FortheBronxvilleHighSchoolClassof2016

June2016

NedKenneyandFrancescadelaRamaBHS’06

STUFFWEWISHWEHADBEENTOLDBEFOREWEWENTTOCOLLEGE

ACoupleofQuickThings…The views and opinions expressed in this presentation are those of the authors (although, for the record, theygleaned most of this stuff from friends and family members who are much better at life than they are). Thispresentation does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the companies for which the authorswork, their parents, their known associates in organized crime, or their considerable networks of Myspacefriends.

Please keep in mind as you’re reading this document that it’s simply impossible to adhere to every guidelineherein. (This is especially true for the authors, who have been consistently disappointing themselves andthose around them for many years.)

[Moving from the 3rd to the 1st person…]

Thatsaid,wehopeatleastafewideaswillresonatewithyou—andchangeyourperspective/behavior forthebetter—asyoupreparetokickbuttincollegeandbeyond.

Good luck!

Ned Kenneynken87@gmail.com

FrancescadelaRama

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Academic• Leave college having forged great relationships with at least two professors. Invest in them, and help them invest in

you; take them to lunch, go to office hours, take multiple classes with them, do the readings before class, askquestions, and get good grades. You will learn a lot from them, and you will have two real advocates when youinevitably need a reference/recommendation.

• Course/professor selection is critical. Your best resource is people a year or two older than you.

• Ugh, GPA totally matters.

• Cheating is never worth it, and don’t sweat the people who are cutting corners. Keep your head down and get yourwork done.

• Half the battle is staying organized.o Keepyourfiles uptodateinDropboxorGoogleDrive.o Useacalendarappforkeepingtrackofdeadlines andto-dos.

• What’s your ‘story’? Take classes thatwork toward that story. (It’s OK if the story changes.)

• STUDY ABROAD, if given the opportunity. Your stateside friends will be there when you get back. Take advantage ofan opportunity to immerse yourself in a new culture andmeet new people.

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• CourseSelectiono Inaneraofrapidchange,coursecontentislessimportantthanlearninghowto thinkcritically,framea

question, andexpressyourselfclearly. Thinkabouttheunderlying skills youwanttotakeintotheworldratherthansimply punching aticket.

o Pickcoursesnotonthebasisofthedescription, butratheronthereputationoftheprofessor forchallengingstudents.Studentstendtodobetterwhentheyareintellectuallyengaged,evenifthematerialisdifficult.Rememberthatperformingwellinaclasswithatopnotchprofessor builds yourconfidence.

o Seekoutadvicefromolderstudents, butbediscerning aboutdoingwhattheysayintermsofwhatfitsbestwithyourabilitiesandinterests. Beskepticalaboutadvicethatincludes phraseslike,‘Theprofessorgivesgoodnotes,’ or,‘Thetestsareeasy orrightfromthebook, soyoudon'thavetogotoclass.’

o Seekoutsmallerclassesandseminars, sothatyougettoknowyourprofessor andexpandyourcircleoffriends.

• InteractingwithProfessorso Avoidbeing‘highmaintenance’.Completeassignmentsontimeandidentifycrunchperiods aheadoftime,so

thatyou canresponsibly askforanextension.Don'tmissadeadlineandthenexpecttheprofessor tosolveyourproblem.

o Createagoodimpression inyouremailcommunicationswithyourprofessors.Don'tusefirstnamesunless theprofessor invitesyouto.Don'tuseslangandtextingabbreviations.

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Academic,ctd.WordsofWisdomfromaDartmouthProfessor

Work– FromInternshipsonUp• First priority: keep your immediate boss/supervisor happy. Good ways to do so: anticipate their needs and make

progress to address those needs before being asked.• Appearance:

o Clothing: It’s not about the brand or the price, it’s about how well you take care of your stuff. Find a good tailorand make sure everything fits. Keep things dry cleaned/ironed/washed/steamed/etc. Look CRISP.

o Easy on the cologne/perfume.• Unfortunately, attention to detail really does matter.• Actively seek feedback - but don't be annoying about it.• Don’t be ‘that guy’ or ‘that girl’ at events with alcohol. 2 drinks, maximum.• If you become known as unfailingly reliable, the most interesting opportunities will find you.• If you are going to identify a problem, ALWAYS attempt to accompany it with a solution.• Mistakes happen. Don’t cover them up; take immediate responsibility and move on. And don’t make the same

mistake twice.• Keep your personal life/emotions out of the workplace.• Don’t takenegative feedback personally. Everyone has room to improve.• Keep track of your most impressive accomplishments/substantive contributions in real time. This list will be

indispensable to preparing for performance reviews, negotiating a raise/promotion, and updating your resume.• Keep the following at your desk:

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o Napkinso Tidepeno Deodoranto Mouthwashandgumo Umbrella

o OTCandprescriptionmedicationso Razor(guys)o Tampons(girls)o Freshpairofsocks andshirt/blouseo Lintroller

PublicSpeaking/Presenting• Beprepared!Preparedness =confidence.It’llshow.

• Smile.Throwinsomejokes.Makepeoplefeelatease.

• Goodchartswinmeetings!

• Anticipatelikelyquestions/points ofconfusion andaddressthemproactively.

• Ifyou’restatingsomethingasafact,makesureit’s definitelytrue.Havethedatatobackitup.Peoplewillchallengeyouoncertainthings.Youwon’tgetflusteredifthefactsareonyoursideANDyoucancitethemreadily.

• Budgetyourtimetoendearly.Youwillalwaystalkforlongerthanyouanticipate,nomatterhowmanytimesyou’vepracticed.

• SPEAKSLOWLY.

• IfyouneedtousePowerPoint/Keynote,rememberthattherearetwoverydifferenttypesyoucandevelop,depending onthesituation:1) ‘Leavebehinds’, wherethedeckhastospeakforitselfwhenit’ssentaroundafterthepresentation.This

deckisanexample.Ifactuallypresentingit,doNOTjustreadallthewordsontheslide.Outline keypointsinthenotessectionandasktheaudiencetostaywithyouratherthanfocusingonreadingeveryword(theycandothatlater).

2) Non‘leavebehinds’: youshould havenomorethan20wordsonaslide.Punchyphrases,graphics,lotsofemptyspace.Useanimationssothatonlyoneideashowsupatatime.

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TalkingGood• Stopsaying'like'.

• Knowwhatyou’regoingtosaybeforeyoustartspeaking.

• Don’tbea‘hostagetalker’:avoidtellinglongandboringstories.

• Maximizeyoursubstance-to-syllable ratio.(Sometimesbigwordshelpwiththis.Sometimes theydon’t.)

• Don’tstartsentenceswith'So…’.

• Don’tinterrupt,unless someone’s beingreallyboring.

• Avoidendingstatementsbytrailingupasifyou'reaskingaquestion…even thoughyou'renot.

• Stopapologizingwhenyoudidn’t actuallydosomethingwrong!

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MoneyMatters• Nomatteryouracademicmajororprofessional aspirations,takeacoupleofeconclasses – including, ideally, oneon

financialmarkets.Alotofvery‘smart’,‘well-educated’ peoplearefinanciallyilliterate.Don’tbeoneofthem.

• Trackyourspending (onMint.com,anExcelspreadsheet,anindexcard)eachmonth.Getaroughsense, atleast,ofwhereyour(and/oryourparents’)moneyisgoing.

• Creditcards:openacardnowifyouhaven'talready.Payoffthebalanceeverymonth.Establishing acreditscorebeforeyougraduateisimportantforwhenyouneedtofind anapartmentpost-college.Cardhub isagoodresource.

• Nevergowithouthealthinsurance, evenforafewdays;gettinghurtcanspellfinancial ruin.

• Aftergraduatingcollege:Basedonyoursalary(andanyothersourcesofincome,e.g.yourparents),sticktoabudgetthatallowsyoutoput5%ofyourpretaxincomeinasavingsaccount(ANDcontributetoyour401k—seebelow)withouttakingondebt.Thisisyour‘rainyday’fund.Keepyourfingerscrosseditneverrains!

• Investingo Aftergraduatingcollege,maxoutyour401kmatchingatwork(orputinwhateveryou cansparefromyour

pretaxincomeevenifthere’snomatch)andgetexposuretofinancialmarketsthatway.o Ifyouhavetheresourcestotakeonadditional exposuretofinancialassets,openupapersonal accountat

Schwab,E*Trade,Scottrade,Ameritrade,etal.(doyourhomeworktodeterminewhichisrightforyou).o Don'tbuyindividual stocksorsharesof‘activelymanaged’funds (which havehigherfeeswithoutbetter

performance)- buyVanguardindexfunds (forbothstocksandbonds).o You’reyoung– gooverweightequities (i.e.takeonmorerisk)butdiversifywithbondfunds aswell.o Onlyputmoneyintofinancialassetsthatyouknowyouwon’tneedforYEARS.Marketfluctuations andfeeswill

eatyouupifyouprematurelyliquidate.8

BeingaModern-DayAwesomeChick / RealSolidDude

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• Show up on time. If you’re ‘really nice’ but you’re always late, you can and should do better.• Write a handwritten thank you note when someone goes above and beyond to help you.• Making eye contact is almost always a good thing.• Huge leg up if you can remember people’s names.• Don’t make life difficult for the person doing everyone a favor. Someone’s planning an outing? Needs you to send

her money so she can buy tickets for the group? If you make her email you three times and your only response is‘Chill out, I’ll pay you’ before begrudgingly doing so, you can and should do better.

• If you don’t take photos, that’s fine: just don’t give people who DO take them a hard time.• No important conversations over text message or email – do it in person.• Always exude confidence, but never act as if you are the smartest person in the room - even if you know you

probably are.• It takes work to be a good friend and neighbor. Most people know to avoid sins of commission. Be mindful of sins of

omission! (e.g. not RSVPing to stuff or missing a chance to do something nice for someone with minimal effort).• Reachout to people when something bad has happened to them. They’ll always remember your kindness.• Never make decisions when you’re angry and/or upset. Take a walk, call a friend, cool down, and then reassess the

situation. Ideally, sleep on it.• Stay off your phone when socializing. Be fully present whenever you can!• It's rarely the screwup that ruins careers, relationships, etc. It's the cover-up of the screwup. BE HONEST AND

ACCOUNTABLE. (Required reading, will take you less than an hour: 'Lying' by Sam Harris. http://bit.ly/237NGx2)• Be direct with people and articulate your concerns/frustrations earlier rather than later. Give people a chance to fix

things. If you seethe in silence, you are not a victim.

MiscellanytoKeepinMind• GET ENOUGH SLEEP, EATWELL, AND EXERCISE REGULARLY.

• Avoid going ‘a level up’ in arguments, e.g. ‘Peoplewarned me you were like this,’ or ‘You’re selfish and I hateyou.’ Stick to the specific issue at hand.

• Beware of people who feel backed into a corner. They do strange, unpredictable things. If at all possible, givethese people an out – e.g. if you see someone trying to walk off with your phone, say, ‘Hey, might you haveaccidentally mistaken my phone for yours?’ That way, you’ve addressed the situation without having neededto levy a serious allegation.

• Find a hobby you’re passionate about and keep at it. Volunteering, woodworking, taxidermy, philately…itdoesn’t really matter what, so long as you’re enjoying yourself and continually improving at whatever you’redoing.

• SAY YES TO EXPERIENCES. Concerts, trips, whatever. Just say yes. The value of an experience only grows withtime: the opposite is true of most material things.

• Traveling with people is a great chance to get to know them. It’s not just about the destination; enjoy everytrain ride!

• The number of people you are in regular contact with will peak during college. And that's totally OK.Predictable, even. The rest of your 20s is about investing in the people who really matter. Surround yourselfwith those who cheer your successes, pick you up when you fall, and can be trusted with confidentialinformation. 10

BigIdeastoGuideYou• Thegoldenrulewillalmostalwayshelpyoufigureoutthe‘right’thingtodo:TREATOTHERSTHESAME

WAYYOUWANTTOBETREATED!! (Unlessyou’reamasochist.)

• There’snobiggerbuzzkillthanaguywhotakeshimselftooseriously.

• It’sbetter tobewisethanright.

• Peoplewon’trememberwhatyoudidorsaid– they’llrememberhowyoumadethemfeel.

• Serendipitycanonlyhappenifyoushowup!

• Beanet‘giver’andavoidsustainedexposure topeoplewhoare‘takers’.Thekeytohealthyrelationships isreciprocity.Goodpeople findwaystocontribute.

• Nocryingoverspiltmilk.Moveon.Thisapproacheliminates like98%ofthethingspeoplegetupsetabout.

• Becritical ofyourself,butONLYtotheextentdoingsohelpsyouimprove.Beyondthat,cutyourselfabreak!

• Delayedgratification:Dosomethingyourfutureselfwill thankyoufor.

• ***Gratitudeandpositivity:practicethem!***o Rememberwhereyoucamefromandthepeoplewhohelpedyougetwhereyouaretoday.o Whathappenedtodaythatyou’regratefulfor? 11