Writing a Great CSI Essay | Yale-NUS College

Lastupdated29October2018

WritingaGreatCSIEssay

AnjuMaryPaulYale-NUSCollege

2018

TipsforWritingaGreatCSIEssay

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Introduction/HowtoUsethisGuideComparativeSocialInquiryisakeypartofYale-NUSCollege’sCommonCurriculum.Taughtinstudents’firstsemesterattheCollege,thecourseintroducesstudentstoamultidisciplinary, social scientific approach to studying the social world andindividualhumanbehaviorwithin thisworld.Oneof thecourse’s specific learningobjectives is to teach students how to write social scientific papers based onsecondaryresearch.Thisobjectiverequiresastudenttolearnmultipleskills:1. Howtochooseanessaytopicandresearchquestionthatdirectlyaddressesthe

essayprompt,2. Howtoconductabibliographicsearchtosourcereliableandrelevantacademic

materialrelatedtothestudent’schosenresearchtopicandquestion,3. How towrite an academic essay that clearly states their topic and thesis, and

cogentlydefendstheirthesisusingthevariouspiecesofsecondaryresearchtheyhavecollected,and

4. Howtoproperlycitetheirsourcesbothin-textaswellasintheirbibliography.In order to help students achieve these writing outcomes, the CSI team workscloselywiththeYale-NUSLibraryandWriters’Centretomountworkshopsonsomeof the above topics. In the classroom, CSI faculty discusswriting strategies, shareadvicewithstudents,andalsoorganizein-classpeerreviewsessionsofessaydrafts.Outside the classroom, CSI faculty meet with students individually during officehourstotalkabouttheirpapers.Overtheyears,CSIfacultyhaveobservedthatfirst-year studentwriters tend to encounter similar issueswhen it comes towriting asocialscienceresearchpaper.Weoftenfindourselvesrepeatingthesameadvicetostudentsyearafteryear.ThisbookletisacompilationofthetipsandadvicewehavegivenpreviouscohortsofCSIstudents,alongsideanonymizedexcerptsofstudents’CSIessaysthroughtheyearstoprovideconcreteexamplesofwhattodoandwhatnottodowhenitcomesto social science writing.1The examples of great writing are in blue, while theexamplesofwritingthatneedadditionalworkareinorange.Allofuscanbenefitfromreadingothers’writingtolearnwhatworksandwhatdoesnot.SousethisguideinatargetedfashionasyouworkonyourownCSIessay.Youcanreaditfromstarttofinishifyoulike,oryoucanlookattheTableofContentsforspecificaspectsofessaywritingthatyoumaybestrugglingwith.Therearemanyadvancedacademicwritingtechniquesthatarenotcoveredinthisguide. As you become more comfortable with your writing, you will hopefullydevelopmore sophisticatedways to present and analyze secondary social scienceevidenceinyouressays.Butthisguideisauseful firstplacetostart,especiallyforstudentswhoarecompletelyunfamiliarwithacademicwritinginthesocialsciences.Happyreadingandwriting!

1Theexcerptshavebeeneditedtocorrectgrammaticalandcitationerrors.


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TableofContents

1. THEUNIQUENATUREOFACSIESSAY...................................................................................42. THECSIESSAYWRITINGPROCESS..........................................................................................53. CHOOSINGAGOODTOPIC............................................................................................................64. THEBASICSTRUCTUREOFANYCSIESSAY..........................................................................75. THEINTRODUCTORYPARAGRAPH..........................................................................................8

5.1. Startwithagoodhook...........................................................................................................85.2.Motivateyourpaper...............................................................................................................95.3. Theessentialelementsofyourintroductoryparagraph(s)...............................105.4. Thethesisstatementmustbeprecise.........................................................................12

6. BACKGROUNDTOANUNFAMILIARTOPICORPOPULATION...................................147. EVIDENCEINYOURESSAY........................................................................................................16

7.1. Provideevidencetosupporteveryclaimyoumake.............................................167.2. Showcasedifferenttypesofevidence..........................................................................177.3. Provide relevantmethodologicaldetailsof the research studiesyou

drawfrom................................................................................................................................187.4.Describeinsufficientdetailthekeyfindingsofstudiesyoucite.....................197.5. Considerrivalintrepretationsorcriticismsofyourevidence..........................207.6. EngagewithCSImaterial..................................................................................................217.7. Afteranalysingeachnewpieceofevidence,tieitbacktoyourthesis..........22

8. QUOTATIONS...................................................................................................................................24

8.1.When first drawing from an unfamiliar author’s work, introducethembriefly.............................................................................................................................24

8.2.When introducing a scholar, focus on the relevant parts of theirbiographythataddtotheirlegitimacy........................................................................25

8.3. Analyzethequotationbeforemovingontothenextpoint................................268.4.Donotbeoverlyreliantonquotationsfromotherscholars.............................27

9. CONCLUSIONS..................................................................................................................................2910. GENERALWRITINGRESOURCES.........................................................................................3011. SAMPLECSIESSAY......................................................................................................................31


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1. THEUNIQUENATUREOFACSIESSAY

YourCSIessay ismeant tobea social sciencepaperbasedonsecondaryresearchandgroundedinaspecificcasestudy.Thegoalofthiswritingassignmentistogivestudentsanopportunitytopracticebuildinganargument(their“thesis”)basedonevidence they have collected through bibliographic searches of the existingacademic literature and other valid sources of information (e.g. academic bookchapters,journalarticles,newspaperaccounts,governmentstatistics,CSIreadings,etc.)onthetopic/casestudyoftheirchoosing.CSIfacultywillbeassessinghowwellyouareabletopresentacoherent,defensibleanswer(their thesis) thatresponds to thequestionprompt,andhowwellyouareabletodefend/supportthisthesisthroughthemarshalingandanalysisofrelevantevidencedrawnfromyourbibliographicsearches.TheevidenceyourCSIessayreliesonisnotmeanttobeprimarydata(evidencethatyoucollectedfirsthandfromanoriginaldatasource).Instead,weareaskingyoutousesecondarydata(collectedandpublishedbysomeotherpersonforsomeotherpurpose,butthatisstillrelevanttoyourparticularargument).WewillalsoexpectyoutodrawonrelevantCSIreadingsthatcanhelpsubstantiateyourargument,orprovideaframeworkforapproachingyourtopic.A CSI essaymust be grounded in an empirical case study and use empirical data(drawnfromsecondarysources) tosupportyourthesis.What thismeans is thataCSI essay should not be a political philosophy essay that relies only on ideas anddeductiveornormativelogic.Instead,aCSIessayhastobearguedusingempiricalevidencedrawnfromjournalarticles,academicbooks,etc.Forexample,aCSIessayabout why people commit crimes might rely on statistical evidence about crimeratesindifferentpartsoftheworld,studiesthatanalyzevarioussocialfactorsthatencourageordiscouragecrime,ethnographiesofrepeatoffenders,etc.Incontrast,aphilosophyessayaboutwhypeoplecommitcrimemightfocusinsteadondifferentphilosophicaltraditionsthatoffervaryingaccountsofhumannature.


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2. THECSIESSAYWRITINGPROCESS

The CSI essay writing process begins with students choosing one of two writingpromptsprovidedbytheirprofessors.OnewritingpromptfrequentlyusedinCSIis:“Whatpartofourbehaviorandbeliefs,ifany,istrulyourown?Anchoryourpaperinaparticularcasestudyorpopulation.”Studentsmust next choose a topic/case study inwhich to anchor their essay. Forexampleastudentmightchoosetowriteaboutsmokingbehavior,orfashionchoices,orvotingpatterns.Oncetheyhavechosentheir topic,studentsshouldconductbibliographicresearchto locate relevantmaterial that speaks to their topic and the essay prompt. (TheYale-NUSLibraryoffersworkshopsonhowtomakeyourbibliographicsearchesasproductiveaspossible.)Afterreadingandreflectingonthismaterial,studentsshouldcraft theiranswertothe essay prompt. For instance, if they determine that our smoking behavior is acompletelyindependentchoicethateachofusmakesonourown,theywillneedtoidentify2-3argumentstosupportthisclaim.Oriftheydeterminethatoursmokingbehaviorisheavilyinfluencedbyvarioussocialfactors,theywillneedtoidentify2-3social factors to focuson in theiressaye.g. the influenceofpeers, the influenceofadvertising,theinfluenceofmovies,etc.Havingoutlined thebasic thrustof theiressay, theyarenow inagoodposition towrite their thesis statement on the degree of agency involved in an individual’sdecisiontopickupsmoking.


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3. CHOOSINGAGOODTOPIC

Given the relatively short word limit for CSI essays, choose a topic that is well-definedandcanbetackledwithin1500-2000words.Onewaytosetcertain limitsonyour topic is tochooseaparticularpopulation, timeperiod,orworldregion tofocuson.For example, K. chose to write about the ongoing popularity of smoking despitewidespread knowledge of its harmful effects, but he decided to only focus onsmoking patterns in the United States. This allowed K. to focus his bibliographicsearchestodataandstudiescomingoutofasinglecountryandapartoftheworldwhereasignificantamountofresearchonthistopichasalreadybeenconductedandpublished.Inhisintroductionparagraph,K.alsoindicatedthathewouldonlyfocuson “what draws people into a habit of smoking,” and not “what keeps smokerssmoking.”Inthismanner,heensuredthathewasabletoadequatelytacklethetopicinthelimitedword-spacehewasallotted.In contrast, another student, A., opted for a topic – terrorism - that is incrediblybroadandthenmadethefurthermistakeofnotsettinganylimitsonhisanalysisofthisphenomenon:

When facedwith acts of terror, one’s personal reaction is typically one of horror,moralrevulsionandcondemnation.Nonetheless,ourglobalwaragainstterrorismischaracterised by solidarity. A common trait across all these reactions is thecollectivedefence forourcommunalvalues,manyofwhichareeven transcendentbeyond national borders.Why dowe, around theworld, believe that terrorism issuchaprevalentthreattoeverysociety?

- TheDangerofFacelessTerrorists

Thisstudentistacklingatopicofgreatcurrentinterestbut,byaskingsuchabroadquestionwithoutsettingany limitsonhisanalysis,he isbeingbothtoovagueandtoo ambitious. It would have helped if this student had grounded his analysis ofreactions to terrorism in a particular country context, rather than “around theworld,”sothathecoulddigdeeperintothereasonswhypeoplereactthewaytheydotoactsofterrorism.Hecouldhavealsolimitedhisattentiontoaparticularkindofterrorism.Asitcurrentlystands,thescopeissolargethatitbecomesimpossibleforthestudenttoadequatelymakehiscase.


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4. THEBASICSTRUCTUREOFANYCSIESSAY

ACSIessayisapieceofacademic,notcreative,writing.Thismeansthatittendstohaveauniformstructure:

• Introduction (whichcontainsthe“hook”todrawinyourreader,motivatesthepaper, statesyour researchquestionand thesis/argument,andoutlineshowyouaregoingtobeprovingyourthesisiscorrect)

• Background (which provides the necessary context, statistics, or historyaboutyourcasestudy–thesocialphenomenon,policy,behaviorthat is thefocusoftheessay)

• 2-3BodySections(whicharetheparagraphsthatcontainthepointsyouaremaking to support your thesis and your analysis of the evidence you havefoundtosupportyourthesis.Eachbodyparagraphshouldcontainonlyonemainpoint/idea)

• Conclusion (whichwraps up your essay by recapping your argument andreflectingon the implicationsofwhat you found, or the limitationsof youranalysis,orpointingtoadditionalquestionsthatstillneedtobeaddressedbyfuturescholars)

Ifeachofthesesectionsisroughly250words,youwouldhavereached1,500words,whichistheusuallengthofaCSIessay(notcountingyourreferencelist).You may want to use section headings to clearly signal to the reader what thestructureofyouressayisgoingtobe.ConsiderthisoutlineforaCSIessaywrittenbyS.onthesocialfactorsthatinfluencefemaleadolescents’bodyimage:IntroductionBackground:

• Definingbodyimage• Explaininghownegativebodyimagemanifestsitself• Statistics and reports on the rise in negative body image among female

adolescentsSection1:

• ParentalinfluencesonbodyimageSection2:

• InfluenceofromanticpartnersonbodyimageImplications:

• ConsequencesofnegativebodyimageonadolescentbehaviorConclusion


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5. THEINTRODUCTORYPARAGRAPH

5.1. StartwithagoodhookYouressayneeds tohaveagood “hook,”anopening thatdraws thereader inandmakes themwant to keep on reading. Youmight startwith an evocative examplethatisrelatedtoyouressaytopic.Oryoumightstartwithastatisticthatspeakstoyour topic. Or you might start with a thought-provoking question. However youdecidetostartyouressay,makeitcompelling.ConsiderY.’sopeningparagraphbelow.Shedecided towriteabout thepracticeofdog-meat eating and how it is reviled in some countries and seen as perfectlynormalinothers.Butratherthansimplystatingthisvariationineatinghabits,shebeganwithananecdoteaboutthecelebritychefAnthonyBourdain. Onhisglobalculinarytourin2001,AnthonyBourdainingestedlivecobraheartandboiled iguana. Yet he repeatedly and publicly talked about how he would neverconsumedogmeat.Whatmakeseatingotheranimalsmoreacceptablethaneatingdogs? Why is a normative food choice in one social context so stigmatised inanother?

-WhateverOpinionyouhaveonDogMeat—IsItYourOwn?


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5.2. Motivateyourpaper

Eventhoughyouareansweringanessaypromptforaclassassignment,thatisnotenough tomotivate your paper and your choice of topic. You need to be able toconvince your reader that the topic you have chosen is worth researching andreading about. Why is it important? One way to motivate your paper is to offerstatistics to show how the phenomenon you are writing about is widespread.Another is to take a normative stance, by showing how the phenomenon you arewritingabout iswrong(andthereforeneedstobestudiedtounderstandwhyit isoccurring).Student A. chose towrite about undergraduate drinking in the United States andused statistics thathighlightedboth theprevalenceof thephenomenonaswell asthenegative consequencesof bingedrinking amongAmerican college students, tomotivatehispaper.Thismotivationfoldedintohishookverywell:DrinkingincollegeintheUnitedStateshaslongbeenequatedasariteofpassage.Arecent report by theNational Institute onAlcoholAbuse andAlcoholism (NIAAA)conductedin2014showedthat60%ofAmericancollegestudentsdrankduringthepastmonthwhile “twoout of threeof themengaged inbingedrinkingwithin thesame time frame” (NIAAA 2015, 1). The consumption of alcohol has resulted in1,825 deaths andmore than 696,000 assault cases (NIAAA 2015, 1). At the sametime,studiesclearlyhighlight theconsequencesofbingedrinking:studentsreportmissing classes, having suicidal thoughts, and having health issues, among others(NIAAA 2015, 1). This poses the question: Why are so many American collegestudentsdrinkingdespitetheadverseeffects?-Alcoholism:HowSocial-EconomicForcesShapeNormativeDrinkingHabitsAmong

CollegeStudentsintheUnitedStatesA. was able to motivate his paper by highlighting both the prevalence of collegedrinkingintheUnitedStatesaswellasitsnegativeconsequencesintermsofdeaths,poor performance in school, increased crime, and health issues. The bottom linehere is that youhave tobeable to answer the “Sowhat?”question.The reader isgoing tobe thinking, “Why should I care?” aboutwhatever topic it is that youarewritingabout.Youneedtobeabletoanswerthatquestion,beforeyououtlineyourargument/thesisstatement.


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5.3. Theessentialelementsofyourintroductoryparagraph(s)

Allintroductoryparagraphsneedtocontainthefollowingelements:• Ahook(discussedinsection5.1),• Amotivation(discussedinsection5.2),• Theresearchquestionbeingaskedintheessay,• The student’s thesis statement (which is their answer to the research

question,discussedinsection5.4),andfinally,• Asentenceor twooutlininghow the studentplans to support/defendyour

thesis.Inthesamplebelow,studentV.haschosentowriteabouttheincreasingpopularityofveganism,andherintroductoryparagraphcoversalltheelementsoutlinedabove:

V. started her essay by highlighting the rising popularity of veganism, using thegrowing number of Youtube videos featuring vegan recipes. From that anecdote,whichservesasbothahookandamotivationforheressay,shetransitionstoherresearchquestion:“Whyaresomanypeoplebecomingvegan?”butalsoframesherquestion as offering an insight into the broader question ofwhy people eatwhattheyeat.NotehowS.hasrephrasedtheoriginalCSIessayprompttotailorittoherspecifictopic/casestudy.Soratherthanthebroad“Whatpartofourbehaviorandbeliefs, ifany, is trulyourown?”, shehasrephrasedthequestion tosuitheressaytopic:“Whyaresomanypeoplebecomingvegan?”


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From there,V.offers the reader theorder inwhichshe isgoing tobearguinghercase,outliningthespecificsocialinstitutionsshewillbeanalysinginthemainbodyof her essay. And she finally ends her introduction by stating her thesis: “Myargumentwillbethatalthoughindividualspossessthecapacitytoreconstructtheireatingbehaviorandexercisesomelevelofagency inthatdecision, theyultimatelyexistwithinaninescapablesystemofsocialcontrolsthatshapetheirdietaryhabits.”NotethatV.outlinedtheorderinwhichshewasstructuringheressaybeforestatingherthesis.Shecouldhavejustaseasilystatedherthesisfirst,andthenprovidedtheoutlineofherrestofheressay.Eitherapproachisacceptable.Another student S. also manages to squeeze all the essential elements of anintroductionintoheropeningparagraph:“WhatisthedifferencebetweenabenchandaMalayfather?Abenchcansupportafamily.” While often passed off as a tongue-in-cheek quip, such racially-chargedjokesrevealaveiledproblemofethnicstereotypinginSingapore.Itbetraysaracialreality, actingasamicrocosmofbroader issuesprevalent in today’s society -- thelower socioeconomic status of Malays and problematic societal attitudes heldtowardsthisethnicdemographic.Thisthusraisesthequestion:WhatdoesitmeantobeanethnicminorityinasocietyhegemonizedbytheChinese?Focusingonthelocal Malay community, this paper explores the social structure of race and itsrelationshipwithsocialstratification. Iwill firstexplainhowthe“deviant”culturalideology of the Malay community and their vernacular disadvantage producessocioeconomic issues by creating the consensus that Malays are capital deficient.Then,Iwilladdresshowgovernmentinterventioncanbeenabling,butisultimatelyineffective as these pre-existing, deeply entrenched disadvantages undermineupward social mobility. Therefore, although government intervention can beenablingfortheMalaycommunity,long-held,intergenerationalcustomsandpublicperceptionsoftheirethnicidentityultimatelylimitstheirupwardsocialmobility.

- RegardlessofRace,LanguageorReligion?NotehowS.startswithacommonracistjokeinSingaporeasherhook,andthenlaysout the current racial divide in Singapore and the marginalized position ofSingaporeanMalaystomotivateherpaper.Thensheintroducesherexactresearchtopic which is the relationship between race and social stratification, but veryclearlydelimitsheranalysistotheMalaypopulationinSingapore,ensuringthatshewillnotbetakingontoomuchinheressay.Afterthis,sheoutlineshowshewillbeapproaching this topic, and finally ends with what her overarching argument isgoingtobe:That,“althoughgovernmentinterventioncanbeenablingfortheMalaycommunity, long-held, intergenerational customs and public perceptions of theirethnicidentityultimatelylimitstheirupwardsocialmobility.”


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5.4. Thethesisstatementmustbeprecise

Notethatathesisstatementcannotbeablandvaguestatementofcauseandeffecte.g.“Inthisessay,IwillshowthatbehaviorXisaffectedbysocialforces.”Inyour thesis statement,youneed tobeclearandalsoprecise inassertingwhichsocial forcesareatwork,andhowtheyareaffectingbehaviorX.Again, lookatS’spaper in section5.3.Her thesis statement is not simply that race influences one’ssocialmobility inSingapore. Instead,she isveryspecificandwritesthat“althoughgovernment intervention can be enabling for the Malay community, long-held,intergenerationalcustomsandpublicperceptionsoftheirethnicidentityultimatelylimits upward social mobility.” She has identified three different social factors atwork–governmentintervention,traditionalMalaycustoms,andpublicperceptionsofMalays – as influencing the socialmobility chances of SingaporeanMalays, andsignalled that her essay will be organized around these three points. This thesisstatementthusclearlyoutlineswhatherargumentisgoingtobeintheremainderofherpaper.Contrast this with student L.’s paper which focuses on the high caffeineconsumptionrateamongcollegestudents.After introducingher topic, thestudentbeginstooutlineherresearchquestionandargument:To better understand why caffeine has such a high prevalence among collegestudents, a key question is: which external factors, if any, are acting upon themwhich increase their caffeine intake? This paper explores the role that socialinteractions and commitmentswithin social institutions play in caffeine intake ofcollege students and the extent to which they exercise personal agency in theirconsumptionpatterns.I seek to resolve the question by drawing upon existing literature on the socialbehavior of college students. Firstly, I will analyze the three main reasons andcorrespondingsocialfactorsforstudents’caffeineconsumptionthroughcoffeeandenergydrinks.Thereafter,Iwilldiscusstheextentthatone’sdecisionscaninfluencetheirexposuretosocialinfluencesoncollegecampuses.Finally,Icontendthatwhileexercising personal agency in consumption choice initially is possible, collegestudents are inevitably bound by social forces that encourage them to consumecaffeineastheyengagewiththecollegecommunity.

-CollegeStudents’ConsumptionofCaffeine–ForcedorFreeWilled?Notehowthestudentwritesthatsheexploring“therolethatsocialinteractionsandcommitmentswithinsocialinstitutionsplay”ininfluencingstudents’caffeineintake.This isveryvague.Shealsowritesthatshewillbeanalyzing“threemainreasons”behind college students’ caffeine consumption, but does not outline what thesethree reasons are. And in her last sentence in this excerpt, where shewrites her


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thesis statement, it continues to be very vague: “I contend that while exercisingpersonal agency in consumption choice initially is possible, college students areinevitablyboundbysocial forcesthatencouragethemtoconsumecaffeineastheyengagewith the college community.”The studentprovidesno further informationaboutwhatthese“socialforces”arethatencouragecaffeineconsumption.Nowsome studentsmay fear thatbyoutlining their identified social forces in thefirst paragraph or two of their essay, they will effectively spoil the element ofsurprise for theirreader.Thetruth is that insocialsciencewriting(asopposedtocreativewriting),youdonotwanttogiveyourreaderthesekindsofsurprises.Youwanttosignalearlyonwhatyourmainargumentisgoingtobe,andthenyouwanttousetherestofyourpapertoproveitusingrelevantevidence.


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6. BACKGROUNDTOANUNFAMILIARTOPICORPOPULATION

Oftenstudentsaredrawntowritingabouttopicsthatmaybeveryfamiliartothem.Singaporean students tend to write about Singapore’s system of meritocracy ineducation, or its multiculturalist policies, or national service, etc. However, theyshould not assume that their reader will be as familiar as they are about thisinstitution or population. Students have to provide some background history,statistics,orjustexplanationtobringthereaderuptospeed.In the example below, R. writes about the Hmong in the United States, and howAmericansocialandlegalinstitutionsconstrainfirst-generationHmongimmigrants’ability to maintain their traditional practices. In his introductory paragraph, hebrieflymentions that theHmongmovedto theUnitedStatesbecauseof “domesticunrest” but provides no other information about this population. As a result, thereaderisleftatseaastheessayprogresses.“Toseeatigeristodie;toseeanofficialistobecomedestitute.”ThisquotereflectstheHmongpeople’s dislike of state power (Newman2013, 70). TheHmongwerehistoricallymountainpeopleswhoresistedthepowerofthestatebygeographicallyseparating themselves from the state. However, domestic unrest has forced theHmong to migrate and live in countries like the United States, where the stateapparatus enforces enormous power over the individual’s actions and beliefs(Caitlin 1997, 69). In the face of Westernisation and globalisation, how have theHmongcontinuedtoresisttheadoptionofnewculturalnorms?HaveWesternsocialstructuresandbeliefsconstrainedtheHmong’spracticeof their traditionalrituals,orprovidedthemwiththenecessarycapitalandresourcestoreconnectwiththeirHmong identity? I argue that for the Hmong, social structures restrict theirexecution of Hmong rituals and beliefs within the United States, but have alsoenabledtheHmongtoadoptnewwaysofculturalpreservationanddocumentation.

-TheTensionbetweenFreedomandStructure:TheMigrantHmonginAmerica ItwouldhavehelpedR.ifhehadgiventhereadersomehistoryoftheHmong,wherethey are from in Southeast Asia, how big their population is in theUnited States,whentheyarrivedintheUnitedStates,underwhatconditions,etc.Someoverviewof their cultural background is also necessary so that readers understand theculturaldividethatexistedbetweenthemandmainstreamAmericansociety.NowconsiderthefollowingexampleonmulticulturalisminSingapore.Theauthor,aSingaporean,doesnotassumethatthereaderwillbefamiliarwiththemulticulturalpolicies of the Singapore government and uses his background paragraph(excerptedbelow)afterhisintroductiontogivejustenoughhistoricalcontexttothispolicytoallowthereadertoproperlyengagewithhisargument.


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HistoricalContextandPracticalBenefitsofMulticulturalismIn Singapore’s tumultuous thrust into independence, multiculturalism wasconceivedasawaytobuildanationalidentityandensureracialharmony.Itallowedfor the creation of an imagined community (Anderson 1983, 6) through thecombination of distinct ethnicities, especially since there was no pre-existingSingaporeanidentitythatthestatecouldlayclaimto(Moore2000,344).ThiswasdonethroughthecreationoftheCIMO(Chinese,Indian,Malay,Other)schemewhichdesignatedeachSingaporeanaspecificrace(Chua2003,60).Withthesecategories,each ethnicity was weaved into a grand national narrative, forming ties betweendisparate communities inan “imaginedcommunity.” It formed thecentral idealofethnic diversity, a “cultural glue” (Migdal 2001, 238), that pulled fragmentedmigrantcommunitiestogetherinacomplementaryyetcommonidentity.

-MulticulturalisminSingapore:HistoricalUnderpinningsandModernConstraintsWith just a few sentences in this second paragraph, the student provides enoughbackground(well-supportedwithmultiplecitationsfromrelevantsources)sothatthereaderwillbereadytoengagewithhissubsequentbodyparagraphs.


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7. EVIDENCEINYOURESSAY

More than anything else, your CSI Research Paper assignments are asking you todemonstrateyourabilitytosupportanargumentusingevidenceyouhavecollectedthroughsecondarybibliographicresearch.However,inordertodothissuccessfully,youneedtofindrelevantarticles/books/statistics,citethemappropriately,andthenweave their findings into your narrative in away that links back to your originalargument.Thisisperhapsthebiggestchallengeforfirst-yearstudentwriters.

7.1. Provideevidencetosupporteveryclaimyoumake

Studentsoftenassumethatthereaderwillnotneedtobeconvincedoftheexistenceof some social phenomenon because it is so obvious. Singaporean students inparticularmay imagine that they do not need to explain some particular facet ofSingaporeansocietybecauseYale-NUSisinSingapore.Thiswouldbeamistake.Donot assume that your reader is aware of certain trends or patterns in society;instead,includeacitationtobackupyourassertions.Inthepassagebelow,N.assumedthatthereaderwouldbecompletelyfamiliarwiththe intense stress that primary school students face in Singapore. So he madeseveral statementswithout providing any evidence to support his claimsor showthat what he had personally observed was in fact representative of broaderSingaporesociety.Thiscouldhavebeenavoidedbyreferencingnewspaperarticlesorjournalarticlesthatspeaktothewidespreadnatureofthisphenomenon.Thereisacultureofstrivingtogetintocertaingoodsecondaryschoolsbecauseofthebeliefthatthoseschoolscanprovideabetterpathforone’sfuture.Studentsarethusunderimmensepressuretogetresultsduetothehierarchythatexistsamongthedifferentschoolsavailable.

- DoWeHaveAgencyinChoosingtheSchoolsweGoto?

N. speaks of a “culture of striving” and the “immense pressure” that Singaporeanprimary school students face, due to the “hierarchy” of secondary schools inSingapore.Buttherearenocitationsofpublishedresearchtosupportanyoftheseclaims,weakeningN.’sauthorityintheeyesofthereader.


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7.2. ShowcasedifferenttypesofevidenceYour essay needs to demonstrate that you have read widely to source forinformation related to your chosen topic. You should be citing from a range ofsources, whether books or journal articles, survey data or interviews, historicalinformationorcurrentnewspaperarticles.Donotjustuseasinglebookasyoursolesourceofevidence.Likewise,donotonlyrelyonnewspaperarticles.InhispaperoncollegedrinkingintheUnitedStates,A.drewonmultiplemulti-sitedacademic studies conducted on college campuses about the drinking habits ofAmericancollegestudents.Buthealsodrewontheoriesofsocialpressure(suchastheAschlinestudyandtheBergerreading)thathadbeenintroducedinCSI,andanationalreportpublishedbyagovernmentinstitute.


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7.3. Provide relevantmethodological details of the research studies you drawfrom

When you draw extensively on the findings from a particular research study tosupport your argument, you should provide at least a fewpertinent details abouthowthestudywasconductedsothatthereaderisabletojudgewhetherornotthestudyisreliableandrelevanttoyourpaper.ListedbelowisanexamplefromapaperbystudentS.whereheprovidesdetails(butnotnecessarilyusefulones)abouthowastudywasconducted:PsychologistsSeidleretal.whoexaminedsixelectronicdatabases forevidenceonthe effects ofmasculinity onmen, found that “conformity to traditionalmasculinenorms can increase men’s likelihood of experiencing distress and decrease theirwillingnesstoseekhelp”(2006,1115).

-I’llMakeaManOutofYouIt isnotclearwhatthese“sixelectronicdatabases”are,orhowSeidleretal.coulddrawthatparticular inference fromthosedatabases.Assuch, thisdetailabout thestudydoesnothelpthereader.Laterinhispaper,S.citesanotherstudy,butthistime,hedoesamuchbetterjobatprovidingthepertinentdetailsofthemethodusedinthisempiricalresearchpaper:Emslie et al. (2005), through interviews with 16 mentally ill men, found thatdepressionwasconceivedas“anordealfromwhichtheheroemergesastrongman:nopain,nogain’.”

-I’llMakeaManOutofYouIn this case, S. offers just enough information about the research method(interviews)andsamplepopulationandsize(16mentally illmen) that thereaderhasaclearsenseofwhatEmslieetal.did in termsof their researchmethodologyandhowtheycametomaketheassertionstheydid.Somestudentsaskiftheyhavetoprovidethemethodologicaldetailsforeverysingleresearch paper they cite, and the truth is that they should not. Judging when toprovidemethodologicaldetailsofaresearchpaperismoreofacraftthanascience.However,ageneralruleofthumbtofollowisthis:Wheneveryouareworkingwithanacademicsourcethatyourelyonagreatdealtofurtheryourownargument,youshouldprovide somedetails about themethodsbywhichyour source found theirevidence.


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7.4. DescribeinsufficientdetailthekeyfindingsofstudiesyouciteWhen drawing on empirical research that relies on primary data collection, it isworthwhile to explain the empirical findings of the study so that the reader canjudgeforthemselveswhetherornottheytrusttheoverallconclusionorimplicationthatthestudy’sauthorsmake.Intheexamplebelow,studentA.describestheresultsof a statistical study, explaining how these results support her argument thatreligiousschoolsplayaroleinencouragingCatholicstoremainfaithful.PaulPerlandMarkMGray,sociologistswhofocusonAmericanCatholicsandtheirrelationshipwithreligion,conductedstudiestoassessthe“effectivenessofCatholicschooling at instilling religious commitment.” Their research showed thatindividualswhoreceivedat least8yearsofCatholicschoolingweremorelikelytoattendmassregularlyandbe involved intheCatholiccommunity. Individualswhoattended 3-4 years of Catholic schooling were 50% as likely as non-CatholiceducatedCatholics toswitchtoadifferent faith,and44%as likely toswitchtonoreligious affiliation (Perl and Gray 2007, 275). This strong correlation betweenCatholic education and subsequent religiosity as adults suggests that our schoolcommunitycanstronglyinfluenceourdecisiontoremainwithintheCatholicchurcheveninadulthood,whenoneissaidtobemoreindependentindecision-making.

A.introducesPerlandGrayandtheirresearchspecialization,andthenoutlinesthekeyfindingsoftheirstudybybreakingdownthestatisticspresentedintheirpaper.Andthen,afterpresentingthesestatistics,sheexplainswhytheyarerelevanttoherargument.Now,A.couldhavedonemore toexplainhowPerlandGrayconductedtheirstudy,andshedidnotprovidepagenumberstosupportherquoteatthestartof her excerpt, but she still did a good job presenting and then explaining thesestatisticstothereader.


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7.5. Considerrivalintrepretationsorcriticismsofyourevidence

Most students are able to source evidence to support their argument, but in theirpresentationofthisevidence,theydonotalwaystakethetimetoassessitsvalidityand/or relevance to their argument. It is important to carefully engagewith rivalinterpretationsoftheevidence,orpotentialcriticismsthatcouldbelobbedagainstit.Doingsosignalstothereaderthatyouareobjectiveenoughtoweighallsidesofadebatebeforearrivingatyourownconclusion.Oneway inwhich these rival interpretations canbepresented isbyofferingbothpiecesofevidenceoneafteranotherinaparagraph,andthenendingwithyourownassessmentofwhichinterpretationismorevalid.Intheexamplebelow,S.discusseshowtheofficialpolicyofmulticulturalisminSingaporemayconstrainportrayalsofthe nation because only those that contain the full spectrum of the four “official”races that make up Singapore are deemed to be valid. He cites as evidence thecontroversyoverthelackofnon-ChinesefacesinCrazyRichAsians:

A full representation of Singapore’s main races is seen as proper and morallyobligatedinstate-linkedperformances(1976,121).Thisconcernforthedeliberateshowcaseofmulticulturalismhassurfacedinlocalcritiquesofthemovie“CrazyRichAsians”,whichcentresonopulentChinesefamiliesinSingapore.ANewYorkTimesarticle remarked that someSingaporeans felt the filmdidnot represent the otherminority races in Singapore and only casted Chinese people, the majority race.Mathews,aseniorresearchfellowbasedinSingapore,givesanopposingviewpointinthearticle,arguing“Ithinkmostfair-mindedSingaporeanswouldseethisfilmasa work of fiction and not expect a high level of realism and accuracy in culturalportrayals,”(Ives2018).Iconcurwithhisopinion.Thefilmwasnotmeanttobeadocumentary on Singapore identity; it instead focuses on and even satirizes the“crazyrich”Chinese inSingapore.This is thenuance it carries. It seems likesomeSingaporeansareconstrainedbytheirover-racializedviewofwhatSingaporeis,orrather, what it should be. This creates a tendency to problematise racialrepresentation,causingthemtooverlookcontextandnuance.Publiccriticismonthelack of representation of the film may also affect artistic representation inSingapore.Artistsmaybe too concernedabout “proper” racial representationandwhether their art is “multicultural” enough, disrupting their creative vision. Byembedding race too deeply into national identity, Singaporeans constrain theirunderstandingandportrayalofthemanydifferentrealities.

- MulticulturalisminSingaporeIntheaboveexcerpt,S.weavestwoopposingpiecesofevidenceintohisparagraph,settingthemupagainsteachother,andthenintroduceshisownassessmentoftheirrelativemerits.He first discusses the criticism the film received in Singapore, butthen follows this up with an alternative viewpoint expressed by a Singaporeanacademic. After presenting both points of view, the student then shares his ownopinionandprovidesadetailedjustificationbackingitup.


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7.6. EngagewithCSImaterial

Each CSI essay prompt requires students to incorporate a minimum number ofreadingsfromCSI.Thereasonbehindthisrequirementistoallowstudentsachanceto demonstrate their understanding of CSI material and their ability to criticallyapply a social science concept or theory to their chosen topic/case study. Forinstance,astudentwritingabouttheeffectsofastate’ssocialpoliciesthatreinforcediscrimination and inequities along racial lines, should be engaging with CSIconcepts such as the different dimensions of power (Lukes), social control(Berger), stereotype threat (Steele), the historical basis of racial categorization(Hirschman), etc. These CSI concepts and theories should be discussed andconnectionsshouldbedrawnacrosstheseideastodefendandsupportthepaper’sclaims.Inwriting abouthow the social structureof theAmish community inpresent-dayUnitedStatesconstrainsthelifechancesofanindividualmemberofthatcommunity,studentA.optedtowriteaboutthelowvaccinationratewithinthiscommunity.Indoingso,hedrewuponnotonlyempiricalstudiesthatshowedthelowvaccinationrate,butalsotheworkofRobertCialdinionthepowerofinjunctiveanddescriptivenorms.Inthisway,hebroughtinCSIconceptsandappliedtheminanovelmannertohischosenessaytopic.However,perceivedsocialnormsstillminimizetheattentionthatmedialissuesaregivenamongsttheAmish.Forexample,vaccinationratesoftheAmishareverylow,andastudyconductedonasampleof215Amishchildrenfoundthatroughly92%ofthemsufferedfromvaccine-preventablediseases(VPD),comparedto17%ofnon-Amish children (Williamson, Ahmed,Kumar,Ostrov andEricson2017).While thereasons for this trend are not entirely clear as they generally have easy access tovaccinations,wecanponderthatthistrendisrootedinsocietalattitudes.Renownedpsychologist, Robert B. Cialdini, distinguishes between two perceived norms inmessaging: descriptive and injunctive norms (Cialdini 2003). Descriptive normsaccount for perceptions of what is performed, while injunctive norms involveperceptionsofwhichbehaviorsare typicallyapprovedanddisapproved.Wecouldimply that a lack of initiative of Amish communities as a whole, which is thedescriptivenorm,andthefactthatengagingwiththeoutsideworldislookeddownupon, which accounts for the injunctive norm, discourage the individual fromengagingactivelywithmedicalinstitutions.Theindividualtradesofftheirpotentialwellbeinginreturnofbeingperceivedas“normal.”

-TheAmish–AContradictionofIndividualandCommunalRealities


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7.7. Afteranalysingeachnewpieceofevidence,tieitbacktoyourthesisWhen you introduce a newpiece of evidence (from your secondary sources) intoyour essay, you first need to analyse it tomake sure your reader understands itsmeaningandimplications.Butbeforeyoumoveontoyournextpoint,youneedtoaddatleastonemoresentencelinkingthisevidencebacktoyourthesisstatement.In the passage below, S. has a lengthy paragraph explaining how hegemonicmasculinity can have a detrimental effect on men’s childrearing practices. Heintroduceshissourcematerial(astudyofsinglefathers),analyzesthefindingsfromthestudy,andtheimplicationsofthesefindings.Butheendsthere.Whatismissingisoneadditionalsentenceattheend,tyingtheseimplicationstohisoriginalthesiswhichisonhegemonicmasculinityasawhole,andnotsimplysinglefathers.Menfindthemselvesdiscouragedfromtakingoncaregiverroleswithinfamilies,andtheyoften findthemselvesstigmatizedorpatronized fordoingso.Parke(2013),apsychologist from the University of California, Riverside, conducted a study onsinglefathersthatfoundthatalthoughtheyarejustascompetentaswomenatchild-rearing,face“skepticismanddoubtthatsinglemenareuptothetaskofparentingalone”.Fathers,byallmeans,shouldbeasintegralapartofthechild-rearingprocessasmothersare.Inthecaseofsinglefathers,theyareevenmoreimportant.However,they are almost always seen as either “super dads”, which is patronizing, or as“needy and perhaps even incompetent fathers”, which is demeaning (75). Thisperception is rooted in the belief thatmen, being the aggressive, powerful party,must be breadwinners in their families and that women are far more nurturing.Theseperceptionswillmakesinglefathers,orevenfathersthataremerelynaturallypredisposed to caregiving, ashamed of their perceived feminine qualities (Parke2013).

-I’llMakeaManOutofYouNowimagineifhehadendedthisparagraphwithoneadditionalsentence:“Inthismanner,wecanseeonceagaintheconstrainingnatureofhegemonicmasculinityonmen’slives,evenastheytransitionfromsinglelifetofamilylife.”

Consider this other example from R. who is writing about the power of newinformationandcommunication technologies toallow isolatedHmong immigrantsintheUnitedStatestoprivatelycapturetheirtraditionalpracticesandsharethemonline with Hmong around the world, thereby creating an online imaginedcommunity.Whilehemakesthispointeffectively,hedoesnottieitbacktohisthesisstatementwhich is about theways inwhich social structures both constrain andenabletheHmonginAmerica.… [T]hese new mediums connect Hmong from different parts of the world,promoting a new sense of identity. Prior to migrating into the U.S., most Hmong


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wereseparatedgeographicallyandrooted their identities in thespaces theycamefrom.WiththeadventoffilmsthatcapturescenesofHmongritualsinaspaceotherthan the one a Hmong person hails from, such as Vietnam, China or Myanmar,migrantHmong“interpellate[…]intoagloballydiasporicsensibility”(Schein2008,197). Media not only provides the means for Hmong to feel connected to priorconceptionsof identity,butalsoconnectwithothermigrantHmongwhotheymayhavenevermet.Onewaythisisdoneisthroughthegeneralisationofplaceinfilm,where “the focus is on […] lifestyle […] rather than the actual details of any onevillageorindividual”(Koltyk1993,442).Thisallowfilmstoresonateamongstmanymigrant Hmong communities, thus establishing a group identity across differentgeographicalareas.

- TheTensionbetweenFreedomandStructure:TheMigrantHmonginAmerica

It would have helped if R. had added onemore sentence at the very end of thisexcerpt,explainingwhatthispointhastodowithhisbroaderthesis.


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8. QUOTATIONS

8.1. When first drawing from an unfamiliar author’s work, introduce thembriefly

This introduction of an authorwhosework you are drawing from is necessary inordertosignaltothereaderthatthisauthorhaslegitimacy.Intheexcerptbelow,S.drawsontheworkof“VanGennep”inheressayonhazingrituals,butprovidesnofurtherinformationaboutwhothispersonis:In his book The Rites of Passage, Van Gennep observes that hazing achieves theintegration and socializationofnewmembers, and reinforces the solidarityof thegroup.

-TheDevilMadeMeDoItS.doesmentionVanGennep’sbookRitesofPassage,whichisagoodfirstmove,butshecouldhavealsohintedathisauthorityasascholar.ShecouldhavementionedthathewasaFrenchethnographerwritinginthefirsthalfofthe20thcentury,andthe first scholar to identify the universal nature of initiation rituals to marktransitionsbetweendifferent life stages.Themistakeherewas toassume that thereaderwouldbesofamiliarwitheitherVanGenneporTheRitesofPassagethatnointroductionwouldbenecessary.


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8.2. Whenintroducingascholar,focusontherelevantpartsoftheirbiographythataddtotheirlegitimacy

When introducing scholars whose work they are citing, students often find itdifficult to choose which aspects of the scholar’s biography to mention. A usefulguideistomentiontheirdisciplineandtheirresearchexpertiseasitpertainstothetopicthestudentiswritingabout.Mentioningtheuniversitytheyareaffiliatedwith,or that they are a professor, is not as relevant. S. used the following sentence tointroduceascholar:AsdefinedbyDonaldson (1993), a sociologist from theUniversityofWollongong,hegemonicmasculinityhasthreemaincharacteristics.However,itdoesn’treallymattertothereaderthatDonaldsonisfromtheUniversityof Wollongong. It would have been better for S. to have written: “As defined byDonaldson(1993),anAustraliansociologistwhohaspublishedwidelyonthelivesof ruling- and working-class men, hegemonic masculinity has three maincharacteristics.”


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8.3. Analyzethequotationbeforemovingontothenextpoint

Donotusehit-and-runquotations.Instead,afterincludingaquote,takethetimetoanalyzethequoteandexplainitsrelevancetothebroaderpointyouaremakinginthat particular paragraph. Do not assume that the quotation is so clear that yourreaderwillautomaticallyunderstanditsconnectiontoyourargument.Intheexamplebelow,E.isarguingthatthepopularityofthewhiteweddingdressintheWesternworldispartlyduetothesynergyofinjunctiveanddescriptivenorms.She draws on Robert Cialdini’s work but acknowledges that his research on thepowerofdifferentsocialnormswasnotconductedinthecontextofweddingdressfashions.The white wedding dressmaintains its dominance in theWestern psyche by theunification of injunctive and descriptive norms. The proliferation of the whiteweddingdresshascreatedadescriptivenorm;womenareawarethatotherbridescurrent and previous have chosen white dresses. The bridal industry has alsoexcelledatutilizinginjunctivenorms,thatisthe“perceptionsofwhichbehaviorsaretypically approved or disapproved” (Cialdini 2003, 105). Although Cialdini’sresearch is focused on the usage of norms to create effective environmentalmessaging, theconclusionshereachescanbeappliedmoregenerallytosuccessfulsocietalmessaging.Humansarelikelytofollowthepathwhichisbothpopularandsociallyapproved.

- ‘TheMemoryThey’reGoingtoKeepofYou,FrozeninTime’:TheWhiteWeddingDressinWesternSociety

Intheparagraphabove,E.onlyquotesasentencefragmentfromCialdini’soriginalpapersothatsheisnotoverlyreliantonhiswords.Inaddition,afterquotingfromCialdini,sheaddsherownsentenceacknowledgingthathisresearchwasconductedin a very different context and for a very different purpose. But she convincinglyarguesthathisfindingsonthepowerofsocialnormscanstillbegeneralizedtohercontextaswell.


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8.4. Donotbeoverlyreliantonquotationsfromotherscholars

Large chunks of quotations from other scholars reduces your legitimacy as abuddingscholarorindicatesthatyouaretoolazytotryexplainanideainyourownwords. You shouldnot have large excerpts quotedwholesale fromother scholars’works.Instead,trytoparaphrasetheirideasandthenprovideanin-textcitation.Intheexamplebelow,S.hastwolongquotesfromthesamesetofauthors(AronsonandMills)whenthere isnothing inwhat theysay thatshecouldnothavewrittenherself.

Festinger’s (1957) theory of cognitive dissonance posits that we have thecompulsion tomaintainharmony in ourbeliefs, attitudes and actions.Thismeansthat "personswho go through a great deal of trouble or pain to attain somethingtend to value it more highly than persons who attain the same thing with aminimum of effort” (Aronson and Mills 2004). According to Aronson and Mills(2004):“If[anindividual]hasundergoneanunpleasantintiationtogainadmissionto thegroup,his cognition thathehasgone throughanunpleasantexperience forthesakeofmembershipisdissonantwithhiscognitionthattherearethingsaboutthegroupthathedoesnotlike.”

-TheDevilMadeMeDoItRatherthansuchabigblockofquotesfromAronsonandMills,thestudentshouldhave rewritten this text in her own words. She should also have included pagenumbersforherin-textcitations!Considerthisexample fromE. instead. Inexplaininghowthewhiteweddingdressembodies upper class norms, she includes an excerpt from an article about thepoweroftheweddingindustrytoencouragebridestotakeondebtinordertofundtheir wedding dreams. Note how she does not include a full sentence from hersource (Ingraham2008)but insteadonly uses a sentence fragment. This targetedapproach is a cleverway tomaintainyourauthorityas thewriter.Alsonotehow,after including this excerpt, E. elaborates on this point by bringing in additionalsupporting evidence from another source and then analyzing the implications ofbothpiecesofevidencetogether.Inadditiontoheterosexuality,thewhiteweddingdressisapotentexecutorofclassnorms.Itistheultimatestatussymbol.Whenpurchasinggownswomenoftenspendbeyond their means, as the wedding industry “increasingly [targets] upper-levelincome groups or [encourages] a significant level of wedding debt for what hasbecome a compulsory ritual” (Ingraham 2008, 11). This compulsory spending isempiricallysupportedbyCurrie’s(1993)interviewswithbrides,asmanyreportedfeelingsweptawaybytheprocess,andendedupspendingsignificantlymorethantheycouldaffordbecausetheyfeltas if theyshould.Astheystrivetosymbolically


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increasetheirstatus,theexpenditureof lower-incomebridestocreateanartificialescape from class stratification ironically further entrenches them within it. It isfiscally straining, yet the purchase of a splendidwhite gown is nonnegotiable formanybrides.

- ‘TheMemoryThey’reGoingtoKeepofYou,FrozeninTime’:TheWhiteWeddingDressinWesternSociety


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9. CONCLUSIONS

Endingyourresearchpapermaybethehardestpartofthewritingprocessforsomestudents.Themostcommonmistakeistouseyourfinalparagraphtosimplyrecapyourargument.This is awastedopportunity, andan indication thatyouhave runoutofsteam.Incontrast,considerhowstudent,S.,chosetoendheressay.Heressayfocusedonfemale politicians in Western societies and the multiple pressures on them toemphasizetheirmasculinityasawayofdemonstratingtheirleadershippotential.InS.’s finalparagraph, shequickly summarizes theargument shehadmadebut thenhintsatotherareasthathaveyetbeexplored.Overall, female politicians who break out of one of Berger’s concentric circles ofsocialinfluenceoftenfindthemselvesatthemercyofmanyothers.Thegreatextenttowhich social forces, rather than individual agency, determine our behaviour isdemonstrated by the urge of female politicians to, like Elizabeth I, de-emphasisetheir womanhood. That being said, we cannot assume these standards to beuniversal.Forone,theexpectationsoffemalepoliticianscandifferbetweenculturalcontexts.FemalepoliticiansinSouthAsia,forexample,areexpectedtocontinuetodemonstrate feminine virtue as dutiful wives and mothers (George 2012, 28).Another phenomenonworth further examination is the emerging trend of femalepoliticianswho embrace their femininity in the political spotlight. The recent U.Smidtermelectionssawnumerouswomen“rewritingtheplaybook”onthecampaigntrail and emphasising theirwomanhood in their choiceof dress, speech topics, orcampaignvideos(Zernike2018).Theissueofwomeninpoliticsisahighlycomplexone,andwhilethereremainsmuchtobestudiedandmuchtobedone,perhapswemay soon see a political landscape where female politicians can proclaimthemselves to have the “heart and stomach” of a woman, and still cement forthemselvesalong-lastinglegacy.

- TheBoxedCakeVersustheBoxingRingNote the various rhetorical devices that S. uses to sow new ideas in the reader’smind.Shesummarizesherargumentinafewshortsentencesbutthenwrites,“Thatbeing said” to draw the reader’s attention to the limitations of her argument andnewdevelopmentsthatmight indicatethatpasttrendsmaybechanging.Sheendsheressaywithaquoteaboutfemalepoliticiansbeingabletoonedayproclaimthattheyhavethe“heartandstomach”ofawoman,whichisadirectthrowbacktothestartofheressaywhereshehadusedthatquotefromQueenElizabethItokickoffherargument.Inthismanner,sheisabletocomebackfullcircletothestartofheressay,givingherendingalovelyfeelingofsymmetryandcompleteness.


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10. GENERALWRITINGRESOURCES

Belowarevariousresourcesyoucanusetoimproveyouracademicwriting:1. Billig,Michael.2013.LearntoWriteBadly:HowtoSucceedintheSocialSciences.

Cambridge:CambridgeUniversityPress.2. Graff,Gerald,andCathyBirkenstein.2014.TheySay,ISay:TheMovesthatMatter

inAcademicWriting.NewYork:W.W.Norton&Company3. Eco,Umberto.2015.HowtoWriteaThesis.Cambridge,MA:MITPress.4. Becker, Howard S. 1986.Writing for Social Scientists: How to Start and Finish

yourThesis,Book,orArticle.Chicago,IL:UniversityofChicagoPress.5. Turabian, Kate L. 2010. A Manual for Writers of Research Papers, Theses, and

Dissertations.Chicago,IL:UniversityofChicagoPress.


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11. SAMPLECSIESSAY

The following CSI essay was written by Zhiying (Vivien) Su, Class of 2021. Theessaysusesmanyoftherhetoricalmovesdescribedearlier.Veganism:HowSocioeconomicForcesShapeNormativeEatingBehaviorsIntroductionInrecentyears,veganismhasgainedsignificanttractioninmainstreamculture.Onesignof the times:aquicksearch inYouTube today forveganrecipesyieldsnearlyfourmillionvideos,ofwhichagrowingnumberarepostedbycreatorswhodedicatetheir entire channels to promoting veganism. This begs the question: why are somanypeoplebecomingvegan?Evenmoreimportantly:whydoweeatwhatweeat?This paper explores the role that social forces play in food consumption and theextenttowhichindividualsexercisepersonalagencyintheirfoodchoices.Iwillfirstexplain the forces that influence food consumption, focusing on socioeconomicforces for the sake of brevity. I will then discuss the recent emergent veganmovement and examine whether individuals who adopt veganism truly exercisepersonal agency in their decision. My argument will be that although individualspossessthecapacitytoreconstructtheireatingbehaviorandexercisesomelevelofagencyinthatdecision,theyultimatelyexistwithinaninescapablesystemofsocialcontrolsthatshapetheirdietaryhabits.SocioeconomicDeterminantsoftheChoiceofDietArguingthelimitationsofnutritionasanapproachinstudyingeatinghabits,PatriciaCrotty (1993)wrote that thereexistsa “domainofbehaviour, culture, societyandexperience” surrounding food consumption that goes unexamined in nutritionstudies (109). Indeed, the scientific discipline of nutrition has largely ignored thesocial nature of dietary choices,which is a central component of how individualsdecide what to eat. The health benefits of a plant-based diet (Craig 2009), forexample,are insufficient inexplainingchanges innormativeeatingbehaviors.Onestudy conducted byMarcia Hill Gossard and Richard York (2003) concluded thatmeatconsumptionis“apracticeembeddedwithinacomplexofsocialforces”(7).Inthe following paragraphs, I will explain how socioeconomic determinantsspecificallyhavecontributedtoexistingeatingnorms.Peter L. Berger (1963) characterizes the class system determined by economiccriteria as “[the] most important type of stratification in contemporary Westernsociety” (79). CitingMaxWeber, Berger (1963) explains that “one’s class positionyieldscertainprobabilities,orlifechances,astothefateonemayexpectinsociety”(79). This socioeconomic reality also affects food consumption. Studying therelationship between social class and diet quality, Nicole Darmon and AdamDrewnowski (2008) found that groupsofhigher socioeconomic status (SES)weremorelikelytoconsumewholegrains,low-fatdairyproducts,leanmeats,andfreshvegetables, while “the consumption of fattymeats, refined grains, and added fatswas associated with lower SES groups” (1109). The two suggested that the“observed SES gradient in diet quality may be mediated by” the lower costs of


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unhealthy foods, the lower accessibility to grocery stores in lower-incomeneighborhoods,aswellasthelackofnutritionalknowledgeandinterestincookingwithinlowerSESgroups(1111).Inlightofthisrealization,itcomesasnosurprisethat inGossardandYork’sstudy(2003), subjects “in laboreroccupationseatbothmorebeefandtotalmeatthanthose ineitherserviceorprofessionaloccupations”and“peoplewithmoreeducationeatlessbeefandtotalmeat”(6).Socialclassexertssubstantial influence onmeat consumption, as a lower SES is more conducive tounhealthyeatinghabits.This relationship between social class and meat consumption highlights theexistence within lower SES groups of a descriptive norm regarding meatconsumption,whichRobert B. Cialdini (2003) claims is a highly persuasive socialforce. A 2013 study (Prinsen, de Ridder, and deVet) confirms Cialdini’s argumentabout descriptive norms in the context of food consumption—when subjects sawprevious participants selecting healthy foods, they were more likely to choosehealthyfoods.Asaresult,sinceindividualsoflowerSESgroupsvieweatingmeataswhatpeopleoftheirsocialclasstypicallydo,theyconsumeincreasedlevelsofmeatascomparedtothosefromhigherSESgroup.It is important to note that another determinant of meat consumption is theeconomicandpoliticalpowerthatthemeat industryhasgainedovertheyears.AsGossard and York (2003) commented in their study, “the economic elite controlconsumer preferences through means of social, psychological, and culturalmanipulation—for example, by the use of advertising” (2). Themeat industry, inotherwords,exertsthesecondandthirddimensionsofpowerascoinedbyStevenLukes(1974),because itshapes theverywantsofconsumers. In thissense,meat-eating norms have been largely determined by the meat industry’s corporateinterests.It isthusunsurprisingthatmeatconsumptionformuchoftheworldisa“deeplyengravedsocialnormandhabit” (RaphaelyandMarinova2016,268). Justas individuals’ socioeconomic statuses control the foods that they can afford toconsumeandcontribute to thenormativeeatingpatternswithin their social class,externalforcesexertedbythemeatindustryalsoestablishandreinforcenormativeeatinghabitsofthegeneralpublic.VeganismandPersonalAgencyWith this understanding of socioeconomic determinants and normative eatingbehavior in mind, we can now examine the recent growth of veganism. KathrynAsher and Che Green’s survey (2014) revealed that more than fifty percent ofvegans and vegetarians cited health, taste preferences, animal protection, orenvironmental concerns as reasons for their dietary decisions. To add, foodphotographerMariaSirianoconfesses,“thehardestpartofgoingveganhasn'tbeencravings, which are surprisingly few…, [for] me, the social ramifications of goingveganwere farmorediscouraging” (Siriano2017).AsherandGreen’s studyalongwithSiriano’scommentunderlineanimportantfact:onamicrolevelofanalysis,theindividualdoesexercisesomelevelofpersonalagencyintheirdecisiontobecomevegan. Cutting out animal products for personal and altruistic reasons requirestangiblesacrificeandindependentaction,especiallywhenmeatconsumptionisthenorm. In line with the previous analysis of socioeconomic forces, individuals oflowerSESgroupsexerciseevenmorepersonalagencywhentheydecidetobecome


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vegan,asmeatconsumptionisagreaterdescriptivenormwithintheirsocialclass.In this sense, individuals do possess personal agency and exert pressure to theirsocialmilieuintheirdietarydecisions.Onthemacro-levelofanalysis,however,individualsarestillpartofagreatersystemof socioeconomic controls, and their decision to become vegan does not removethem from this system.The reality is that themaindemographic groupof vegansandvegetariansintheUnitedStatesare“middle-classandupper-classindividuals”(Lindquist 2013). Asher and Green’s survey (2014) also displayed an obviouspositive relationship between education level and identification as vegan orvegetarian. Essentially, when an individual from a higher SES group makes thedecision to become vegan, there exists an illusion of personal agency, because, infact, the individual is actingwithin the boundaries of their socioeconomic reality.TheimplicationsofthesestudiesaresimilarforindividualsfromalowerSESgroup,whoarealsoconstrainedbytherealitiesandnormsoftheirsocialclasswhentheymakedecisionsabouttheirdiet.Ratherthananillusionofpersonalagency,however,theirlocationintheclasssystemyieldsnormsthatdiscouragethemasawholefromchoosingplant-baseddiets.Movingbeyond the scopeof socioeconomic forces, thefact that veganism is now trendy also contributes to the idea that individuals’decisiontobecomeveganistheresultofgreatersocialforces.AccordingtothePlantBased Foods Association, plant-based food companies in the United States isgrowingfasterinsalesthantheentirefoodbusinessingeneral(Strom2016).Thistrendisn’trestrictedonlytoNorthAmerica;datafromGoogleTrendsshowsaspikein “vegan” searchesover thepast fiveyears in countries like Israel,Australia, andGermany (2017).We refer again here to Asher andGreen’s survey (2014),whichfoundthat63percentofformerveganandvegetariansubjectsdislikedthefactthattheir diet made them “stick out from the crowd” (10). Although this observationexplainswhyformerveganandvegetariansoptedoutof their lifestyle, itsupportstheoverarchingargumentthatindividuals’eatinghabitsareheavilyshapedbytheirsocialcontext.Wecanassumethatindividualsarelesslikelytoadoptveganismifitwasnottrending,becausetherewouldexistlesssocialforces(i.e.desiretobepartof a fad) pushing the individual to exert pressure againstmeat-eating norms andincentivizingthemfromstickingoutfromthecrowd.ConclusionThe role that social structure and personal agency plays in shaping foodconsumptionisperhapsbestillustratedbytheanalogyofadog’stoyball(Haslanger2015,114-115).Afteratreathasbeenstuffedintoaholeintheball,whileitisfreeto move within the ball and exert some levels of pressure against the ball, itsbehavior is determined by the ball’s movement. In the same way, althoughindividualsareabletoexercisesomelevelspersonalagencyintheirdietaryhabits,their behavior is still bounded by the parameters of the social structure inwhichtheylive.Myanalysismainlyhighlightedtheeffectsthatsocioeconomicforceshaveuponnormativeeatingbehavior,but,asI triedtoshowinthepreviousparagraph,there also exists other factors that represent other limits to our behavior asindividuals. This understanding of social forces and food consumption createsfurther implications forpublichealthandenvironmentalstudiesas itprovidesthesocialimpetusofunhealthyandenvironmentallyunsustainableeatinghabits.


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ReferencesKathryn Asher, et al. 2014.Study of Current and Former Vegetarians and Vegans.Humane Research Council. https://faunalytics.org/feature-article/hrc-study-of-current-and-former-vegetarians-and-vegans/.Berger, Peter L. 1963. InvitationtoSociology:AHumanisticPerspective. NewYork:AnchorBooks.Cialdini,RobertB.2003.“CraftingNormativeMessagestoProtecttheEnvironment.”CurrentDirectionsinPsychologicalScience12(4):105-9.Craig, Winston J. 2009. “Health Effects of Vegan Diets.” The American Journal ofClinicalNutrition89(May):1627S-1633S.Crotty, Patricia. 1993. “The Value of Qualitative Research in Nutrition.” AnnualReviewofHealthSocialScience3(1):109-18.Darmon, Nicole, and Adam Drewnowski. 2008. “Does Social Class Predict DietQuality?”TheAmericanJournalofClinicalNutrition87(May):1107-17.Gossard,MarciaH., andRichardYork. 2003. “Social Structural Influences onMeatConsumption.”HumanEcologyReview10(No.1):1-9.Haslanger, Sally. 2016. “What is a (Social) Structural Explanation?” PhilosophicalStudies173(January):113-30.Lindquist, Anna. 2013. “Beyond Hippies and Rabbit Food: The Social Effects ofVegetarianism and Veganism.” Social & Anthropology Theses. University of PugetSound.Lukes,Steven.1974.Power:ARadicalView.London:PalgraveMacmillan.Prinsen,Sosja,DeniseT.D.deRidder,andEmelydeVet.2013.“EatingbyExample:EffectsofEnvironmentalCuesonDietaryDecisions.”Appetite70:1-5.Raphaely, Talia, and DoraMarinova. 2016. ImpactofMeatConsumptiononHealthandEnvironmentalSustainability.Pennsylvania:InformationScienceReference.Siriano,Maria. 2017. “My Biggest Vegan ChallengeWas One I Didn't Expect.” TheKitchn,April26.http://www.thekitchn.com/my9biggest-vegan-challenge-was-one-i-didnt-expect-227592.“Veganism.” Google Trends, September 16.https://trends.google.co.uk/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&q=%2Fm%2F07_hy(September16,2017).


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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Theadviceandfeedbackofthe2018CSIteachingteam,inparticularRisaTohaandChin-Hao Huang, is gratefully acknowledged. Anju Mary Paul would also like tothankSeanChua(Classof2022)forhissuggestionsandallthestudentswhokindlyallowed anonymised excerpts from their essays to be included in this guide.Studentswhohave ideas foradditionalsections thatshouldbeaddedto [email protected].

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