to the game as afamily to support her.

Today, Kristen is sometimes busy onfamily night, but often she and herfiance, Brad Paulson, join the Sievers forfamily activities like eating out or rent-ing movies.

"I can really see that because wealways did that with our children, theygrow up and make it a part of their life,too. They really cling to it," Debbie said."Everybody gets a lot of joy out of it. Wereally see with our kids how close every-body was and still is."

For the Frenken family of Upland -Steve and Terri, Matthew 17, Jeffrey, 14,and Katie-Lynne, 11 - family night is atime of relaxation and togetherness eachFriday.

"Friday night now is our regrouptime," Terri said. "Everyone's exhaustedfrom school. We order pizza, pick outvideos and we veg."

In past years Terri and the kids madepizza from scratch, but now, she says,"everybody's too tired and wants tocrash."

For variety, the family sometimesplays games or rents video games. Katieespecially likes to play card games likespeed or gin rummy, which she pickedup from her grandmother.

The Hyatt family of Diamond Bar -Jim and Marie, Amber, 10, and Sarah, 6- celebrate family night about once amonth, with either Game Night or RudeNight.

On Rude Night family members areencouraged to be as sloppy as possibleduring dinner. No utensils or napkinsare allowed, throwing of food is pre-ferred over passing, blowing bubbles inmilk is OK and sloppy foods likespaghetti are served.

"We're totally slobs at the dinnertable," Marie said. "That way it gets allthe 'sloppies' out of people, especiallylittle people, so that they have to havegood manners the rest of the month. Forthe most part, the more sloppy nights wehave the more successful we are withmanners."

Jim Hyatt was resistant to the idea atfirst - actually "appalled," according toMarie, but now he can sling food withthe best of them. The girls especiallylook forward to Rude Night and fre-quently implore their parents to put it onthe monthly calendar.

"The kids look forward to it," Mariesaid. "It ensures that all four of us areparticipating in the same type of fun atthe same time, just because our sched-ules go every which way."

The more traditional Game Night is afavorite of the Diamond Bar Grant family- Greg and Betty, Kenneth, 8, Bronte, 3,and Kellan, 11 months. The traditionbegan in October when an 8-year-oldneighbor, Brianne, began coming over toplay while her parents attended highschool football games. Soon the Grantsand Brianne were playing "Trouble,""Monopoly" and "Life" every Fridaynight.

"It's something we definitely look for-ward to," Betty said. "It's a great time totease each other when we win and oneof them lost. It's just a great family time."

• VERONICA JAMES writes about family issuesfor Inland Valley Our Times. She can be reachedat veronicajames@mindspring.com.