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THE PEACEMAKERS’ DIVORCE
The Collaborative Approach is:
A way for attorneys to take on the role that they were meant to assume when working with families in conflict, as Counselors-at-Law, with everyone agreeing in writing not to go to court.
• With a Collaborative Practice divorce, each adult hires a Collaborative Practice lawyer, who protects & guides each spouse.
• Spouses meet privately with their lawyers, as well as together with each other & their lawyers.
The Collaborative Approach is:
The Collaborative Approach is:• Additional experts, such as
divorce coaches & child & financial specialists, may join the process or are perhaps the first professional consulted.
• The shared professional team is a valuable benefit as they work together with spouses, promoting good decision-making in a time of crisis, ultimately helping to create a solid foundation for the family’s future.
• Professionals committed to help couples resolve their divorce as fairly & amicably as possible.
• All meetings are intended to promote honest exchange of information & clear understanding about needs & expectations, especially about the well-being of children.
The Collaborative Approach is:
The Collaborative Approach is:
• Mutual problem-solving by all parties leads to the final divorce agreement.
• Combined decades of experience & education of the Collaborative Law team using this process, which promotes resolution of divorce matters uniquely tailored to family’s needs.
The Collaborative Approach is:
• About preserving family relationships.
• About managing disputes within families, businesses, work settings & neighborhoods.
• About constructively addressing paternity cases & prenuptial agreements.
• Not just about divorce but for all civil procedures.
The Collaborative Approach is:
• One of the best kept secrets.
• When we do our work well, no one outside the process knows about it.
• The best kept secret is that you do not have to go bankrupt when you divorce & it does not have to hurt so much.
• A way of life.
Collaborative Law Principles: • An agreement is signed
by spouses & their lawyers to allow parties to resolve issues without court appearances.
• An open exchange of information by both spouses is required.
• Goal is to determine a maximum outcome & possibilities that reflect the most important priorities for each spouse & their children.
The Benefits of Collaborative Approaches:
• Maintain control over personal, private information.
• Eliminates the high cost of courtroom litigation.
• Often reduces the time to address legal issues.
- Each family’s situation determines how quickly the divorce process proceeds.
- Collaborative Practice can be more direct & efficient.
• Reduces the time to address legal issues.
- With focus on problem-solving, instead of blame & grievances, this process is less antagonistic & more respectful.
- Full disclosure & open communications assure all issues are addressed in a timely manner.
- By settling out of court, there is no wait for the multiple court dates necessary with conventional divorce.
• Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective communication tools.
- Guiding principle of Collaborative Practice is respect.
- Respectful tone encourages all involved to be more reasonable, understanding & cooperative.
• Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective communication tools.
- Collaborative professionals are trained in non-confrontational negotiation, helping to keep discussions productive. - Goal of Collaborative Practice is building settlement on areas of agreement, not perpetuating disagreement.
• Focus on problem solving, rather than faultfinding.
Why do family law professional peacemakers conclude collaboration is the best way, when often
they make less money from each family served?
• Increased pride & personal satisfaction in what can be achieved within a collaborative system.
• Vicarious joy in witnessing the preservation of more cordial family relationships following divorce.
• Children’s sense of well-being is fostered by parental harmony.
• Children experience the healing aspects of collaborative process, because it enables the family to remain connected.
• Personal stress is decreased.• The collaborative approach reduces the negativity
typically created by going to court. Thus, extended family & significant others are not drawn into a dreadful process.
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Not just paid in dollars.
• Loss of productivity & control of outcome.
• Length of time to conclude.
• Protracted stress.
• Beginning of the odyssey of conflict.
The Cost of Adversarialism:• Who really profits from
protracted litigation?
• Resources are redirected from the family to the adversarial system.
• Enemies gained when there is a face off in court.
• Expect judge to fix it? Judge will chop resources in half & create a mess.
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Do you have an emotional budget?
• What about the performance factor?
• What’s your comfort level communicating personal information in a stressful, public forum?
Why are those in the “public eye” choosing an alternative to court-
processed divorce?• March 1, 2013 -
Billionaire T. Boone Pickens, energy tycoon.
• A man who knows a good deal when he sees one.
• Used a collaborative divorce approach in his recent parting of ways from his fourth wife, Madeleine.
• “The collaborative approach saves both money & emotional wear & tear on families.”
• “Collaborative law keeps everything on a high level, & everybody cooperating.”
Pickens told Bill Heathcock, Staff Writer for the
Dallas Business Journal:
• Pickens is such a believer in the process that he gave the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas $100,000.
• Pickens, famous for saying “the first billion is the hardest ,” said his second divorce was the toughest. He did not use the collaborative approach on that one.
• How much did Mr. Pickens tell Mr. Hethcock the collaborative approach saved his family?
• “Money?...several million.”
QUESTIONS?
COMMENTS?
THE END
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