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Navigating Triggers in Recovery
Laura Wesson MA, LCAS, LCMHCA, NCC
Dilworth Center Family Counselor
laura@dilworthcenter.org
What are
TRIGGERS?
Triggers:▪Are reactions in the present moment to past events.
▪Are automatic responses to some one or some thing
(usually negative & intense).
▪ Impact our thoughts, emotions, actions, and body sensations.
▪Can be predictable or unpredictable.
▪Can vary in strength, duration,and frequency.
TRIGGER
Who gets triggered?
• Addicted Person/Patient
• Loved Ones/Family Members
Triggers - to name a few…
FAMILY MEMBER
Is triggered by the
ADDICTED PERSON
and
SUBSTANCE
ADDICTED PERSON
is triggered by the
SUBSTANCE
and
FAMILY MEMBER
What is
Codependency?
Codependency is:▪An Obsessive-compulsive addiction to People, Behaviors, and Things.
▪ The mistaken belief that we can control our inside feelings by
trying to control (or use) outside things such as people, places, things, & events.
▪A relentless struggle to fill the great emotional vacuum within oneself through
another person, substances or things such as money, food, sex, exercise, or work.
▪Multigenerational in nature.
The object of dependence may change but the misery is still present.
Ex: alcoholic father, workaholic son, compulsive spending grand-daughter.
Love is a choice – Recovery for codependent relationships – Hemfelt, Minirth, Meier
PEOPLE Codependence
This was great at first…
But now I can’t even
go to the bathroom alone…
Obsessive-Compulsive use of: Alcohol, Chemicals, Porn, Work, Money,
Food, Exercise
I know this will make me feel all better and whole again
This isn’t what I had in mind…
BEHAVIORS & THINGS Codependence
What is
Enabling?
Enabling is:The mistaken belief that we can control
OTHER PEOPLE’S inside feelings by trying to
control outside things such as people, places,
things, and events.
Love is a choice – Recovery for codependent relationships – Hemfelt, Minirth, Meier
Enabling is also:Doing something for a person that they are
capable of doing for themselves.
Note:
The person may not WANT to do something,
but they are CAPABLE of doing it.Love is a choice – Recovery for codependent relationships – Hemfelt, Minirth, Meier
Enabling is about…Codependency is about…Trying to
control things so that
“I” do not feel
bad
Trying to control things
so that
“YOU” do not feel
bad
● Many codependents enable others because the codependent feels bad if others feel bad.
● “It makes me feel bad to watch you struggle, so let me just fix it for you so we can both feel better.”
● This is a short term fix to make the immediate feeling go away but it does not create long term results.
A TRIGGER:causes an INTENSE and usually NEGATIVE
AUTOMATIC RESPONSE in THOUGHTS,
EMOTIONS, ACTIONS, & BODY SYSTEM
Love is a choice – Recovery for codependent relationships – Hemfelt, Minirth, Meier
Triggering Situations
can bring about
Automatic Responses
in our...
Emotionsusually the driver…
Thoughts
Actions
TRIGGERING
SITUATIONS
COULD BE
LURKING
ANYWHERE...
THINK ABOUT A COUPLE OF SITUATIONS WHERE YOU ARE TRIGGERED ...
TRIGGERING Situations
▪ P EOPLE
▪ L OCATIONS
▪ A CTIONS (of others)
▪ T IME (of day, week, holiday, date of...)
▪ E XPOSURE to substance
▪ S ENSES (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste)
▪ T HOUGHTS/WORDS (of others)
▪ H UNGER/CRAVE (food, drug, etc.)
▪ E MOTIONS (of others)
▪ M OTIVATION
▪ E NERGY LEVEL
▪ S ELF-CARE
automatic
Emotions…
SAD MAD SCARED Guilty Remorseful
Ashamed Stupid
Depressed Inferior
Lonely Isolated
Bored Apathetic
Tired Sleepy
Hurt Distant
Hostile Sarcastic
Angry Frustrated
Selfish Jealous
Hateful Irritated
Critical Skeptical
Confused Bewildered
Rejected Discouraged
Helpless Insignificant
Submissive Inadequate
Insecure Embarrassed
Anxious Overwhelmed
JOYFUL POWERFUL PEACEFUL Excited Daring
Sensuous Fascinating
Energetic Stimulating
Cheerful Amused
Creative Playful
Hopeful Optimistic
Faithful Confident
Important Discerning
Appreciated Valuable
Respected Worthwhile
Proud Successful
Aware Surprised
Content Relaxed
Thoughtful Pensive
Intimate Responsive
Loving Serene
Trusting Secure
Nurturing Thankful
automatic
Thoughts…
Thinking Errors
1. All Or Nothing / Always or Never
2. Over-generalizing
3. Discounting Information That Does Not Support Your Opinion
4. Jumping To Conclusions
5. Labeling
6. Magnifying or Minimizing
7. Should or Must
8. Emotional Reasoning – If I Feel It, It Must Be True
9. Excuses, Blaming, Justifying
10. Pity Me, Pet Me, I Am The Victim
11. Diverting Attention Away From The Problem
12. Lying To Avoid Responsibility
13. I Am Unique
14. Making Fools Of Others To Feel Powerful And In Control
15. Assuming Without Checking
16. Pretending To Be Cooperative & Helpful
17. Anger To Manipulate & Control Others
18. Keeping Secrets, Keeping Score
➔ I’ll just have one
➔ This is only impacting me
➔ No one else will know
➔ I deserve it
➔ I’ll say it differently this time and they will get it
➔ I can control it - I know what is best for me
➔ I can control them - I know what is best for them
➔ Their life is over if they experience a negative consequence
➔ If I don’t drink/use they will think I am weird & I won’t have any friends
➔ Well it is legal - I have a prescription etc..
Lies we tell ourselves...
automatic
Actions…
early recovery
Emotional Hitting
Emotional Vomiting
“YOU...”
vs
using tools of recovery
Advocating for Self
“I...”
summary…
Triggering Situations can bring about Automatic Responses in our...
Emotions
Thoughts
Actions
● Stop...
● Breathe...
● Think...
● Breathe...
● Act...
HEALTHIER Situations
▪ P EOPLE
▪ L OCATIONS
▪ A CTIONS (of others)
▪ T IME (of day, week, holiday, date of...)
▪ E XPOSURE to substance
▪ S ENSES (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste)
▪ T HOUGHTS/WORDS (of others)
▪ H UNGER/CRAVE (food, drug, etc.)
▪ E MOTIONS (of others)
▪ M OTIVATION
▪ E NERGY LEVEL
▪ S ELF-CARE
Healthier
Actions…
❏ Go to a meeting
❏ Call a Dilworth group member,
❏ Call an AA friend with more sobriety
❏ Call sponsor
❏ Exercise
❏ Reading Big Book
❏ …...
Things I can do to retrain my brain...
Healthier
Thoughts…
AA and Al Anon Slogans▪ One day at a time
▪ Meeting makers make it
▪ GOD = Good, Orderly, Direction
▪ HOW = Honesty, Open-Mindedness, & Willingness
▪ KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid!
▪ NUTS = Not Using The Steps
▪ STEPS = Solution To Every Problem in Sobriety
▪ This too shall pass
▪ How important is it?
▪ Expectations are premeditated resentments
▪ One drink is too many & a thousand is not enough
▪ You are as sick as your secrets
▪ Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm, it is peace within the storm
▪ If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got
▪ Nothing is so bad that a drink won’t make it worse
▪ Nothing is so bad that trying to control someone else won’t make it worse
▪ When all else fails, follow directions
▪ Change is a process, not an event
▪ Sick and tired of being sick and tired
▪ More to be revealed
▪ Before you say I can’t, say I’ll try
▪ Bring the body and the mind will follow
▪ Do the next right thing
▪ “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~ AA p. 40-41
▪ “As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful & ask for the right thought or action.” ~ AA p. 87
last to change
Emotions…
SAD MAD SCARED Guilty Remorseful
Ashamed Stupid
Depressed Inferior
Lonely Isolated
Bored Apathetic
Tired Sleepy
Hurt Distant
Hostile Sarcastic
Angry Frustrated
Selfish Jealous
Hateful Irritated
Critical Skeptical
Confused Bewildered
Rejected Discouraged
Helpless Insignificant
Submissive Inadequate
Insecure Embarrassed
Anxious Overwhelmed
JOYFUL POWERFUL PEACEFUL Excited Daring
Sensuous Fascinating
Energetic Stimulating
Cheerful Amused
Creative Playful
Hopeful Optimistic
Faithful Confident
Important Discerning
Appreciated Valuable
Respected Worthwhile
Proud Successful
Aware Surprised
Content Relaxed
Thoughtful Pensive
Intimate Responsive
Loving Serene
Trusting Secure
Nurturing Thankful
In Summary…
▪You started treatment at Dilworth with triggers.
▪You will end treatment at Dilworth with triggers.
▪Triggers cannot be totally avoided.
▪ Some triggers may lessen with time.
▪Prepare in advance for known triggers.
▪When an unexpected trigger arises, take action.
▪Triggers remind us that we have some work to do on ourselves.
Your goal as patients and family members…
- be AWARE of your triggers,
- ACCEPT them as such, and
- take ACTION towards recovery.
Now…
take a deep breath...
let it out...
and smile...
Laura Wesson MA, LCAS, LCMHCA, NCC
Dilworth Center Family Counselor
laura@dilworthcenter.org
the end…
Navigating Triggers in Recovery
Laura Wesson MA, LCAS, LCMHCA, NCC
Dilworth Center Family Counselor
laura@dilworthcenter.org
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