Journal #11 Look around the room. Pick an object, any object, and describe it in writing with as...
Preview:
Citation preview
- Slide 1
- Journal #11 Look around the room. Pick an object, any object,
and describe it in writing with as much detail as possible, without
naming the object. Dont tell anyone what you chose, we are going to
try and guess in a few minutes.
- Slide 2
- Description and Early Prose AP Language and Compostion Mrs.
Lewis
- Slide 3
- How Can Something Be Described?
- Slide 4
- Effective Selection of Detail Clearly, a good description must
evoke sensory impressions in order for the reader to respond to or
engage in a description. It is not surprising that most
descriptions focus on how something or someone looks. Why might
this be?
- Slide 5
- Effective Selection of Detail Sophiathe only daughter of Mr.
Western, was a middle-sized woman; but rather than inclining to
tall. Her shape was not only exact, but extremely delicate; and the
nice proportion of her arms promised the truest symmetry in her
limbs. Her hair, which was black, was so luxuriant that it reached
her middle, before she cut it to comply with the modern fashion;
and it was now curled so gracefully in her neck that few could
believe it to be her ownHer eybrows wer full, even, and arched
beyond the power of art to imitate. Her black eyes had a lustre in
them which all her softness could not extinguish. In this passage,
Fielding does not give ALL the details of Sophias appearance
because an overly detailed listing would be tedious and dull.
Instead he selects those precise physical characteristics that
enable us to see her in our minds eye. Why do you think he chose
the details above? Lets look at them one by one.
- Slide 6
- Effective Selection of Detail Next we will read a descriptive
passage by Jamaica Kincaid, Coming to Antigua. In it Kincaid
imagines herself a tourist, arriving on her native island of
Antigua for the first time. As you read, identify the various
sensory details she uses to bring the scene alive for the
reader.
- Slide 7
- Journal #12 Take a minute to think about places that are
important to you or where something significant has happened to
you. This should be a specific place, not just a type of place (ex.
Central Park, not a park). Start to describe that place with
sensory details.
- Slide 8
- Effective Arrangement of Detail As we discussed the other day,
the first basic principle of description is that it should involve
the senses or evoke sensory impressions through the selection of
detail. Next, it is important to maintain a consistent point of
view and arrange details in an order that is inherent to the
subject or dictated by the context.
- Slide 9
- Effective Arrangement of Detail A meaningful organization for a
description of an event is often A meaningful organization for a
description of an event is often chronological (beginning to end).
A meaningful organization for a series of related actions would be
causal (cause and effect).
- Slide 10
- Effective Arrangement of Detail A meaningful organization for a
description of a place is often A meaningful organization for a
description of a place is often spatial: The author describes from
right to left, or vice versa. The author describes from up to down,
or vice versa. The author describes from out to in, or vice versa.
The author moves from general or larger detail to specific or
smaller detail, or vice versa. The author spirals around a space,
in a circular fashion.
- Slide 11
- Effective Arrangement of Detail In spatial organization, point
of view is especially important because it determines what writers
can see, how they see what they do, how what they see makes them
feel, and so on. For example, in Kincaids essay, the writer
imagines a moving observer, passing from one point in Antigua to
another, describing, item by item, what the observer sees as he/she
goes along.
- Slide 12
- Effective Arrangement of Detail The Kingdom of Didd by Dr.
Seuss The Kingdom of Didd was ruled by King Derwin. His palace
stood high on the top of the mountain. From his balcony, he looked
down over the houses of all his subjectsfirst, over the spires of
the noblemens castles, across the broad roofs of the rich mens
mansions, then over the little houses of the townsfolk, to the huts
of the farmers far off in the fields. It was a mighty view and it
made King Derwin feel mighty important. Far off in the fields, on
the edge of a cranberrry bog, stood the hut of the Cubbins family.
From the small door Bartholomew looked across the huts of the
farmers to the houses of the townsfolk, then to the rich mens
mansions and the noblemens castles, up to the great towering palace
of the King. It was exactly the same view that King Derwin saw from
his balcony, but Bartholomew saw it backward. It was a mighty view,
but it made Bartholomew Cubbins feel mighty small. How does the
viewpoint change the description and the effect of the
description?
- Slide 13
- Effective Arrangement of Detail Now we will read a passage by
John V. Young, Moonrise over Monument Valley. Pay attention to
Youngs arrangement of detail and the impact this has on the way we
experience the place he describes. Note the point of view Young
uses and how this contributes to the organization of the
piece.
- Slide 14
- Journal #13
- Slide 15
- Journal #14 Describe the gunky stuff that gets caught in the
basket at the bottom of the sink. Dont use the words disgusting or
gross.
- Slide 16
- Creating Mood in Description What is mood? Mood is the overall
feeling the reader gets from a text. How is it created? Mood comes
from word choice and sentence structure. Mood can be created in
descriptions of the surroundings, feelings of the characters and
actions that take place. Choosing appropriate words for different
events will create the mood that is right for a particular
scene.
- Slide 17
- Creating Mood in Description Mood Activity Part 1: You will get
into your groups of 4. Each group will be given a mood and 5
minutes to come up with as many words that fit that mood as
possible.
- Slide 18
- Creating Mood in Description Mood Activity Part 2: You will
stay in your groups, but your Mood list will be switched with the
list of another team. Your group will have 10 minutes to use ALL of
the words on the list to write a short story that creates that
Mood.
- Slide 19
- Creating Mood in Description Mood Activity Part 3: Lets
share!
- Slide 20
- Creating Mood in Description As we read Shady Grove, Alabama,
July 1936 think about the mood James Agee creates and the ways that
he does this. Highlight words that you think contribute to the mood
of the piece as you read. Also, think about how the selection of
detail and the organization of the piece contribute to its
mood.
- Slide 21
- Journal #15 Describe a car, using at least five comparisons to
food. Only one of these can be a color related comparison.
- Slide 22
- Journal #16 Which of these statements do you agree with most:
A.The Narrative assignment was easier than the Description
assignment. B.The Description assignment was easier than the
Narrative assignment. C.Writing both assignments was equally
difficult. D.Writing both assignments was equally easy. E.I didnt
write one or both of the assignments. Explain why you agree with
that statement the most. Explain how the writing process was for
you.
- Slide 23
- Journal #17 Finish this sentence 3 different ways, creating a
different feeing with each sentence: Antonio opened the door, he
gasped to see
- Slide 24
- Battle of the Ants Sentence Leveling One day when I went out to
my wood-pile, or rather my pile of stumps, I observed tow large
ants, the one red, the other much larger, nearly half an inch long,
and black, fiercely contending with one another.
- Slide 25
- Battle of the Ants Sentence Leveling The smaller red champion
had fastened himself like a vise to his adversarys front, and
through all the tumblings on the field never for an instant ceased
to gnaw at one of his feelers near the root, having already caused
the other to go by the board; while the stronger black one dashed
him from side to side, and, as I saw on looking nearer, had already
divested him of several of his members.
- Slide 26
- Battle of the Ants Sentence Leveling I have no doubt that it
was principle they fought for, as much as our ancestors, and not to
avoid a three-penny tax on their tea; and the results of this
battle will be as important and memorable to those whom it concerns
as those of the Battle of Bunker Hill, at least.
- Slide 27
- Analyzing Description Your primary purpose in analyzing a
descriptive essay is to figure out mood or dominant impression the
author creates in their description. Your second purpose is to
explain what rhetorical devices the author uses to create that mood
or dominant impression.
- Slide 28
- Sample Prompt Read the following passage carefully. Then, in a
well-developed essay, discuss the effect the passage has on the
reader by analyzing the techniques used by the writer to achieve
that effect. In your essay, you should consider such aspects of
writing as organization, point of view, language, and selection of
detail.
- Slide 29
- Journal #18 Sentence Leveling Practice: We hold these truths to
be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are
endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that
among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
- Slide 30
- Sample Prompt Read the following passage carefully. Then, in a
well-developed essay, discuss the effect the passage has on the
reader by analyzing the techniques used by the writer to achieve
that effect. In your essay, you should consider such aspects of
writing as organization, point of view, language, and selection of
detail.
- Slide 31
- Lets Analyze! Read Battle of the Ants carefully. Then, in a
well-developed essay, discuss the effect the passage has on the
reader by analyzing the techniques used by the writer to achieve
that effect. In your essay, you should consider such aspects of
writing as organization, point of view, language, and selection of
detail. 1. 1.As you read decide what effect (dominant
impression/mood) Thoreau is creating. Find 3 words from your mood
list that you think encompass this effect. 2. 2.As you re-read,
search for, then highlight the different techniques (rhetorical
devices) that Thoreau uses to create that effect (dominant
impression/mood). Pick 3-5 of these techniques that Thoreau uses
most prominently. 3. 3.Fill in the Analysis Organizer.
- Slide 32
- Writing an Introduction Because first impressions are so
important, it is very important to have a strong introduction to
any essay. A strong introduction acts as a funnel, going from a
broader topic to a specific argument (your thesis). 1-2 sentences 1
sentence
- Slide 33
- Broad Opener/Hook Your opener, the first 1-2 sentences of your
introduction, should be something that gets your readers attention
and makes them want to keep reading. It should be something broadly
related to your topic. Common openers: 1.Anecdote 2.Quote 3.A
surprising fact 4.A historic or related fact 5.A general
statement
- Slide 34
- Background Information This should include: the author and
title of the passage. the author and title of the passage. It may
include: brief summary brief summary beginning discussion of your
topics beginning discussion of your topics
- Slide 35
- How to Write a Thesis
- Slide 36
- Journal #19 Checking your Introduction 1.Get out your
Introduction Paragraph for the Battle of the Ants essay and and 3
different color highlighers. 2.Use one color to highlight your
opener. The label it as its type: anecdote, Anecdote, Quote,
Surprising Fact, Historic or Related Fact, or General Statement
3.Use a second color to highlight your background information
(including the authors name and title) 4.Use the third highlighter
to highlight your thesis statement.
- Slide 37
- Writing a Body Paragraph The Jane Schaffer Way: Topic Sentence
Concrete Detail Commentary Commentary Concrete Detail Commentary
Commentary Concluding Sentence Each body paragraph should be at
least 100 words in length. The more words you use well, the better
your writing will get. Quality NOT Quantity! Minimum 8
Sentences
- Slide 38
- Topic Sentence It is the first sentence of the paragraph. It
shows the main idea. It shows the main idea. Usually a mildly
controversial statement-- something that you have to prove
- Slide 39
- Concrete Detail These are your facts, quotes, examples, etc.
from the text. CDs cant be argued witha CD is evidence that
supports your point!
- Slide 40
- Commentary This is your analysis, interpretation, explanation,
or insight into the text.
- Slide 41
- Journal #20 Checking your Body Paragraph 1.Get out your Body
Paragraph for the Battle of the Ants essay and and 3 different
color highlighers. 2.Use one color to highlight your topic sentence
and concluding sentence. 3.Use a second color to highlight your
concrete details (facts, quotes, examples, etc.) 4.Use the third
highlighter to highlight commentary (analysis, interpretation,
explanation, etc.)
- Slide 42
- Journal # 21 Description Analysis Essay Self-Check: Do the
following to each of your body paragraphs: 1. Hi-lite all direct
quotes (including tags or stems) from the piece you are analyzing.
2. Hi-lite all material that restates what the author of the essay
you are analyzing said. (This includes all paraphrases or
translations of his words into your own words.) 3. Hi-lite all
material that tells what happened in the piece you are analyzing.
(plot summary) 4. Put parentheses around your Topic Sentence and
Conclusion Sentence. 5. Hi-lite all material that simply connects
to your topic sentence (This will be most of your claim sentences).
WHAT"S LEFT is your analysis of the piece. Do you have any?
- Slide 43
- Journal # 22 Time to turn in your essay! 1. 1.Staple the Rubric
to the top of your Final Draft and any drafts or pre- writing you
have. 2. 2.Give yourself a grade: A. A.Circle the score you think
you deserve. B. B.Below, explain why you think you deserve this
score. Be as specific as possible. One-two sentences is not enough.
Really reflect on your writing and what you feel good about or what
you are not so confident about. Then turn it in! Yay! You are
done!