WHY FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL IF WE CAN COLLABORATE FOR SUCCESS?/media/executive-education/... ·...

WHY FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL IF WE CAN COLLABORATE FOR SUCCESS?

BARNEY JORDAAN

What does the word CONFLICT remind you of?

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QUIZCONFLICT AS AN OYSTER

Oysters and conflict have something in common: a little irritation can produce a thing of beauty.

Thompson, Butkus & Boudreau (2016) ’The Right Kind of Conflict Leads to Better Products’ HBR

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Our typical responses to conflict

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YET WE HAVE RANGE OF PROCESS OPTIONS

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Amicable Adversarial

Dialogue Negotiation FacilitationMediation Others decide

Power

Control over process & outcome

Loss of control over process, outcome or both

Control over outcome

Understanding conflict

‘Conflict’ arises when one person feels that his / herneeds are not being recognised or met by another.

It may be real, or perceived, visible or hidden

DEFINITION

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3 DIMENSIONS ARE ALWAYS PRESENT

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PROBLEM

PEOPLE

PROCESS

Use behaviours that promote amicable resolution

Manage the emotions and interpersonal issues

Focus on the underlying concerns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQmdoK_ZfY

EASIER SAID THAN DONE …

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THE CONFLICT PATH

Causes

Mitigators Aggravators

Positive outcomes Negative outcomes

Conflict and the brain

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HERE’S THE CULPRIT

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System 2

System1

SYSTEMS 1 & 2

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SYSTEM 1

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black blue grey red

pink brown purple

orange white yellow red

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SYSTEM 2: WELCOME TO SLOW THINKING

black blue grey red

pink brown purple

orange white yellow red

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StopListenObserveWise response

‘SLOW’

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A better way of dealing with differences

EXERCISE

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HOW DO WE GET FROM THIS….

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TO THIS?

WE NEED TO DEVELOP A DIFFERENT ‘MENTAL MODEL’ OR ‘MINDSET’ ABOUT CONFLICT

Assumptions- Conflict- People- Problem- Process

Strategy Behaviour Results

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Develop a definition of conflict that is entirely positive,

e.g.: ‘Conflict is an opportunity to …’

CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION OF CONFLICTREDEFINING CONFLICT

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Nothing great is achieved without some conflict. Conflict sharpens the senses; it invites full engagement in solving importan

Enrique Conterno, Senior Vice President, Lilly Diabetes, quoted in Thompson et al, (2016) ’The Right Kind of Conflict Leads tHBR

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What to do when conflict happens

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1. PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!

UNDERSTAND YOUR CONFLICT PROFILE

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C O O P E R A T I V E N E S S high

high

low

low

Competing / Dominating

Joint Problem-solving

AvoidingAccommodating /

Obliging

Source: Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument

2. BE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR CONFLICT STYLE & ADAPT IF NECESSARY

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3. PAY ATTENTION TO ALL 3 DIMENSIONS

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PROBLEM

PEOPLE

PROCESSFocus on the underlying concerns

Use behaviours that promote amicable resolution

Manage the emotions and interpersonal issues

4. SLOW DOWN: ACTIVATE THE ‘PAUSE’ BUTTON!

Enquire

Dialogue

Stimulus

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• Ask questions (especially open-ended ones)

• Empathise

• Be prepared to apologise if necessary

• Separate the person from the problem

• Listen in a way that will encourage them to talk

(‘active listening)

• Talk in a way that will encourage them to listen

(‘active talking’)

5. ADOPT POSITIVE BEHAVIOURS

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6. TAKE THEIR PERSPECTIVE

If you want to

change their minds,

you have to know

where their minds

are …

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7. INVEST IN POST CONFLICT RECONCILIATION

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• Stop, breathe, and think

• Acknowledge the conflict

• Buy some time to prepare

• Take it somewhere else

• Keep it respectful

IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO PREPARE

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Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

Max Lucado

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REMEMBER ….

Don’t sacrifice tomorrow to win yesterday

John Zinsser

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YET, WHATEVER YOU DO…..

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