North Carolina State University

Your Foundation for

Business Writing

Jamie Sue ReedEnglish 332

Let’s face it.

Business Writing is Boring

If I convey only one idea to you with this course, it should be this: Don’t be boring.

It turns readers off.

Business readers are people, too. They are susceptible to distractions and they want to be stimulated. They didn’t like reading business textbooks either, so when they hear from you, they don’t want to read McGraw-Hill-someone-just-gave-me-an-Ambien McSpeak.

Write like you! Get to the point, make it concise, make it interesting.

How? By…

• Removing unnecessary words• Writing clearly• Organizing your writing• Making it visually interesting• Saying interesting things.• Using plain English• Being you

That sounds like a lot of work.

Ya.

A yawn may not be polite, but at least it is an honest opinion.

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Have you ever eaten at ?

Have you ever worked at ? I imagine eating at is about 1 million times more fun than working there.

Now, imagine working at for 40 years. Alternatively, you could learn to write well, which would make you a professional. Then you could get a job

where you get to Friday afternoons with the boss.

Decide now. If you want to learn to write well, read on.

We can sum up the goal of quality business writing with the term:

Plain English.That does not mean the writing is unsophisticated or lacks precision. In fact, plain English sounds quite educated because it focuses the reader on the content, rather than distracting with the style. Do you know what the best business schools today teach? Plain English!? In The Plain English Approach to Business Writing, Edward P. Bailey Jr., and Larry Bailey (who studied through Harvard business extension), say they taught writing in college for years and then discovered plain English—which changed everything. They say plain English has two advantages:

1. It’s easier to write.2. It’s easier to read.

So, what is it? The Baileys say plain English includes three characteristics, and I quote:

• Style. By style I [the Baileys] mean, how to write clear, readable sentences.• Organization. I suggest starting with your main point almost all the time….• Layout…. Headings, bullets, and other techniques of using white space help

your reader see the underlying structure of your writing.

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You are not going to believe your luck!

Those three points happen to be exactly what I teach in this class!

As Jack Nicholson said to Helen Hunt:

This is as good

as it gets.

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So, here’s what you do:

1. Establish your primary purpose.Ask yourself what you want your reader to do, think, and believe after reading your work.

2. Assess your readers:Do you have multiple readers?Who needs to see or to use the document?What are your readers’ needs and attitudes?What do the readers already know about this?Should you define basic terminology?

3. Assess the context:Context is the environment or circumstances in which a communication is produced. What does the reader need to know about why this communication is being produced?

4. Determine the scope of your coverage.How much and what type of information will you need to include in your writing to accomplish your communication goals? You should know this after thoroughly assessing audience and context.

5. Select the appropriate medium:EmailMemoLetterReportOne-on-one communicationGroup verbal communication

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Remember those Baileys guys from slide 3? (If not, you probably need to start paying attention right about now.)

Their first point was about style. So, what does good writing style sound like? It is:

Concise&

ClearLet’s start with strategies to make your writing concise.

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BS

Passive VoiceYou might think you know passive voice, but eight out of ten of my students are unable to identify it!!! So, proceed with care.

To recognize passive structures, identify the Actor, the Action, the Receiver in a sentence; then determine what order they are in.

When the actor is first, you have an active sentence: • Australian companies (actor) manufacture (action) millions of precision

machine tools (receiver).

With the receiver first, you have a passive sentence. Passive voice structures also often have the preposition “by":

• Millions of precision machine tools (receiver) are manufactured (action) by Australian companies (actor).

Some passives are missing the actor altogether:• Millions of precision machine tools (receiver) are manufactured (action).

What’s so wrong with passive voice? Some people like it. In fact, for science writing, it’s preferred. However, business people rank it in the top ten of Don’ts. Why?

• It has a bureaucratic tone.• It is unclear.• It can leave out important information.• It can sound weak-willed, indecisive or evasive.

What if you miss using passive voice? Will you ever get to use it again? Sure. Under three circumstances. Memorize these:

• When you don’t know who did the action: The candy store was robbed.

• When everyone knows who did the action: The senator was reelected.

• You want to de-emphasize the actor: The policy was signed.

For more information, visit: Owl at Purdue.

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Slow Wind Up:Is That

The slow wind up usually adds unnecessary words. Omit them or rewrite to improve conciseness.

EXAMPLE: • My contention is that the program needs to

last three more weeks.

• I contend the program needs to last three more weeks.

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FalseA false start or a false subject is any sentence that starts with or has after an initial clause, “It is,” “there are,” “there is.”

EXAMPLE:

• There are two significant facts that influenced our recommendation. (Weak)

• Two significant factors influenced our recommendation. (Stronger, more concise)

However, “there are" can be the best way to start a simple sentence, like this:

"There are three great oaks on the road to Doomthorpe.” ~From Shakespeare’s Hamlet

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WeakVerbs:Ban these from all sentences,

except the short, declarative

variety. Choose more specific

verbs instead.

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UseVerbs!

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Camouflaged VerbsCamouflaged verbs are unlucky indeed. They once were verbs, and then they got suffixes and were turned into boring, old nouns. They want nothing more than to be the powerful verbs they were intended to be. Find your camouflaged verbs and liberate them!

EXAMPLES:

• A suspension of these programs by the dean will not occur until his reevaluation of their progress is complete. (18 words; camouflaged verbs are bold)

• The dean will suspend these programs until he reevaluates their progress. (11 words)

Camouflaged verbs generally end with suffixes such as:

-ion-tion-ment-ant-ent-ence-ance-ency

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STRUCTURIN

G YOUR W

RITIN

GSTRUCTURING YOUR W

RITING

STRUCTURING

YOUR WRITING

IntroductionsBusiness introductions are different than what you have been writing in school. Please read this carefully!

The introduction may be as short as a single sentence for a short document, like a cover letter, or as long as a few paragraphs for long documents, like reports or proposals.

In writing business introductions, DON’T:

• Include support or background for your argument.• Focus on a minor point.• Rush to a solution when the reader is not convinced of a

problem.• Inject opinions (or any “I” statement).• Ever, ever, ever label your first paragraph

“Introduction.” The reader knows what it is.

DO the following:

• Anchor the reader in context. In other words, what precipitated the writing? Were you requested to do it? Did you discuss the content in prior meetings?

• Clarify purpose: What do you want from your reader?

The readers should know what you want and what you have to offer, the WIIFM (what’s-in-it-for-me) before they get to the body.

NOTE: An introduction and a conclusion can work together to emphasize aspects of the same theme. You may use your conclusion to go full circle and give the reader a feeling of completion by referring to the introductory paragraph and your theme either with key words or parallel concepts and images.

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ConclusionsIn writing business conclusions, DON’T:

• Repeat yourself• Introduce a new idea or subtopic• Focus on a minor point.• Conclude with a sentence tacked on to your final point.

(A conclusion must be its own paragraph.)• Personalize your point by saying such things as “I think

…” or, “I believe….”

DO conclude with one or more of the following:

• A one-sentence summary AT MOST of the paper’s main idea.

• Express next steps and offer to help with getting started.• Call for action.• End with a warning.• Universalize (compare to other situations concretely).• Suggest results or consequences.

It’s a PROCESS

Don’t leave the writing of the introductions and conclusions to the night before submission. It’s the critical and creative thinking behind the beginning and end of your piece of writing that will make it effective. Thinking takes time and effort.

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Topic SentencesA well-organized paragraph supports or develops a single controlling idea, which is expressed in a sentence called the topic sentence.

A topic sentence has several important functions:

• It substantiates or supports an essay’s thesis statement; • It unifies the content of a paragraph and directs the order of

the sentences; and • It advises the reader of the subject to be discussed and how the

paragraph will discuss it.

Readers generally look to the first few sentences in a paragraph to determine the subject and perspective of the paragraph. That’s why it’s often best to put the topic sentence at the very beginning of the paragraph. In some cases, however, it’s more effective to place another sentence before the topic sentence—for example, a sentence linking the current paragraph to the previous one, or one providing background information.

Although most paragraphs should have a topic sentence, there are a few situations when a paragraph might not need one. For example, you might be able to omit a topic sentence in a paragraph that narrates a series of events, if a paragraph continues developing an idea that you introduced (with a topic sentence) in the previous paragraph, or if all the sentences and details in a paragraph clearly refer—perhaps indirectly—to a main point. The vast majority of your paragraphs, however, should have topic sentences.

SOURCE: Indiana University

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Sentence LengthThinking habits have changed. This correlates with the rise of multi-tasking, the reduction of attention levels, the increased consumption of sugar and caffeine, MTV, audio books, mohawks, and … I’m sorry, I forgot what I was talking about.

• In Elizabethan times, sentences averaged 40 to 60 words. No kidding!

• By 1900 the average sentence in English had shrunk to 21 words.

• By the 1970s it was 17 words.• Today writing averages 12 to 17 words per sentence.

Here’s the point—and I do have one:

Effective writing varies the length and rhythm of sentences. It balances longer sentences with shorter ones, but it keeps the average sentence length below 20 words.

According to Write-an-Essay.com:

An average of between 15 to 20 words … produces a clear and readable style. It’s the same average as well-respected publications such as New Scientist or The Economist consistently produce. Below 15 words and there’s a danger your writing will become too choppy and disjointed. As you go above the 20-word average, your document becomes more difficult to read.

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Paragraph LengthAs you do with sentences, vary the length of paragraphs to keep your reader’s attention. Business paragraphs should be short:

• 10 lines at most in narrative writing

• 8 lines on press releases• 5 lines in emails

Please, please, please notice this very important point: No paragraph should exceed ten lines on the page. That’s 10. Or X. It’s one more than nine and one less than eleven. It’s equivalent to 2 times 5. I mean it. And even though I’m trying so hard to emphasize this point, I have students who will turn in their final exam with paragraphs that are twenty lines long. True story.

To check your paragraph length in programs like Microsoft Word, just highlight the paragraph and click on “Word Count.” That also gives a line count.

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Paragraph Design

Single-spaced business writing: Do not indent paragraphs; space between paragraphs.

Double-spaced business writing: Indent paragraphs. Do not space between them.

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Writing Good Paragraphs

Unfortunately, it seems as if the ease of reading is inversely proportional to the ease of writing. In other words, the harder you work on the writing, the easier it is to read. Why is it that work always seems like so much work?

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It is easy to write a bad paragraph and you can go ahead and keep writing them until the cows come home, and if you do, the cows probably will come home and you’ll find yourself sleeping with them in the barn. Or, you could start writing good paragraphs.

At this point, I’d like you to close your eyes and pretend that you know nothing about writing complex paragraphs. And with that beautifully open mind, read on.

Paragraph Varieties:Simple and Complex• A simple paragraph can be as short as a sentence,

or for emphasis it can be just one word. It’s not rocket science—simple paragraphs are simple to construct. You could shoot out dozens of them without even engaging your brain. But when you get to the complex paragraph, it’s a different story.

• Complex paragraphs seem to be complex to construct. Go figure!

So, how do I write a complex paragraph? First think, “Hakuna Matata.” Relax, be happy. If you are relaxed, your writing will flow. If you’re having writer’s anxiety and you’re cranky because you think English classes are about as much fun as cleaning a chicken coop, your narrative will be uptight, stilted, and hard to read.

On the next slide is the magic formula, previously known only to the members of the Secret Society of Bluestocking Scribes and passed on from generation to generation on the head of a pin, but divulged here to students wise enough to take my class:

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5 Steps to Good Paragraphs1. Write topic sentences that organize your paragraphs. For further information, read "Topic Sentences."

2. Limit paragraphs to a single main idea. A paragraph is unified when every sentence develops the point made in the topic sentence. In order to determine whether a paragraph is focused, ask yourself: "What main point am I trying to convey here?" (topic sentence); and then "Does every sentence clearly relate to this idea?"

3. Organize paragraphs. That means related pieces of evidence should be together.:

4. Use key words and other devices to make paragraphs cohesive. See example below with key words bold:

For the past year I have proven my leadership and organizational skills by serving as secretary of my sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha. In this position I am responsible for taking minutes at meetings, recording attendance at all meetings and chapter events, maintaining chapter archives, ordering supplies, corresponding with Nationals, informing members of chapter events, and serving as chairperson for several committees. The office also emphasizes teamwork and cooperation with other Executive Council officers to govern the chapter. The skills I have learned and presented through this position make me a prime candidate for Project Manager.

5. When appropriate, incorporate lists into your paragraphs. You will need a sentence that leads into a list. A list cannot directly follow a heading. Using lists saves your reader time and business people love it when you save them time because then they can take longer lunches and even find time to practice their putting.

Don’t forget to include a lead-in fragment to your list (like “I completed:”), and follow the list with a concluding sentence before you move on to the next paragraph. That creates what is called narrative flow and flow is a good thing because it keeps your reader’s attention.

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Like this: Not like this:Topic Sentence: My writing skills Sentence 2: Writing styleSentence 3: More about writing style.Sentence 4: GrammarSentence 5: More about grammarSentence 6: Organization

Topic Sentence: My writing skills Sentence 2: Writing styleSentence 3: GrammarSentence 4: More about grammarSentence 5: OrganizationSentence 6: More about writing style.

TransitionsTransitions are concepts or words that link ideas(and are frequently found in topic sentences). They pull the reader from thought to thought like a bridge, providing a feeling of continuity and keeping your reader’s attention. They can take the form of repeated words, and often are conjunctions(linking words) such as although, because, so, moreover, or therefore.

If you are writing anything other than an outline, think of your writing as a “narrative.” That means it must flow continuously. You need transition sentences between sections and before and after lists. A transition sentence can be in its own paragraph. If you incorporate it into a paragraph that develops a topic itself, then make sure the transition sentence does not stray from the main idea of the paragraph.

Don’t bore your reader with complex transitions such as: accordingly, as you are aware, consequently, for this reason, furthermore, hence, in addition, inasmuch as, likewise, more specifically, moreover, nevertheless, nonetheless. Use plain English, not business-ese.

When writing transitions, particularly between paragraphs, get to the point. The following are example topic sentences with transitions.

• Weak: In developing our service, we conducted a lot of research. (What kind? What did you learn?)

• Better: Our market research included a focus group, a poll, and a competitor analysis. (Explaining your methodology furthers your credibility, but is not the most important point of the section)

• Best: Using three methods of comparison, we determined that no transportation system provides a similar service. (Tell the main idea about what you determined)

• Weak: Marketing is important for every company’s success. (Don’t state the obvious.)

• Better: We developed a marketing strategy that includes Internet advertising and direct mail. (Explain types of marketing)

• Best: Our marketing plan will enable the company to reach 30,000 people in the first week for a cost of $5,000. (Explain objectives and parameters of your plan)

Transitional Words and Phrases SOURCE: http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/Transitions.html

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C LARITY

CLARITY

Affirmative VoiceProfessional writing tends to phrase information in affirmative voice. This doesn’t mean that everything you say should sound positive! The affirmative is a grammatical structure. It means saying what is, rather than what isn't.

EXAMPLE:

• Negative: He did not pause long after each question.

• Positive: He quickly responded to each question.

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The specificity of your language will reveal the depth and exactness of your knowledge on any subject.

EXAMPLES

• The jelly is from out of state. (Vague)

• The jelly is trucked in from California. (Clear. This is more specific and uses the same number of words)

• Cyndi Lauper says “Girls just wanna have fun” several times. (Vague, subjective)

• Cyndi Lauper says “Girls just wanna have fun” 16 times. (Clear. By stating an actual number instead of a generalization, you persuade the reader that you conducted detailed research, and the reader will reach his own conclusion as to the value of the number.)

• The sports shoe market has grown significantly over the past few years and so offers opportunities to companies that are prepared to advertise heavily in the industry trade press and life-style magazines. (Vague)

• By spending $1.1 million in single-page advertisements in the monthly trade publications Shoe Supplier and Footwear Trader over the next two years, we will build our retailer base by 10% and gain an extra $2.2 million in revenue. ~Gerry Richmond (Clear)

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Concrete, Specific Language

Qualifiers“Adjectives and adverbs are rich and good and fattening.

The main thing is not to overindulge.” –Ursula Le Guin

The strongest parts of speech are verbs and nouns! Write with them as much as possible. Adjectives are bad. “Bad” itself is an adjective. See what I mean? You can’t even figure out what I mean when I say they are bad. That’s because adjectives are subjective. If I said, however, that adjectives add unnecessary words and clutter your prose, then I’ve said something—using verbs and nouns.

Qualifiers are unspecific adjectives and adverbs which are presumptive references to people, circumstances, and objects. The reader must fill in the details or images and they carry no concrete image or direct detail. Base your writing on precision and exactness.

Examples of qualifiers include: very, clearly, extremely, really, particularly, absolutely, totally, certainly, beautiful, ugly, good, nice, unpleasant

Burn this idea into your brain: Use qualifiers only if they substantially change the meaning of a sentence.

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WORDS THAT

ME

“Helps” is frequently used as a helping verb rather than as a central verb, and it usually makes communication muddy.

EXAMPLE: • Her diction helps indicate Emily’s class.

(Wordy, vague. “Helps” whom? Her diction and what else indicates her class? Either her diction indicates her class or it doesn’t.)

• Her diction indicates Emily’s class. (More concise, assertive and clear.)

Avoid the word “helps” in conjunction with other verbs, unless you absolutely need it. In general, avoid using two verbs when you can use one.) Ideally use the word “help” or “aid” to mean directly assisting someone rather than meaning contributing to an action.

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Benefit

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“Benefit” is probably the most overusedword in business writing. It’s not much better than the word “good.” Instead of “benefit,” be specific.

EXAMPLE:• Adding lattes to the menu

will benefit the company. (Weak: The reader is left wondering what the benefitwill be. Employees will bemore alert?)

• Adding lattes to the menu will increase sales 5 percent. (Clear)

Also, using the word “benefit” along with a to-be verb makes it a camouflaged verb. If you are going to use this word, use it as a verb not as a noun: “will benefit” not “will be a benefit.”

Beliefs & Feelings

Your “beliefs” are probably something personal to you and they might have something to do with your ideas about the spiritual nature of the universe. They may not have much to do with business. So, when you want to assert something, do not label your assertions “beliefs.”

EXAMPLE:

• We believe adding French fries to the menu will increase sales 5 percent. (Weak. The reader is left wondering what makes you “believe” this.)

• Adding French fries to the menu will increase sales 5 percent. (Strong and more concise)

Students tend to use all kinds of feeling words in their writing. They even use the word "feel" a lot. Business is so not about feelings, and mentions of feelings take the writing from objective to subjective.

EXAMPLE:

• We feel that adding French fries to the menu will increase sales 5 percent.

• Adding French fries to the menu will increase sales 5 percent.

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DecideIt’s great to make a decision, but writers frequently use this verb when they mean a more specific action.

EXAMPLE:

• When I got my bonus, I decided to go shopping.(Unclear: The reader has to wonder if you actually went shopping, or if you just decided to.)

• When I got my bonus, I went shopping.(Doesn’t that sound better?)

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Display

I enjoy a great window display. In fact, when I hear the word “display,” I think ofthis lovely little shop in downtown Cary that changes its mannequin’s clothes weekly. I always look forward to getting caught at a red light in front of that shop so I can see the new clothes. Use this word when you mean something visual!

EXAMPLE:

• Marley displays the friction between socioeconomic classes in his report.(Not the right word.)

• Marley emphasizes (or indicates, exemplifies, stresses, etc.) the friction between socioeconomic classes in his report.(That's the right word.)

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Proof“Proof” is a no-nonsense word. I particularly like it when it is used in the fields of math, science, and law. In any other field, what constitutes “proof” is generally disputable. So, if you want to build credibility, rethink how you use this word.

EXAMPLE:

• Our survey proves that donuts willincrease sales 5 percent. (Can a survey of a limited sample on a particular topic prove anything? It may provide substantial evidence. It’s easy to avoid this credibility problem! Just pick a different word)

• Our survey indicates that donuts will increase sales 5 percent.

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Decent

Indecent:

Decent:

“Decent” does not mean something that isn’t fantastic, but isn’t all that bad either, like:

“Man, that sandwich was decent.”

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Perform

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Do this

Conduct an interview

Write a SWOT analysis

Do a background check

Execute a mail merge

Analyze a market

Restore

We serve you

The point is this: “Perform” is not wrong in the above contexts, but other verbs are more specific!

Don’t do this

Perform an interview

Perform a SWOT analysis

Perform a background check

Perform a mail merge

Perform market analysis

Perform a restore

We perform services

Ya.