Chapter 2: Family Meanings & Messages

Chapter 2: Framework for Chapter 2: Framework for

Family Family CommunicationCommunication

The Communication ProcessThe Communication Process

Families create patterns through their interactions with one another.

These patterns:◦Create and predict family

relationships◦Are repeated within and

across generations.◦Include shared

communication codes.

Communication SkillsCommunication SkillsIndividuals develop their

communication skills within the family. In other words, your family teaches you how to communicate.

You create your own communication code.◦Both the general cultural language and the

specific familial communication patterns.◦May not be easily thought of or understood.

Because our family experience is so much a part of who and what we are, it is often taken for granted.

Communication CodeCommunication CodeWithin your family, you learn:

◦Acceptable ways of expressing intimacy and conflict.

◦How to relate to other family members.

◦How to make decisions.◦How to share information

inside the family.◦How to share information

outside the family.

Communicative Perspective on Communicative Perspective on FamiliesFamiliesFamilies are defined primarily

through their interaction rather than through their structure. (Whitechurch & Dickson, 1999)◦“Through their communicative practices,

parties construct their social reality of who their family is, and the meanings that organize it.” (Baxter & Braithwaite, 2002)

This belief places communication at the core of the family experience!

The Communication The Communication ProcessProcessCommunication may be viewed

as a symbolic, transactional process of creating and sharing meanings.

Let’s Break it Down….Let’s Break it Down….Communication is Symbolic: this

means that symbols are used to create meanings and messages.

These symbols can be:◦Verbal communication (words) – most

common◦Nonverbal communication (facial

expressions, eye contact, gestures, movement, posture, appearance, spatial distance)

◦Representative of things, feelings or ideas (kisses, special food, “inside” jokes/teasing)

These symbols must be mutually understood for the meanings to be shared.

Let’s Break it Down Let’s Break it Down Further…Further…Communication is transactional:

this means that when people communicate, they have a mutual impact on each other.◦In a relationship, a person is both

affected, and being affected by the other person simultaneously.

Communication is a transactional process: this simply means that it is constantly changing. ◦Communication is not static. ◦Communication develops over time.

Let’s Break it Down – Another Let’s Break it Down – Another Level…Level…This process involves creating

and sharing of meanings.◦Meanings: visions of the social and

physical reality as well as values, beliefs and attitudes.

Communication involves the negotiation of shared meanings. Without shared meanings, confusion and misunderstanding will most likely occur.

Meanings and MessagesMeanings and MessagesOne of the primary tasks of families

is “meaning making.” This serves to create a relational or “world-view” that characterizes the family system as a whole.

What characterizes your family system? Are these shared meanings? How were these shared/agreed upon within your family?

Development of MeaningsDevelopment of MeaningsYour views of the world are a result

of your perceptual filter systems.◦Each person has lenses (filters).

This is how s/he views the world. It is based on things like age, race, gender, religion, culture, family order, family history.

Meanings emerge as information passes through a person’s filter system.

Your Filter SystemsYour Filter SystemsFirst Set:

Human Sensory Systems◦Sight, Sound, Touch,

Taste and Smell

Next Set: Individual Social System ◦The way a person uses

language; his/her accepted way of viewing things; cultural and class status

Your Filter SystemsYour Filter SystemsThird Set

A person shares common meanings with those around him/her.

Development of MeaningsDevelopment of MeaningsWhile culture affects perceptions

and meanings, the immediate groups to which one belongs exert a strong influence on the individual’s perceptual set (filters).

In addition, specific constraints and experiences can influence a person’s meaning. ◦For example: siblings can experience

family life very differently (based on specific events and people).

MetacommunicationMetacommunicationCommunicating about

communication!

In families, allows for members to state their needs, clarify any confusion and plan new and more constructive ways of relating to one another.

Communication Patterns/Family Communication Patterns/Family FunctionsFunctionsEach family has its own unique

communication patterns.◦Everyday ways of living◦How decisions are made◦How feelings are shared◦How conflict is handled

In other words, communication provides form and content to a family’s life

A Family’s Collective A Family’s Collective IdentityIdentityA family’s collective identity is

made up of 2 primary family functions and 4 supporting functions that affect (and are affected by) its communication.

A Family’s Collective A Family’s Collective IdentityIdentity2 Primary Functions:

◦Family Cohesion◦Family Adaptability

4 Supporting Functions:◦Establish a satisfactory congruence of

images.◦Evolve models of interaction into central

family themes.◦Establish the boundaries of the family’s

world experience◦Deal with significant biosocial issues of

family life, such as gender, age, power and roles.

Family CohesionFamily CohesionThe emotional bonding that

family members have towards one another.

Includes concepts of:◦Boundaries◦Coalitions◦Recreation◦Interests◦Time ◦Space◦Friends◦Decision-Making

4 Levels of Cohesion4 Levels of CohesionThere are 4 levels of cohesion:

(Carnes, 1989)◦Disengaged: family members maintain

extreme separateness and little family loyalty.

◦Separated: family members experience emotional independence with some joint involvement.

◦Connected: family members strive for emotional closeness, loyalty, and joint involvement with some individuality.

◦Enmeshed: family members experience extreme closeness, loyalty and almost no individuality.

Cohesion ContinuumCohesion ContinuumThrough communication, family

members are able to develop and maintain or change their patterns of cohesion.

There are widely varying cultural norms for moderate or extremes of cohesion. Disengaged

Enmeshed Families Cohesion Families Low High

Family Adaptability Family Adaptability (Flexibility)(Flexibility)The amount of change in a

family’s leadership, role relationships and relations by rules.

How family systems manage stability and change.

4 Levels of Adaptability4 Levels of AdaptabilityThere are four levels of adaptability

(change):◦Rigid: family members operate under

autocratic decision-making styles and strict roles and rules.

◦Structured: family members experience authoritarian and some equalitarian leadership and stable roles and rules.

◦Flexible: family members experience negotiation and decision-making and easily changes roles and rules.

◦Chaotic: family members have nonexistent leadership, confused decision-making and varied rules and roles.

Adaptability ContinuumAdaptability ContinuumEach human system has both

stability-promoting processes and change-promoting processes.

Rigid Chaotic Families Adaptability Families

Low High

AdaptabilityAdaptabilityFamily systems constantly

restructure themselves as they pass through predictable developmental stages.◦Examples:

getting married, having children, “launching” children, retirement, etc

AdaptabilityAdaptabilityThrough communication, families make

it clear to their members how much adaptation (change) is allowed, while regulating the adaptive behaviors of their members and the system as a whole.

When there is a balance between change & stability within families, there will be:◦Shared leadership * Successful negotiation◦Open rule making/sharing * Role sharing

Family Cohesion-Adaptability Family Cohesion-Adaptability AxesAxesCohesion and adaptability

combine to create the 2 major functions that family members continuously manage.

Low

Enmeshed

High

Low

High

Cohesion

Chaotic

Disengaged

Disengaged

Cohesion

Cohesion & AdaptabilityCohesion & AdaptabilityMost well-functioning families are

found short of the extremes, except when they are under high levels of stress.

Families shift from one point to another on the axis during different stages of development.

4 Supporting Functions4 Supporting FunctionsIn addition to the primary

functions of cohesion and adaptability, there are additional family functions (supporting functions) that help when understanding family interaction.

1. Family Images1. Family ImagesFamily images are often metaphors

for the family. An image of one’s family embodies

what is expected from it, what is given to it, and how important it is. ◦Female Metaphors: emphasize

team/group, nature and healing/nourishment.

◦Male Metaphors: emphasize nature, particularly animals and foundational things such as brick walls or concrete structures.

““My family is a team…”My family is a team…”“…with my dad as a player coach. We all work together for the survival of our team, and we all contribute. Each one of us has strengths and weaknesses, yet there is always that force driving us to achieve more together. As the player-coach, my dad as the responsibility of overseeing our performances.”

““My family lives inside a medicine My family lives inside a medicine chest.”chest.”“Dad is the super-size bandaid – strong & powerful - but not always effective in a crisis.Mom is the middle-size tweezer, which picks and pokes and pinches.David is the single small aspirin on the third shelf, sometimes ignored.Muffin, the sheep dog, is a round cotton ball, stained and dirty, that pops off the shelf and bounces in my way as I open the door.And I am the wood and glue which hold us all together with my love.”

““Fifth of July”Fifth of July”My family is an expired firecrackerset off by the blowtorch of divorce. We lay scattered in many directions.My father is the wick, badly burntbut still glowing softly.My mother is the blackened paper fluttering down, blowing this way and that, unsure where to land.My sister is the fallen, colorful parachute, lying in a tangled knot, unable to see the beauty she holds.My brother is the fresh, untouched powder that was protected from the flame. And I, I am the singed, outside papers, curled away from everything, silently cursing the blowtorch.

2. Family Themes2. Family ThemesFamily themes represent a

fundamental view of reality and a way of dealing with this view.

Through its theme, a family responds to the questions:◦Who are we? ◦What do we do about it?◦How do we invest our energies?

2. Themes (continued)2. Themes (continued)Themes are directly related to family

actions. One can “figure out” a family’s theme by simply watching its actions.

Family themes may be complex and subtle, and not obvious at first glance.

It is important to identify a family’s main theme(s) to fully understand the meanings and communication behavior of its members.

3. Boundaries3. Boundaries All families establish some

boundaries as they restrict their members from encountering certain physical and psychological forces.

Most often, family boundaries regulate access to people, places, ideas and values.

3. Boundaries (continued)3. Boundaries (continued)Some family boundaries are highly

permeable (or flexible) and allow movement across them. Others resist movement and are rigid and inflexible.

External Boundaries: distinguish members from the rest of the world

Internal Boundaries: keep family members appropriately in relationship to one another.

4. Biosocial Issues4. Biosocial IssuesFamilies have several biosocial

issues:◦Male & female identity◦Authority & power◦Shaping and influencing children◦Children’s rights

The development of images, themes, boundaries and responses to these biosocial issues interacts with the functions of cohesion & adaptability.

Family of Origin InfluencesFamily of Origin InfluencesFamily of origin refers to the

family (or families) in which a person is raised

Is generally thought to be the earliest and most powerful source of influence on one’s personality

Can be depicted (and understood) through the use of genograms.

Family of Origin = Family of Origin = BlueprintBlueprintFamilies of origin provide

blueprints for the communication of future generations.

Families are Like Families are Like Snowflakes…Snowflakes…“When you think about it, family life is extremely complex and most of us just go through the motions everyday without any reflection. I usually take for granted that most families are similar to mine. However, the more I look carefully at other family systems, the more aware I am of the differences. Perhaps families are like snowflakes, no two are ever exactly alike.”