Embracing conflict january 9 2015 ulead

January 9th, 2015 ULEAD.

Building Teams By

Embracing Conflict

Write out what is the most impacting memory

that you have from your family of origin

(both positive & negative) and explain why…

Systemically: Ontological

Who You Are – “BEING” before “DOING”

Imago DeiPeople are valued and they are the one

commodity that has the power to change!

Eastern:Integration of the Cognitive, Emotional & Spiritual

Approach: Transformational

Western:

Platonic-Divided

Approach: Informational

Cultural / Historical

SYSTEMS APPROACH TO LEADERSHIP

“We Teach What We Know, But We Reproduce Who We Are!”

Team Conflict:

Necessary/Unnecessary Disturbance

Thinking Systemically is Key to Team Leadership

Edwin Friedman’s Theory: By applying a family systems theory to leadership, Friedman argues that leaders lead in a systemic environment in which the elements (i.e. individuals, their relationships, vision, causes, values, etc.) are all interrelated and interconnected.

Five Elements of Chronic-Anxiety

• Reactive–the vicious cycle of intense emotional reactions of each member to events and to one another

• Herders–a process thru which the forces for togetherness triumph over the forces for individuality and move everyone to adapt to the least mature members

• Blame displacers–an emotional state in which members focus on forces that have victimized them rather than taking responsibility for their own being and destiny

• Quick-fixers–members have a low-threshold for pain and thus constantly seek symptom relief rather than fundamental change.

• Lacking well-differentiated leaders–a failure of nerve in leaders that both stems from and contributes to the first four characteristics.

Crucial Issue

A system will either benefit or suffer from the way the leader is present because the functioning of the leader (or leaders) affects the emotional processes inherent in all relational systems.

Characteristics of a Differentiated Leader

• HAVING CLARITY ABOUT ONE’S OWN LIFE PRINCIPLES, VISION AND GOALS

• BEING ABLE TO REMAIN CALM IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHER’S ANXIETY AND REACTIVITY

• BEING SEPARATE WHILE BEING CONNECTED (WHAT I WILL BE DISCUSSING AT THE

• MAINTAINING A NON-ANXIOUS AND SOMETIMES CHALLENGING PRESENCE

• MANAGING ONE’S OWN REACTIVITY TO THE AUTOMATIC REACTIVITY OF OTHERS

• TAKING A NON-REACTIVE STANCE THAT RISKS DISPLEASING OTHERS & OVER- FUNCTIONING

Over- functioning Kills Team Leader’s

• ADVICE-GIVING• DOING THINGS FOR OTHERS THAT THEY CAN DO

THEMSELVES• WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE• FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS: KNOWING

WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM• TALKING MORE THAN LISTENING• HAVING GOALS FOR OTHERS THAT THEY DO NOT

HAVE FOR THEMSELVES• EXPERIENCING PERIODIC, SUDDEN “BURNOUT

A Functional Definition of Leadership

• LEADERSHIP IS AN EMOTIONAL PROCESS RATHER THAN A COGNITIVE PHENOMENON.

• LEADERSHIP IS MORE THE CLARITY OF SELF THAN IT IS TECHNIQUE OR DATA.

• LEADERSHIP IS A DANCE BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO ARE SHAPING AND BEING SHAPED BY EACH OTHER.

Individual charismas compliment one another toward a common purpose/goal

Team members are committed to each other — providing support for one another and holding each other accountableA

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How Teams Form

Unhealthy conflict stems from dysfunction

Stylize, edit, and animate your media

Bayside Covenant Agreement

We are committed to having a prayerful attitude and intentionally following through on our commitments to others. We are committed to unselfishly treat others with mercy, grace, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. We are committed to maintaining a healthy team atmosphere, putting the team needs first, remaining teachable and open to counseling. We are committed to living in peace, speaking the truth in love, and actively seek to resolve conflicts.

Bayside Covenant Agreement

We are committed to affirming the members of the team both publicly and privately. We are committed to exercise discernment which is the ability to step-back, reflect, and listen in order to nurture a wider awareness. We are committed to acting in a way that honors God and the team. We are committed to sharing God’s unique spiritual gifts with joy and thanksgiving with the team.