A Biblical Conciliatory Approach to Conflict Resolution

Tim KnightManuel Prabhudas

Group and Conflict Issues in LeadershipLDRS 561

Azusa Pacific University January 2010

A Biblical Conciliatory Approach to Conflict Resolution

The Peacemaker

Alternative Dispute Resolution

A Biblical ModelPeacemakers, founded in 1982 by Ken

Sande

Training individuals, businesses and organizations to pursue Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) through a specialized, conciliatory approach

Peacemaking vs. Escape/Attack Responses

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Matthew 5:9

Personal Peacemaking Overlook an Offense

Reconciliation

Negotiation

Overlook an Offense

Forgiveness of an offense (Prov.19:11)

Not to talk, dwell, or grow into bitterness or anger

Reconciliation More serious to overlook and

damages the relationship Confession, loving correction,

and forgiveness Be reconciled with that person

(Matt. 5:23-24) Forgive as Christ forgave us (Col.

3:13)

Negotiation This relates to

things unlike relationship issues such as money, property, and other rights.  (Phil.2:4) 

Assisted Peacemaking

Mediation

Arbitration

Accountability

Mediation Mediation between two people

by an outside objective person Mediators ask questions and

give advice to guide the individuals (Matt.18:16)

Final decision  is made by the individuals involved in the conflict

Arbitration One or more arbitrators to

be involved  and make a binding decision to settle the conflict  (1 Cor. 6:4)

Accountability Person is a Christian but does

not desire to be reconciled Accountable to Scripture for

repentance, justice, and forgiveness

Leaders in the church will lovingly intervene  (Matt.18:12,17)

The PAUSE Principle of Negotiating

Phil 2:3-4; Matt. 7:12 Prepare Affirm relationships Understand interests Search for creative solutions Evaluate options objectively and

reasonably

Escape Responses

• Denial

• Flight

• Suicide

Attack Responses• Assault

• Litigation

• Murder

Reasons People Respond Negatively to Conflict• People in conflict bring to the table

all of their incompleteness• Lack of skills to deal with conflicts

makes matters worse• People view conflict negatively and

therefore respond negatively• People view conflict through the

lens of their previous negative experiences

People in conflict bring to the table all of their incompleteness

• Immaturity

• UN Secretary General’s Comments

Lack of skills to deal with conflicts makes matters worse

People view conflict negatively and therefore respond negatively

People view conflict through the lens of their previous negative experiences

• 9/11: a collective negative experience

Evaluating Organizational Peacemaking Culture• Do people show genuine respect for the

opinions, interests and reputation of others?

• When there is a disagreement, do people try to speak the truth in a loving way?

• Do people resolve disagreements constructively among themselves?

• Do people value relationships and work hard to preserve them?

• Do leaders provide a consistently positive example of resolving conflict?

• Do people show compassion toward others who are very different or difficult to love?