Editing for efficiency. We should write the way we talk, only better – Ernest Hemingway

Editing for efficiency

• “We should write the way we talk, only better” – Ernest Hemingway

Tips for the editing process

• Fix mistakes before fiddling with writing.

Tips for the editing process

• Fix mistakes before fiddling with writing.

• Cut words, don’t add words.

Tips for the editing process

• Fix mistakes before fiddling with writing.

• Cut words, don’t add words.

• Rewrite weak passives.

Tips for the editing process

• Fix mistakes before fiddling with writing.

• Cut words, don’t add words.

• Rewrite weak passives.

• Make sure the subject is near the verb.

Tips for the editing process

• Fix mistakes before fiddling with writing.

• Cut words, don’t add words.

• Rewrite weak passives.

• Make sure the subject is near the verb.

• Vary sentence length.

Tips for the editing process

• Fix mistakes before fiddling with writing.

• Cut words, don’t add words.

• Rewrite weak passives.

• Make sure the subject is near the verb.

• Vary sentence length.

• Use first-degree words (house, business and office instead of domicile, establishment and facility.)

Wrong words: Don’t use these

• Alright (all right)

• Irregardless (regardless, irrespective)

• Towards, Backwards (lose the “s”)

• Wreckless (reckless)

Crutch words: Don’t misuse these

Hopefully

• WRONG: Hopefully, Dave will get here on time.

• RIGHT: I hope Dave will get here on time.

• RIGHT: At dinner time, my dog looked up at me hopefully.

Crutch words: Don’t misuse these

Hopefully

• WRONG: Hopefully, Dave will get here on time.

• RIGHT: I hope Dave will get here on time.

• RIGHT: At dinner time, my dog looked up at me hopefully.

Basically – it’s NOT the same as “and that’s all there is to it,” or “and it’s simple enough.”

WRONG: Basically, you just turn this knob and shove this lever forward.

RIGHT: The proposal is basically sound (means fundamentally).

Misused words• Like -- He feels like he was personally repudiated. Using “like” in place of “as

if” is colloquial and should be avoided.

Misused words• Like -- He feels like he was personally repudiated. Using “like” in place of “as

if” is colloquial and should be avoided.

•  Literally -- The three-year varsity player literally carried the team to victory in

the Catholic League tournament championship.

Misused words• Like -- He feels like he was personally repudiated. Using “like” in place of “as

if” is colloquial and should be avoided.

•  Literally -- The three-year varsity player literally carried the team to victory in

the Catholic League tournament championship.

• Following -- Do not use following as a preposition.

Misused words• Like -- He feels like he was personally repudiated. Using “like” in place of “as

if” is colloquial and should be avoided.

•  Literally -- The three-year varsity player literally carried the team to victory in

the Catholic League tournament championship.

• Following -- Do not use following as a preposition.

• Dilemma -- The word means a choice between two equally unpleasant options –

not just a problem or difficulty

Misused words• Like -- He feels like he was personally repudiated. Using “like” in place of “as

if” is colloquial and should be avoided.

•  Literally -- The three-year varsity player literally carried the team to victory in

the Catholic League tournament championship.

• Following -- Do not use following as a preposition.

• Dilemma -- The word means a choice between two equally unpleasant options –

not just a problem or difficulty

• Over, more than– Over is for height, and more than is for number

Misused words• Like -- He feels like he was personally repudiated. Using “like” in place of “as

if” is colloquial and should be avoided.

•  Literally -- The three-year varsity player literally carried the team to victory in

the Catholic League tournament championship.

• Following -- Do not use following as a preposition.

• Dilemma -- The word means a choice between two equally unpleasant options –

not just a problem or difficulty

• Fewer, less – use fewer to compare quantities

• Over, more than– Over is for height, and more than is for number

Wordy constructions

At that that point in time

At this time

Due to the fact that

In the course of

In the near future

Located at

Often times

On one occasion

Once in a great while

Previous to

Subsequent to

Went on to say

During the summer months

In reference to

Redundancies

Traded to another team

Has good speed

Set a new record

Completely destroy

Ultimate outcome

Very unique

Acute crisis

Basic essentials

Large in size

Climb up

Dead body

End result

Depreciate in value

Few in number

Follow after

Free gift

Hot-water heater

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Accusations were leveled by each side that the other initiated the first shooting, but both sides said they still had intentions to honor the truce.

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Accusations were leveled by each side that the other initiated the first shooting, but both sides said they still had intentions to honor the truce.

Each side accused the other of shooting first, but both said they intended to honor the truce.

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Every morning the three professors rode in the same car pool to their jobs in the history department, but among them, they almost never had a civil word to say.

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Every morning the three professors rode in the same car pool to their jobs in the history department, but among them, they almost never had a civil word to say.

Every morning the three professors carpooled to the history department, arguing all the way.

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Approaching maturity in the urban enclave of South Birmingham without benefit of paternal guidance, Roy Jefferes was cognizant of the syndrome of temptations and frustrations that leads a sizable proportion of adolescent males to gravitate toward criminal activity.

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Approaching maturity in the urban enclave of South Birmingham without benefit of paternal guidance, Roy Jefferes was cognizant of the syndrome of temptations and frustrations that leads a sizable proportion of adolescent males to gravitate toward criminal activity.

Growing up without a father in urban South Birmingham, Roy Jefferes knew well the temptations and frustrations that lead many young men toward a life of crime.

Passive voice, weak verb construction

Approaching maturity in the urban enclave of South Birmingham without benefit of paternal guidance, Roy Jefferes was cognizant of the syndrome of temptations and frustrations that leads a sizable proportion of adolescent males to gravitate toward criminal activity.

Growing up without a father in urban South Birmingham, Roy Jefferes knew well the temptations and frustrations that lead many young men toward a life of crime.

Growing up without a father on the streets of South Birmingham, Roy Jefferes knew firsthand the psychological tug-of-war that drags too many young men into the trap of what they call “thug life.”

Passive voice

The chemical dumping was allowed by insufficient government regulation.

Strong verbs

Two hot dogs were consumed by the boy in less than 20 seconds.

Strong verbs

Two hot dogs were consumed by the boy in less than 20 seconds.

The boy quickly and hungrily ate two hot dogs in less than 20 seconds.

Strong verbs

Two hot dogs were consumed by the boy in less than 20 seconds.

The boy quickly and hungrily ate two hot dogs in less than 20 seconds.

The boy inhaled two hot dogs in less than 20 seconds.

Strong verbs

The hill was climbed by the children.

Strong verbs

The hill was climbed by the children.

The children climbed the hill in a hurried fashion.

Strong verbs

The hill was climbed by the children.

The children climbed the hill in a hurried fashion.

The children scrambled up the hill.

Strong verbs

The legislators were engaged in heated debate about the bill.

Strong verbs

The legislators were engaged in heated debate about the bill.

The legislators clashed over the bill.