Persuading complaining etc

Step Up American Pragmatics and CultureSpring 2012Ms. Candice Quinones

PERSUADING, COMPLAINING,

DEMANDING, APOLOGIZING, AND

INTERRUPTING

Helping them to see it your way

PERSUADING

1 : to cause (someone) to do something by asking, arguing, or giving reasons

2 : to cause (someone) to believe something : convince

Source: Merriam Webster’s Learners Dictionary (Online)

DEFINITION: PERSUADE

For persuasion to be truly effective, according to Aristotle, three elements must be present: Trust (Ethos) –Reputation, Character, Credibility

Logic (Logos) –Evidence, Reason Emotions (Pathos) –Values, Goals, Interests, Beliefs

EFFECTIVE PERSUASION

Trust (Ethos). Trust is the expectancy of people that they

can rely on your word. It can be granted automatically based on your

job title, your credentials, or your reputation, or built through integrity and consistency in relationships.

Logic (Logos). Your point must make perfect sense.Emotion (Pathos). Your argument must appeal to the emotional

man – to his or her imagination, and thus to the emotions.

PREREQUISITES OF PERSUASION

Source: the quality and credibility of sourceMessage: what, when and how you say;

repeat your key pointsMedium: use the right channel to reach your

audiencePublic: you must know your audienceEff ect: Did the persuaded audience do what

you wanted it to do?

ELEMENTS OF PERSUASION

Attention: Get their attentionNeed: Trigger a need that the listener has.

A stimulated need = the person seeking a solution.

Satisfaction: Propose a way to meet and satisfy the need that you have just stimulated.

Visualization: Help them visualize the solution in place.

Action: Prompt the person into implementing the solution that you proposed.

MONROE’S MOTIVATED SEQUENCE

Human Needs

PERSUASION S.P.I.C.E

S – SimplicityP – Perceived Self-InterestI – IncongruityC – ConfidenceE – Empathy

If you want somebody to remember something, make it simple.

If you want to reinforce a point, say things in threes.

Use repetition.

SIMPLICITY

People do things that they think are in their own interest. If you can convince other people that an idea is

good for them, then they will likely go along with it.

Always remember WIIFM and WAMI. WIIFM: 'What's In It For Me'. WAMI : 'What's Against My Interests'.

PERCEIVED SELF-INTEREST

Incongruous things do not fit together. When things are not as they 'should' be, we become

confused. We seek any solution, including self-deception, to

resolve our discomfort. We will see what we want to see rather than what is

actually there. We may pay a lot of attention to the incongruity, and

miss all kinds of other things going on, or ignore the incongruity completely as we are unable to process it.

In persuasion, this means the confused person may pay attention to incongruity and miss things you want them to miss.

INCONGRUITY

Be assertive.Act big and people will assume you are big.If you speak like you know what you are

saying, then it is amazing what you can get away with.

CONFIDENCE

Definition: ’Feeling what others feel' Showing empathy gains trust which

increases your chance of persuading.

Things to do:Know what the other person is feeling.

Show that you care.

EMPATHY

1. Discover2. Easy3. Good4. Save 5. Guaranteed6. Proven7. Money8. Safe

9. New10.Results11.Own12.Free13.Freedom14.Health15.Best16.Investment

THE 16 MOST PERSUASIVE WORDS

When something is wrong

COMPLAINING

1: to say or write that you are unhappy, sick, uncomfortable, etc., or that you do not like something

2: to say (something that expresses annoyance or unhappiness)

Source: Merriam Webster Learner’s Dictionary (Online)

DEFINITION: COMPLAIN

Complaining and GrammarComplaining in person

State your case – tell them what was wrong Be clear about what you would like them to do and when

you want it done. Stay calm. Be assertive but not aggressive.

Complaining over the phone Record what was said and who you spoke to in writing. Keep records of when you called.

How To Complain in a Restaurant

COMPLAINING

Getting what you want

DEMANDING

1 : to say in a forceful way that something must be done or given to you : to say that you have a right to (something)

2 : to say or ask (something) in a very forceful way

3 : to require (something)

Source: Merriam Webster Learner’s Dictionary (Online)

DEFINITION: DEMAND

Use 'Can you tell me why ' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is an indirect question and requires a question mark (?).

Use 'I don't understand why ' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is a statement and does NOT require a question mark (?)

Use 'Can you explain why ' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is an indirect question and requires a question mark (?).

Use 'Why is it that' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is an indirect question and requires a question mark (?).

DEMANDING EXPLANATIONS

Use 'How come' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is an indirect question and requires a question

mark (?).

Use 'Does this mean (that)' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is an indirect question and requires a question

mark (?).

Use 'Do you (really) expect me to believe (that)' a full clause in the positive statement form (S V O). Notice that this is an indirect question and requires a question

mark (?).

DEMANDING EXPLANATIONS

“I’m sorry”APOLOGIZING

To express regret for doing or saying something wrong : to give or make an apology

Source: Merriam Webster’s Learners Dictionary (Online)

DEFINITION: APOLOGIZE

I'm very sorry for / that ...

I apologize if I ...

I apologize for (+ ing form of verb)

Please forgive me for …

I didn’t mean to …

EXPRESSIONS

Apology Take responsibility and say you are sorry. Ex. I am sorry that I ate your apple.

Reason Tell them why you did what you did (if

appropriate). Ex. It was on my desk, and I didn’t know it

belonged to you.Promise

Promise you will try not to do it again. Ex. Next time, I will ask before eating something.

FORMULA FOR APOLOGIES

Butting in…INTERRUPTING

1 : to ask questions or say things while another person is speaking : to do or say something that causes someone to stop speaking [+ obj]

2 [+ obj] : to cause (something) to stop happening for a time

3 [+ obj] : to cause (something) to not be even or continuous : to change or stop the sameness or smoothness of (something)

DEFINITION: INTERRUPT

When the person has finished saying what they have to say

When the person speaking slows downWhen the speaker pausesWhen they send non-verbal signals that they

are finishing or are ready for interruption.When the speaker has had a fair amount of

time to speak.

WHEN TO INTERRUPT

Agreement Interrupt: Enthusiastically agree.Body Language Interrupt: Non-verbal signal

intent to butt in.Clarification Interrupt: Ask for clarification.

Check you understand.Continuation Interrupt: Pick up where they

might leave off.Disagreement Interrupt: Disagree with what is

said.Disinterest Interrupt: Appear disinterested in

what they say.

WAYS TO INTERRUPT

Distraction Interrupt: Become distracted by something else.

Encouragement Interrupt: Keep them talking.External Interrupt: Use a third party to

interrupt.Identity Interrupt: Prod the identity of the

person.Loudmouth Interrupt: Talk more loudly than

the other person.Motormouth Interrupt: Jump in and talk

quickly.

WAYS TO INTERRUPT

Question Interrupt: Just ask them a question.

Power Interrupt: Use your power to grab

control.

Permission Interrupt: Ask if you can interrupt.

Touch Interrupt: Touch them gently as you

interrupt.

'Yes, and' Interrupt: Say 'Yes, and,...'

'Yes, but' Interrupt: Say 'Yes, but...’

WAYS TO INTERRUPT

Time to PracticeQUESTIONS?