How many times Have youh e a r d yo u r s e l f s ay i n g y e s to t h e w r o n g t h i n g s

overwhelming requests, bad relationships, time-consuming obligations? how often have you wished you could summon

the power to turn them down?

a well-placed “no”ca n n ot o n ly s av e yo u t i m e a n d t r o u b l e ,

it can save your life.

no is an incredibly painful, brave word to say. how many times have you had to say no only to have it cause anguish,

desperation, arguments, and anxiety?

But you Have tHe rigHt to say no:

to anything that is hurting you. to standards that no longer serve you. to people who drain you of your creativity and

expression. to beliefs that are not true to the real you.

1. saying no to social pressure

t h e k e y to s ay i n g ‘ n o ’ to t h i s p r e s s u r e i s a b c

when we were chi ldren we were taught to be pol i te, to be nice, and to say yes at a l l of the wrong moments. this leads us to be pressured by col leagues, inst i tut ions, bosses,

fr iends, and fami ly to attend to their needs.

acknowledge what they are pressuring you into

view these opportunit ies as educat ion. view these obstacles as ways to learn how to grow. without learning to say no, you can never learn to say a true yes to you.

“i have to leave in five minutes.”

after a few minutes, leave.

2. saying no to negative cHattersometimes we get stuck in negat ive chatter that becomes a running commentary on our l ives, much l ike a news anchor who only tel ls us the bad news that happens al l day long.

ExamplEs of nEgativE chattEr:

often we beat ourselves up in ways in which we would never beat up someone we loved. this is the worst form of cruelty. i t ’s a dai ly pract ice to recognize when this is

happening, and say “no”.

“How could He do tHis to me?” “Why does that person look like an idiot?” “do i look ugly”?

“How am I goIng to survIve my job today?” “am I goIng to be able to pay tHe bIlls? and on and on.

3. saying no to people you know are not good for you

to a l l of the people who seek to drain you with relat ionships that go nowhere, or people who try to control you or put you down, or people who cheat you or l ie to you.

You will never find Your own creative talent bY saYing “Yes”

in this area it is prettY black and white:

e i ther you are supported by those around you, or you are dragged into the spira l dra in of the toi let , and off you go to some sewer.

4. say no to Jealousy

the roots of envy can be anything. but i have to go to work today. the one thing i can choose is not to be ashamed of i t . to say, “okay, this is my chal lenge for the day.” to

accept i t . and say “no”.

so take i t for what i t is : a road map to get yourself out of pr ison. Jealousy is a guide to what is going on inside of you. i t ’s never about the other person.

“ maybe i feel like i can’t be loved unless i Have billions.”

“or I look lIke a movIe star.”“or i Have 20 Bestselling Books.”

J e a l o u s y i s u n avo i da b l e

5. say no to Being a slave

f o r a l l o f yo u r s l av i n g away, a l l yo u r b o s s h a s to s ay i s “ yo u ’ r e f i r e d ” a n d t h at ’ s t h e e n d .

you wake up before dawn. you travel . you work hard. you come home late. you’re feel ing stuck. you’re mi ld ly depressed and may take medicat ion for this. and you have

trouble s leeping and digest ing.

What did they do? study the people onl ine who seem to have broken free. what are they doing? keep working on your idea muscle. you do this by writ ing down ten ideas a day. i t doesn’t matter what the ideas are. i t doesn’t matter i f they are good or bad. this is just exercis ing. this is physical therapy appl ied to the mind so that

your idea muscle doesn’t atrophy.

study thE livEs of pEoplE who arEn’t slavEs.

6. say no to sudden tHougHt attacksi wake up at three in the morning every day. i can’t help i t . i a lmost have post-

traumatic stress from the many, many t imes i ’ve woken up in a panic at three in the morning to a f lurry of bad thoughts.

Looking back, nothing ever happened that i predicted at three in the morning

i’LL say it again: nothing i ever predicted at three in the morning ever came true. ever.

so here’s what i do now, which you can use as an exercise.

i say to myseLf, “nothing i ever predict at three in the morning comes true. i’m tired now and need to sLeep.

say “no” to thought attacks, as they rareLy (if ever) Lead to anything productive.

7. say no to aBusive people

i f the answer is no, you know you need to move away from the person. the key is not to engage. you need to quarant ine the abusive person’s disease and not let i t spread.

otherwise i t wi l l make you sick, too.

how do i feeL about myseLf when i am around this person?

do i feeL good about myseLf?

alwaYs ask Yourself:

8. say no to Bad luck

Sometimes we chase it. Sometimes it teases us. Sometimes we have it for a while. sometimes when we expect a k iss, i t runs away in the ra in, leaving us scared and lonely.

w e h av e a l ov e a f fa i r w i t h “luck.”

luck is something that is earned, and once you have earned i t , you wi l l a lways know how to get i t back. you wi l l say no to the people who try to br ing you down, who try to

use their own bad luck to control you because they can’t c l imb to your heights.

you Will say no to the people Who try to bring you doWn, Who try to use

their oWn bad luck to control you because they can’t climb to your heights.

9. say no to incoming negative energiespeople often try to provoke us. they want a response. they are lonely and they need

us to be angry or upset or scared or ashamed so they won’t be as lonely. and i t ’s easy to fa l l into their t rap. to get sucked into the vortex of negat iv i ty.

tHe key is to notice it, notice when it starts to well up in your head.

tHen stop it. say no to it.

10. say no to self-saBotagethink of your l i fe as a tra in stat ion. you are on the platform and you see

a tra in approaching. you really want this train to be your train.

but this train is not meant to stop here.

sensing that the tra in is not stopping, you jump onto the tracks, to the horror of a l l the people around you.

meanwhile, the train that is meant for you, the one that is your train by divine design, is right behind this one. only you cannot see this because you are too busy causing unnecessary drama.

to say no to self -sabotage, get out of the tra in tracks and accept the f low of l i fe. let the tra in cont inue, wish i t wel l as i t leaves, and trust that yours is coming.

that’s a l l i t takes.

11. say no to an untimely deatHoften we are given recipes for “success” to get “motivated!” to f ind “purpose!”

make your to-do l ists! do this! do that! take these pi l ls and cal l us in the morning!

even i f you think those things wi l l improve your l i fe. sometimes i t ’s important to do less in order to attract abundance.

sometimes it’s important to not do more things,

don’t do tHings tHat will cause you to die.

there’s a very simple trick to living longer. and it doesn’t involve doing more things. we almost feel silly telling you this:

12) say no to mindless selfisHness

but often people take that expression to mean that you should l ive l i fe without car ing. that you can do anything you want because tomorrow might not arr ive.

think of someone you love. or many people you love. here’s a new saying to try out. see how this improves the interact ions you have today. “treat everyone else as i f i t ’s

their last day.”

even though i t may sound a l i t t le morbid to imagine that people around us are about to die, in real i ty, th is s imple mind tr ick helps us let go of the mindless self ishness that

occupies most of our thoughts.

m a n y p e o p l e s ay, “ l i v e l i f e l i k e i t ’ s yo u r l a s t day.” w e g e t i t. Learn to appreciate everything around you.

when you protect yourself f rom the people and situat ions that wi l l hurt you. when you shield yourself f rom the stor ies and myths your col leagues, fr iends, fami ly, and inst i tut ions

use to control you. when you f inal ly say no to the inner condit ioning and psychology that your brain forces on you in i ts misguided attempts to protect you.

the power of no can free us from the society, the inst i tut ions, the fr iends, loves, col leagues, bosses, and bel ief systems that tr ied to bui ld a cage around us. those that tr ied

and st i l l t ry to control us.

it’s anotHer tHing to Have “tHe power of no.” always remember: it’s one thing to say no.