Anger management skills 13

Anger Anger ManagementManagement

SkillsSkills

Does everybody experience Does everybody experience anger?anger?

Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to you. And that matters, because how is up to you. And that matters, because how you act leads to consequences.you act leads to consequences.

Objectives:Objectives:

1. Identify your anger triggers1. Identify your anger triggers 2. Know your anger cues2. Know your anger cues 3. Know your anger style3. Know your anger style 4. Deal with your anger effectively4. Deal with your anger effectively

TRIGGERSTRIGGERSWhat bugs you?What bugs you?

Something that happens Something that happens that makes you angrythat makes you angry

What triggers you does not What triggers you does not always trigger someone always trigger someone else.else.

1. You have the highest average on 1. You have the highest average on social studies tests, but when social studies tests, but when report cards are handed out, the report cards are handed out, the teacher gives someone else a teacher gives someone else a higher grade than you because he higher grade than you because he participates in class more than you participates in class more than you do.do.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry

b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry

c.c. very angryvery angry

2. Your brother bumps your 2. Your brother bumps your arm while you reach for arm while you reach for something at the dinner table, something at the dinner table, and you knock over a pitcher. and you knock over a pitcher. The pitcher breaks and you get The pitcher breaks and you get blamed.blamed.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

3. Your best friend has a 3. Your best friend has a secret that she tells to secret that she tells to two other friends but not two other friends but not to you.to you.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry

b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry

c.c. very angryvery angry

4. A classmate spills juice 4. A classmate spills juice on your homework and on your homework and the teacher says it’s too the teacher says it’s too sloppy to hand in.sloppy to hand in.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry

b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry

c.c. very angryvery angry

5. One of your friends is 5. One of your friends is so bossy that she insists so bossy that she insists on telling you who to on telling you who to invite to invite to your your birthday birthday party.party.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

6. A kid in the park 6. A kid in the park insults your best friend.insults your best friend.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

7. Someone in your class 7. Someone in your class spreads a rumor about spreads a rumor about you.you.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

8. Your older sister keeps 8. Your older sister keeps interrupting you when interrupting you when you’re trying to tell your you’re trying to tell your mom something.mom something.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

9. You tell a friend a 9. You tell a friend a secret and then learn he secret and then learn he has told it to others.has told it to others.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

10. You let your brother 10. You let your brother borrow your new digital borrow your new digital watch, and thewatch, and thenext day he doesn’t let next day he doesn’t let you use his video game.you use his video game.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

11. At the pizza place, you 11. At the pizza place, you have to wait ten minutes have to wait ten minutes before your order is taken before your order is taken because the man behind the because the man behind the counter has served two people counter has served two people who came in after you.who came in after you.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry c.c. very angryvery angry

12. You’re crossing the 12. You’re crossing the street and a car honks at street and a car honks at you as if you’ve done you as if you’ve done something wrong, but something wrong, but you have the right of you have the right of way.way.

a.a. not at all angry not at all angry

b.b. somewhat angry somewhat angry

c.c. very angryvery angry

MAKE A LISTMAKE A LIST

If you know your If you know your anger triggers, then anger triggers, then you can either:you can either:

1. Try to avoid them1. Try to avoid them 2. Learn how to 2. Learn how to

deal with them.deal with them.

ANGER CUESANGER CUES

Your body Your body sends you sends you

signals, signals, when when you’re you’re getting getting angry.angry.

Clenched fistLoud voice

Sweat

Red face

Racing & pounding heartbeat

Upset stomach

Complete the ChecklistComplete the Checklist

What are your anger cues?What are your anger cues?

What’s your anger style?What’s your anger style?

When your anger is triggered, you’re When your anger is triggered, you’re going to react in some way. The way you going to react in some way. The way you react is called your ANGER STYLE.react is called your ANGER STYLE.

Acting Out

Dumping

Burying

ACTING OUTACTING OUT Easiest to recognizeEasiest to recognize It’s when you strike out It’s when you strike out

at the person you are at the person you are mad at: physically or mad at: physically or verbally.verbally.

YOU’RE OUT OF YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL!!!!CONTROL!!!!

ConsequencesConsequences

You get in troubleYou get in troubleProblem is not solvedProblem is not solved

DUMPINGDUMPINGDISPLACED ANGERDISPLACED ANGER

Shifting your feelings to Shifting your feelings to someone you feel it’s safe someone you feel it’s safe to be mad at.to be mad at.

Ex. Guy gets mad at his Ex. Guy gets mad at his boss, comes home & boss, comes home & yells at his wife, who yells yells at his wife, who yells at the kids, who kick the at the kids, who kick the dog!!dog!!

ConsequencesConsequences

You hurt innocent peopleYou hurt innocent people Problem is not solvedProblem is not solved

BURYING BURYING ((ignoringignoring))

When you hold your anger down inside When you hold your anger down inside yourself because you think it isn’t nice to yourself because you think it isn’t nice to have those feelings.have those feelings.

Denying your angry isn’t dealing with it.Denying your angry isn’t dealing with it. It can come out in other ways: It can come out in other ways:

headaches, stomachaches, anxious, headaches, stomachaches, anxious, depresseddepressed

One day you might explode!!One day you might explode!!

ConsequencesConsequences

You hurt yourselfYou hurt yourself You may hurt others when you You may hurt others when you

EXPLODEEXPLODE Problem is not solvedProblem is not solved

DEALING WITH DEALING WITH ANGERANGER

When you find yourself angry, When you find yourself angry, REMEMBERREMEMBER the only behavior the only behavior you can manage is YOUR own!!!you can manage is YOUR own!!!

So, pay attention to your anger So, pay attention to your anger cues.cues.

And, if you feel like you’re going And, if you feel like you’re going to lose it…to lose it…

Get a grip!!!Get a grip!!!

1. Cool off, stay calm.1. Cool off, stay calm. Walk awayWalk away Count to 10Count to 10

Take deep breathsTake deep breaths Use calming self-talk: “I can handle this. Use calming self-talk: “I can handle this.

Chill. It’s not as bad as it seems.”Chill. It’s not as bad as it seems.” Imagine you are in a peaceful place.Imagine you are in a peaceful place.

2. Give yourself some time to sort things out.2. Give yourself some time to sort things out.

Write the problem down on paper.Write the problem down on paper.

Think it through. Ask yourself: what really happened? Think it through. Ask yourself: what really happened? How was I triggered? What were my cues. How was I triggered? What were my cues.

Talk it over with a friend or adult you trust.Talk it over with a friend or adult you trust.

3. Turn your angry energy into a change for 3. Turn your angry energy into a change for the better.the better.

Tell the person making you angry how you feel. Channel your angry energy into a physical

activity. Try to solve the problem. Try to accept situations you can’t change.

EVERYBODY GETS EVERYBODY GETS ANGRYANGRY

That’s just how it is.That’s just how it is. The difference comes in what you do The difference comes in what you do

about it.about it.

SO: GET A GRIP!!!