27 October 2012Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation Reconciliation

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Reconciliation

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Matthew 18: If another member of the church sins against you…

• point out the fault when the two of you are alone• if you are not listened to, take one or two others along

with you, so that every word may be confirmed • If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the

church; • if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let

such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.• how often should I forgive? “Not seven times, but, I tell

you, seventy-seven times

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Justice, Compassion, and Reconciliation. These are the three signposts on the path to peace that emerge from the gospel of Jesus Christ. They are the context of reconciliation. They are the ongoing process by which Christian community is both built and sustained.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Quick History Tour

• 1st Four Centuries of the Church– Peter & Paul; Jews & Gentiles– The “Fathers” (basic doctrines/heresies)– The “Creeds”– Rome, Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch– West and East (Apostles’ and Nicene)

• Reformation– Papists/Anti-Christs; Reformed/Rebellious

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

• American Colonies– Burning of women as witches– Killing of Native Americans as sanctioned– Pauline texts used to justify slavery– Patchwork quilt of denominations = claims to

“rightness”

• Conservative/liberal; traditional/progressive (all believe they’re right!)

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Does right = reconciled?

• Being “right” is much easier than being reconciled.

• When asked what was the most important thing for people to do, Jesus did not say that is was for the to be “right.” He said it was for them to love.

• Love is not about being “right.” It is about being in relationship.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Implications

• Reconciliation does not mean that we must stop believing in sin.

• Reconciliation does demand that we stop pretending that another person's “sin” is different than our own and that , consequently,

• We have a “right” to set ourselves apart from them and act as their judge

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Resolution of Conflict

Five possible strategies

• Collaboration

• Negotiation

• Voting

• Hierarchy

• AvoidingAfter Speed Leas in

A Lay Perons’ Guide to Conflict Management, Alban, 1979

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Love one another

• Separation/shunning is not an option

• Hurting one another is not an option

• As we try to love– The Holy Spirit, the Counselor, the Advocate– Available to all w/out regard to politics or

passions– To heal when we hurt, understand when

confused, reconcile when estranged

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

What is our witness?

• Fear?: guilt by association (company of sinners)– Conformity– Institutionalization of conflict

• The Cross: Jesus’ reminders: We are people of deep spiritual contradiction - “in the world” but “not of the world”

• Love: We are to be grounded in community, not “rightness”

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

So how do we “do” compassion?

• What do we do w/ anger & hurt of conflict?• Do we have to live in emotional turmoil as

the price of disagreement?• What is the “peace of Christ that passes

all understanding” in the midst of our struggles?– Forgiveness (but not cheap grace)– Not “I’m right and you’re wrong but I forgive

you”

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

• “Walk among them” – compassus

• “Do not be afraid” (security)– Of losing– Of losing control– Of being guilty

• Defensive, belligerent, arrogant, hostile, depressed, angry, etc.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

• Invite Diversity (the way of radical hospitality)– Community is organic. It is not structural,

organizational, or doctrinal

• The reconciliation of Jesus is an invitation to behave in ways that are both different and difficult

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Not always easy to be part of the Jesus family: required members to• maintain humility• to avoid power plays,• to expect• change as natural• to stay together even when disagreeing among

selves• To remain alert for the movement of the Holy

Spirit in their lives• sent out to be reconcilers and healers

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Three principles (then 10 steps)

• justice can be served without one side having to be “right.”

• compassion can be practiced with a forgiveness that overcomes fear.

• reconciliation can occur without the need for resolution.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Ten Steps Toward Reconciliation

1. Seek first the Kingdom of God

2. Do not be afraid.

3. Judge not.

4. Forgive seven times seventy.

5. Be servants first.

6. Stay awake.

7. Ask so you may receive

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

8. Trust the Holy Spirit.

9. Go into all the world

10.Love one another

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Four-Way Forgiveness(Norma Dearing)

• Hold up to the Lord all the things about the person that trouble you

• hold up to the Lord all the things about you that trouble this person

• Hold up to the Lord your heart’s desire for this person

• Hold up to the Lord your heart’s desire for yourself

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Recovering Reconciliation as the Mission of God

1. Reconciliation is God’s gift to the world. Healing of the world’s deep brokenness does not begin with ujs and our action, but with God and God’s gift of new creation.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

2. Reconciliation is not a theory, achievement, technique or event. It is a journey.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

3. The end toward which the journey of reconciliation leads is the shalom of God’s new creation – a future not yet fulloy realized, but holistic in its transformation of the personal, social and structural dimensions of life.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

4. The journey of reconciliation requires the discipline of lament.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

5. In a broken world God is always planting seeds of hope, though often not in the places we expect or even desire.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

6. There is no reconciliation without memory, because there is no hope for a peaceful tomorrow that does not seriously engage both the pain of the past and the call to forgive.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

7. Reconciliation needs the church, but not as just another social agency or NGO (non-governmental agency).

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

8. The ministry of reconciliation requires and calls forth a specific type of leadership that is able to unite a deep vision with the concrete skills, virtues and habits necessary for the long and often lonesome journey of reconciliation.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

9. There is no reconciliation without conversion, the constant journey with God into a future of new people and new loyalties.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

10. Imagination and conversion are the very heart and soul of reconciliation.

27 October 2012 Forgiveness, Healing & Reconciliation

Resources

• Good News: A Congregational Resource for Reconciliation, The Rt. Rev. Steven Charleston, Episcopal Divinity School

• Reconciling All things: a Christian Vision for Justice, Peace and Healing, Emmanuel Katangole & Chris Rice, InterVarsity Press, 2008

• Forgiving Ararat, Gita Nazareth, Bette Press, LLC, 2009 • Forgiveness is a Choice, Robert Enright, APA Life Tools,

2001• The Shack, William P. Young, Windblown Media, 2007