Influence skills. andrew urich

Andrew L. Urich, J.D.Puterbaugh Professor of

Ethics & Legal StudiesOklahoma State University

aurich@okstate.eduwww.andrewurich.com

405.744.8619

Influence SkillsThe Power of Influence

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Can I Influence You?

McDonald’s Coffee CaseIs $3 Million Reasonable?

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Idea #1The Facts Don’t Matter………

If No One Believes You

The FACTS don’t matter!– Politics– Marketing vs. Finance

Literally a matter of life and death.

Ability to influence is a key to success.

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Idea #2People Are Annoying

I like to be “right.”

I love to say “I told you so.”

I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare situations when it looks like I might be.

Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want the answer to be – and then make up the logical reasons to support my decision.

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Idea #3Conflict Is Underrated

Everyone wants to participate in decisions that affect them.

Dispersion of power causes conflict and growing pains.

Conflict identifies opportunities for improvement.

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Idea #4Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN

Use competence and commitment instead of position and status.

Team building and leadership are not based on authority.

We are influencing all of the time – positively or negatively.

The sign in PS 101 My daughter wants to go to Vegas Authority at Tinker Air Force Base

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Idea #5When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?”

It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.

My neighbor’s pictures Baby pictures The IT people

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The Advantage of Ethical Influence

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain

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Keys to Influence & Informal Negotiation

Strategy for Success: Plan in advance!

A little preparation saves the day.

It’s not always what you do say – it’s often what you don’t say.

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Keys to Influence Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning 1. Overcome communication blockers.

(First, get them to listen)

2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).

3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part)

4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.(Make them feel good about you)

5. Get control of information and misinformation.(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)

COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS

If They Aren’t Listening…

It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.

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Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question

a) U.S.D.A.

b) A.A.A.E.

c) OSU Ag College

d) K Fed

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Limit the Impact of Your Point of View

Are you impacted by experience? (Driving Rule of Relativity)

Are you assuming everyone should think like you?

Could you be wrong?

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Overcome the Bias of Others

What stereotypes might they have about you?

How can you outflank their bias?

People can only hear and incorporate things they understand.

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Learn to Open Closed Minds

Things are exactly as people choose to see them.

Is it important enough to care?

Value diversity.

Win/Win Opportunities

Managing the Impact of Self Interest.

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Factor in the Interests of Both Sides

How will the other person profit from your relationship?

Can you make the other person’s job easier?

Can you help the other person appear better in the eyes of his/her superiors?

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Win/WinMake the Pie BiggerInstead of Arguing About How to Slice It

Win/Win is an attitude.

– 62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy.

– Pay close attention to their concerns.

– Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to identify new options.

Become a Persuasive Manager

Be Likeable and Look the Part!

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Learn to Become EVEN More LikeableWe prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.

We like, trust, and believe people who like us.

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Learn to Become More Likeable It’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.

Well-Dressed People are Perceived As:

– More productive

– Responsible

– Personally acceptable

– More intelligent

– More honest

– Hardworking

– Taking their job seriously

– Being raised properly

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Learn to Become More Likeable

Consistently search for similarities between yourself and those with which you deal.

Develop the habit of giving sincere compliments.

Familiarity and contact enhance liking.

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Learn to Become More Likeable

Listening and taking an interest in the other person

Friendliness

Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in, eye contact

People like optimistic and enthusiastic people.

Avoid Conflict and Confrontations

Make Them Feel Good About You.

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You Will Never Prove Them Wrong

Have you ever done it before?

Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?

How would you feel if someone proved you wrong?

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Avoid Confrontations

What they say – has a lot to do with what you already said.

Their life experience is different than yours.

Focus on the issue – don’t make it personal.

Be very considerate.

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Keys to Influence Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning 1. Overcome communication blockers.

(First, get them to listen)

2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).

3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part)

4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.(Make them feel good about you)

5. Get control of information and misinformation.(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)

www.andrewurich.com

Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember

1. The most important thing – do they like you?

2. The other most important thing – break through communication blockers.

3. Authority is out – influence is in.

4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you to great success.

5. Look for Win/win opportunities.

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6. You have a point of view.

7. Do not underestimate self-interest.

8. You will never prove them wrong.

9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.

10. Good relationships provide power, security and success!

Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember

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Thank You

Please keep in touch.aurich@okstate.edu

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References

Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988. Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993. Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980 Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster,

1989. Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997. Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981. Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993. Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984. Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993. Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992. Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993. Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994. Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995. Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993. Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs,

N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989.