communication SkillS training

communication SkillS training

This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP

communication SkillS training toolS

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http://advalue-project.eu

table of contentS

1 | Communication Skills Training ................................................................................................................. 4

2 | Criteria for Assessing Communication Competence ..................................... 14

3 | Communication Skills Self-Assessment Exercise .................................................. 17

4 | Communications Planning ......................................................................................................................... 25

5 | The Communication Cycle .......................................................................................................................... 27

6 | The 7 Cs of Communication ...................................................................................................................... 31

7 | Making a Great First Impression! ...................................................................................................... 35

8 | Body Language ............................................................................................................................................................... 38

9 | Mehrabian’s Communication Model ......................................................................................... 42

10 | Assertiveness .................................................................................................................................................................. 44

11 | Giving Feedback ....................................................................................................................................................... 48

12 | Getting Feedback ................................................................................................................................................... 50

13 | Feedback Matrix ........................................................................................................................................................ 53

14 | Active Listening ......................................................................................................................................................... 55

15 | Role Playing ....................................................................................................................................................................... 58

16 | Conflict Resolution ............................................................................................................................................... 59

17 | Journal writing ............................................................................................................................................................. 64

18 | Learner copy 1 .............................................................................................................................................................. 65 Communication skill descriptors scaling sheet

19 | Learner copy 2 ............................................................................................................................................................... 67 Communication skill descriptors scaling sheet

20 | Learner copy 3 .............................................................................................................................................................. 69 Communication skill descriptors scaling sheet

21 | Tutor copy 1 ....................................................................................................................................................................... 71 Communication skill descriptors scaling sheet




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table of contentS



24 | Line manager/Mentor/Peer copy 1 ......................................................................................... 77 Communication skill descriptors scaling sheet



27 | CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION ......................................................................................................... 83




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communication SkillS training

I. Introduction

1. Overview of the training.

Everyone uses interpersonal communication skills. We use them at home with our families, in the workplace with our bosses and coworkers, on our computers when we answer email, and on the telephone when we order pizza. This manual is intended to help you improve your interpersonal communication skills and develop new skills to become a more effective communicator.

Interpersonal communication applies to all of our relationships, personal and business. Others respect or reject us based on our interpersonal communication skills. People send us messages in every interpersonal communication encounter. Those messages can be explicit (verbal comments) or implicit (nonverbal facial expressions, other body language, and physical space).

The first step in communication is using the appropriate method. In the work place there is likely to be a variety of tools available and you will need to decide whether a situation calls for an email, a phone call or a face to face conversation.

In particular, when you are in a new job role, you can gain benefits from making first approaches with new colleagues by going to see them, or by telephoning customers or clients introducing yourself rather than using email. Both face to face conversations and telephone calls allow you to have two-way conversation and give you an opportunity to get your personality across, which is far harder via email. Conversely email is great if you are trying to organise a meeting or to summarise the action points from a meeting as it is more time effective than telephoning everyone individually.

Ascertaining the appropriate tone to use in any given situation is the second step to success. This applies when either written or verbal communication is called upon. To be able to do this, you need to understand who your audience is. A formal tone is more appropriate when addressing a new or recently acquired customer than if you were to address your colleagues in a team meeting.

Hand in hand with this approach is recognising when you need to adapt the way you present information based on the experience of your audience. It would be reasonable to assume, when presenting information to a group of colleagues who have been working on a project with you, that they would have a similar level of background knowledge and understanding as you do. Therefore you could use common abbreviations and acronyms without the need for explanation. Conversely if you are communicating the results of your project to a new audience, you need to ensure that any abbreviations or acronyms are clearly explained.

Communication should never be a one-way process. When we talk about ‘actively listening’, it means ensuring you are engaged with others in order to understand what they are saying. Asking questions and summarising the main points of the conversation is a good way of checking your understanding of what has been discussed and demonstrates that you have been listening to what the other person has been saying. Visibly showing




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your interest in what others are saying helps to build rapport and can also be achieved through positive body language like appropriately maintaining eye contact, smiling and nodding.

Competency in written and verbal communication skills means you are able to:

Select appropriate and effective communication methods.Ascertain the appropriate tone and level of language in specific situations.

Present information via a verbal or written medium that is easily comprehensible to others.

Actively listen and pay attention to people, asking questions if necessary.

This course, designed for AdValue project, will provide innovative training contents and tools to allow participants to learn, practice and increase their Communication Skils.

2. Learning objectives.

Familiarize the students with the concept of human communication; theories and dimensions; and its role in the success of the individual on personal, social, and practical levels.

Make sure that The student acquires the necessary skills of the effective communication with himself and others in social and formal settings.

Teach the student how to apply these skills in various life situations.

The main aims of the training module are to foster:

Awareness of the variability of language and communication forms over time and in different

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geographical, social and Communications environments.

Sound knowledge of Basic vocabulary, functional grammar and style, functions of language.

Awareness of various types of verbal interaction (conversations, interviews, debates, etc.) and the main features of different styles and registers in spoken language.

Understanding the paralinguistic features of communication (voice-quality features, facial expressions, postural and gesture systems).

And to practice and to improve the:

Skills needed to use aids (such as notes, schemes, maps) to produce, present or understand complex texts in written or oral form (speeches, conversations, instructions, interviews, debates).

Ability to communicate, in written or oral form, and understand, or make others understand, various messages in a variety of situations and for different purposes. Communication includes the ability to listen to and understand various spoken messages in a variety of communicative situations and to speak concisely and clearly. It also comprises the ability to monitor whether one is getting one’s message across successfully and the ability to initiate, sustain and end a conversation in different communicative contexts.

Ability to distinguish, in listening, speaking, reading and writing, relevant from irrelevant information.

Ability to formulate one’s arguments, in speaking or writing, in a convincing manner and take full account of other viewpoints, whether expressed in written or oral form.

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3. Learning outcomes – the expected results from the trainings

The student should be able to:

Identify basic communication principles.

Apply a communication process model.

Set clear goals for their communication.

Determine outcomes and results.

Initiate communications.

Avoid communication breakdowns.

Translate across communication styles.

Listen for improved understanding.

Achieve genuine communication.

Match the body language to the message.

Work constructively with emotions.

Manage verbal communication.

4. Training Module AdValue.

Communication Skills Training programme is designed for participants to take a serious look at themselves in relation to who they are now and who and how they want to be in the future. Provides participants with the opportunity to understand how communication works and how to communicate with confidence and flair.

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Communicate skills is therefore a challenging training programme that incorporates material from many disciplines. It aims to make a substantial difference to each participant’s leadership, communication and relationship skills.

The course is designed to equip participants with the awareness, tools, confidence and energy to create the impact they choose, when they choose to create it. Our central and guiding focus is to constantly reinforce confidence in participants by concentrating on what works about the individual.

The training programme is a journey that begins by exploring the dynamics and techniques of effective interpersonal communication, moving on to the subtle nuances of perception and finally to the full impact of connection when presenting and relationship building.

5. Description of the “physical” framework of the training:

Target group.

This course is designed for anyone who requires the skills to clearly communicate with others in the workplace and in the professional life. Therefore is designed for individuals who want to:

Learn and practice principles essential to good oral and written communication.

Gain useful and pragmatic strategies for communicating in a variety of workplace situations.

Speak, write, and listen with increased confidence and competence.

Enhance leadership skills and opportunities for career promotion.

Develop personal presence and greater self-trust.

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Learn in a supportive environment.

Optimal number of participants: 8-12

Environment – Indoor

Duration of the whole training module. 20 h

Resources

PowerPoint.

Sheets

Templates.

Video.

Segments of books.

II. Topic template

Subtopic Approaches, methods, tools Duration

1. The base of Communication

Lecture / Group Discussion 2 hours

2. Setting clear goals for your communication

Lecture / Group Discussion / Individual

activities

4 hours

3. Communication in person

Lecture / Group Discussion /

Work in pairs / Role playing

2 hours

4. FeedbackLecture / Group

Discussion / Role playing

3 hours

5. Listening for improved understanding

Lecture / Group Discussion / Role playing

2 hours

6. Difficult communication situations

Lecture / Group Discussion / Role playing

3 hours

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III. Training process

1. Subtopic N 1 – The base of Communication.

1.1. Learning objectives.

Upon completion of this subtopic, participants should be able to:

Identify basic communication principles.

Recognize perceptual filters that hinder communication.

1.2. Trainers’ Toolbox.

Tool 1.A - Criteria for Assessing Communication Competence

Tool 1.B - Communication Skills Self-assessment exercise.

1.3. Training process.

Theory.

During this unit we will identify basic communication principles and we will recognize perceptual filters that hinder communication.

We will stress the Importance of removing barriers. Communication barriers can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of sender, message, channel, receiver, feedback and context) and have the potential to create misunderstanding and confusion.

To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of these barriers at each stage of this process with clear, concise, accurate, well-planned communications.

To deliver your messages effectively, you must commit to breaking down the barriers that exist in each of these stages of the communication process.

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Let’s begin with the message itself. If your message is too lengthy, disorganized, or contains errors, you can expect the message to be misunderstood and misinterpreted. Use of poor verbal and body language can also confuse the message.

Barriers in context tend to stem from senders offering too much information too fast. When in doubt here, less is oftentimes more. It is best to be mindful of the demands on other people’s time, especially in today’s ultra-busy society.

Once you understand this, you need to work to understand your audience’s culture, making sure you can converse and deliver your message to people of different backgrounds and cultures within your own organization, in this country and even abroad.

If you want to be an expert communicator, you need to be effective at all points in the communication process – and you must be comfortable with the different channels of communication. When you communicate well, you can be very successful. On the other hand, poor communicators struggle to develop their careers beyond a certain point.

Approaches and methods.

Lecture/discussion with maximum trainee participation through questioning and relating of personal experience.

The foregoing module is easily adapted to discussion. The trainer should attempt to elicit from the trainees their experiences with transmission, interference and ways of avoiding interference, which are well within the purview of trainee experience.

Trainees should be asked to tell the course participants about good communicators and poor communicators they have known, describing why they are memorable. The reasons they give should be related to the types of interference and ways

in which interference was or could have been avoided.

We will use Tools 1.A- Criteria for Assessing Communication Competence and 1.B- Communication Skills Self-assessment exercise so that to make trainees aware about different communication elements and to assess their own communication skill profile.

Such a discussion invariably brings out other indirectly related aspects of spoken communication which provide points of reference when subjects in later unites are being dealt with.

2. Subtopic N 2 - Setting clear goals for your communication.



2.1 Determine outcomes and results

Solicit feedback

Match intentions and results

2.2 Initiate communications

Figure out what to say and the best way to say it


Tool 2 – Communication Planning.

Tool 3 – Communication Cycle.

Tool 4 – The 7 Cs of Communication and training.


Theory.

The first principle of public speaking is to have a clear-cut objective. This unit provides clues for identifying and training how to plan the communication. To be

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a successful public speaker, people must be able to answer the following questions:

1. Who is your audience?

2. What does the audience want most?

3. How can you help get what they want?

Tool 2 Communication Planning will help participants through the preparation steps and so help them create an audience-focused communication plan that’s sure to get your message heard.

Do you ever get lost while organizing your message, or struggle to identify what your audience truly needs to know? There are so many factors to consider during preparation and presentation that it’s easy to forget an important point.

The Communication Cycle, Tool 3, is a six-step process that helps participants to develop and refine their message. It helps them ensure that they don’t forget anything essential the first time they present it, and it helps them maximize its impact in the times that follow. By putting the process into the form of a cycle, this approach encourages them to use the feedback they receive to improve their communications in the future.

We can spend almost our entire day communicating. So, how can we provide a huge boost to our productivity? We can make sure that we communicate in the clearest, most effective way possible. Tool 4, 7 Cs of Communication, provide a checklist for making sure that meetings, emails, conference calls, reports, and presentations are well constructed and clear – so the audience gets our message.


Lecture/ group discussion with maximum trainee participation through questioning and relating of personal experience.

Trainees will be asked to develop their own communication planning, using the template and recommendation of Tool 2.

Trainees will practice also with Tool 3- Communication Cycle, and Tool 4, 7 Cs of Communication. Participants will be asked to put in common their results.

3. Subtopic N 3 – Communication in person.



3.1.1. Create value in their conversations

Strength their relationships

Distinguish value from waste

3.1.2. Take personal responsibility

Recognize their role in creating successful communications

Identify internal and external factors that impact their communications

Communicate nondefensively

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3.1.3. Match their body language to their message

Enhance their message to gain their intended results

Creat believable and credible messages

Ensure that their attitude supports rather than hinders communication

Speak through silence


Tool 5 – Make a great first impression.

Tool 6 – Non verbal communication.

Tool 7 – Mehrabian´s Communication model.

Tool 8 – Assertiveness.


Theory.

It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed. So whether they are in your career or social life, it’s important to know how to create a good first impression. Tool 5 will help us to work on first impressions, providing some useful tips.

The difference between the words people speak and our understanding of what they are saying comes from non-verbal communication, otherwise known as “body language”. By developing your awareness of the signs and signals of body language, you can more easily understand other people, and more effectively communicate with them. Tool 6 will explain many of the ways in which we communicate non-verbally, so that you can use these signs and signals to communicate more effectively.

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So communication is made up of more than just the words we use. Our tone of voice, facial expression and body language all play a major role in how we’re understood. And if we’re communicating in a situation where we can’t use all of these elements to enhance our messages, we need to be very careful.

We might well have heard the popular statistic that only 7% of any message is conveyed through the words you choose. The other 93% is allegedly found in subtle clues like your tone of voice and body language. This claim stems from a study done by psychologist Albert Mehrabian in the late Sixties. But beware, it’s all too often misquoted! In Tool 7 we’ll explain what Mehrabian’s Communication Model really says, and look at how you can use its findings in your everyday life.

Are you comfortable talking with people you don’t know? Do you dread saying no? Do you allow strangers to cut you off in the cafeteria line? Do you regret stepping on others to achieve your goals? Do you feel you get your needs across to others?

Your words and behavior tell people who you are. Human communication and behavior fall into three basic categories:

Passiveness.

Aggressiveness.

Assertiveness.

Assertiveness is an alternative to the extremes of passiveness and aggressiveness. Norma Carr-Ruffino defines assertion as “confidently expressing what you think, feel and believe - standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others.” Assertiveness is not necessarily easy, but it is a skill that can be learned. Tool 8 will help us to identify and practice assertiveness.


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Trainees will practice in pairs presentation skills, following the suggestions of Tool 5.

They will practice in group the identification of non verbal aspects of communication as is showed in Tool 6.

Finally, they will practice assertiveness, making role playing in pairs that will be discussed in group with Tool 8.

4. Subtopic N 4 - Feedback.


Establish message feedback.


Tool 9 – Giving feedback.

Tool 10 – Getting feedback.

Tool 11 – Feedback matrix.


Theory.

When done in the right way and with the right intentions, feedback communication is the avenue to performance greatness. Employees have to know what they are doing well and not so well. For them to really hear your thoughts and suggestions on ways to improve, though, that feedback has to be delivered carefully and frequently. Giving feedback effectively is a skill. And like all skills, it takes practice to build your confidence and improve. Toll 9 provides a collection of “feedback giving” tips that trainees can start putting into practice.

To our skills and grow professionally, it’s essential that we get feedback on the work that we do. After all, we can’t fix something that we don’t know is

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broken! In turn, we improvement could lead to a promotion or to other opportunities down the road. It will also raise our self-confidence, and show our boss that we truly care about our work. Working with Tool 10 we’ll look at how to ask for feedback, and how you can learn from it.

The feedback matrix is a useful tool that helps with self-exploration. It encourages us to examine both the positive and negative aspects of feedback, and then connect the comments back to what we already know about opurself, and what wwe did not know and need to explore more fully. We will work with the matrix with Tool 11.



Trainees will practice in pairs feedback skills, following the suggestions of with Tools 9, 10 and 11.

They will get group feedback as well, performing role playings in pairs that will be discussed in group.

5. Subtopic N 5 - Listening for improved understanding.



Ask clarifying questions

Confirm the message

Demonstrate respect, empathy and sensitivity

Listen for the entire message

Interpret nonverbal cues

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Tool 12 – Active Listening.


Theory.

Most of us think we are good listeners. We assume listening comes naturally. However, listening is just as complicated as reading, writing and speaking. Listening requires mental and physical activity. We spend 80 percent of each day listening. Listening is our most frequently used communication skill, yet we often feel that it requires no effort on our part.

During this unit we will be able to identify the difference between Reflecting Listening and Physical Listening. Reflective listening encourages the other person to disclose his feelings, thereby helping him understand his emotions and move toward a solution to the problem. Reflective listening provides a mechanism that draws the other person out. We will learn how we can do this in several ways.

But listening involves also giving physical attention to the speaker. We will learn also how to do it so that to show interest in what is being said. Tool 12 will give us the five key elements of active listening.



With Tool 12 will work on the five key elements of active listening and trainees will be asked to work in pairs to develop their listening skills.

6. Subtopic N 6 - Difficult communication situations.


Upon completion of this subtopic, participants

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should be able to:

6.1 Create openness

Identify appropriate degrees of disclosure

Establish value and trust

6.2 Work in difficult communication situations

Ability to express anger appropriately.

Expression of ability to cope with aggression from others skillfully.


Tool 13- Role Playing.

Tool 14- Conflict resolution.


Theory.

Role playing is a useful technique for thinking about difficult situations before they occur, so that you have good pre-prepared responses for the different eventualities that can arise. Role-playing can also be used to analyze problems from different

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perspectives, to spark brainstorming sessions, to experiment with different solutions to a problem, to develop team work, and help group problem-solving. More than this, by preparing for a situation using role-play, people build up experience and self-confidence in handling the situation in real life. We will practices difficult communication situations with Tool 13.

In many cases, conflict in the workplace just seems to be a fact of life. We’ve all seen situations where different people with different goals and needs have come into conflict. And we’ve all seen the often-intense personal animosity that can result. The fact that conflict exists, however, is not necessarily a bad thing: As long as it is resolved effectively, it can lead to personal and professional growth. With Tool 14 we will learn and practice how to resolve conflicts rationally and effectively.

Approaches and methods – detailed description


Trainees will practice in pairs difficult communication situations, following the suggestions of Tools 13 and 14.

They will get group feedback as well, performing role playings in pairs that will be discussed in group.

IV. Trainers Toolbox – All the Annexes.

Tool 1.A - Criteria for Assessing Communication Competence

Tool 1.B - Communication Skills Self-assessment exercise.

Tool 2 - Communication Planning.

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Tool 3 - Communication Cycle.

Tool 4 - The 7 Cs of Communication and training.

Tool 5 – Make a great first impression.

Tool 6 – Non verbal communication.

Tool 7– Mehrabian´s Communication model.

Tool 8 – Assertiveness.

Tool 9 – Giving feedback.

Tool 10 – Getting feedback.

Tool 11 – Feedback matrix.

Tool 12 – Active Listening.

Tool 13 - Role Playing.

Tool 14 - Conflict resolution.

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criteria for aSSeSSing communication competence

Communication competence is the ability to relate to others with accuracy, clarity, comprehensibility, coherence, expertise, effectiveness and appropriateness. It is a measure of determining to what extent the goals of interaction are achieved. However, communicative competence is contingent upon the context in which the interaction takes place. Communication which is successful with one group in one situation may not be perceived as competent with a different group in another situation. McCroskey (“Self-report as an approach to measuring”) clarifies that: “The domain of communicative competence includes learning what the available means are, how they have been employed in various situations in the past, and being able to determine the ones that have the highest probability of success in a given situation.

Canary and Cody (Interpersonal Communication) provide six criteria for assessing competence. The criteria include - adaptability, conversational-involvement, conversational-management, empathy, effectiveness, and appropriateness. They are explained in greater detail below:

1. Adaptability: Adaptability is the ability to assess situations and when necessary change behaviors and goals to meet the needs of interaction. It signals awareness of the other person’s perspectives, interests, goals, and communication approach, plus the willingness to modify ones own behaviors and goals to adapt to the interaction situation. By mindfully tracking what is going on in the intercultural situation, both parties may modify their nonverbal and verbal behavior to achieve a more synchronized communication process. In modifying their behavioral styles, polarized views on the problem may also be depolarized or “softened.” It consists of six factors:

Social experience - participation in various social interactions

Social composure - refers to keeping calm through accurate perception

Social confirmation - refers to acknowledgment of partner’s goals

Appropriate disclosure - being sensitive to amount and type of info

Articulation - ability to express ideas through language

Wit - ability to use humour in adapting to social situations; ease tensions

2. Conversational Involvement: Conversational interaction is a factor that determines the degree to which individuals participate in conversation with others. Specifically, receivers of communication differ in terms of their attentiveness and perceptiveness. These parameters influence how information and cues are received from others.

In a study involving 1000 self-assessment reports, Cegala D J (“Interaction involvement: A cognitive dimension of communicative competence. Communication Education”) found that approximately 48% of individuals are not generally highly involved in their conversations. He describes perceptiveness as, “the ability to assign appropriate meanings to others’ behavior as well as the ability to understand what meanings others have assigned to one’s own behavior”. Attentiveness is cognizance of another’s communicative behavior. Responsiveness is “a tendency to mentally react in a given situation or circumstance and adapt by knowing what to say and when to say.”

Highly involved persons are predicted to be more issue-oriented and attentive to the underlying message in the conversation. On the other hand, less involved persons are expected to concentrate on events or surface of the conversation.

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3. Conversational Management: Conversation-management is essentially the way the communicators regulate their interactions. It is a matter of knowing the rules of interpersonal communication exchanges and following them. Communication rules are just like other socially conditioned behaviors and are acquired in the same way. What are the rules that an astute and observant communicator knows about to manage interaction?

Wiemann J (Explication and Test of a Model of Communicative Competence: Human communication”) mentions the five most common communicative competencies:

First, one cannot interrupt the speaker.

Second, only one person may talk at a time.

Third, speakers’ turns must alternate or interchange.

Fourth, frequent or long pauses are inappropriate.

Fifth, both parties should be assured that the other is devoting his or her undivided attention.

4. Empathy: Empathy, in its broadest usage, is considered a fundamental dimensión of interpersonal and communication competence.

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Empathy is the ability to demonstrate understanding and sharing reactions in any given situation. It is an innate human capacity that gives the ability to understand the unique experiences of another person.

It connects people with one another on a meaningful and fulfilling level.

It demonstrates a person’s caring attitude toward others

It helps understand the people better.

It usually leads conversation towards emotional issues.

It lets one build a personal rapport with others

It helps reduce ones irritation with others attitude or behaviour.

It helps reduce ones prejudice or negative assumptions about others

It fosters more meaningful, more helpful, closer friendships.

5. Effectiveness: Effectiveness refers to the degree to which communicators achieve mutually shared meaning and integrative goal-related outcomes. Effective encoding and decoding processes lead to mutually shared meanings. Mutually shared meanings lead to perceived intercultural understanding. Interaction effectiveness has been achieved when multiple meanings are attended to with accuracy and when mutually desired interaction goals have been reached. Interaction ineffectiveness occurs when content or relational meanings are mismatched and intercultural noises and clashes jam the communication channels. Communication effectiveness can improve task productivity.

6. Appropriateness: A fundamental criterion for determining communication competence,

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appropriateness is the ability to uphold the expectations of a given situation. Individuals typically use their own expectations and scripts to approach an interaction scene. They also formulate their impressions of a competent communicator on the basis of their perceptions of the other’s verbal and nonverbal behaviors in the particular interaction setting. To understand whether appropriate communication has been perceived, it is vital to obtain competence evaluations from the standpoint of both communicators and interested observers. It is also critical to obtain both selfperception and other-perception data. Appropriate communication behaviors can be assessed through understanding the underlying values, norms, social roles, expectations, and scripts that govern the interaction episode.

Self-perceived communication competence Scale (Spcc)The self-perceived communication competence scale was developed to obtain information concerning how competent people feel they are in a variety of communication contexts and with a variety of types of receivers. Early self-report measures of competence were structured to represent what the creators of the measures felt were the components of communication competence. This scale is intended to let the respondent define communication competence. Since people make decisions with regard to communication (for example, whether they will even do it), it is their perception that is important, not that of an outside observer. It is important that users of this measure recognize that this is NOT a measure of actual communication competence; it is a measure of PERCEIVED competence. While these two different types of measures may be substantially correlated, they are not the same thing. This measure has generated good alpha reliability estimates (above

.85) and has strong face validity. It also has been found to have substantial predictive validity.

Directions: Below are twelve situations in which you might need to communicate. People’s abilities to communicate effectively vary a lot, and sometimes the same person is more competent to communicate in one situation than in another. Please indicate how competent you believe you are to communicate in each of the situations described below. Indicate in the space provided at the left of each item your estimate of your competence.

Presume 0 = completely incompetent and 100 = competent.

1. Present a talk to a group of strangers.

2. Talk with an acquaintance.

3. Talk in a large meeting of friends.

4. Talk in a small group of strangers.

5. Talk with a friend.

6. Talk in a large meeting of acquaintances.

7. Talk with a stranger.

8. Present a talk to a group of friends.

9. Talk in a small group of acquaintances.

10. Talk in a large meeting of strangers.

11. Talk in a small group of friends.

12. Present a talk to a group of acquaintances.

Scoring: To compute the sub-scores, add the percentages for the items indicated and divide the total by the number indicated below.




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Public 1 + 8 + 12; divide by 3.

Meeting 3 + 6 + 10; divide by 3.

Group 4 + 9 + 11; divide by 3.

Dyad 2 + 5 + 7; divide by 3.

Stranger 1 + 4 + 7 + 10; divide by 4.

Acquaintance 2 + 6 + 9 + 12; divide by 4.

Friend 3 + 5 + 8 + 11; divide by 4.

To compute the total SPCC score, add the sub-scores for Stranger, Acquaintance, and Friend. Then, divide that total by 3.

reliability mean S.d.

Public .72 68.8 17.3

Meeting .68 68.8 17.1

Group .67 76.1 14.6

Dyad .44 81.1 12.4

Stranger .87 55.5 23.6

Acquaintance .84 77.4 15.3

Friend .78 66.2 11.3

Total .92 73.7 13.8

Public > 86 High SPCC < 51 Low SPCC

Meeting > 85 High SPCC < 51 Low SPCC

Group > 90 High SPCC < 61 Low SPCC

Dyad > 93 High SPCC < 68 Low SPCC

Stranger > 79 High SPCC < 31 Low SPCC

Acquaintance > 92 High SPCC < 62 Low SPCC

Friend > 99 High SPCC < 76 Low SPCC

Total > 87 High SPCC < 59 Low SPCC

Higher SPCC scores indicate higher self-perceived communication competence with basic communication contexts (public, meeting, group, dyad) and receivers (strangers, acquaintance, friend).

Source: McCroskey, J. C., & McCroskey, L. L. (1988). Self-report as an approach to measuring communication competence.

communication SkillS Self-aSSeSSment exerciSe

In today’s team-oriented workplace, the development of good interpersonal communication skills is an important key to success.

The following self-assessment exercise is designed to help you evaluate your own interpersonal communication skills and style, and provide you with helpful tips for becoming a good communicator - and team player!

In each of the following, read items A, B, and C, then mark the one that best describes your communication style. (24 total)

1.

A. When conversing with others, I usually do most of the talking.

B. When conversing with others, I usually let the other person do most of the talking.

C. When conversing with others, I try to equalize my participation in the conversation.

Best answer: c. Conversations should be a balanced two-way flow of dialogue.




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multicultural SkillS training toolS

2.

A. When I first meet someone, I wait for the other person to make the

introduction first.

B. When I first meet someone, I introduce myself with a smile and offer a

handshake.

C. When I first meet someone, I hug the person.

Best answer: b. It’s good to initiate the introduction and introduce yourself with a handshake and smile. If shaking hands is difficult, a quick head nod is a good substitute. Initiating the introduction with a smile and handshake (or head nod) helps build rapport.

3.

A. I usually “warm-up” new conversations with small talk.

B. I usually avoid small talk and jump into more important matters.

C. I usually avoid starting conversations.

Best answer: a. It’s good to initiate conversations with small talk. Topics to warm-up the conversation might include a chat about the weather, news of interest, or impressions about the current activity (if you’re at a meeting, staff party, or other gathering, for example).

Examples of conversation starters might be:

“It’s sure warm today, isn’t it?”

“Did you hear about the big accident on the freeway? Traffic’s backed-up for miles.”

“What did you think about the Blazers game last night?”

“This is a nice party, isn’t it?”

“Could I get you something to drink?”

4.

A. I make an effort to remember and use peoples’ names.

B. I don’t pay attention to names as I tend to forget them.

C. I only learn the names of important people.

Best answer: a. It’s good to call people by name whenever possible. It makes a good, lasting impression, and it makes the other person feel important and special. To help remember names, try these techniques:

Repeat: After the person tells you his or her name, immediately use it several times in the conversation.

“It’s nice to meet you, Bob.”

“I agree with you, Bob.”

“That was a great joke, Bob!”

Associate: Associate the person’s name to something unique and special.

You might:

- Associate the person’s name with a unique feature about the person. For example:

“Gilda has beautiful green eyes.”

Think - “GG” - Green Gilda

“Jack tells funny jokes.”

Think - “JJ” - Joking Jack

- Associate the name with a visual picture. For




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ExAMplE:

“Sandy” - visualize a sandy beach.

“Glenn” - visualize John Glenn launching into space.

- Associate the name with a personal connection. For example:

“Brian” - My uncle’s name is Brian.

“Lucy” - I had a turtle named Lucy.

Jot: Jot the person’s name down with an identifying description that will help jog your memory later.

FoR ExAMplE:

“Chuck” - tall; glasses; works in Accounting; has twin sister; runs marathons; new to Portland.

5.

A. I frequently use courtesy words and phrases - “Please,” “Thank you,” “You’re welcome,” “I’m sorry.”

B. I occasionally use these courtesy words and phrases.

C. I never use these courtesy words and phrases.

Best answer: a. Regular use of these courtesy words and phrases is important to show politeness and build rapport.

6.

A. I tend to be serious and don’t smile often while conversing.

B. I smile all the time while conversing.

C. I smile at appropriate times while conversing.

Best answer: c. Smiling when greeting people and at appropriate times greatly helps build rapport.

7.

A. I make eye contact while conversing.

B. I sometimes make eye contact while conversing.

C. I never make eye contact while conversing.

Best answer: a. Making eye contact is important for building rapport. It gives the impression you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, and you have good self-confidence.

Eye contact should include frequent breaks to avoid staring (this can make the other person uncomfortable). Break eye contact frequently - glance down to the side, then quickly make eye contact again. Glancing down to the side is important. If you instead glance to the side (as if looking out the window, for example) or look up, it gives the person the impression you’re distracted and not paying attention to what’s being said. This quickly breaks down rapport.

8.

A. While conversing, I hold my head still at all times.

B. While conversing, I nod my head at appropriate times.

C. While conversing, I nod my head constantly.

Best answer: b. Occasionally nodding your head to




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indicate you agree or understand helps build rapport. Again, it shows you are interested and engaged in the conversation.

9.

A. While conversing, I stand one-foot away from the person.

B. While conversing, I stand two- to three-feet away from the person.

C. While conversing, I stand five- to six-feet away from the person.

Best answer: b. Your arm’s length is the appropriate distance (between two- to three-feet). Standing closer than arm-length makes the other person feel uncomfortable (or feel threatened). Standing a further distance away breaks down rapport.

10.

A. I often stand while talking to a person who is sitting.

B. I often sit while talking to a person who is sitting.

C. I often lean down while talking to a person who is sitting.

Best answer: b. Communicating at eye level helps build rapport. So, if the person is sitting and a chair is available, take a seat! There’s one exception - If you walk into your supervisor’s office or co-worker’s office, it’s best to ask the supervisor or co-worker if you can sit down first. Even better, wait for an invitation to sit. The person may not have time to talk at that moment.

11.

A. To end a conversation, I often just leave.

B. To end a conversation, I begin to look impatient hoping the person will get the hint.

C. To end a conversation, I wrap up with a closing statement.

Best answer: c. It’s best to bring the conversation to an end by making a polite closing comment or gesture. Good closing (wrap-up) comments might be:

“I’ve enjoyed talking with you.”

“Let me give you my business card.”

“Well, I need to go speak with....”

“Do you know a person I can contact?”

12.

A. If a co-worker has put on weight, I say nothing about it.

B. If a co-worker has put on weight, I tell the person that he or she has

changed in appearance.

C. If a co-worker has put on weight, I honestly tell the person that he or she looks fat.

Best answer: a. It’s best to say nothing. Never say anything that might hurt or offend the person. It’s called being tactful. It’s always best to give compliments only, and only say things that will make the person feel good.

“I like your dress.”

“That’s a nice shirt.”

13.

A. When I’m listening to the speaker, I often cross my arms over my chest.




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B. When I’m listening to the speaker, I often lean back and turn my body

away from the speaker.

C. When I’m listening to the speaker, I often lean slightly forward and face

my body toward the speaker.

Best answer: c. Leaning slightly forward and facing the speaker shows you’re interested, and it helps build rapport. Sitting with your arms crossed over your chest gives the message you are defensive. Leaning back with your body or turning your body away from the speaker gives the message that you are bored, disinterested, or feel in charge. Such body language breaks down rapport.

14.

A. When I cross my leg, I cross my leg facing the speaker.

B. When I cross my leg, I cross my leg away from the speaker.

C. When I cross my leg, I bob my foot.

Best answer: a. Crossing your leg toward the speaker shows you’re interested, and it builds rapport. Crossing your leg away from the speaker gives the message that you are defensive, disinterested, or feel in charge. In essence, you are putting up a subtle barrier. And if you bob or swing your foot, you’re sending the message that you’re anxious or nervous!

15.

A. While listening, I tend to be distracted by things going on around me.

B. While listening, I listen for meaning and ask questions.

C. While listening, I watch the person speak, but I don’t “hear” a word.

Best answer: b. If you’re a good listener, you keep mentally busy searching for for meaning in the message, and you ask questions. This mental “search for meaning” helps keep you focused, attentive, and engaged. If you get easily distracted, try taking notes if the setting is appropriate. Note-taking helps draw and focus your attention as you must mentally “search for meaning” and listen for information in order to take notes. This might be helpful in meetings, for example.

If you watch someone speak but you don’t “hear” a word, gauge if you are bored, tired, might have a gap between your speaking and listening rates, or are experiencing “emotional deafness.” We all experience emotional deafness on occasion, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed, upset, or nervous. You hear people ask - “I’m sorry, what did you say?” or make the comment - “I have a lot on my mind right now. Could you repeat what you said?” If it’s a frequent problem, gauge the source and seek help if needed.

16.

A. When someone talks about an unfortunate or sad experience, I don’t comment about it.

B. When someone talks about an unfortunate or sad experience, I try to change the subject.

C. When someone talks about an unfortunate or sad experience, I try to relate to the person’s feelings and show sensitivity to his or her misfortune.

Best answer: c. Showing empathy (sensitivity) to another person’s feelings helps build rapport. It’s called “reaching out to people.” Empathy can be shown by making comments, such as:

“That must have been a scary (or upsetting)




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experience for you.”

“I felt the same way when that happened to me.”

“I know (understand) how you feel.”

“I can imagine how you feel.”

“I would feel that way too in your situation.”

17.

A. When I discuss a topic, I tend to talk about and focus on positive (good) aspects.

B. When I discuss a topic, I tend to talk about and focus on the negative (bad) aspects.

C. When I discuss a topic, I tend to complain.

Best answer: a. Focusing on the positive (good) aspects draws people’s attention in a favorable way, and people enjoy the conversation more. People are generally more attracted to a person who has a “positive outlook on life.” And when it comes to work evaluations, positive-minded people generally do better. Consider the following examples:

Positive: “The plan has some good ideas.”

Negative: “The plan has some serious problems.”

Complaint: “No one ever listens to my ideas.”

Positive: “These changes might have some benefits.”

Negative: “These changes would be awful.”

Complaint: “I’m always having to relearn and re-do everything around here.”

18.

A. When I have a negative opinion or

comment, I just say it.

B. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I lead in with a positive comment first.

___ C. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I say nothing.

Best answer: b. It’s best to say something positive first, then express a negative opinion or comment in a tactful way. Consider these examples:

poSITIVE lEAD:

“I like many aspects of your idea (positive lead), but it may not work well for this department.” (tactfully stated)

Interpretation: The idea won’t work.

poSITIVE lEAD:

“You did a nice job setting the bread plates and glasses (positive lead), but the forks need to be placed to the left.” (tactfully stated)

Interpretation: The forks are in the wrong place.

poSITIVE lEAD (wITh EMpAThy):

“I know you worked a long time on this (positive lead), but it would look better retyped.” (tactfully stated)

Interpretation: It needs to be retyped.

19.

A. When I receive unfavorable feedback, I note where I need to improve.

B. When I receive unfavorable feedback, I get angry and defensive.

C. When I receive unfavorable feedback, I deny the problem, make excuses, or plead ignorance.




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Best answer: a. When you receive feedback, it’s important to know what you do well, but it’s equally important to know where improvements can be made to increase your chances for success. Few people do everything well, and you’ve undoubtedly heard the saying - “No one is perfect.” Simply make note of “weak” areas (we all have them!) and make changes needed. Receiving honest feedback is truly “a gift.” It usually means someone cares and wishes to see you succeed.

20.

A. When I give a person negative feedback, I focus on the person’s observable work or behavior and offer suggestions.

B. When I give a person negative feedback, I focus on what I don’t like about the person.

C. When I give a person negative feedback, I simply tell the person what to do right.

Best answer: a. When you give negative feedback, you should focus on and communicate your observations of the person’s work or behavior, not focus on nor judge the person. Focus on performance, not personality (or personal traits).

After sharing your observation about the person’s work or behavior, offer a suggestion in a tactful way. Consider these examples:

ExAMplE 1:

“The forms you completed were thoroughly done (positive lead), but I notice (observation) there are a few spelling errors (work feedback). Perhaps they can be corrected with correction fluid (suggestion).”

Important: Notice it says - “...there are a few spelling errors” instead of - “you made a few spelling errors.” Leave out “you” whenever possible.

ExAMplE 2:

“Your presentation covered the main points very well (positive lead), but I noticed (observation) contact information was left out (work feedback). I wonder if it might be good to include a contact name and phone number (suggestion).”

Notice it says - “...contact information was left out” instead of - “you left out contact information.” It avoids using “you.”

ExAMplE 3:

“I like your ideas (positive lead), but it appears (observation) the delivery (communication style or behavior) weakens them. Perhaps they could be written down and handed out to everyone to review (suggestion).

Notice it says - “...the delivery weakens them” instead of - “you weaken them.” It avoids using “you.”

21.

A. When I give a person negative feedback, I do it around others so everyone can hear.

B. When I give a person negative feedback, I do it in front of the supervisor.

C. When I give a person negative feedback, I talk with the person alone in a private place.

Best answer: c. It’s always best to meet the person privately and away from other people so others can’t hear.

22.

A. When I disagree with a person, I listen first, ask questions for clarification, then disagree non-judgmentally.




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B. When I disagree with a person, I quickly point out the person is wrong and why.

C. When I disagree with a person, I say little or nothing.

Best answer: a. It’s fine to disagree, but it’s important to disagree agreeably.

This means you should:

1) show respect for the other person’s ideas,

2) listen attentively until the person is done,

3) ask questions if needed,

4) disagree non-judgmentally, and, if possible,

5) offer an alternative solution.

ConSIDER ThESE ExAMplES:

“I respect your view, John, (shows respect) but I think the problem is due to a lack of time (point of disagreement). One way to solve the problem might be to computerize repair reports (offered solution).”

“I hear what you’re saying (shows respect), but it seems the staff would do better, not worse, with flextime schedules (point of disagreement). I would suggest we try it for six months (offered solution).”

23.

A. When I’m in a group, I tend to frown a lot.

B. When I’m in a group, I tend to smile and use humor at appropriate times.

C. When I’m in a group I tend to be serious.

Best answer: b. At appropriate times, it’s always good to smile. And when used at appropriate times and

in appropriate ways, humor is beneficial for group dynamics. Humor helps “break the ice” when people first meet. Humor helps relieve stress and tension. A humorous observation and comment helps lower the heat when a heated discussion gets too “hot.” And most importantly, humor helps build team cohesiveness.

If you observe people at a gathering, you’ll notice people naturally gravitate toward people considered “approachable.” Approachable people are the ones who smile; they are the ones who add humor and lightness to conversations; and they are the ones who make fun of themselves in a selfdeprecating and humorous way. In any group setting, smiles attract, and humor bonds people together. Do you know a good joke?

Idea: If you’re like many people who have difficulty remembering humorous lines, puns, anecdotal stories, or jokes, consider creating a humor file. Clip and save humorous jokes, stories, and puns from the newspaper. Write down and save jokes and funny stories you hear. Your file will be a good resource to draw from for upcoming social events and gatherings.




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communicationS planningGettinG the riGht messaGes across in the riGht way

Whether you need to communicate general day-to-day information or “big news” about major changes in your organization, the best communications start with some good planning.

The first step is to put yourself in the shoes of your audience. What do they need to know, and want to hear? What’s their preferred way of receiving information? What will stop them listening to what you have to say? And how will you know that they have got the message?

So there’s quite a bit more to good communications than preparing a good memo or presentation! This tool will help you through the preparation steps and so help you create an audience-focused communication plan that’s sure to get your message heard.

how to Use the Tool

Use the following steps to create a good communication plan for your company or project.

UnDERSTAnD yoUR objECTIVES

Step 1. Be clear about your overall communication objectives. What do you want to achieve, when and why? Record your overall objectives in your plan.

Figure 1: Communications Planning Template

Communications Plan For ...................................................................................................................

Overall Communication Objective:

AudienceCommunication

ObjectivesMessage Channel Timing

UnDERSTAnD yoUR AUDIEnCES

Step 2. Now identify and list your different audiences. Try to identify who to communicate with and why.

Step 3. Now drill down into your communication objectives and clarify specific objectives for each audience. A good way to do this is to think about the audience’s needs – what do they need and want to know from you? List all the objectives (there may be several) for each audience in your plan.

plAn CoMMUnICATIonS MESSAgES AnD ChAnnElS

Once you have clarified your objectives and got a full understanding of the different audiences you need to communicate with, it’s time to plan the communications – that means working out the messages needed to meet your objectives and when and how these will be delivered.

Step 4. Before starting on the detail of your plan, first jot down all the possible communications channels you could use. Think broadly and creatively! You probably already use lots of great ways to communicate in your company, and some new ones may help get your message across. Here is a list to get you started:

Email

Newsletter

Teleconference

Notice boards

CEO briefing

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Posters

Lunchtime meeting

Intranet article

Launch event

Team meeting

Podcast on intranet

Tip: Remember to Use Existing Channels

Big corporate news often gets announced at big corporate events. But don’t forget to use existing channels too, such as staff newsletters, the intranet and team meetings. Using existing channels with the right message at the right time is an effective and familiar way to reach your audience.

Step 5. To plan out the message for each audience, start by thinking about the broadest audience groups first. In our example, the broadest audience might be “All people working in New Jersey Office” and “All people working in Sydney Office”.

As you consider each audience in turn, ask the following questions:

What does the audience need and want to know?

When do we need to communicate?

What is the regular or preferred channel for reaching this audience?

For this specific audience and message, what is the most effective way to get your message across?

Several messages over time may be required to meet the objectives of each audience. Make sure the messages you plan “add up” to meet the audience’s objectives.

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Tip:

One saying in marketing is that “prospects need to see your message seven times before they buy.” While this may be over-precise, you may need to give your message many times over before it sinks in.

On the other hand, as you plan for each audience, remember also that members of one audience may also be part of another audience, and so may receive several messages. Try to plan your communications so that individuals receive the right information and are not inundated, or worse, confused by the different messages they receive.

MonIToR EFFECTIVEnESS

Step 6. It’s good to get feedback on the communications you have planned and implemented. Ask people from different audiences how you are doing. Check they understand the messages you need them to hear. By getting timely feedback, you can tune any future communications that you have planned to better meet people’s needs or fill any gaps so far.




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the communication cycle

six steps to Better communication

Do you ever get lost while organizing your message, or struggle to identify what your audience truly needs to know? There are so many factors to consider during preparation and presentation that it’s easy to forget an important point.

The Communication Cycle is a six-step process that helps you develop and refine your message. It helps you ensure that you don’t forget anything essential the first time you present it, and it helps you maximize its impact in the times that follow. By putting the process into the form of a cycle, this approach encourages you to use the feedback you receive to improve your communications in the future.

UnDERSTAnDIng ThE CoMMUnICATIon CyClE

The Communication Cycle (shown below in Figure 1) provides a checklist that helps you communicate effectively with your audience.

Figure 1

noTE 1:

You can apply the Communication Cycle to any situation where communication is involved, but you’ll likely find it most useful for preparing and delivering important or complex communications, such as team or organizational emails, marketing materials, and presentations.

noTE 2:

The Communication Cycle doesn’t include a “test” step. However, you can still apply steps 3, 4, 5 and 6 to testing your communication. (For example, by asking colleagues to proofread and comment on text, or by practicing a presentation in front of a small group.) You then use any feedback to change and improve your message when you restart the cycle.

how To USE ThE CoMMUnICATIon CyClE

Follow these steps to use the cycle:

Step 1: Clarify your Aim

Organize your thoughts about the message that you want to communicate by answering these

questions:

• To whom am I communicating?

• What message am I trying to send, and what am I trying to achieve with it?

• Why do I want to send this message? Do I need to send it at all?

• What do I want my audience to feel?

• What does my audience need or desire from this message?

• What do I want my audience to do with this information?

Step 2: Compose/Encode

Communication Skills Training Tools

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The Communication CycleSix Steps to Better Communication

Do you ever get lost while organizing your message, or struggle to identify what your audience truly needs to know? There are so many factors to consider during preparation and presentation that it's easy to forget an important point.

The Communication Cycle is a six-step process that helps you develop and refine your message. It helps you ensure that you don't forget anything essential the first time you present it, and it helps you maximize its impact in the times that follow. By putting the process into the form of a cycle, this approach encourages you to use the feedback you receive to improve your communications in the future.

Understanding the Communication Cycle

The Communication Cycle (shown below in Figure 1) provides a checklist that helps you communicate effectively with your audience.

Figure 1

2, Compose / Encode

1. Aim

6. Change / Improve

5. Analyze / Decode /

Learn 4. Received feedback

3. Transmit / Deliver




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Now that you’ve organized your thoughts with the questions in Step 1, start crafting your message. Think about:

What is the best way to communicate this message?

What level/type of language should I use?

Does the audience have any background information on my topic?

Will my audience need any additional resources to understand my message?

Am I expressing emotions in my message? If so, which emotions?

Will the audience assume anything about me or my motives that will hurt communication?

Step 3: Transmit/Deliver

The way that you communicate your message is vital to ensuring that your audience receives it effectively. Ask yourself:

Is this the right time to send this message?

What is my audience’s state of mind likely to be, and what workload will they be experiencing when they receive this message? How should I present my message to take account of this?

Will there be any distractions that may hurt communication? (This is especially important to consider when giving a speech or presentation.)

Should I include anyone else in the audience?

Step 4: Receive Feedback

This is a key step in the Communication Cycle. Without feedback from your audience, you’ll never know how you can improve the way that you communicate your message.

Make sure that you include some type of feedback process as part of your communication.

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Do you know how to read body language, and use it to steer your presentation?

If you’re giving a speech or presentation, will you allow time for a question-and-answer session?

Will you have a process for getting feedback from your audience?

When you receive feedback, is it generally what you want and expect?

Remember to use indirect feedback here too. Did you get the response that you wanted from your communication? Is there anything more that you can interpret from the response that you received?

Step 5: Analyze/Decode/learn

Use the feedback you received in Step 4 to learn and grow. Depending on your situation, you might need to rewrite your message and try again. (One of the benefits of testing your message on a small scale is that you can do this before the big day.)

Why did you receive this feedback? What does this tell you about your message?

What could you have done differently to get the response you wanted?

Did the audience feel the way you expected them to feel? If not, why not?

How should you act or behave differently to move forward?

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Step 6: Change/Improve

This step completes the cycle. All of the feedback in the world won’t help you unless you commit to learning and changing.

Honor and respect the feedback you’ve received. If you believe it’s valid, change your message or behavior.

Identify resources to help you improve (asking colleagues; doing more testing; or using surveys, classes, books, seminars, and so on).

A CoMMUnICATIon CyClE ExAMplE

Using the Communication Cycle is fairly straightforward. Think of it as a checklist for creating your messages, big or small.

Here’s an example. You’re responsible for IT in your organization, and you need to create a presentation for your CEO and executive board. The content should explain exactly what the IT department does, and how much work you’re all responsible for. The presentation’s goal is to show how vital IT is to the organization so that you can hire additional staff to manage the workload, instead of facing budget cuts next quarter.

Here’s how you could use the Communication Cycle to organize your presentation effectively.

Step 1: Aim

To whom am I communicating?

o The CEO and executive board.

What message am I trying to send?

o I must show that IT is an essential part of the organization, and that we deserve additional funding to hire more staff.

Why do I want to send this message?

o Without the board’s understanding, they might cut our budget next year.

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What do I want my audience to feel?

o I want them to feel excited about the valuable service that IT performs, and concerned about the threats the company might face if our staff is cut.

What does my audience need or desire in order to receive this message?

o My audience needs to understand thoroughly what IT does and, specifically, that we protect the organization from daily threats. The board will need strong data about the money we’ve saved the company over the past two years.

What do I want my audience to do with this information?

o They must understand that giving IT additional funding is in their best interest.

Step 2: Compose/Encode

What is the best way to communicate this message?

o Group presentation.

What level/type of language should I use?

o I should avoid using IT jargon and terms. My language should be professional, but easy to understand.

Does the audience have any background information on this message?

o Some members of the executive board have only a vague understanding of what IT does. Others have a much sharper idea.

o The executive board has figures to show that the IT budget is higher than that of other departments.

Will my audience need any additional resources to understand my message?

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o Graphs and statistics, on paper or in a PowerPoint presentation, will be helpful visuals.

Am I expressing emotions in my message? If so, which emotions?

o I must express how excited I am by my job and my department, as well as the urgency we all feel when faced with additional budget cuts, especially when we provide such an important service to the organization.

Will the audience assume anything about me that will hurt communication?

o They might assume that, since I’m in IT, I’ll naturally be a poor communicator. I must prove right away that this isn’t true.

Step 3: Transmit/Deliver

Is this the right time to send this message?

o Yes, because the board will soon approve the budget for the next year.

What is my audience’s frame of reference? What is likely to be their state of mind and workload when they receive this message?

o They’re likely to be overloaded with information already. I must be concise, yet convincing.

Will there be any distractions that may hurt communication?

o The presentation will likely be in Conference Room A. There’s a noisy air vent in that room, so I’ll have to speak loudly.

o The presentation is near the end of a long day for the executive team, so they might be tired or lose interest easily.

Should I include anyone else from the audience?

o No.

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Step 4: Receive Feedback

I’ll allow 10 minutes at the end of the presentation for a question-and-answer session with the board.

I’ll meet with the CEO immediately after the presentation to get his input.

I’m going to do some research on body language, which will help me see cues from board members on how I’m doing throughout the presentation.

Steps 5 and 6: Analyze, and Improve

A few days after the presentation, your boss tells you that the board liked your message and approved additional funding, thanks to your convincing statistics and message. However, they thought that the presentation was a little too long.

With this knowledge, you commit to shortening your speeches and presentations in the future, and you’ll do a better job cutting unnecessary information while you’re creating your message.

KEy poInTS

The Communication Cycle is a six-step process for organizing and presenting a message effectively. You can apply it in all situations that involve communication, and it’s most useful for important or complex communications.

Because effective communication is so vital, the advantage of this process is in its cyclical nature. You organize, present, receive feedback, and improve your communication, so that next time you’re able to communicate even more effectively.

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the 7 cS of communicationa checklist for clear communicationThis is why the 7 Cs of Communication are helpful. The 7 Cs provide a checklist for making sure that your meetings, emails, conference calls, reports, and presentations are well constructed and clear – so your audience gets your message.

According to the 7Cs, communication needs to be:

Clear.Concise.Concrete.Correct.Coherent.Complete.Courteous.

1. Clear

When writing or speaking to someone, be clear about your goal or message. What is your purpose in communicating with this person? If you’re not sure, then your audience won’t be sure either.

To be clear, try to minimize the number of ideas in each sentence. Make sure that it’s easy for your reader to understand your meaning. People shouldn’t have to “read between the lines” and make assumptions on their own to understand what you’re trying to say.

bAD ExAMplE

Hi John,I wanted to write you a quick note about Daniel, who’s working in your department. He’s a great asset, and I’d like to talk to you more about him when you have time.

Best,Skip

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What is this email about? Well, we’re not sure. First, if there are multiple Daniels in John’s department, John won’t know who Skip is talking about.

Next, what is Daniel doing, specifically, that’s so great? We don’t know that either. It’s so vague that John will definitely have to write back for more information.

Last, what is the purpose of this email? Does Skip simply want to have an idle chat about Daniel, or is there some more specific goal here? There’s no sense of purpose to this message, so it’s a bit confusing.

gooD ExAMplE

Let’s see how we could change this email to make it clear.

Hi John,I wanted to write you a quick note about Daniel Kedar, who’s working in your department. In recent weeks, he’s helped the IT department through several pressing deadlines on his own time.

We’ve got a tough upgrade project due to run over the next three months, and his knowledge and skills would prove invaluable. Could we please have his help with this work?

I’d appreciate speaking with you about this. When is it best to call you to discuss this further?

Best wishes, Skip

This second message is much clearer, because the reader has the information he needs to take action.

2. Concise

When you’re concise in your communication, you stick to the point and keep it brief. Your audience doesn’t want to read six sentences when you could communicate your message in three.




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Are there any adjectives or “filler words” that you can delete? You can often eliminate words like “for instance,” “you see,” “definitely,” “kind of,” “literally,” “basically,” or “I mean.”

Are there any unnecessary sentences?

Have you repeated the point several times, in different ways?

bAD ExAMplE

Hi Matt,

I wanted to touch base with you about the email marketing campaign we kind of sketched out last Thursday. I really think that our target market is definitely going to want to see the company’s philanthropic efforts. I think that could make a big impact, and it would stay in their minds longer than a sales pitch.

For instance, if we talk about the company’s efforts to become sustainable, as well as the charity work we’re doing in local schools, then the people that we want to attract are going to remember our message longer. The impact will just be greater.

What do you think?Jessica

This email is too long! There’s repetition, and there’s plenty of “filler” taking up space.

gooD ExAMplE

Watch what happens when we’re concise and take out the filler words:

Hi Matt,

I wanted to quickly discuss the email marketing campaign that we analyzed last Thursday. Our target market will want to know about the company’s philanthropic efforts, especially our goals to become sustainable and help local schools.

This would make a far greater impact, and it would

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stay in their minds longer than a traditional sales pitch.

What do you think?Jessica

3. Concrete

When your message is concrete, then your audience has a clear picture of what you’re telling them. There are details (but not too many!) and vivid facts, and there’s laserlike focus. Your message is solid.

bAD ExAMplE

Consider this advertising copy:

The Lunchbox Wizard will save you time every day.

A statement like this probably won’t sell many of these products. There’s no passion, no vivid detail, nothing that creates emotion, and nothing that tells people in the audience why they should care. This message isn’t concrete enough to make a difference.

gooD ExAMplE

How much time do you spend every day packing your kids’ lunches? No more! Just take a complete Lunchbox Wizard from your refrigerator each day to give your kids a healthy lunch AND have more time to play or read with them!

This copy is better because there are vivid images. The audience can picture spending quality time with their kids – and what parent could argue with that? And mentioning that the product is stored in the refrigerator explains how the idea is practical. The message has come alive through these details.

4. Correct

When your communication is correct, it fits your audience. And correct communication is also error-free communication.




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Do the technical terms you use fit your audience’s level of education or knowledge?

Have you checked your writing for grammatical errors? Remember, spell checkers won’t catch everything.

Are all names and titles spelled correctly?

bAD ExAMplE

Hi Daniel,

Thanks so much for meeting me at lunch today! I enjoyed our conservation, and I’m looking forward to moving ahead on our project. I’m sure that the two-weak deadline won’t be an issue.

Thanks again, and I’ll speak to you soon!

Best,Jack Miller

If you read that example fast, then you might not have caught any errors. But on closer inspection, you’ll find two. Can you see them?

The first error is that the writer accidentally typed conservation instead of conversation. This common error can happen when you’re typing too fast. The other error is using weak instead of week.

Again, spell checkers won’t catch word errors like this, which is why it’s so important to proofread everything!

5. Coherent

When your communication is coherent, it’s logical. All points are connected and relevant to the main topic, and the tone and flow of the text is consistent.

bAD ExAMplE

Traci,

I wanted to write you a quick note about the report

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you finished last week. I gave it to Michelle to proof, and she wanted to make sure you knew about the department meeting we’re having this Friday. We’ll be creating an outline for the new employee handbook.

Thanks,Michelle

As you can see, this email doesn’t communicate its point very well. Where is Michelle’s feedback on Traci’s report? She started to mention it, but then she changed the topic to Friday’s meeting.

gooD ExAMplE

Hi Traci,

I wanted to write you a quick note about the report you finished last week. I gave it to Michelle to proof, and she let me know that there are a few changes that you’ll need to make. She’ll email you her detailed comments later this afternoon.

Thanks, Michelle

Notice that in the good example, Michelle does not mention Friday’s meeting. This is because the meeting reminder should be an entirely separate email. This way, Traci can delete the report feedback email after she makes her changes, but save the email about the meeting as her reminder to attend. Each email has only one main topic.

6. Complete

In a complete message, the audience has everything they need to be informed and, if applicable, take action.

Does your message include a “call to action”, so that your audience clearly knows what you want them to do?

Have you included all relevant information – contact names, dates, times, locations, and so on?

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bAD ExAMplE

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to send you all a reminder about the meeting we’re having tomorrow!

See you then,Chris

This message is not complete, for obvious reasons. What meeting? When is it? Where? Chris has left his team without the necessary information.

gooD ExAMplE

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to remind you about tomorrow’s meeting on the new telecommuting policies. The meeting will be at 10:00 a.m. in the second-level conference room. Please let me know if you can’t attend.

See you then,

Chris

7. Courteous

Courteous communication is friendly, open, and honest. There are no hidden insults or passive-aggressive tones. You keep your reader’s viewpoint in mind, and you’re empathetic to their needs.

bAD ExAMplE

Jeff,

I wanted to let you know that I don’t appreciate how your team always monopolizes the discussion at our weekly meetings. I have a lot of projects, and I really need time to get my team’s progress discussed as well. So far, thanks to your department, I haven’t been able to do that. Can you make sure they make time for me and my team next week?

Thanks,

Phil

Well, that’s hardly courteous! Messages like this can potentially start officewide fights. And this email does nothing but create bad feelings, and lower productivity and morale. A little bit of courtesy, even in difficult situations, can go a long way.

gooD ExAMplE

Hi Jeff,

I wanted to write you a quick note to ask a favor. During our weekly meetings, your team does an excellent job of highlighting their progress. But this uses some of the time available for my team to highlight theirs. I’d really appreciate it if you could give my team a little extra time each week to fully cover their progress reports.

Thanks so much, and please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you!

Best,

Phil

What a difference! This email is courteous and friendly, and it has little chance of spreading bad feelings around the office.

VARIATIonS

There are a few variations of the 7 Cs of Communication:

Credible – Does your message improve or highlight your credibility? This is especially important when communicating with an audience that doesn’t know much about you.

Creative – Does your message communicate creatively? Creative communication helps keep your audience engaged.

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making a great firSt impreSSion!It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed.

With every new encounter, you are evaluated and yet another person’s impression of you is formed. These first impression can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, making those first encounters extremely important, for they set the tone for all the relationships that follows.

So, whether they are in your career or social life, it’s important to know how to create a good first impression. This article provides some useful tips to help you do this.

bE on TIME

Someone you are meeting for the first time is not interested in your “good excuse” for running late. Plan to arrive a few minutes early. And allow flexibility for possible delays in traffic or taking a wrong turn. Arriving early is much better that arriving late, hands down, and is the first step in creating a great first impression.

bE yoURSElF, bE AT EASE

If you are feeling uncomfortable and on edge, this can make the other person ill at ease and that’s a sure way to create the wrong impression. If you are calm and confident, so the other person will feel more at ease, and so have a solid foundation for making that first impression a good one.

Present Yourself Appropriately

Of course physical appearance matters. The person you are meeting for the first time does not know

you and your appearance is usually the first clue he or she has to go on.

But it certainly does not mean you need to look like a model to create a strong and positive first impression. (Unless you are interviewing with your local model agency, of course!)

No. The key to a good impression is to present yourself appropriately.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and so the “picture” you first present says much about you to the person you are meeting. Is your appearance saying the right things to help create the right first impression?

Start with the way you dress. What is the appropriate dress for the meeting or occasion? In a business setting, what is the appropriate business attire? Suit, blazer, casual? And ask yourself what the person you’ll be meeting is likely to wear – if your contact is in advertising or the music industry, a pinstripe business suit may not strike the right note!

For business and social meetings, appropriate dress also varies between countries and cultures, so it’s something that you should pay particular attention to when in an unfamiliar setting or country. Make sure you know the traditions and norms.




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And what about your grooming? Clean and tidy appearance is appropriate for most business and social occasions. A good haircut or shave. Clean and tidy clothes. Neat and tidy make up. Make sure your grooming is appropriate and helps make you feel “the part”.

Appropriate dressing and grooming help make a good first impression and also help you feel “the part”, and so feel more calm and confident. Add all of this up and you are well on your way to creating a good first impression.

A woRD AboUT InDIVIDUAlITy

The good news is you can usually create a good impression without total conformity or losing your individuality. Yes, to make a good first impression you do need to “fit in” to some degree. But it all goes back to being appropriate for the situation. If in a business setting, wear appropriate business attire. If at a formal evening social event, wear appropriate evening attire. And express your individuality appropriately within that context.

A Winning Smile!

“Smile and the world smiles too.”* So there’s nothing like a smile to create a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. So smiling is a winner when it comes to great first impressions. But don’t go overboard with this – people who take this too far can seem insincere and smarmy, or can be seen to be “lightweights”.(*Author Unknown)

bE opEn AnD ConFIDEnT

When it comes to making the first impression, body language as well as appearance speaks much louder than words.

Use your body language to project appropriate confidence and self-assurance. Stand tall, smile (of course), make eye contact, greet with a firm

handshake. All of this will help you project confidence and encourage both you and the other person to feel better at ease.

Almost everyone gets a little nervous when meeting someone for the first time, which can lead to nervous habits or sweaty palms. By being aware of your nervous habits, you can try to keep them in check. And controlling a nervous jitter or a nervous laugh will give you confidence and help the other person feel at ease.

SMAll TAlK goES A long wAy…

Conversations are based on verbal give and take. It may help you to prepare questions you have for the person you are meeting for the first time beforehand. Or, take a few minutes to learn something about the person you meet for the first time before you get together. For instance, does he play golf? Does she work with a local charitable foundation?

Is there anything that you know of that you have in common with the person you are meeting? If so, this can be a great way to open the conversation and to keep it flowing.

bE poSITIVE

Your attitude shows through in everything you do. Project a positive attitude, even in the face of criticism or in the case of nervousness. Strive to learn from your meeting and to contribute appropriately, maintaining an upbeat manner and a smile.

bE CoURTEoUS AnD ATTEnTIVE

It goes without saying that good manners and polite, attentive and courteous behavior help make a good first impression. In fact, anything less can ruin the one chance you have at making that first impression. So be on your best behavior!

One modern manner worth mentioning is “turn off your mobile phone”. What first impression will you create if you are already speaking to someone




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other than the person you are meeting for the first time? Your new acquaintance deserves 100% of your attention. Anything less and you’ll create a less than good first impression.

KEy poInTS

You have just a few seconds to make a good first impression and it’s almost impossible ever to change it. So it’s worth giving each new encounter your best shot. Much of what you need to do to make a good impression is common sense. But with a little extra thought and preparation, you can hone your intuitive style and make every first impression not just good but great.

Another way of thinking about finding the ‘right’ level of detail is to borrow some terminology commonly used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): here the terms ‘chunking up’ and ‘chunking down’ are used to describe the process of moving between levels of detail:

Chunking Up - moving from something specific and becoming more general

Chunking Down - moving from something general and becoming more specific

The idea is that any issue can be seen in larger or smaller chunks. When you move from a narrow perspective through to a broader one, and then back down again, different opportunities present themselves. Chunking, in this context, enables you to work through a discussion of issues and problems by reorganizing (rechunking) the information.

Finding the right level of detail means moving between the levels in a structured and logical way. In a conversation, you can do this in direct response the other person’s need, depending on what they say or ask during the conversation.

Applications of chunking to find the right level of detail include:

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negotiation and problem Solving: chunking up to a general level to find common ground with the other person, and then chunking back down to find a solution.

Creative Thinking: chunking up helps you break out of routine thinking to identify alternatives, then you can chunk back down to find specific solutions you may not have thought about before.

Improving Motivation: if the other person seems bored or uninspired you can chunk up to find an area of common interest or a common goal. Once you identify the big picture, it is often easier for people to see how their efforts can influence events, and how they can contribute even more.

overcoming stress: When someone is overwhelmed, it is often because the task at hand seems too large. By chunking down, you break the job into manageable bites. If people are overwhelmed by details, do the opposite and chunk up in order to help them see what they are trying to accomplish.




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body language understandinG non-verBal communication

Have you ever been in the situation when you really didn’t believe what someone was saying? Did you have a sense that something didn’t ring true or a gut feeling that all was not right? Perhaps they were saying ‘Yes’ yet their heads were shaking ‘No’?

The difference between the words people speak and our understanding of what they are saying comes from non-verbal communication, otherwise known as “body language”. By developing your awareness of the signs and signals of body language, you can more easily understand other people, and more effectively communicate with them.

There are sometimes subtle – and sometimes not so subtle – movements, gestures, facial expressions and even shifts in our whole bodies that indicate something is going on. The way we talk, walk, sit and stand all say something about us, and whatever is happening on the inside can be reflected on the outside.

By becoming more aware of this body language and understanding what it might mean, you can learn to read people more easily. This puts you in a better position to communicate effectively with them. What’s more, by increasing your understanding of others, you can also become more aware of the messages that you convey to them.

There are times when we send mixed messages – we say one thing yet our body language reveals something different. This non-verbal language will affect how we act and react to others, and how they react to us.

This tool will explain many of the ways in which we communicate non-verbally, so that you can use these signs and signals to communicate more effectively.

First Impressions and Confidence

Recall a time when you met someone new at work. As they walked through the door, what were your first impressions? Or think about the last time you watched a speaker deliver a presentation.

What were your impressions? Did you sense confidence or a lack of confidence in them? Did you want to associate with them or not? Were you convinced by them?

Did they stride into the room, engage you and maintain eye contact or were they tentative, shuffling towards you with eyes averted before sliding into a chair? What about their handshake – firm and strong or weak and limp?

Moving along in the conversation, did they maintain solid eye contact or were they frequently looking away? Did their face appear relaxed or was it tight and tense? What about their hand and arm movements? Were their gestures wide, flowing and open or were they tight, jerky and closed?

As you observe others, you can identify some common signs and signals that give away whether they are feeling confident or not. Typical things to look for in confident people include:

Posture – standing tall with shoulders back.

Eye contact – solid with a ‘smiling’ face.

Gestures with hands and arms – purposeful and deliberate.

Speech – slow and clear.

Tone of voice – moderate to low.

As well as deciphering other people’s the body language, you can use this knowledge to convey feelings that you’re not actually experiencing.

For example, if you are about to enter into a situation where you are not as confident as you’d like to be,

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such as giving a big presentation or attending an important meeting, you can adopt these ‘confidence’ signs and signals to project confidence.

Let’s now look at another scenario.

Difficult Meetings and Defensiveness

Think of a time when you were in a difficult meeting – perhaps a performance appraisal or one where you are negotiating deadlines, responsibilities or a contract. In an ideal world, both you and the other person would be open and receptive to hearing what each other has to say in order to conclude the meeting successfully.

However, often, the other person is defensive and doesn’t really listen. If this happens during an appraisal meeting, and it’s important for you to convey to your colleague that they need to change certain behaviors, you really want them open and receptive to you so they take on board what you are saying.

So how can you tell whether your message is falling on “deaf ears”?

Some of the common signs that the person you are speaking with may be feeling defensive include:

Hand/arm gestures are small and close to his or her body.

Facial expressions are minimal.

Body is physically turned away from you.

Arms are crossed in front of body.

Eyes maintain little contact, or are downcast.

By picking up these signs, you can change what you say or how you say it to help the other person become more at ease, and more receptive to what you are saying.

Equally, if you are feeling somewhat defensive going

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into a negotiating situation, you can monitor your own body language to ensure that the messages you are conveying are ones that say that you are open and receptive to what is being discussed.

working with groups and Disengagement

Have you ever delivered a presentation and had a sense that people weren’t really buying into what you had to say? What about working with a group to facilitate a consensus on responsibilities and deadlines? Was everyone on board with the ideas, or did some appear disengaged?

Ideally, when you stand up to deliver a presentation or work with group, you want 100% engagement with all concerned. This often doesn’t happen on its own, though. But you can actively engage the audience when you need to if you’re alert to some of the typical signs and signals of people not being engaged. Some of these signs and signals include:

Heads are down.

Eyes are glazed, or gazing at something else.

Hands may be picking at cloths, or fiddling with pens.

People may be writing or doodling.

They may be sitting slumped in their chairs.

When you pick up that someone appears not to be engaged in what is going on, you can do something to re-engage him or her and bring their focus back to what you are saying, such as asking them a direct question.

And while this is going on, make sure that your own body language is saying what you want it to.

lying

Of all the non-verbal body language that we may observe, being able to tell whether a person is lying or not will stand you in good stead.

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Some of the typical signs and signals that a person is lying include:

Eyes maintain little or no eye contact, or there may be rapid eye movements, with pupils constricted.

Hand or fingers are in front of his or her mouth when speaking.

His or her body is physically turned away from you, or there are unusual/un-natural body gestures.

His or her breathing rate increases.

Complexion changes such as in color; red in face or neck area.

Perspiration increases.

Voice changes such as change in pitch, stammering, throat clearing.

As with all non-verbal language, it’s important to remember here that everyone’s personal body language is slightly different. If you notice some of the typical non-verbal signs of lying, you shouldn’t necessarily jump to conclusions, as many of these signals can be confused with the appearance of nervousness. What you should do, however, is use these signals as a prompt to probe further, ask more questions and explore the area in more detail to determine whether they are being truthful or not.

Further clarification is always worthwhile when checking out your understanding of someone’s body language, and this is particularly true during job interviews and in negotiating situations.

Interviews/negotiation, and Reflection

What do you do when you are asked a really good question and you ponder for a few moments before answering?

You might simply blurt something out without

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taking time to think about the answer, or you could take a moment to reflect before answering. By taking some time to reflect on your response, you are indicating to the questioner that they’ve asked you a good question and it is important enough for you to take some time to consider your answer.

Be that in an interview situation or negotiating something with someone, showing that you are indeed thinking over your answer is a positive thing. Some typical signs and signals that a person is reflecting on their answer include:

Eyes look away and return to engage contact only when answering.

Finger stroking on chin.

Hand to cheek.

Head tilted with eyes looking up.

So, whether you are on the receiving end of someone pondering, or you are doing the pondering, there are certain gestures that give it away.

one Size Does noT Fit All

We mentioned earlier that each person is unique, and that their signs and signals might have a different underlying cause from the ones you suspect. This is often the case when people have different past experiences, and particularly where cultural differences are large. This is why it’s important to check that your interpretation of someone else’s body language is correct. You might do this through the use of further questions, or simply by getting to know the person better.

To help practice and further develop your skill in picking up body language, engage in people-watching. By observing people – be that on a bus/train or on television without the sound, just notice how people act and react to each other. When you observe others, try to guess what they are saying or get a sense of what is going on between them.

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Even if you do not get the chance to check whether you are correct in your assessment, you will be developing your observational skills. This in turn can help you to pick up signals when you are interacting with others.

TIp:

As well as learning to read body language, people often consciously use it to project messages and reinforce what they’re saying – we can all call to mind the body language used by a “slippery” used-car salesman.

Whether or not this is acceptable depends on the situation. It’s fine to put on a “brave face” when you’re about to meet someone or do a presentation. However, it’s not acceptable if you’re trying to persuade someone to do something that’s against their interests – what’s more, the gestures you can’t control may give you away, leading to a serious loss of trust and credibility.

Key points:

Body language impacts a great deal of how we communicate, and can reflect quite accurately what’s going on inside us.

Body language includes body movements and gestures (legs, arms, hands, head and torso), posture, muscle tension, eye contact, skin coloring (flushed red), even people’s breathing rate and perspiration. Additionally, the tone of voice, the rate of speech and the pitch of the voice all add to the words that are being said.

It is important to recognize that body language may vary between individuals, and between different cultures and nationalities. It is therefore essential to verify and confirm the signals that you are reading, by questioning the individual and getting to know the person.




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mehrabian’S communication model learninG to communicate clearly

Have you ever opened an email from a colleague and misinterpreted the words on the screen? Perhaps you felt the message was critical of you or your work, when in fact that wasn’t what the writer intended at all. Or, maybe you’ve had the experience of speaking with a client over the phone and knowing, just from their tone of voice, that you’re not going to get the sale this time.

Communication is made up of more than just the words we use. Our tone of voice, facial expression and body language all play a major role in how we’re understood. And if we’re communicating in a situation where we can’t use all of these elements to enhance our messages, we need to be very careful.

You might well have heard the popular statistic that only 7% of any message is conveyed through the words you choose. The other 93% is allegedly found in subtle clues like your tone of voice and body language. This claim stems from a study done by psychologist Albert Mehrabian in the late Sixties. But beware, it’s all too often misquoted!

In this article we’ll explain what Mehrabian’s Communication Model really says, and look at how you can use its findings in your everyday life.

Mehrabian’s Communication Model

In 1967, in a study titled Inference of Attitudes from Nonverbal Communication in Two Channels, psychologist Albert Mehrabian revealed groundbreaking new data, relating to the relative importance of verbal and non-verbal messages.

In his original study, Mehrabian considered different combinations of “positive”, “neutral” and “negative” attitude, as expressed through both facial expression and tone of voice.

For example, he used the word “maybe” to test how well people could judge the feelings of others. As a word, “maybe” was considered to be neutral in meaning. It was then read to participants using a positive, neutral, and negative tone of voice, and listeners had to judge the attitude of the speaker, based primarily on their tone of voice.

The study allowed Mehrabian to consider the relative importance of three elements in our communication: words, tone of voice, and facial expression. He wanted to discover which carried the most weight in order to know whether we listen more to what people say, or to how they’re saying it.

When his research was complete, Mehrabian concluded that, in situations dealing with feelings and attitudes, facial expression was the most significant element, followed by tone of voice. The actual words spoken were least important for communication.

As part of his work, Mehrabian, also studied the effects of “inconsistent communication”, where a particular facial expression or tone of voice was clearly at odds with the words being used. So, when there is incongruence in this way, what will people actually pay most attention to? Do they respond to words, tone of voice, or body language? Mehrabian once again deduced that people will respond to body language and voice tone over verbal, or word, choice. For instance, if the words “Go away!” are said with a positive vocal tone (even though the meaning itself is negative), the listener will likely interpret the experience as a whole as positive.

Using his overall findings, Mehrabian created this formula for the relative importance of the different components of communication about emotions or attitudes:

Total Emotion/Attitude Communicated = 7% Verbal + 38% Vocal + 55% Facial




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often Misquoted

Since its publication, Mehrabian’s study has become very well known, both in communication literature and the popular media. But it’s all too often misquoted and misinterpreted.

The misinterpretation occurs when people assume that his formula applies to all communication situations. But Mehrabian clarifies on his website that his study dealt only with with communications involving feelings and attitudes. He states that “Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.”

how to Use the Model:

So, how can you correctly apply Mehrabian’s Communication Model to your life?

Knowing about the model can be useful in email communications when you’re relaying sensitive or emotional information. In these situations, without input from facial expression or tone of voice, you’ll need to take extra care choosing the words in your message. Without the non-verbal clues, words and meaning can easily be misinterpreted. (This is why emoticons are so useful when you’re writing an in informal email!)

It’s also useful for telephone conversations. Remember that without facial cues, your tone of voice and word choice will have more impact. Be aware of your tone when you’re speaking, and be sensitive about the words you’re using. in particular, make sure they’re matching your actual intention and message. This is, of course, particularly important when you’re speaking about emotional issues!

You can use the model to guide your actions. For instance, imagine that you need to give some not-so-pleasant feedback to a colleague. Because body

language and facial expression is so important when expressing your feelings about their performance, you know that relaying this feedback in person (versus email or over the phone) will increase the odds that no undue offense is taken. You’ll be able to get across your true intentions and message more clearly if you can use both facial expression and vocal tone. (You’ll also be able to see your colleague’s reaction immediately, and, if necessary, adjust your message appropriately.)

Mehrabian’s model can also be applied in meetings. Imagine you’re giving a presentation about a project you care about deeply. As you speak about your commitment to the project, your body language and facial expressions are going to relay your genuine emotions far more than the words you’re speaking. If your audience needs convincing, the way you deliver your message will be critical.

The model can also be useful in interviews. When you’re speaking with a particular candidate, pay close attention to how they answer emotionally charged questions. For instance, “What excites you about the possibility of working for this company?” would be a good one. Their facial expression and vocal tone should let you know if they’re truly interested in becoming part of the team, or if they’re just after a paycheck.

Key points:

Mehrabian’s Communication Model helps us to be aware that our facial expressions and tone of voice are more important in conveying an emotional message that the words we’re actually saying. But it only applies when you’re talking about feelings and attitudes.

In sensitive situations, it’s important to remember that your facial expressions and vocal tone are carrying more weight than your words. Keeping this in mind, you can regulate your behavior to minimize miscommunication and misunderstanding




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aSSertiveneSS

Do you consider yourself to be assertive? And what does being assertive mean to you? Does it mean exercising your rights all the time, every time? Or does it mean knowing when to let someone else or some other cause or outcome take precedence over your rights? Is the boss who places a pile of work on an employee’s desk the afternoon before that employee goes on vacation, being assertive? Or, is the employee who is about to go on vacation being assertive when she tells the boss that the work will be done upon her return.

It’s not always easy to identify truly assertive behavior. This is because there is a fine line between assertiveness and aggression. Some definitions are helpful when trying to separate the two:

Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others. When you are assertive, you ask for what you want but you don’t necessarily get it.

Aggressive behavior is based on winning. It requires that you do what is in your own best interest without regard for the rights, needs, feelings or desires of others. When you are aggressive, you take what you want regardless, and you don’t usually ask.

So, that boss was being aggressive. Yes, he had work that needed to be done. However, by dumping it on his employee at such an inappropriate time, he showed a total lack of regard for the needs and feeling of his employee.

The employee on the other hand, demonstrated assertive behavior when she informed her boss that the work would be done, but it would be done after she returned from vacation. She asserted her rights while recognizing her boss’ need to get the job done.

Assertiveness is not necessarily easy, but it is a skill that can be learned. Developing your assertiveness starts with a good understanding of who you are and a belief in the value you bring. When you have that, you have the basis of self-confidence. Assertiveness helps to build on that self-confidence and provides many other benefits for improving your relationships at work and in other areas of your life as well. In general, assertive people:

Get to “win-win” more easily – they see the value in their opponent and in his/her position, and can quickly find common ground.

Are better problem solvers – they feel empowered to do whatever it takes to find the best solution.

Are less stressed – they know they have personal power and they don’t feel threatened or victimized when things don’t go as planned or expected.

Are doers – they get things done because they know they can.

When you act assertively you act fairly and with empathy. The power you use comes from your self-assurance and not from intimidation or bullying. When you treat others with such fairness and respect, you get that same treatment in return. You are well liked and people see you as a leader and someone they want to work with.

Developing your Assertiveness

Some people are naturally more assertive than others. If your disposition tends more towards being either passive or aggressive, you need to work on the following skills to develop your assertiveness.

Value yourself and your rights

Understand that your rights, thoughts, feelings, needs and desires are just as important as everyone else’s.

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But remember they are not more important than anyone else’s, either.

Recognise your rights and protect them.

Believe you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times.

Stop apologizing for everything.

Identify your needs and wants, and ask for them to be satisfied.

Don’t wait for someone to recognize what you need (you might wait forever!)

Understand that to perform to your full potential, your needs must be met.

Find ways to get your needs met without sacrificing others’ needs in the process.

Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behavior.

Don’t make the mistake of accepting responsibility for the how people react to your assertive statements (e.g. anger, resentment). You can only control yourself.

As long as you are not violating someone else’s needs, then you have the right to say or do what you want.

Express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy and positive manner.

Allow yourself to be angry, but always be respectful.

Do say what’s on your mind, but do it in a way that protects the other person’s feelings.

Control your emotions.

Stand up for yourself and confront people who challenge you and/or your rights.

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Receive criticism and compliments positively

Accept compliments graciously.

Allow yourself to make mistakes and ask for help.

Accept feedback positively – be prepared to say you don’t agree but do not get defensive or angry.

learn to say “no” when you need to. This is the granddaddy of assertiveness!

Know your limits and what will cause you to feel taken advantage of.

Know that you can’t do everything or please everyone and learn to be OK with that.

Go with what is right for you.

Suggest an alternative for a win-win solution.

Assertive Communication Techniques

There are a variety of ways to communicate assertively. By understanding how to be assertive, you can quickly adapt these techniques to any situation you are facing.

I statements

Use “I want…”, “I need…” or “I feel…” to convey basic assertions.

I feel strongly that we need to bring in a third party to mediate this disagreement.

Empathic Assertion

First, recognize how the other person views the situation:

I understand you are having trouble working with Arlene…

Then, express what you need:

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…however, this project needs to be completed by Friday. Let’s all sit down and come up with a plan to get it done.

Escalating Assertion

This type of assertiveness is necessary when your first attempts are not successful in getting your needs met.

The technique involves getting more and more firm as time goes on. It may end in you telling the person what you will do next if you do not receive satisfaction. Remember though, regardless of the consequences you give, you may not get what you want in the end.

John, this is the third time this week I’ve had to speak to you about arriving late. If you are late one more time this month, I will activate the disciplinary process.

Ask For More Time

Sometimes, you just need to put off saying anything. You might be too emotional or you might really not know what you want. Be honest and tell the person you need a few minutes to compose your thoughts.

Dave, your request has caught me off guard. I’ll get back to you within the half hour.

Change Your Verbs

Use ‘won’t’ instead of can’t’

Use ‘want’ instead of ‘need’

Use ‘choose to’ instead of ‘have to’

Use ‘could’ instead of ‘should’.

Broken Record

Prepare ahead of time the message you want to convey: I cannot take on any more projects right now.

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During the conversation, keep restating your message using the same language over and over again. Don’t relent. Eventually the person is likely to realize that you really mean what you are saying.

I would like you to work on the Clancy project.

I cannot take on any more projects right now.

I’ll pay extra for you accommodating me.


Seriously, this is really important, my boss insists this gets done.


Will you do it as a personal favor?

I‘m sorry, I value our past relationship but I simply cannot take on any more projects right now.

TIp:

Be careful with the broken record technique. If you use it to protect yourself from exploitation, that’s good. However if you use it to bully someone into taking action that’s against their interests, it’s manipulative, dishonest and bad.




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Scripting

This technique involves preparing your responses using a four-pronged approach that describes:

1. The event: tell the other person exactly how you see the situation or problem.

Jacob, the production costs this month are 23% higher than average. You didn’t give me any indication of this, which meant that I was completely surprised by the news.

2. your feelings: describe how you feel about express your emotions clearly.

This frustrates me and makes me feel like you don’t understand or appreciate how important financial controls are in the company.

3. your needs: tell the other person what you need so they don’t have to guess.

I need you to be honest with me and let me know when we start going significantly over budget on anything.

4. The consequences: describe the positive outcome if you needs are fulfilled.

I’m here to help you and support you in any way I can. If you trust me, then together we can turn this around.

Once you are clear about what you want to say and express, it is much easier to actually do it.

Key points

Being assertive means knowing where the fine line is between assertion and aggression and balancing on it. It means having a strong sense of yourself and acknowledging that you deserve to get what you want. And it means standing up for yourself even in the most difficult situations.

Assertiveness can be learned and developed, and although it won’t happen overnight, by practicing the techniques presented here you will slowly become more confident in expressing your needs and wants. As your assertiveness improves, so will your productivity and efficiency. Start today and begin to see how being assertive allows you to work with people to accomplish tasks, solve problems, and reach solutions.




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giving feedback

Employees and managers the world over dread this ritual and therein lays the main problem: We have institutionalized the giving and receiving of feedback. We save up our comments and document all the things we note about a person’s performance. And then, like a big cat ready to pounce, the manager brings a hapless employee into the office and springs a year’s worth of “constructive criticism” onto him or her.

No doubt the process is seen as unnerving and fear provoking. And this is exactly the wrong emotional environment in which to discuss performance, introduce suggestions for improvement, and talk about goals for the future. This is a shame, because giving and receiving feedback is some of the most important communication you can engage in with members of your team.

When done in the right way and with the right intentions, feedback communication is the avenue to performance greatness. Employees have to know what they are doing well and not so well. For them to really hear your thoughts and suggestions on ways to improve, though, that feedback has to be delivered carefully and frequently.

Giving feedback effectively is a skill. And like all skills, it takes practice to build your confidence and improve. The following is a collection of “feedback giving” tips that you can start putting into practice today.

TIp:

We talk generally about feedback between a manager/supervisor and employee. However, feedback can, and should, be given up, down, and laterally. The same principles apply.

giving Feedback Effectively

nUMbER onE RUlE: TRy To MAKE IT A poSITIVE pRoCESS AnD ExpERIEnCE

Before giving feedback make sure you remind yourself why you are doing it. The purpose for giving feedback is to improve the situation or performance. You won’t accomplish that by being harsh, critical, or offensive.

That’s not to say you must always be positive. There is a role for negativity and even anger if someone isn’t paying sufficient attention to what you’re saying. However this should be used sparingly. You’ll most often get much more from people when your approach is positive and focused on improvement.

be Timely

The closer to the event you address the issue, the better. Feedback isn’t about surprising someone so the sooner you do it, the more the person will be expecting it.

Think of it this way: It’s much easier to feed back about a single one-hour job that hasn’t been done properly than it is to feed back about a whole year of failed one-hour jobs.

TIp:

The exception to this is if the situation involved is highly emotional. Here, wait until everyone has calmed down before you engage in feedback. You can’t risk letting yourself get worked up and risk saying something you will regret later.

Make it RegularFeedback is a process that requires constant attention. When something needs to be said, say it. People then know where they stand all the time and there are few surprises. Also, problems don’t get out of hand. This is not a once-a-year or a once-every-




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three-month event. While this may be the timing of formal feedback, informal, simple feedback should be given much more often than this – perhaps every week or even every day, depending on the situation.

With frequent informal feedback like this, nothing said during formal feedback sessions should be unexpected, surprising or particularly difficult.

prepare your Comments

You don’t want to read a script but you do need to be clear about you are going to say. This helps you stay on track and stick to the issues.

be Specific

Tell the person exactly what they need to improve on. This ensures that you stick to facts and there is less room for ambiguity. If you tell someone they acted unprofessionally, what does that mean exactly? Were they too loud, too friendly, too casual, too flip or too poorly dressed?

Remember to stick to what you know first hand: You’ll quickly find yourself on shaky ground if you start giving feedback based on other people’s views.

TIp:

Try not to exaggerate to make a point. Avoid words like “never”, “all,” and “always” because the person will get defensive. Always discuss the direct impact of the behavior and don’t get personal or seek to blame.

Criticize in private

While public recognition is appreciated, public scrutiny is not.

Establish a safe place to talk where you won’t be interrupted or overheard.

Use “I” Statements

Give the feedback from your perspective. This way you avoid labeling the person.

Say, “I was angry and hurt when you criticized my report in front of my boss” rather than “You were insensitive yesterday.”

limit your Focus

A feedback session should discuss no more than two issues. Any more than that and you risk the person feeling attacked and demoralized.

You should also stick to behaviors the person can actually change or influence.

Talk about positives Too

A good rule is start off with something positive. This helps put the person at ease. It also lets them “see” what success looks like and this helps them to take the right steps next time.

As long as it’s not forced, it can also help to give positive feedback at the end of a feedback session too. Otherwise, people can finish feeling despondent and worthless.

TIp:

Many people can tend to overdo this and they end up sandwiching the constructive feedback between too many positives. Then the takeaway message becomes, “Gee, I’m doing really well” instead of “I’m good at communicating with customers, but I need to bring my interpersonal skills with my co-workers up to that same level.”

provide Specific Suggestions

Make sure you both know what needs to be done to improve the situation. The main message should be that you care and want to help the person grow and develop. Set goals and make plans to monitor and evaluate progress. Use the SMART acronym and define specific steps and milestones, or the GROW




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model to motivate people to deliver the change you want.

TIp:

You may not agree on everything so it is a good idea to ask the person to provide their perspective. Use phrases like, “What is your reaction to this?” or “Is this a fair representation of what happened?” Listen actively to what he or she has to say and try to get him or her to offer some suggestions for improvement. This way they have an opportunity to own the solution and are much more likely to follow through with it. To avoid sounding like you’re preaching, stay away from words like “good,” “bad,” “must,” “need to,” etc.

Follow Up

The whole purpose of feedback is to improve performance. You need to measure whether or not that is happening and then make adjustments as you go. Be sure to document your conversations and discuss what is working and what needs to be modified.

TIp:

It’s also important that you actively seek feedback from your boss, colleagues, and customers.

Key points

Feedback is a two way street. You need to know how to give it effectively and at the same time model how to receive it constructively.

When you make a conscious choice to give and receive feedback on a regular basis you demonstrate that feedback is a powerful means of personal development. Done properly, feedback need not be agonizing, demoralizing, or daunting and the more practice you get the better you will

become at it. It may never be your favorite means of communicating with employees, co-workers, or bosses but it does have the potential to make your workplace a much more productive and harmonious place to be.

getting feedback

“The leader of the past was a person who knew how to tell. The leader of the future will be the person who knows how to ask.” - Pete Drucker, author and consultant.

It’s time for Scott’s performance review – he walks in confidently, and he’s expecting praise for the hard work that he’s been putting in.

However, he’s devastated when his boss starts criticizing the quality of his work. Not only is she unhappy with Scott’s performance, but she’s also considering taking away some of his responsibilities.

Although this might sound like a drastic scenario, situations like this are more common than you might think.

After all, if your boss or your clients were unhappy with your work, they’d tell you, right? Well, not all of the time. This is why it’s so important to be




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proactive about soliciting feedback. In this article, we’ll look at how to ask for feedback, and how you can learn from it.

benefits of Feedback

To improve your skills and grow professionally, it’s essential that you get feedback on the work that you do. After all, you can’t fix something that you don’t know is broken! In turn, your improvement could lead to a promotion or to other opportunities down the road. It will also raise your self-confidence, and show your boss that you truly care about your work.

On the other hand, not getting any feedback can make you think that your contributions aren’t valued or noticed. This can make you question the importance of the work you’re doing and your overall competency. It can also damage your morale and self-confidence.

This is why it’s important for you to take the initiative in asking for feedback, especially if the people you need it from aren’t offering it on a regular basis. (For instance, some managers may only provide detailed feedback during annual performance reviews.)

An additional benefit is that when you ask for feedback, you do it on your terms. You’re mentally ready to hear the good and the bad, and you’re open to working hard to improve.

overcoming a “Fear of Feedback”

Asking for feedback can be a bit intimidating – after all, you’re opening yourself up to possible criticism. This can be difficult at first.

You can overcome this fear by adjusting your mindset. Remember that no one is perfect – all of us make mistakes, and everyone has room to improve. In this respect, you’re the same as everyone else in your organization.

But, it takes courage to admit that you’re not perfect, and to open yourself up to hear constructive comments. As such, if you ask for feedback, then you’ve already put yourself a step above your colleagues and competitors.

who to Ask for Feedback

The most obvious person to ask for feedback is your boss. However, he or she isn’t the only person who can give you useful feedback.

Your colleagues will likely have some great insights into your performance. They probably notice things about your work that you and your boss might overlook. (You can offer to give feedback to them as well.)

You can also ask your customers for feedback. This shows them that you care about your relationship and the work you do for them. It also gives you a chance to address any issues before they lose confidence in you, and take their business elsewhere.

Additionally, you can ask vendors and suppliers for feedback – any insights that improve your working relationships can be valuable.

Note:

It can be hard for other people to give you




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feedback, especially if it’s constructive criticism. They most likely want to help but they probably also don’t want to hurt your feelings! So do your best to put them at ease, so that they can be honest with you.

how to Ask for Feedback

We’ll now look at how you can ask for feedback effectively:

1. Consider the Timing

First, think about why you want feedback, so that you can time your request appropriately. For instance, do you want feedback on your general performance, or on a specific project, task, or event?

If you need feedback on general performance, then you can ask for it at any sensible time. However, if you need feedback on something specific, such as the meeting you just led or the report you just submitted, it’s most helpful to ask for it right after the event takes place. This immediacy will ensure that you get the most accurate picture of your performance.

2. Be Specific

Whenever you ask for feedback, be as specific as possible.

General questions such as “How am I doing?” will most likely receive general answers. You’ll get better feedback by asking specific questions such as “Have my weekly reports been as thorough as you want them to be?”

You can also ask for a specific action to take. For instance, you could ask, “What’s one thing I could do, in your opinion, to improve here?”

If you’re unsure about why the other person is giving you a specific type of feedback, or if you feel that person might have jumped to the

wrong conclusions, then ask further questions. It’s important to clarify any feedback while the person is giving it; if you don’t, you’ll just stew over it later, and perhaps jump to some incorrect conclusions yourself.

3. Be Graceful

If you receive negative feedback, it’s tempting to provide an excuse for your behavior or to point the finger of blame at someone else.

Therefore, it’s important to learn how to handle criticism with grace. Remember, you asked for this opportunity to improve! Be open and diplomatic in your responses, and thank the other person for his or her time and effort.

4. Really Listen

When you receive feedback, you might instantly start thinking of excuses to explain your behavior, or you might start planning what you’re going to say when the other person has finished speaking.

So, make an effort to listen in detail to the other person when receiving feedback. Use Active Listening so that you get the full measure of what this person is saying.

how to Use Feedback Effectively

Feedback is only useful when you take the next step and actually do something with it.

Explore the feedback you receive before you take action on it. This will help you understand why your behavior needs to change. (You may find the Feedback Matrix useful for thinking about this.)

Once you better understand the feedback, come up with a plan to use it. Ask yourself how you’re going to improve, and write out the steps you need to take.

This can then become an important personal goal.




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For instance, imagine your boss gave you some useful feedback at the end of your last presentation; she said you need to work on your presentation manner, especially your nerves. You could make this a goal, and commit to spending some time on it so that you can improve your presentation skills.

when Feedback Is Unfair

Some of the feedback you receive will be useful and will motivate you to perform better. However, some may be the opposite – either unusable or downright unfair.

Unfair feedback is often harsh, personal, and generalized, and is likely to be more of a personal attack than a sincere desire to help you improve.

Key points

Feedback can be incredibly useful if you want to grow, both personally and professionally. It’s important to realize that you’ll often need to ask for feedback.

Be specific about what you want to know when you ask for feedback. Ask questions to clarify anything that you’re unsure about, and be graceful as you receive the feedback. Keep in mind that it’s often as difficult to give feedback as it is to hear it. With that in mind, make sure that you say “thank you”!

After you’ve received feedback, take time to understand the other person’s comments and then come up with a plan to improve. The information you receive through feedback can turn into goals that you can use to improve your career.

feedback matrixSusanne: Hi, thanks for meeting with me today. As I mentioned, I wanted to talk with you about the construction plan you submitted yesterday. As usual, the quality of the plan was great. You definitely know what’s expected by us and our client, so I want to thank you for that.

Charles: Thanks, it’s great to hear feedback like that.

Susanne: Well, I’m glad you feel that way. What I’m a bit more concerned about, though, are the deadlines. You know that we build in extra time between when you submit the plans to us and when we actually present them to the client. However, I see that you often take advantage of that extra time, and you delay submitting your plans – they’re sometimes up to a week late. This creates a bottleneck at the engineering approval stage, and I’m starting to hear about it. What can I do to get you back on track, so we return to the more efficient process we had before?

Charles: I’m really sorry. I’ve been stressed at home lately, and it doesn’t help that Les, the new guy, comes to me with questions all the time. Can you give me a week to focus on finishing the plan I’m working on now? With fewer distractions and some time to work out my problems, I know I’ll get back on schedule.

Susanne: That’s seems reasonable. Thank you for being honest. I’ll tell Les to ask Madeline for advice and suggestions for now. Let’s get together in a few days to discuss your progress.

This sounds like a “textbook” feedback exchange – just how it’s supposed to happen. Susanne expressed her concern, Charles accepted the feedback, they agreed upon a solution, and they have a date for follow-up.

However, while it seems ideal, we don’t know how well it actually worked. And if the results of many feedback sessions are any indication, there may be less positive change than we would hope.




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Have you ever been part of a conversation like that? Chances are that you’ve observed that people (possibly yourself!) do one of two things when receiving feedback:

They accept the negative part of the feedback, but try to explain it or justify it (or decide that the person giving the feedback is wrong, so the comments are dismissed entirely!)

They focus on the positive, and use it to reinforce what they already know to be true.

In either case, the feedback often fails to achieve the desired result. Rather than starting the process of self-examination to understand how their behavior needs to change, people continue to do what they were doing before, without making any major shift or correction.

The Matrix

The feedback matrix, as shown below, is a useful tool that helps with self-exploration. It encourages you to examine both the positive and negative aspects of feedback, and then connect the comments back to what you already know about yourself, and what you did not know and need to explore more fully.

POSITIVE NEGATIVE

EXPECTED

UNEXPECTED

Feedback generally falls into one of the categories in the matrix:

Positive/Expected – We often have a good idea of what we do well, because we receive regular positive feedback about these things. But instead of simply hearing this familiar praise and doing nothing with it, ask yourself:

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- How can I celebrate this aspect of myself?

- How can I use this skill to improve my productivity or personal satisfaction?

- How can I use the skill to help others who are not as strong?

Negative/Expected – If we’re honest with ourselves, we’re often aware of some of the areas in our life that need improvement. If our boss asks for a meeting, chances are we know and expect what will be discussed. In fact, we’re often more critical of ourselves than others are, but we just don’t know how to improve without some help. To apply this expected feedback and make a positive change, ask yourself:

- What actions have I already taken to address this concern?

- How successful were those actions?

- What else do I need to examine and/or change to achieve the results I want?

- If I don’t make these changes, how will this impact my job or life?

Positive/Unexpected – Receiving positive feedback that we don’t expect is like a surprise birthday present. It creates a wonderful feeling when we learn or hear something positive that was totally unexpected. But after the initial joy, it’s important to examine this feedback further by asking yourself:

- Why was I surprised to hear this?

- What previous experiences might have caused me to forget or dismiss this strength or ability?

- How will I celebrate this newly discovered skill?

- How can I use this skill to improve my life?

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Negative/Unexpected – This feedback is the most difficult to hear and understand. But it can also be the source of much self-discovery, if we’re open to it. This unexpected feedback often comes from areas that we don’t want to acknowledge, or aren’t prepared to face, and it can cause some strong emotions. However, when we learn to deal with it, we can take big steps forward on our journey of self-improvement. Some further questions to explore include:

- What other information do I need to make sense of the feedback?

- What support do I need to deal with the implications?

- What plan can I put in place to make small, achievable changes in the short term?

- How will improving this impact other areas of my job or life?

Key points

Feedback is meant to be the first step toward change. Unfortunately, the result is often too much or too little change, which doesn’t help you achieve your goals.

The Feedback Matrix helps you get the most from any feedback session. It leads you to examine the negative and positive aspects of the feedback, and ask yourself what you did and did not expect. It challenges you to take advantage of the expected positives, commit to working harder on the expected negatives, celebrate the unexpected positives, and fully explore the unexpected negatives. With this tool, you can use feedback effectively to achieve significant, positive change.

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active liStening

Given all this listening we do, you would think we’d be good at it!

In fact most of us are not. Depending on the study being quoted, we remember between 25% and 50% of what we hear. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation. This is dismal!

Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren’t hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25 – 50%, but what if they’re not?

Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you will improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What’s




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more, you’ll avoid conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success!

Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. By understanding your personal style of communicating, you will go a long way towards creating good and lasting impressions with others.

The way to become a better listener is to practice “active listening”. This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent.

In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.

You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter arguments that you’ll make when the other person stops speaking. Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying. All of these contribute to a lack of listening and understanding.

TIp:

If you’re finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them – this will reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what he or she is saying. To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you’ve ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying. You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it’s even worthwhile continuing to speak. It feels like talking to a brick wall and it’s something you want to avoid.

Acknowledgement can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple “uh huh.” You aren’t necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening also reminds you to pay attention and not let your mind wander.

You should also try to respond to the speaker in a way that will both encourage him or her to continue speaking, so that you can get the information if you need. While nodding and “uh huhing” says you’re interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said communicates that you understand the message as well.

becoming an Active listener

There are five key elements of active listening. They all help you ensure that you hear the other person, and that the other person knows you are hearing what they say.

1. Pay attention.

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also “speaks” loudly.

Look at the speaker directly.

Put aside distracting thoughts. Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal!

Avoid being distracted by environmental factors.

“Listen” to the speaker’s body language.

Refrain from side conversations when listening in a group setting.

2. Show that you are listening.

Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

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Nod occasionally.

Smile and use other facial expressions.

Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.

Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

3. Provide feedback.

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…” are great ways to reflect back.

Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say…” “Is this what you mean?”

Summarize the speaker’s comments periodically.

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If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so, and ask for more information: “I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX; is that what you meant?”

4. Defer judgment.

Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

Allow the speaker to finish.

Don’t interrupt with counter arguments.

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5. Respond Appropriately.

Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

Be candid, open, and honest in your response.

Assert your opinions respectfully.

Treat the other person as he or she would want to be treated.

Key points:

It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening habits are as bad as many people’s are, then there’s a lot of habit-breaking to do!

Be deliberate with your listening and remind yourself frequently that your goal is to truly hear what the other person is saying. Set aside all other thoughts and behaviors and concentrate on the message. Ask questions, reflect, and paraphrase to ensure you understand the message. If you don’t, then you’ll find that what someone says to you and what you hear can be amazingly different!

Start using active listening today to become a better communicator, improve your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships.

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role playingpreparinG for difficult conversations and situations

Role playing is a useful technique for thinking about difficult situations before they occur, so that you have good pre-prepared responses for the different eventualities that can arise. Role-playing can also be used to analyze problems from different perspectives, to spark brainstorming sessions, to experiment with different solutions to a problem, to develop team work, and help group problem-solving.

Role-playing happens when a group of people act out roles in a particular scenario. The scenario is usually based on a problem that needs a solution, a situation that needs to be more closely examined, or a case or issue that demands a different perspective.

By acting the scenario through, participants can pre-experience the likely reactions to different approaches, and can get a feel for the approaches that will work and those that might be counter-productive.

They can get a good feel for what people are likely to be thinking and feeling in the situation.

And by repeating the scenarios, people can understand how different approaches might work, so that an ideal approach can be identified.

More than this, by preparing for a situation using role-play, people build up experience and self-confidence in handling the situation in real life. They develop quick and instinctively correct reactions to situations, meaning that they can react effectively as situations evolve rather than making mistakes or being overwhelmed by events.

how to use the tool:

To start the process, the role play leader introduces the problem and encourages an open discussion in order to uncover all the relevant issues. This also serves to get participants thinking about the problem before the role-playing begins.

From this, participants set up a role playing scenario in enough detail for it to feel real.

The next step is to identify the different “people” involved in the scenario. Some of these will be people from within the organization who have to deal with the situation. Others will represent people from outside the organization, and may take roles that are supportive or hostile, depending on the scenario.

Individual participants in the role play are allocated the roles of each of these people, and try to put themselves “inside the minds” of these people in their imaginations. This involves trying to understand the perspectives of these people, their goals and motivations, and the way they are feeling when they enter the situation.

Participants then act the situations through, trying different approaches to resolving the problems faced.

A useful approach is for scenarios to build up in intensity, starting easily with all parties being well-




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disposed towards one-another. As participants get experience in handling these simple situations, the participants playing the roles of people from outside the organization can get increasingly hostile or difficult, testing out the correct approaches for handling these situations and giving people experience in handling them.

Upon completion of the role-playing, the trainer leads a discussion on the role-play and solicits written summaries of the activities from all involved. These can be compiled into a single brief and distributed to participants.

Example:

In an effort to improve customer support, John, Customer Service Manager for Mythco Technologies, implements a team role-playing session. Acting as the leader/trainer, John brings together a group of software developers and customer support representatives.

John divides the 12 colleagues into two role-playing groups: Group 1 represents the customer support representatives; Group 2 represents the customer.

John tells Group 1 that the customer in this situation is one of Mythco’s longest-standing customers and this customer accounts for nearly 15% of the company’s overall annual revenue. In short, this customer cannot be lost!

John tells Group 2 that, as the customer, they have recently received a software product that does not live up to its expectations. While the customer has a long-standing relationship with Mythco, this time they are growing weary because what they believe to be inferior software has been sold to them on two separate occasions. Clearly, the relationship with Mythco is in jeopardy.

John now allows the groups to brainstorm for a few minutes.

Next (with this particular approach to role play) each group sends forth an “actor” to role-play. The actor receives support and coaching from members of his/her team throughout the entire role-playing process. Each team is able to take time-outs and regroup quickly as needed.

John runs through the scenario several times, starting with the “customer” playing gently and ending with the customer playing extremely aggressively.

And each time, a best solution is found. Of course, John can always ask for additional role-playing and additional solutions if he feels the process needs to continue or that viable solutions have yet to be uncovered.

Once it is clear no more solutions are to be found, John brings the two groups together and the role-playing is discussed. During this discussion, John and both teams discuss the strategies and the solutions that were implemented and then apply these to the actual situation.

John also asks each team to write a short summary about what they learned from the role-playing exercise. He then combines the summaries and provides a copy of everything learned to all participants.

conflict reSolutionresolvinG conflict rationally and effectively

In many cases, conflict in the workplace just seems to be a fact of life. We’ve all seen situations where different people with different goals and needs have come into conflict. And we’ve all seen the often-intense personal animosity that can result.

The fact that conflict exists, however, is not




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necessarily a bad thing: As long as it is resolved effectively, it can lead to personal and professional growth.

In many cases, effective conflict resolution can make the difference between positive and negative outcomes.

The good news is that by resolving conflict successfully, you can solve many of the problems that it has brought to the surface, as well as getting benefits that you might not at first expect:

Increased understanding: The discussion needed to resolve conflict expands people’s awareness of the situation, giving them an insight into how they can achieve their own goals without undermining those of other people;

Increased group cohesion: When conflict is resolved effectively, team members can develop stronger mutual respect, and a renewed faith in their ability to work together; and

Improved self-knowledge: Conflict pushes individuals to examine their goals in close detail , helping them understand the things that are most important to them, sharpening their focus, and enhancing their effectiveness.

However, if conflict is not handled effectively, the results can be damaging. Conflicting goals can quickly turn into personal dislike. Teamwork breaks down. Talent is wasted as people disengage from their work. And it’s easy to end up in a vicious downward spiral of negativity and recrimination.

If you’re to keep your team or organization working effectively, you need to stop this downward spiral as soon as you can. To do this, it helps to understand two of the theories that lie behind effective conflict resolution:

Understanding the Theory: Conflict Styles

In the 1970s Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann

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identified five main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees of cooperativeness and assertiveness. They argued that people typically have a preferred conflict resolution style. However they also noted that different styles were most useful in different situations. They developed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) which helps you to identify which style you tend towards when conflict arises.

Thomas and Kilmann’s styles are:

Competitive: People who tend towards a competitive style take a firm stand, and know what they want. They usually operate from a position of power, drawn from things like position, rank, expertise, or persuasive ability. This style can be useful when there is an emergency and a decision needs to be make fast; when the decision is unpopular; or when defending against someone who is trying to exploit the situation selfishly. However it can leave people feeling bruised, unsatisfied and resentful when used in less urgent situations.

Collaborative: People tending towards a collaborative style try to meet the needs of all people involved. These people can be highly assertive but unlike the competitor, they cooperate effectively and acknowledge that everyone is important. This




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style is useful when a you need to bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution; when there have been previous conflicts in the group; or when the situation is too important for a simple trade-off.

Compromising: People who prefer a compromising style try to find a solution that will at least partially satisfy everyone. Everyone is expected to give up something, and the compromiser him- or herself also expects to relinquish something. Compromise is useful when the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground, when equal strength opponents are at a standstill and when there is a deadline looming.

Accommodating: This style indicates a willingness to meet the needs of others at the expense of the person’s own needs. The accommodator often knows when to give in to others, but can be persuaded to surrender a position even when it is not warranted. This person is not assertive but is highly cooperative. Accommodation is appropriate when the issues matter more to the other party, when peace is more valuable than winning, or when you want to be in a position to collect on this “favor” you gave. However people may not return favors, and overall this approach is unlikely to give the best outcomes.

Avoiding: People tending towards this style seek to evade the conflict entirely. This style is typified by delegating controversial decisions, accepting default decisions, and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. It can be appropriate when victory is impossible, when the controversy is trivial, or when someone else is in a better position to solve the problem. However in many situations this is a weak and ineffective approach to take.

Once you understand the different styles, you can use them to think about the most appropriate approach (or mixture of approaches) for the situation you’re in. You can also think about your

own instinctive approach, and learn how you need to change this if necessary.

Ideally you can adopt an approach that meets the situation, resolves the problem, respects people’s legitimate interests, and mends damaged working relationships.

Understanding The Theory: The “Interest-based Relational Approach”

The second theory is commonly referred to as the “Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach”. This type of conflict resolution respects individual differences while helping people avoid becoming too entrenched in a fixed position.

In resolving conflict using this approach, you follow these rules:

Make sure that good relationships are the first priority: As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other calmly and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be courteous to one-another and remain constructive under pressure;

Keep people and problems separate: Recognize that in many cases the other person is not just “being difficult” – real and valid differences can lie behind conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships;

pay attention to the interests that are being presented: By listening carefully you’ll most-likely understand why the person is adopting his or her position;

listen first; talk second: To solve a problem effectively you have to understand where the other person is coming from before defending your own position;

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Set out the “Facts”: Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision; and

Explore options together: Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that you can get to this idea jointly.

By following these rules, you can often keep contentious discussions positive and constructive. This helps to prevent the antagonism and dislike which so-often causes conflict to spin out of control.

Using the Tool: A Conflict Resolution process

Based on these approaches, a starting point for dealing with conflict is to identify the overriding conflict style employed by yourself, your team or your organization.

Over time, people’s conflict management styles tend to mesh, and a “right” way to solve conflict emerges. It’s good to recognize when this style can be used effectively, however make sure that people understand that different styles may suit different situations.

Look at the circumstances, and think about the style that may be appropriate.

Then use the process below to resolve the conflict:

Step One: Set the Scene

Make sure that people understand that the conflict may be a mutual problem, which may be best resolved through discussion and negotiation rather than through raw aggression.

If you are involved in the conflict, emphasize the fact that you are presenting your perception of the problem. Use active listening skills to ensure you hear and understand other’s positions and perceptions.

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Restate

Paraphrase

Summarize

And make sure that when you talk, you’re using an adult, assertive approach rather than a submissive or aggressive style.

Step Two: Gather Information

Here you are trying to get to the underlying interests, needs, and concerns. Ask for the other person’s viewpoint and confirm that you respect his or her opinion and need his or her cooperation to solve the problem.

Try to understand his or her motivations and goals, and see how your actions may be affecting these.

Also, try to understand the conflict in objective terms: Is it affecting work performance? damaging the delivery to the client? disrupting team work? hampering decision-making? or so on. Be sure to focus on work issues and leave personalities out of the discussion.

Listen with empathy and see the conflict from the other person’s point of view

Identify issues clearly and concisely

Use “I” statements

Remain flexible

Clarify feelings

Step Three: Agree the Problem

This sounds like an obvious step, but often different underlying needs, interests and goals can cause people to perceive problems very differently. You’ll need to agree the problems that you are trying to solve before you’ll find a mutually acceptable solution.

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Sometimes different people will see different but interlocking problems – if you can’t reach a common perception of the problem, then at the very least, you need to understand what the other person sees as the problem.

Step Four: Brainstorm Possible Solutions

If everyone is going to feel satisfied with the resolution, it will help if everyone has had fair input in generating solutions. Brainstorm possible solutions, and be open to all ideas, including ones you never considered before.

Step Five: Negotiate a Solution

By this stage, the conflict may be resolved: Both sides may better understand the position of the other, and a mutually satisfactory solution may be clear to all.

However you may also have uncovered real differences between your positions. This is where a technique like win-win negotiation can be useful to find a solution that, at least to some extent, satisfies everyone.

There are three guiding principles here: be Calm, be patient, have Respect…

Key points

Conflict in the workplace can be incredibly destructive to good teamwork.

Managed in the wrong way, real and legitimate differences between people can quickly spiral out of control, resulting in situations where co-operation breaks down and the team’s mission is threatened. This is particularly the case where the wrong approaches to conflict resolution are used.

To calm these situations down, it helps to take a positive approach to conflict resolution, where discussion is courteous and non-confrontational, and the focus is on issues rather than on individuals.

If this is done, then, as long as people listen carefully and explore facts, issues and possible solutions properly, conflict can often be resolved effectively.




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Journal WritingFollowing each class, you will have time to write up your journal entry. This is a record of what you personally have gained from the session and what you still want to achieve or learn in this area. You can also write in your journal about things that have happened at work or with friends that are connected to the topics covered in the classes.

Assessment

Multicultural communication is a very important part of this course. Your tutor will want to check that you are keeping your journal regularly and you may be asked to talk in general about some of the things you have written, just to make sure you are on the right track. But your tutor will not read your journal. It is personal - a place for you to write down what’s happening to you and what progress you feel you are making on the course and in your life in general.

Each entry should include:

The date of the lesson.

The topic being covered.

Anything you learnt from other people in the class.

What you learnt about yourself in the lesson.

Feelings/thoughts about yourself from what you learnt

A re-think of your own strengths and weaknesses.

Goals and action steps for the future.

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learner copy 1:

communication skill descriptors scaling sheet

Learner name: Learner signature:

Tutor name: Tutor signature:

Date:

Please put an X in the appropriate box, 0 = not at all developed, 10 = very well developed

Communication skill descriptors 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 Identify basic communication principles.

2 Apply a communication process model.

3 Set clear goals for their communication.

4 Determine outcomes and results.

5 Initiate communications.

6 Avoid communication breakdowns.

7 Translate across communication styles.

8 Listen for improved understanding.

9 Achieve genuine communication.

10 Match the body language to the message.

11 Work constructively with emotions.

12 Manage verbal communication.

In each of boxes below, choose 1 of the skills above and explain in what situation you feel you have shown the skill or give any other evidence for rating the skill as you have done.




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CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION

THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT

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has completed the module

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from ....................................................... to .......................................................

And has made particular progress in the following areas:

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communication SkillS training