English Class

English ClassWhat's the point?

And you have a good point.

If you never took another English class from this day forward, you

would have the basic skills needed to get by in some jobs.

But…

Many years of this...seriously!?

You're probably thinking this right

now.

And you're probably not

alone.

How many of you think English class is

unneccessary since you already know how to read

and write in English?

You would struggle if you:

o Plan to go to college

o Plan to earn a living

o Want to better understand other subjects (like

math, science, history)

o Want to form educated opinions on world

events and issues

o Want to become a critical thinker

In order to achieve

these things…

You'll learn to effectively

communicate with your peers.

QuickTime™ and a decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

You'll be exposed to great literature…

…both old and new.

You'll find creativity you never knew

you had.

“Soft” written by an LMJ student

Socratic Circles

You'll learn to write various

types of essays, responses,

documents--incorporating technology, of

course.

QuickTime™ and a decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

Blah...blah...blah.... 

Your brains have already shut down now, right!?

   So... here's the REAL reason you need

English class:

Because all that previous stuff--while vital to your educational

success--sounds BORING.

So you don't look like an

idiot,

like these folks...

Even if this was just a

computer glyph error

and the commas were

actually apostrophes,

it’s STILL wrong.

“Type’s” and “tool’s”

are not possessing

anything--especially a

“sharp end”!

So if no vehicle is “tresspassing,” why

do we need the sign?

But I thought this was the Guide Dog’s toilet.

Yes, we all want

you to carefully

slip and fall

down, rather

than clumsily slip

and fall down.

Where do I

begin?

Yummmm…

I just LOVE Lobter-Beef-

Shtimp & Chiken Suop!!

It’s almost as good as the Shtimp Suop!

What caused the explosion? A gas leak? And you couldn’t find the gas valve because… Oh, I see. This is the

“gas vavle”.

English class to sign writer the entrance bekons.

(With Yoda too much time was spent.)

English

Class

Back

You Go

Because we wouldn’t want you to arrive after your departure…

Probably not at it is best.

Well, I know you

won’t be earning a

star…

We have cute LECKNACES, too!

And up “ahaed” you’ll glimpse a future without English class.

So, TP that tree

up ahaed?

Is this for

Trekkies?

But the sign said

“DRIVE IN”!

From The Committee

“ortherised” to dumb down

America.

Must be written by the same committee…

Would you hire this person as your personal typist?

“YA I GOT

DELIVERYS

FOR SOME

CANDYS

BERRYS AND

PASTRYS

THANKS

UPS”

For some Meace of Pind, stay at…

And they probably do New Job’s,

as well as Repair’s!

Found in the locker room right here at LMJ…

Unfortunately, even the college educated and professionals forget essential editing skills learned

in English class.

I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.Well, I’ll need a few…

How many people looked at these before someone noticed the errors?

Left, engraved on the Stanley Cup.

Great job, “Ilanders”!

Sometimes

it’s all about

the

placement

of signs.

Or the placement of punctuation.

Please don’t smoke your food or your pet!

The difference one comma can make…

The pecans are just the added bonus!

And this was

“perpared” by

an “honors”

university.

Nor is it too soon to add English to your curriculum!

I hate being

distrubbed!

Uneasiness: an understatement if flying with this airline.

And Hoppy New Yaer!

Hands off! This is Holiday’s.

And nobody else’s!

(Except maybe Marry’s or Happe’s.)

Because being

a 1, 2, or even

a 3 hour

leader just

isn’t the

same.

Unless they’re silent candles,

then it’s okay.

A customer ordered a cake from Walmart and told the decorator to write “‘Best Wishes Suzanne’ and then underneath that

‘We will Miss You.’” And here’s what the customer got…

Let’s stop here for some coffee and…

I’m so hungry, I could eat a…

Or should I have

the cold cats?

Decisions,

decisions.

Yes! Just what I was craving…

Just like mom used to make!

The benefits of taking English are

priceless.