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Week #03: Give examples of assertive or non-assertive behavior.

But first, some extra input on Parallel and Paradoxical Interventions. And some experimental training, on the job.

Question of the week: Assertiveness.

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Antipathetic or sympathetic responses

My job is terrible! I'm mistreated,

misjudged, Underpaid, …!!!

Pull yourself together,

stop whining & complaining!

I'm sorry to hear it. Perhaps

you need another job?

Person A. Person B.

A. is very excited & Upset. He's almost „not quite himself“. B. wants to calm him down and/or get out of the line of fire.

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Parallel responses

My job is terrible! I'm mistreated,

misjudged, Underpaid, …!!!

So your job is Terrible, they

mistreat & misjudge & underpay you?

That is horrible! How can you stand It! You should quit

right away!!!

…by parallel talking in a more neutral, mirroring way, or in a more parallel, exaggerating way, B. can help A. take a good look at himself.

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My job is terrible! I'm mistreated,

misjudged, Underpaid, …!!!

I've long wanted to say something about the state of

the restrooms In this place!

Okay – where do you buy your suits?

I think you look Great in black!

...by talking what from the outside may appear like nonsense, but is rather a calculated paradoxical intervention, A. Is even more effectively thrown off balance and cannot but leave his position.

The paradoxical response

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Experiment with assertive behavior this and next week.

First, identify your (typical) pattern.

For example:

• when you'd normally say 'no', say 'yes'.

• when you'd normally be aggressive, be assertive

• when you'd normally be manipulative, be assertive

• In all cases, observe how other people's response changes when you change your behavior.

Now it‘s your turn.

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Do one thing differently in your communications with others in your workplace and pay attention to the consequences.

Discuss what you've done with a third person and report on what you've learned.

Your assignment (1): Experiment.

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Give examples of assertive or non-assertive behavior. Take a good look around and see what's happening at your work place. Give a few examples of assertive behavior or of non-assertive behavior — in the latter case, please suggest what would have been more assertive.

These examples don't have to come from you personally; you may also showcase behaviors of others that you observe. But personal is always best.

Your assignment (2): Answer our question.