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WALKING THIS VALLEY- Tucson Chapter Vol. 37 No. 2 March-April 2019
Upcoming Events:
Spring
Event
Ice Cream
Social, Saturday,
April 6, 2-4pm.
Join us to build
an ice cream
sundae and to
build
relationships as
we share
memories of our
children with
each other.
Tucson Chapter
P.O. Box 30733
Tucson, AZ 85751-0733
(520) 721-8042
www.tucsontcf.org
National Headquarters
P.O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522
Toll free (877) 969-0010
www.compassionatefriends.org
We’re sorry for the reason you’re here, but we’re glad you’ve found us. –Tucson TCF
Tucson Chapter Meetings: CHRIST CHURCH UNITED METHODIST 655 N. CRAYCROFT
Second and Fourth Wednesdays 7:00pm-9:00pm
March 13, 27 April 10, 24 May 8, 22 June 12, 26
Welcome! All bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings are welcome at our support group meetings. Here
you will find comfort, caring people, and most of all-HOPE. Coming to the first meeting is hard, but you have nothing to lose and much to gain. For many it is the first real step toward healing. Although it may seem
overwhelming, we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become comfortable. The hope of The Compassionate Friends is that those who need us would find us and that
those that find us would be helped. TCF also provides information to help members be supportive to each
other. We are not professional counselors. We are bereaved families who want to help each other.
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Steering Committee Meeting: We meet to discuss upcoming events
and community outreach as well as fundraising. Our next meeting is 6
pm 5/29 Wednesday all are welcome. We thank the Viscount Suite for
graciously providing us with a meeting room.
2019 National Conference:
The 42nd TCF National Conference will be in held in Philadelphia, on
July 19-21, 2019. “Hope Rings in Philadelphia” is the theme of this year’s
event, which promises more of last year’s great National Conference
experience. Updates will be posted on the national website as well as on
the TCF/USA Facebook Page and elsewhere as they become available.
Plan to come and be a part of this heartwarming experience.
(Email from coordinators of Boutique at 2019 conference) Help Needed: Butterfly Boutique For those of you not familiar with the Butterfly Boutique, it is a quaint shop that is
completely put together by volunteers and sells donations provided by members and sometimes businesses. The purpose is to raise funds to further our national mission of helping parents, grandparents, and siblings who have lost a child at any age from any cause.
To have a successful Butterfly Boutique, we need your help to ask for donations of items to sell. We would like to have new and gently used pre-owned items. We are looking for items that have angels, butterflies, hearts, hummingbirds, dragonflies or any other appropriate subject matter. It could be jewelry (pins, earrings, rings, necklaces, ankle bracelets, etc.) or jewelry box. It could include a scarf or a tote bag. Our members love to purchase candles or coasters, a Christmas ornament or decoration, even kitchen or bath towels (new of course). Other popular items have included framed pictures, artwork, or handmade items. Especially popular have been Seraphim angels or Susan Lordi Willow Tree items. We love those who think creatively and find items with butterflies and hearts on things like a chair or lamp, a night light or magnet, note paper, a pen, a wallet, a watch or maybe something you may have purchased at the national conference and never used.
Not every item must have a symbolic heart or butterfly on it. The boutique becomes a sort of gathering place of bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. Any item donated is greatly appreciated! Let's also not forget that men also love to browse the boutique as well!
TCF is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt organization. We will also be happy to provide a donation receipt, describing the items anyone has donated. We, of course, leave the value of the item donated to be established by the donor. Please let Betty or Pam know if you’d like a donation receipt.
We look forward to receiving lots of different items from across the country! Collected items should be sent to me (see address below).
Don't hesitate to give us a call if you have any questions. Thanks for your support! Sincerely, Betty and Pam Betty Valentine, 302 Llangollen Blvd. New Castle, DE 19720 302-328-5727 (Cell 302-602-1121; bettyboop19720@gmail.com) Pam Bennett-Santoro,10 Harwich Road, Morristown, NJ 07960 (Cell - 201-602-3952; Home - 973-539-9255; Jpmp010@aol.com)
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March Birthdays
KRISTIN BAILEY OSWALDO BAKER MITCHELL BARRINGAR
PATRICK BENSON RENEE BLANCHARD CHRISTOPHER BREY
PAUL BRUMBAUGH STEVEN BURR WENDY CARBONEL
EVAN JACOB CUETO PHILIP GANOTE LAURA GORMAN
KALYN MARIE GREGG RICK CASEJALUR MELISSA HEYMERS
KYLE HOLBROOK REESE HOTTEN MELISSA LOPEZ
RYAN MCCRAY MICHEAL MCDANIEL BRYAN MCLAUGHLIN
GARETH OWEN STACY PESSIN CASIMIRO MARTIN PALAFOX
JARED PATRICK GRANT J. PIONTEK HEATHER RAMIREZ
JESUS RENE ANTHONY SIGAL ROSALINA ISABELLA SAENZ
KRISTA ANN VALDEZ CHADWICK "CHAD" SPALDING
ANTHONY JOEL WELLS BRADLEY CHARLES MAPLES
RICKY M. GRIJALVA JR. ALEXANDER "PEANUT" LUPER
DANIELLE MARIT-KALLA
March Remembrance Days
KRYSTAL ARNOLD MARTHA BATES CHRISTOPHER BAYZE
RICHARD BLAU DEVANTE CARRANZA KENNETH CHESTER
THOMAS CLARK JASMINE COOMBS AUDIANNA MARIE COTA
EVAN JACOB CUETO ANGELA DILLON EMILIA F DOYLE
KATIE EDMONDS WESTON FOARD JIMMIE GANIS
TESSA LEIGH GRIGGS SHAY EMMA HAMMER DANIEL HART
KYLE HENSON DANIEL GENE HILL CHERIE HILL
ROBERT HORSTMAN ANDREW INGARGIOLA NICOLE LAJALLEE
CHRIS MAIER MICHEAL MCDANIEL ZACH MORGAN
JOSHUA MOSS HEATHER RAMIREZ MARINA ESTRELLA PALOMO
ANTHONY SIGAL MARLA THYE PAIGE JAYDEN STOUT
DANIEL TATTRIE LUIS JAMES TIFFANY KRISTA ANN VALDEZ
HOLLY VICKERS GENE WATKINS MORGAN WISE
CHANCE MORGAN ALLISON ALEXANDER "PEANUT" LUPER
MATTHIAS EDWIN ENLOW ANNA CECELIA GAXIOLA
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Online Support information is available on the National Compassionate Friends Website at www.compassionatefriends.org. There are over 26 private Facebook groups available for parents, grandparents, and siblings.
To My Husband Your tears flow within your heart,
Mine flow down my cheeks. Your anger lies with thoughts and movements.
Mine gallops forward for all to see. Your despair shows in your now dull eyes.
Mine shows in line after written line. You grieve over the death of your son,
I grieve over the death of my baby. But we're still the same, still one, Only we grieve at different times,
Over different memories, and at different lengths.
Yet we both realize the death of our child. Pam Burden
TCF, Augusta, GA
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(One benefit from National) Remembrance Cards
In order to receive remembrance cards during your loved ones birthday month and
the death anniversary month, you must individually sign-up, with your complete
information, for the memorial book located on our website found under the “Find
Support” tab after clicking on “To The Newly Bereaved”
(https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/to-the-newly-bereaved/).
The national office does not have the resources available to complete this for
the chapters.
I Will Cry With You
I will listen closely ~ hold your hand or just
sit with you ~ as long as it brings comfort - I will be near ~ I will be silent ~ I WILL CRY WITH
YOU ~ I will silently pray for you ~ I will quietly listen as you share your unspoken thoughts ~ I
will not fill the space with questions, words of wisdom, well intentioned resolutions, or small
conversations ~ there are no words for missing ~ the heart kisses the thoughts and dare to
remember happier moments ~ in time, tender memories will guide us through difficult seasons -
occasions ~ in time, tender memories will be flowers a bloom in spring, a summer sun set at
dusk, the crisp leaves of fall, the first snow of winter ~ But for now, I WILL CRY WITH YOU ~ I
will not tell you how to feel, how to be ~ I will not tell you stories of others who have lost ~ I will
honor your moment ~ I will honor your loss ~ Please share your tears with me ~ I will not hush
them away, turn away, emotionally walk away ~ I will be near ~ I will hear your heart ~ I will hear
your unspoken words ~ I will not offer answers, but I will offer love ~ I will help you ~ I will hope
for tender moments, But for now---I WILL CRY WITH YOU
Pamela Hagens
TCF Nashville Chapter, TN
Copyright 8/5/2015
Unless expressly stated, the views expressed in articles, poetry, etc. in Walking This Valley are
not necessarily the views of The Compassionate Friends, The Chapter Steering Committee or
the Editorial Team. The Editor reserves the right to edit any contributions.
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APRIL BIRTHDAYS
KRYSTAL ARNOLD BEN ARRELLIN MARTHA BATES
PHILLIP BECKER ALLIE BURCH ASHLEY CALLAHAN
JOHN CARSTENS MEADOW CENTER ROBERT GLEN CREWS
LEAH GOODMAN RICK HAMILTON TRAVIS HEGERLE
WILEY HERREN DELLVON WATSON GAVIN LEE WEBB
TONY WINFIELD CHERIE HILL JAY JOHNSON
DEVIN KAMBER RYAN KNOTT CHARLES JOSEPH KEEN
DAMIEN MELZER DANIEL MERENS CHRISTOPHER LAWSON
SCOTT MILLER SCOTT NEVINS MELISSA QUINN MADONNA
MICHAEL PENA KASEY PIKE JEREMY BRYANT PATRICK
JOE ROMMEL JONATHAN ROSS LUNA SAYURI ROMERO
SUSANN SALMON JAMES SELBY ARIELLE IRENE RUBEN
JAMES THELEN WILLIAM TIDWELL LUKE RUTHERFORD
TINA VALENZUELA PAUL THOMPSON MATTHEW TESCHNER
STACY ANN HEMESATH MARCOS RENE TORRES
EMILY KATELYN ARRIAYA TORRES JULIE ANN VONDERSAAR
APRIL REMEMBRANCE DAYS
W. JARED BLAIR NINA BODEN AARON THOMAS ATHERTON
STEVEN BURR JOE CRAWFORD NANCY BATES DIETZ
SUSAN M. BIEGER MARK BRIDGEMAN JAMES K. BROWN JR.
GORDON BRYAN RACHAEL EDWARDS EBERT S.R. EISSENSTAT
JULEE FRASER MARISA GALLEGO D. FRANCES ENRIQUEZ
FRANK GARCIA ANGELINA KNOX NANCY KONERTH
GAGE LA FONTAINE RICHIE LOPEZ DANIELLE MARIT-KALLA
BRIDGET MEMBRILA PANCHITO MEZA AARON MILLER
ZACHARY ORMAN LOGAN PALMER LIEM MICHAEL O'ROURKE
STACY PESSIN KYLE PETTEYS MICHAEL JOHN PADILLA
STEVEN A SCANNELL DREDAN SEGUNDO CHRISTOPHER PALACIO
BEN-DAVID PFLUG JOSEPH SHIELDS AARON JAMES "AJ" RACHUY
GAVIN LEE WEBB DAVID THORSON GREGORY RAMIREZ JR.
BRYSE VASQUEZ PETER VELAZQUEZ EMILY RACHEL SILVERSTEIN
RAMES VALENZUELA ALEXANDER WHEATLEY
SAVANNAH GRACE WATSON
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DEBBIE AND DIANE AT JIM CLICK
RAFFLE KICK OFF
Fundraising: The Tucson Chapter of the Compassionate Friends
earned $2150 from the Jim Click Raffle in 2018. This is our largest
fundraiser and although we did not sell any of the three winning
tickets we truly appreciate all those who purchased tickets to help
fund our efforts in supporting those who have lost a child,
grandchild, or sibling.
We are participating again this year. First place is a 2019 Jeep
Grand Cherokee Summit, Second place is two round trip airline
tickets anywhere in the world, Third place is $5000!
Tickets are $25 each or 5 for $100. All funds raised stay with
our organization. Please purchase your tickets early and often!
We are due to sell a winner!
Thanks also to all who either put money in the jar at meetings or
give through their employer (ECAP).
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CRISIS HOTLINE INFORMATION
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
Suicide Hotline
1-800-Suicide
Depression & Crisis Hotline 1-800-784-2433
The National Institute for Trauma & Loss in Children (TLC)
1-877-306-5256
Families Anonymous
(Addiction/Recovery)
1-800-736-9805
Al-Anon Family Groups (Addiction/Recovery)
1-888-425-2666
Post-Partum Depression
1-800-944-4773
OTHER TUCSON SUPPORT
GROUPS
Information & Referral
Services…..800-352-3792
Homicide Survivors, Inc…..520-
740-5729
FOOTPRINTS-
Pregnancy and Infant
loss….520-873-6590
Tu Nidito/Children to
Children…..520-322-9155
Alive Alone
http://www.alivealone.org/ -for
parent(s) who have lost their
only child
MISS FOUNDATION
http://www.missfoundation.org/
Survivors of Suicide……. 520-
989-0467
Chapter Steering Committee
Leader: Sharon Farrell Co Leader: Tara Chico/Donna Ruboyianes
Editor: Diane Allison Contributing Editors: All members- contributions wanted!
Outreach/ Correspondence: Estella Salazar
Facebook: Melissa Chico, Cat Morrow
Website: Julie Shulick
New Attendee Coordinator: Cat Morrow
Library: Debbie Russell
Treasurer: Cindy Walter
Facilitators: Cindy Walter, Melissa Chico, Tara Chico, Carolyn Manka, Kim Teschner
Regional Coordinators: Barb & Gene Caligari, Chandler, AZ; Denise Dean
Photo buttons are now made at meetings. Bring your child’s photo printed on plain paper (button is 3.5” round) and ask anyone with a ribbon on their nametag for assistance.
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Siblings… I Felt I Was Healed
I felt I was healed, felt I was ok Ten years had passed to make me this way.
Worked with others who were feeling the pain So tears and the heartache would soon go away.
I make the newsletter and work on the slides That we watch as we remember the better times.
But life has a way of throwing a curve That rocks to the core and shatters the nerves.
My brother has died and though he was ill A hole has re-opened once again I must fill.
I know all the steps that take me through grief Of the traps to watch out for, oh what a relief.
Though same it is different, the hurt is still there I miss my little brother and wish he were here.
Stew Levett
TCF Pikes Peak Chapter
Playing in the Shadows
We grew up together, Big sister, little brother.
I took care of you Until you were old enough to care for yourself.
Though you didn’t say it, I knew you loved me.
We played in the sunlight, you and I; Remember the games of “Mother-May-I” and “Hide-and-Seek”?
Sure we had our fights As all siblings do,
But through it all we never lost Our love for each other.
Now you’re gone. I’ll never see you again except in the memories
of those sunny days. You will forever be sixteen--
Far too young to die. You had your whole life to live.
I’ll always grieve, but I must go on. Still, without you,
I play alone in the shadows.
Cheryl Larson TCF Pikes Peak, CO
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A National self-help, non-profit organization for families who have
experienced the death of a child
THE TUCSON CHAPTER
P.O. 30733
Tucson, AZ 85751-0733
Return Service Requested
March-April 2019
Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
Paid
Tucson, AZ
Permit No. 2296
Contact: hotline (520) 721-8042 or visit our website at www.tucsontcf.org
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