Youth Ideas - 10 Characteristics of Successful Mentors

Youth Ideas - 10 Characteristics of

Successful Mentors

According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world

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1. Be a friend• Don’t act like a parent• Don’t try to be an authority

figure• Don’t preach about values• DO FOCUS ON THE BOND





2. Have realistic goals and expectations

• Focus on overall development, not performance and change

• Center initial goals on the relationship itself

• Emphasize friendship over performance





3. Have fun together• Youth spell love – TIME• Informal activities lay the

foundation for formal ones• Shared activities become great

discussion starters





4. Give your protégé voice and choice in deciding activities

• Help them to explore possibilities and then make their choices

• Listen more than you talk• Question more than you Preach





5. Be positive• Praise and encouragement build

self-esteem• Be supportive rather than critical

– focus on solutions rather than problems





6. Let the protégé have much of the control over what the two of you talk about

• Don’t push, be patient• Be sensitive and responsive to

cues• Let them know that can confide

in you without you becoming judgmental





7. Listen• Let youth vent without

criticizing them• When you listen they see you

as a friend, not an authority figure





8. Respect the trust your protégé places in you

• Respond in ways that show you understand. This is not the same as agree

• Reassure the protégé that you are there for them

• Advice should not be dispensed but mutually discovered

• If you have to convey concern or displeasure, do it with caring and understanding

• Sound like a friend not a parent… youth easily discern the difference





9. Remember your relationship is with the youth and not the youth’s parent

• Maintain cordial contact, but you are not there to be a spy for parents. You are there to be a champion for the youth

• Keep your focus on the youth• You are not there to bring about

the parents wishes, but to help the youth discover their potential

• Be non-judgmental about the family





10.You are responsible for building the relationship

• Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact

• Don’t expect adult to adult relationships



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Youth Ideas - 10 Characteristics of Successful Mentors