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Managing Conflict With Confidence:7 Tips for Conflict Resolution
Jamie Notter
http://twitter.com/jamienotter
Texas Society of Association Executives
#newideas10September 21, 2010
Welcome!
Managing conflict...
Handouts
Giveaway!
CONFLICT
Theory:
CONFLICT IS GOOD
Practice:
AVOID CONFLICT LIKE THE PLAGUE
How do you feelabout conflict?
HATEDISLIKEOKAYLOVE
AvoidAvoid
Resolution
Self-Perpetuating Cycle
Conflict exists
We avoid either the
conflict or its resolution
Conflict gets worse!
We avoid more
BREAK THE CYCLE:7 Tips for Managing Conflict
3 Attitude Tips
3 Behavior Tips
1 Challenge
Tip #1:(attitude)
Know yourself.
Tip #1:Know yourself
I S T JE N F P
TJTPFJFP
Tip #1:Know yourself
Tip #2:(attitude)
Humans are emotional.Get over it.
Tip #2:Accept Emotions
Tip #2:Accept Emotions
Tip #3:(attitude)
Move toward the conflict.
Tip #3:Move toward conflict
Tip #4:(behavior)
Put learning first(ask questions).
Tip #4:Put learning first
converge
diverge
Tip #5:(behavior)
Value stories over “truth”(ladder of inference).
I take ACTIONS based on my beliefs
I adopt BELIEFS about the world
I draw CONCLUSIONS
I make ASSUMPTIONS based on the meanings I added
I add MEANING (cultural and personal)
I SELECT data from what I observe
Observable DATA and experiences
Source: Peter Senge, et al., The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, p. 243
Ladder of Inference
Tip #6:(behavior)
Feedback over judgment and
requests over demands
The Secret to Effective Feedback:
Behavior Impact
Judgment
Behavior-Impact Feedback Model
WHEN YOU [do something...] I [react this way...] BECAUSE [of these reasons...] SO I HAVE A REQUEST...
Behavior
Impact
Giving Feedback
• Exercise: Micromanager or Public Shame
• Read the scenario.• Discuss with your table.• Come up with feedback, using the
Model (you can use the four questions as a guide)
• One person prepare to report your answer.
Tip #7:(challenge)
Change you, not them.
Questions?
Jamie Notter
http://www.getmejamienotter.com
http://twitter.com/jamienotter
