Positive Guidance and Discipline

What I Will Learn

A clearer understanding of discipline and appropriate limits.

Styles of parenting and individual parenting style.

Effective discipline techniques.

A Definition of Discipline

Discipline is a set of rules that govern a person's behavior and conduct.

The process of shaping and molding a child’s attitudes and behaviors over the

years.

Effective Discipline

Teaches What to do Problem-solving Appropriate interactions Self-discipline

Promotes growth Enhances self concept Helps children internalize

A Definition of Punishment

Punishment defined as imposing external controls by force on children to change their behavior.

Types of Punishment

Inflicting pain Imposing suffering Enforcing unrelated

penalties Personal or emotional

attacks

Why Punish ?

The misbehavior often stops immediately Children often show remorse during punishment The parent gets to blow off steam The parent feels in control The parent hasn't let the children "get away with it" The parent was raised that way

Which Parenting Style Are You?

Strict

Demands continuously Punishes harshly Values obedience Discourages independence and individuality Exercises physical punishment Resorts to yelling and threatening Does not allow reasonable choices to the child

The Child Raised in a Strict Home

May lack spontaneity, curiosity and creativity Often have limited independence and

assertiveness Don’t learn how to decide for themselves Not sure how to behave and depend instead on

others for their sense of control May have low self-esteem May be aggressive and defiant

Permissive

Sets no guidelines Asserts no authority Remains distant Remains uninvolved Uses excuses for not spending quality time

with child Gives the child too much Low on making demands Have little structure Parent who is substance abuser or immature

The Child Raised in a Permissive Home

Learns little self-control Immature May be aggressive at home May behave irresponsibly Low self-esteem Delayed emotional development Little ability to handle frustrations School skippers Turn to Drugs May Break Law in their search for attention

Moderate

Sets reasonable standards Has reasonable expectations Encourages independence and individuality Enforces rules firmly and consistently Allows choices Builds a more democratic relationship Recognizes individual rights

The Child Raised in a Moderate/Flexible Home

Responsible Independent High self-esteem and

confidence Better able to control

their aggression

Ages and Stages of Children

understand your child's major job at different ages.

not expect too much from your child too soon (like expecting a three-year old to tie his shoes)

prevent serious problems provide safe ways for your child to do her job

and be ready to move on to the next stage.

Knowing Ages and Stages Helps you

Reasons Children Misbehave

Attention PowerRevenge Inadequacy

Steps in Positive Discipline

Ignore minor, irritating behavior Praise and reward positive behavior Be specific with praise Work with the child to set basic rules Decide together what consequences will result

from breaking the rules Use consequences consistently and calmly

when rules are broken

Discipline Techniques

Anticipate trouble Give gentle reminders early Offer choices Overlook small annoyances

Discipline Techniques

Fix-up Ignore Be Firm Stay in control

Separation Behavior management Redirection Praise

What is it they really need from you?

I tried to teach my child with booksHe only gave me puzzled looks I tried to teach my child with wordsThey passed him by often unheardDespairingly I turned aside "How shall I teach this child?" I cried Into my hand, he put the key "Come, he said, play with me."