Time Passes Strangely After a Loved One Dies_ Robert J. Nebel (Opinion) _ Cleveland

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(http://media.cleveland.com/opinion_impact/photo/bernardnebeleda9903bfc654d78.png)Bernard"Bernie"Nebel

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(http://media.cleveland.com/opinion_impact/photo/img3064jpg9e85f8135d9d58a1.jpg)RobertJ.Nebelwithhisfather,Bernard,inSeptember2012.PhotobyCamelliaJ.Lipman.

(http://connect.cleveland.com/staff/neomgguest/index.html)ByGuestColumnist/cleveland.com(http://connect.cleveland.com/staff/neomgguest/posts.html)onDecember26,2014at5:46AM,updatedDecember26,2014at5:47AM

Ireceivedthecallsoneyearago.NewYear'sEvewillneverbethesame.

Thenewsthatwealldreadedcame:MyDad,Bernard"Bernie"Nebel,hadpassedawayafterspendingayearatMontefiorenursinghomeinBeachwood.

Certainlyweallsawitcoming,butaseveryonewhohasgonethroughalovedonedepartingusknows,onecanneverbepreparedforsuchasadevent.

Oneyear.Sotheclichgoes,"timeflies,"butwhat'smoreintriguingtomeishowthehumanmindperceivesthepassageoftime.Theleaduptothefuneral,thegravesideserviceandthefamilygatheringstookplace.Timestoodstillforafewdaysduringthosechilly,snowyClevelanddays.

Whensomeonethatweloveleavesus,thereareaseriesofthingsthathappen.Welaugh.Wecry.Weembrace.Weremember.Then,lifegoeson,"businessasusual."Certainlythat'showDadandzillionsbeforehimwouldhavewanteditforthoseofuswhoarecalled"survivors"onPlanetEarth.

Twelvemonthspassedandsomuchhashappenedbothwithinthefamilyand,ofcourse,outsideofthefamily.Theworldspinsfasterthesedaysandbeforeoneknowsit,yearshavepassed.

I'msuretherearethosewhoagreewiththis:"Ifonlysheorhewereheretoexperience(fillintheblank)."Sometimeswefeelthatwethinkaboutthatdepartedlovedoneeveryday.Thatfeelingmightbetrueduringtheimmediateaftermathofacloseoneleavingus,butaslife'sroutinekicksintogear,itistoughforthattypeofremembrancetobetrueanymore.Guiltthenwashesoverus.Thatguiltsubsides,butcanrearitsuglyheadattimes.

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RobertJ.Nebel

(http://media.cleveland.com/opinion_impact/photo/fullsizerenderjpg36134a716ec8d2ad.jpg)RobertJ.Nebel,right,withhisfatherBernardNebelinSouthEuclidinMarch1977.

#JMMCPBSE.VTJD 0O.PUIFST%BZ

Themostdifficultthingtoacceptiswhenyouareinasubconsciousmomentandallofasudden,youhavetosaytoyourself,"Heorsheisnolongerwithus."Trustme,tellingmyselfthatapersonisnotwithushappenednotjustwithimagesofmyDad,butmanyothersovertheyearswhenIwasbothawakeanddreaming.

Howaboutthoseraremomentswhenanenvironmentalfactortriggersamemory?Pictures,paintings,recordedvideooraudioaretheobviousfactorsthatmayconjureupamemoryofadepartedlovedone.Thentherearethosenotsoobviousfactorsthatgetustorememberalovedone.Songspopupinthestoreoronthecaraudiosystemthatgetustorememberthatperson.

Dadwasintolisteningtoawidevarietyofmusic.Irecallflippingthroughhiscollectionofvinylmanyyearsagoandputona45rpmsinglecalled,"Tzena,Tzena,Tzena(http://youtu.be/QZ5v651bQ1o)"byafolkgroupknownasTheWeavers.Wasthesongdatedtomeasakid?Certainly,butitwasspecialtoDad.Itwasfrom"histime"anditpopsinmyheadnowandthen,makingmemelancholy.

Overtheyears,wespenthoursinthecar.AgreatdealofthattimewaslisteningtoDad'sfavoriteradiostation,WHK,whichwasprimarilycountryandwesterninthemid1970s.

Whatwasonceatop40stationthatearneditselfaspotonthefrontcoverofTheBeatles'SergeantPepper'sLonelyHeartsClubBandalbum

(http://www.sonyinsider.com/wpcontent/uploads/2009/03/sgtpepper.jpg),becameastationthatcateredtopeoplelikeDadwholikedthatmusicandacontroversialtalkshowhostbythenameofGaryDee(http://garydee.50webs.com/).Fortheyoungonesoutthere,GaryDee(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Dee)waspopularClevelandradio"staple"withanangrymanshtickyearsbeforesyndicatedtalkradiohostRushLimbaughandothersresurrectedthatacttofarhigherlevels.ImetDeeyearslaterasaninternatWKYCTV3.Dee,whodiedaboutsevenyearslater,in1995,wasnotinthebestofhealth,whichseemedtomellowhim.

Overtheyears,Dadaddedmorecurrentartiststohislikingbutstillpreferredsongsfrom"histime."Fromtimetotime,Ithinkofthosesongsandtheydon'tbringmeanysadness,justhappinessknowingthattheymadeDadhappy.Dadwasatrue"Clevelander."Hewasn'tintofancycars,houses,vacationsorclothes.Justlikesomanyinthecommunity,hewashardworking,dedicatedtofamilyandastraightshooter.Youknewwhereyoustoodwithhim.

Dadisstillmissedoneyearlater.

RobertJ.Nebel,avideoeditor,producerandwriter,livesinAtlanta,wherehehasworkedforTurnerBroadcastingformorethan25years.

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tpskern(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/tpskern/index.html)

RobertJ.Nebel(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)

RobertJ.Nebel(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)

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(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/tpskern/index.html)Nicestoryandtribute,Bob.

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(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)Forpreviouscolumnsrelatedtothisone,pleasevisittheselinks:

"Father'sDaywithoutDad(July30,2014)"

http://ow.ly/GDPAS(http://ow.ly/GDPAS)

"RememberingDad(January24,2014)"

http://ow.ly/GDQac(http://ow.ly/GDQac)

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(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)ForthosewhowouldliketoknowmoreaboutTheWeavers,checkoutthisfilm:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084894/(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084894/)

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(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/hank44121/index.html)ExcellentarticleBob.Iexperiencedmanyofthesamethingsaftermymotherdied.

1 Like(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html) Reply

Dec27,2014RobertJ.Nebel(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)

(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)@HankDrake(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/hank44121/index.html)ThankyouverymuchHank.It'samazinghowlittletriggerslikeasongornamecanbringonmanyfondmemories.

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(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/thespiritoffrankdrebin/index.html)SoundslikeyourDadwasagreatguy.

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Dec26,2014RobertJ.Nebel(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)

(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/robertjnebel/index.html)@FrankDrebin(http://connect.cleveland.com/user/thespiritoffrankdrebin/index.html)ThankyouFrank(orshallIsay,"Detective?")Mydadhadagreatimpactonthefamily,neighbors,colleaguesandthosewhoencounteredhimatthepharmacycounter.

AsfaraslisteningtoMr.Dee,Ibelieveitwasforpureentertainmentpurposes.Idoubtthatmydadagreedwithagooddealofthepoliticalshtick.Nevertheless,mydadenjoyedthecountrymusicprogrammingonWHK.Whileheenjoyedthelikesofthetypicalcountrystarsoftheday,helovedOliviaNewtonJohn'searlycareer

AsIgrewolder,IgotmydadtolistentomoreBeatles,RollingStones,BillyJoel,Eaglesandmore.Morespecifically,mydadlovedJimmyBuffett's"Margaritaville"andSirEltonJohn's"CandleintheWind."

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