Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
CeronnePrevatt1
Life Skills Technical Consultant2
[email protected]@yahoo.com
www.liberationeducation.com
1Prevatt, Ceronne andPrevatt-Hyles, Dianne. 2012. Life Skills Training – a Critical Reflective Approach. Xlibris. ISBN: 978-1-4691-6068 - 32 International Professional Life Skills Association: [email protected]
1
“Being in control of your life and having realistic
expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the
keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most
important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and
rewarding life.”
Marilu Henner
Is the pursuit of Happiness our raison d’etre?
(United States Declaration of Independence 1776)
The methodologies that we will discuss and practise for
managing stress will involve our pursuing an inner core
of principles, perceptions, and
acting based upon these. We will practise personal
productivity skills, physical activities, present
moment awareness, balancing your life, conflict
resolution skills, journaling and meditation.
2
In our pursuit of happiness and success, we will make
decisions and follow through on being stress-free.
3
4
STRESS
DEFINITION
Stress is a state of tension related to your body attempting to
cope with its environment; it’s the body’s way of preparing to
meet a tough situation. Anxiety is a sense of apprehension, dread
and/or uneasiness. We tend to perceive anxiety and stress as
negative, but in fact both are normal and can be adaptive. The
stress response involves the nervous system and specific hormones
in the body, and it enhances the ability to perform under
pressure as well as avoid danger. It is when stress is excessive
or on-going and interfering with functioning that anxiety and
stress become a problem. This can lead to wearing out the body’s
reserves and leaving a person feeling depleted or overwhelmed,
weakening the immune system and making it harder to cope with
daily demands. The first step is to learn to recognize when you
are stressed, the next is to find a way to deal with stress.
CAUSE
5
Stress can be caused by events that are pleasing as well as
events that create crisis in our lives. Change causes stress—good
change or bad change; it does not make a difference. When change
occurs we usually experience some level of stress. For example,
the birth of a baby can create stress. Trying to fulfil the
requirements of your case manager can be stressful. Getting
married or planning a birthday party for a family member can
cause stress. Anything that causes us to have a physical or
emotional reaction can create stress.
6
7
Think of a very stressful situation you have been going through or went through in the last few years.
• What did you feel like?
• What were your thoughts?
• What did you do about it?
What would you do differently in the future?
8
Did you avoid, alter, adapt, or accept?
Complete this Word Match as you consider.
Are your reactions to stress largely Physical _____________________________
Mental _____________________________
Emotional or _____________________________
Behavioural? _____________________________
9
Put an x to indicate where you are on each continuum.
SOMATIC EXPERIENCING
Do you ignore your body or avoid thinking about how your body is
responding to stress?
Try Somatic Experiencing: Becoming aware and focusing on your
bodily sensations gets you in touch with the tension and lets
your survival releasing instincts take over.
Somatic experiencing takes advantage of the body’s unique ability
to heal itself. The focus is on bodily sensations, rather than
thoughts and memories about the traumatic event. By concentrating
on what’s happening in your body, the physiological effects, you
gradually get in touch with stress and trauma-related energy and
tension. From there, your natural survival instincts take over,
safely releasing this pent-up energy through shaking, crying, and
other forms of physical release.
10
YOGA
Yoga's combined focus on mindfulness, breathing and physical
movements brings health benefits with regular participation:
better sleep, increased energy levels and muscle tone,
relief from muscle pain and stiffness, improved circulation
and overall better general health. The breathing aspect of
yoga can benefit heart rate and blood pressure
TAI CHI
11
Tai Chi, is a moving form of yoga and meditation combined.
Many of the sequences of movements are originally derived
from the martial arts or more ancestrally than that, from
the natural movements of animals and birds, slowly, softly
and gracefully with smooth and even transitions between
them.
Tai Chi fosters the circulation of 'chi' a vital force that
animates the body, in patterns that are close related to the
nervous and vascular system, and enhances health and
vitality. It corrects poor postural, alignment or movement
patterns which can contribute to tension or injury while the
meditative nature of the exercises is calming and relaxing.
REIKI
Knowledge and practice of using Universal Life Energy is
part of the ancient knowledge of the First nations, from the
aborigines of Australia to the Amerindians of America. It
formed part of ancient teachings from Alexandria to Tibet.
This practice continues with peoples of our world but was
lost to many as the world advanced in materialism.
12
Reiki is a Japanese word representing Universal Life Energy,
the energy that is all around us. This healing energy when
activated and applied, addresses body, mind and spirit. It
accelerates the body’s natural ability to heal physical
ailments and opens the mind and spirit to the causes of
disease, disharmony and pain. Within this balance and
understanding, one can take responsibility to one’s own life
and healing, and experience the joys of balanced wellness.
The experience of a Reiki self treatment or by another
Reiki practitioner, is usually a deep feeling of warmth,
well-being and comfort.
Are you too busy working to focus on your own thoughts?
Cognitive-behavioral processing helps you process and evaluate your thoughts and feelings about any stress and trauma you are experiencing.
What problematic beliefs are feeding any negative thoughts and behaviours?
Cognitive-behavioral processing
• Requires you to think about you; to spend time and effort analyzing your thoughts and feelings.
13
• Such self-analysis can be difficult, but it is a great way to learn more about how your internal states impact outward behaviour.
• helps you develop coping skills that can be useful both now and in the future by using strategies e.g. journaling, role-playing, relaxation techniques, and rational self-counselling and co-counselling skills as in the Gift of Listening.
• Socratic questioning e.g. "How do I really know that those people are laughing at me?" "Could they be laughing about something else?“
• Inductive method to find out the facts.
Based on clearer information, we then practise new ways of reacting/ behaving.
Please Listen
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don't talk or do - just hear me.Advice is cheap – 2 dollars will get you both several sets of advice in the same newspaper.
14
And I can do for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.
Perhaps that's why prayer works - sometimes - for some people, because God is mute. and he doesn't give advice or try to fix things.God just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, and I will listen to you.
15
Remember these are intrinsic qualities of everyone.
Some are manifested more than others at a particular time.
THE GIFT OF LISTENING
16
How do you like to be listened to in an affective encounter and take the opportunity to do some Cognitive-Behavioral processing?
17
Attentively
Without interruptions out of curiosity
With confidentiality
No advice
ACTIVITY 3: In pairs, give the other the gift of listening. You may speak on anything in the past that matters to your mind, bodyand spirit and therefore your stress level.
o Break the isolation.o Agree on the length of time each would speak to the other:
same time for each.At the end of the time, affirm the other.Speak her name. Contradict the negative and reinforce the positive. Remind her of 1 or 2 of her relevant intrinsic qualities.
o Do not refer to her material after the session, even to her.Maintain strict confidentiality.
“The first duty of love is to listen.” -Paul Tillich
How does affective listening work?
A listens to B A affirms B
18
B listens to A B affirms A
HOMEWORK: Teach the gift of listening to your personal partner and your professional partner.
METHODOLOGIES FOR MANAGING STRESS
19
“ Next to love, balance is the most important thing”
John Wooden
1.PERSONAL PRODUCTIVITY SKILLS - Read a good book, Work on a hobby, Play an instrument. laugh more.
20
TASK: Laugh – Turn to your partner , remember a joke and laugh – you could share the joke afterwards.
What you do and what goes into you – what you eat - Be aware of the foods you eat. Some foods with hydrogenated fat, sugar, caffeine, nicotine, salt and additives can contribute to stress.
TASK: Share with your neighbour one food among these that you will definitely not give up!
Plan
Establishing priorities and being well organized can relieve stress.
Consider making a list of tasks that are critical and tackle them in order of importanceand urgency. If you have something particularlyonerous to accomplish, put it at the top of your list and complete it quickly. Once it is done, the biggest part of the pressure is gone.
Breaking projects into small steps is alsoa stress reducer. When a large project seems crushing, develop a step-by-step action plan. Focus on nailing one step at a time, rather than trying to “eat the whole elephant at once”.
Delegate responsibility and lighten your burdens with the help of team members who are happy to assist. Seek win-win gains with fellow employees, clients and vendors. Be willing to compromise when it makes sense.
21
Good time management is a powerful tool to reduce stress and encourage a balanced life.
TASK: Check your diaries regarding the week you return from this conference.
Consider developing a balanced schedule that allows you to analyze time, responsibilities, and daily tasks. Work toachieve balance in work, personal time, family life, social activities and personal interests. This effort requires lines in the sand that won’t be crossed.
Are you ruthless enough in your own self interest? Body, Mind and Spirit?. Avoid over-committing to anyone. Avoid scheduling too much into the space of a day.
22
1. PHYSICAL ACTIVITIESMaintain balanced diet and sleep cycle as much as possible
Exercise. Taking a walk is the easiest and most effectivemeans of reducing stress. But do what you planned to – water aerobics? cycling? yoga? bicycling? – but from now.
TASK: Arrange it this evening – email who you need to andput it in your diary. We know about procrastination and putting yourself last!
2. PRESENT MOMENT AWARENESS – of my mind, body and spirit
“Now is the time to be aware of the present moment. I let go of the past and the future.”
Focus on being mindful of your thoughts when you are doing every day tasks and it will be easier to remain mindful whenthings get tough with problems/ challenges.Release attachment to things and situations past and present-and focus on being grateful for what I have in the moment. It is in the moment that you are happy, with inner peace.
23
Take time to think and relax.
Commit to something personally meaningful and important every day.
Listen to music. Pleasure yourself with art.
Add the element of active feedback into your practice
Take a mental health day and spend time with yourself or with friends ( don’t take your laptop, Kindle, i-pad, tablet, smart phone or google glasses with you.
Dance like no one’s looking. Enjoy the moment. If you arein a wheelchair do a sit-down dance, raise your hands andsmile at your neighbour.TASK : Dance madly -(but not in the conference room now).. Live in the present: appreciate where you are right now.Live in a spirit of gratitude.TASK: What 2 good things have happened so far today?
3. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS
24
Conflict is a serious disagreement or argument. It existswhen one person has a need of the other and that need is not being met. What is it that you need? What do you needin a work relationship?Conflict Management is a process of attempting to manage and resolve a dispute or a conflict.
Who is your support system? Think of 2 persons you know -friends or family that you trust and can talk about problems you have or decisions that you must make. Important to build your support system.
Develop your communication skills so that your communication is honest, direct, and respectful of yourself and others. Honest but kind. Kind but not a floor cloth. Assertive but not aggressive.
ASSERTIVENESS
ACTIVITY : Circle your level of assertiveness in your personal life and underline your level of assertiveness in your professional life.
______________________________________________________________________________
Am I passive? Passive aggressive? Assertive? or Aggressive?
Assertiveness is situational.
Formula for Assertiveness :
25
o Describe your feelings.o Describe the other’s action.o Tell why you feel this way.o Express the desired behavior in a SMART way.
e.g. “I feel terrible when you ignore me in public because we are supposed to be close. I wish you would walk next to me, listen to my ideas and stay and speak with me.”
ACTIVITY : Look at the current conflict you have and write an assertive statement to that person.
Note: Nothing that could be interpreted as insulting is included.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
TASK: Have you ever had to get rid of the services of someone in your employ at home or work? How did you do it? What did you say? How did you feel?
The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination, and the energy to get started. Norman Cousins,
26
TASK: Pathways/ Options: Who do you have a little or big conflict with? Identify areas of agreement and disagreement and look for options, several options to resolve the conflict in a win/win solution.
Practice seeing options and resources that can be used to solve problems- even when the problem is not yours directly. For practice, think of what you can do, what options there are or can be to solve the problem of our mis-educating our young men (and women) and initiating them into criminal lives – white collar and otherwise. Take 1 minute to practise with your neighbour.
Stress leaves when everyone has clear and concise information on the operations of the work in hand egthe criminal system. Invite honesty and transparencyabout the challenges.
Define roles and responsibilities and to allow others ( and you) to have a voice in decisions on scheduling, workloads, deadlines and rules that willaffect key outcomes.
Stress in the workplace minimized with the provisionof opportunities for career development and enforcement of a zero-tolerance policy for harassment.
Be guided by your organizational values. At your finger tips?
4. JOURNALING
As a stress management and self-exploration tool, journaling is more than keeping a log/ diary : it is exploring and writing in detail about feelings and cognitions related to stressful and stress-free events.
27
It releasing the emotions involved, and by engaging both hemispheres of the brain in the process, allows the experience to become fully integrated in one’s mind. It’s also a good problem-solving tool; sometimes, one can,hash out a problem and come up with solutions more easily on paper. Interestingly, research shows that journalling
• counteracts many of the negative effects of stress.• decreases the symptoms of asthma, arthritis, and other
health conditions.• improves cognitive functioning.• strengthens the immune system, preventing a host of
illnesses.TASK: If not yet, let’s begin now.
5. PRAY, MEDITATE, listening to relaxing guided imagery; to quiet your mind and body
TASK: Close your eyes for a minute and visualise your favourite peaceful scene- somewhere with plenty greens and blues.Practise informal hands-on healing – Reiki is what the Japanese call the initiated form. Do palming; cover your eyes with your hands
Breathe deeply and use breathing exercises to relieve anxiety, depression, irritability, and fatigue.
6. HOPE
28
Be an optimist. Be positive. When you
can manage to do this, stress flies
away. Eliminate self-defeating behavior.
Negative thoughts exacerbate pressures
and reduce your energy, hope and
motivation. Don’t allow your mind to
dwell on what you can’t personally
repair. Rather, fix your attention on
what you can control and improve.
Snyder (1999)characterized hopeful thinkers as people who are
able to establish clear goals, imagine multiple workable
pathways/ options toward those goals, and persevere, even when
obstacles get in their way. Hope and forgiveness are healthy.
Snyder found that hopeful thinking is one of the biggest
determinants of success - more so even than intelligence, skill
or previous success - so it's an attribute that we could all
benefit from having more of. Be optimistic – in the midst of
everything.
29
Remember, the reward is in the journey.• Feels great to reach a goal, but if you do not replace that
goal with another one, you will soon find yourself feeling unfulfilled.
• We, humans, need goals so we can have a sense of purpose andfulfilment.
• It is in the journey that we learn, grow, and become better.When you’re practicing mindfulness, remember that there is nowhere to arrive at. If you focus on what is going on rightnow, the rest take care of itself.
• Sometimes you may want to be anywhere but in the now. That is an opportunity to learned to accept the moment for what it is. Then, you become the guardian of your inner space, which is the only way to feel good inside and find peace of mind, right now.
30
Namaste.
[email protected]@yahoo.comwww.liberationeducation.comInternational Professional Life SkillsAssociation:international.lifeskills.a@gmail . com
Prevatt, Ceronne and Prevatt-Hyles, Dianne. 2012. Life Skills Training – a Critical Reflective Approach.Xlibris. ISBN: 978-1-4691-6068 - 3
THE END
31
Meditation
32
Relax and let Me lead you through this day. I have everything under control. My control. You tend to peer anxiously into the day that is before you, trying to figure out what to do and when.Meanwhile, the phone or the doorbell rings, and you have to reshuffle your plans. All that planning ties you up in knots anddistracts you from Me. Attentiveness to Me is not only for your quiet time, but for all your time. As you look to Me, I show youwhat to do now and next.
Vast quantities of time and energy are wasted in obsessive planning. When youlet Me direct your steps, you are set free to enjoy Me and to find what I haveprepared for you this day.……………..
participants
[email protected]@[email protected]@[email protected]@[email protected] E. ReidJames M. [email protected]@anguilla-attorney.comIvenia A. BenjaminVernette S. [email protected]
33
ASSERTIVENESS
ACTIVITY : Circle your level of assertiveness in your personal life and underline your level of assertiveness in your professional life.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Am I passive? Passive aggressive? Assertive? or Aggressive?
Assertiveness is situational.
Formula for Assertiveness:
o Describe your feelings.o Describe the other’s action.o Tell why you feel this way.o Express the desired behavior in a SMART way.
e.g. “I feel terrible when you ignore me in public because we are supposed to be close. I wish you would walk next to me, listen to my ideas and stay and speak with me.”
34
ACTIVITY : Look at the current conflict you have and write an assertive statement to that person.
Note: Nothing that could be interpreted as insulting is included.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
35
Spiritual
Social
Physical
Intellectual Ancestral
A
AchievementsStrengthsChallenges
S.M.A.R.T Goals
THE WHEEL OF LIFE3
UZINGA – the irresistible urge to become
Maintaining a positive balance among the seven dimensions in both yourpersonal and professional lives.
ACTIVITY 4:
o Note your strengths and challenges in each dimension that spans your personal and professional lives.
o Take the outer edge of this model as 10/10 and the inner circle as 1/10.
o Plot your strengths and see how balanced you are. Plot whereyou think you are in each dimension: write a dot or some symbol.
o Then join the dots to give you an idea of how balanced your life is – and how you might bring it more into balance.
3 Modified by CeronnePrevatt
36
Intellectual
Cultural Emotional
Ancestral
A
AchievementsStrengthsChallenges
S.M.A.R.T Goals
ACTIVITY 4 b:
o Jot down any SMART goal/s you will pursue as a result of this exercise.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT (S.M.A.R.T) PLAN
Use this SMART mnemonic when you are writing a goal youintend to reach.
37
MY BUCKET LIST - ONE YEAR TO GO!
ACTIVITY 5a: Write three (3) things in the bucket that you would do if you knew you had one year to live aftertoday.
38
SMART
o What are the things that you value?
o How many of the activities in your bucket deal with your professional life?
o How many of the activities in your bucket deal with your personal life?
o Is there a balance here? Note your priorities in this circumstance.
ACTIVITY 5b:
o What do I value more than gold?
o Why is it important to me?
o How do I demonstrate this in my professional life?39
o How do I demonstrate this in my personal life?
o Am I pleased with this weighting?
ACTIVITY 5c: My dearest values
MY DEAREST VALUES HOW I MANIFEST THIS VALUE IN MY PERSONAL
HOW I MANIFEST THIS VALUE IN MY
40
LIFE PROFESSIONAL LIFE
STRESS
o Am I enjoying my life? Am I satisfied?
41
o What gives me satisfaction / happiness in my professionallife?
o What gives me happiness / satisfaction in my personal life?
o What stresses me?
o What makes me angry?
o Do I have any conflict with someone that matters?
ACTIVITY 6: What stresses me? What are my triggers to anger? What conflict is there currently in my life?
Stresses in my life How do I managestress? Circlewhich of the following helps you tomanage the stresses in your life. The ones you give your time and energy to.
Physical exercise/relaxation techniques/leisure activities/nutrition
Deep breathing/yoga/reiki/prayer/meditation
Friendships/affective listening/meaningful goals
Anything else? …………………………………………………
My triggers to angerWhich situation/event/person sets-off your anger?
How do I manage anger?Rethink and Reframe
Get an idea of what is really atthe root of my anger. What feelings from the past are fuelling my anger?
42
Anything else? …………………………………………………
My little (or big) conflict currently. Is it in my personal or my professional life?
STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1.Create an effective mood.
43
2.Seek the facts, feelings, values, perceptions and needs.
3.Focus on individual and shared needs.4.Build shared positive power.5.Look to the future and then learn from the past. 6.Create many options to choose from.7.Develop SMART ‘do-ables’ – specific actions that
have a chance at being successful.8.Make mutual benefit agreements.
ASSERTIVENESS
ACTIVITY 7: Circle your level of assertiveness in your personal life and underline your level of assertiveness in your professional life.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Am I passive? Passive aggressive? Assertive? or Aggressive?
Assertiveness is situational: are you maintaining a balance?
Formula for Assertiveness:
o Describe your feelings.o Describe the other’s action.
44
o Tell why you feel this way.o Express the desired behavior in a SMART way.
e.g. “I feel terrible when you ignore me in public because we are supposed to be close.Iwish you would walk next to me, listen to my ideas and stay and speak with me.”
ACTIVITY 7b: Look at the current conflict you have and write an assertive statement to that person.
Note: Nothing that could be interpreted as insulting is included.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
A WELL-BALANCED LIFE
“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.”-Barbara de Angelis
“Work, love and play are the great balance wheels of man's being.”-Orison SwettMarden
Balance is it. Balancing our duty of care to those we seek justice for in our professional life - with caringfor ourselves and our families. We, women and men, do
45
not have 300% to give so we find a balance of our personal and professional life that leaves us happy andhealthy.
Are you giving enough? More than enough? Too much? In your personal life or in your professional life?
GOAL SETTING
“Nothing is particularly hard if you break it down into smaller jobs.”-Henry Ford
So, when we plan manageable steps towards our key goalsfor a balanced and happy life, we feel more motivated and committed and we may remember to review and
46
reassess after each small manageable step as we proceed.
ACTIVITY 8:
o Have I achieved perfect equilibrium in my personal and professional life already?
o What are my goals for achieving balance? –my long term goal.
o What are my steps towards it? – medium term and short term goals.
Write a SMART personal development statement on what I will do to achieve balance in my personal and professional life.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
“ What I dream of is an art of balance”
Henri Matisse
47
This diagram shows the progress towards our long term goals – our dream –our vision for our personal life andour vision for our professional life. Attaining a balance makes it possible for our complete vision to beachieved.
Multiple GOALS:
Academic and Career Goals Relationship Goals Possession Goals
All the best in your journey to balance and happiness.
[email protected]@yahoo.comwww.liberationeducation.com
48
Long
Term(10+
years)
Medium
Term(3-10
years)
Short
Term(less
than
3
years)
[email protected] Professional Life SkillsAssociation:international.lifeskills.a@gmail . com
Prevatt, Ceronne andPrevatt-Hyles, Dianne. 2012. Life Skills Training – a Critical Reflective Approach.Xlibris. ISBN: 978-1-4691-6068 - 3
49
