Happy family 2

Cross Cultural Definition of a Healthy and Happy Family健康和幸福家庭的文化内涵

Creating a Healthy and Happy Family

营造一个健康和幸福的家庭

The Healthy Family 健康家庭You can have你能够被信任

The Healthy Family 健康家庭You can manage你能够处理自己的情绪

The Healthy Family 健康家庭

You can give and receive你能够获得安慰和安慰别人

HEALTHY FAMILY SYSTEM 健康家庭的观念

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Significance ofValues

Positive Identity 积极肯定的自我观Performance 表现

Affection 关爱

价值观的重要性

重要性百分比

 Profile of a Healthy Family健康家庭的概况

• Peaceful, safe environment• 平和安全的气氛• Words and emotions in harmony• 和睦的语言和情绪• Do not understand a hurting world sometimes 有时对充满伤害的世界不理解

Little Hope

有时能得到信任

Performance Only Family Issues只注重表现的家庭

Are Mismanaged

情绪经常处理不当

Performance Based Family Issues注重表现的家庭出现的问题

Performance-based Family

注重表现的家庭

Poor at Giving Comfort不善于给予安慰

 Profile of a Performance Based Family注重表现的家庭的概况

• Affection 关爱• Conditional love 有条件的爱• Limited relational skills• 有限的交往技巧• Confusion from inconsistent messages• 传达的信息前后不一致，带来迷惑

Symptom of a Performance Based Family怎样是注重表现的家庭

Motivated By被这些心理所驱

使：

Love is earned (Performance

Driven)爱是赚取来的（靠表现）

Symptom of a Performance Based Family怎样是注重表现的家庭

Family Background Comparison 不同家庭观念的比

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Healthy健康 Performance-based

只注重表现

PositiveIdentity积极的身份Performance表现

Affection关爱

重要性百分比

Is only suspicion只有怀疑，没有信任

The Unhealthy Family Issues

不健康家庭的问题

The Unhealthy Family Issues

不健康家庭的问题

Are suppressed情绪被压抑

The Family Issues 家庭问题

Not Given没有安慰

 Profile of an Unhealthy Family不健康家庭的概况

• Blind loyalty 信任被理解为盲目的忠诚• Unsafe & painful 又不安全又痛苦• Everything Opposite 看所有事情都黑白颠倒了• Have deep sympathy 对人有同情心• Most Compulsive 最无法自制

 Symptom of an Unhealthy Family 怎样的家庭是不健康家庭

The family members will usually respond under adult stresses like they were still back in the home.家庭成员面对成年人的压力时，表现得就像小时候自己在家中一样。

 Symptom of an Unhealthy Family 怎样的家庭是不健康家庭

Family Background Comparison 家庭环境比较

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健康家庭 不健康家庭

Positive Self-image 积极肯定的自我观Performance 表现

Affection 关爱

重要价值百分比

Creating a Healthy Family

营造一个健康的家庭

The Age of Emotions 情感成熟的年纪

Healthy Parents Model Skills健康的父母以榜样教导人际关系

SKILL OF GIVING AND RECEIVING AFFECTION如何给予和接受关爱的示范

Skill of Giving Comfort如何安慰人

• Comfort is life changing 安慰改变人的生命

• Comfort is not earned or deserved

安慰既不能赚得也不是本应该的

• Comfort Matches the child’s emotions (feels those emotions)

• 安慰就是同情感受他们的感受

More Skills更多技巧

• Experiencing and Managing Emotions

体验并处理情绪• Communication Skills

沟通的技巧• Conflict Resolution

矛盾的消转• Negotiation Skills

磋商和交涉的技巧

Identifying Unhealthy Symptoms

辨别不健康家庭环境的影响

IDENTIFYINGUNHEALTHY SYMPTOMS 辨别不健康家庭环境的影响

1. DEFENSES 防备人2. INTERNAL RESULTS 内心所受的影响3. RELATIONAL RESULTS Lack of Happiness Skills 人际关系所受的影响 缺乏快乐技巧

DEFENSES: SECLUSION防备人：隔离自守

Relational isolation in Childhood

童年时孤单无助“Arms Length” Adult Approach

成年后与人保持距离

OTHER DEFENSES其它防备人的措施

• Lying 说谎• Manipulation 操控别

人• Indirect

Communication• 说话转弯抹角

OTHER DEFENSES其它防备人的措施

Preoccupation埋头于人际关系以外的东西• Work, Grades 工作、学习成绩• Sex, TV, Violence 性、电视、暴力

OTHER DEFENSES其它防备人的措施

埋头其它 :• Gambling 赌博• Overeating 暴

食

OTHER DEFENSES其它防备人的措施

埋头其它：• Smoking 吸烟• Alcoholism 酗

酒• Drugs 吸毒

INTERNAL RESULTS内心所受的影响

SELF-BLAME自责

“SHAME”

轻看自己CREATION OF A

FALSE SELF产生了错误的自我看法

Picture Created Under Stress

外表还好，里面压力很大

OTHER INTERNAL RESULTS其它内心所受到的影响

REPRESSION OF EMOTION

压抑情感SUSPICION 多疑

RELATIONAL RESULTS人际关系所受到的影响

• LACK OF HAPPINESS SKILLS缺乏得到快乐的技巧

• POOR SKILLS AT EXPRESSING EMOTIONS

• 不善表达情感

RELATIONAL RESULTS人际关系上所受的影响

• POOR PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS

• 不善于解决问题• “COMMUNICATION

SOLVES NOTHING” MENTALITY

• “ 沟通也无济于事”的心态