FIVE NON-RELIGIOUS REASONS FOR MARRIAGE & NUMBERS DROP FOR MARRIED-WITH-CHILDREN

DENNIS PRAGER’S ARTICLE ARGUES FIVE REASONS FOR MARRIAGE

1. After marriage, the relationship takes on a more meaningful commitment. Prager states, “You now see each other in a different and more serious light” (494).

2. “Words matter,” argues the author (494). Here the titles that we give our significant other take on a new importance when that title becomes “Husband” and “Wife.”

YOU, YOUR PARTNER, AND THE LAW

Prager points out that “legality matters” (494). In this view, a legal commitment to be responsible for another person illustrates that “you take this relationship with the utmost seriousness” (494).

IT IS THE EVEVT OF YOUR LIFETIME

Weddings matter to a lot of people; in fact, Prager points out that “there is no event, no occasion, no moment in your life when so many of the people who matter to you will convene in one place as they will at your wedding” (494).

According to the author, “Your wedding is the biggest moment of you life” (494). His support for this is interesting: it is the event when the most people who matter to you show up to bear witness to this event. If this is so, as I think it is, his argument does highlight the social significance of THE EVENT.

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Reason 5:

Your significant other’s family now becomes your family, comments Prager (494). In addition to being responsible to another person, you are also responsible to a larger group, and you take on a new role as a member of the group.

LOOKING AT SOME KEY POINTS

Prager makes a case for the titles that we use for people carry significance. Think “professor,” “judge,” “mother,” “policeman.” Could this same seriousness apply the words “wife” and “husband” in society?

Your wedding is the event of your lifetime. People will travel great distances to see you make this promise. It does seem interesting that a wedding is when people to tend to “show up.” Why is this?

Words Matter Ceremony Matters

FURTHER THOUGHTS TO PONDER

Prager notes that being legal committed to another person is a serious commitment.

Legal commitments include not abandoning your spouse and sharing certain financial debts.

Think of this as networking. Marriages do join larger groups of people together. In some countries, marriages purposely join powerful families. Often the term, “made a good marriage” meant marrying someone healthy and wealthy and from a good family.

Legal ResponsibilityExtension of Familial Bonds

NUMBERS DROP FOR MARRIED-WITH-CHILDREN

Moving on to the next reading…

Blaine Harden’s article was published in the Washington Post on March 4, 2007.

In the piece, Isabel V. Sawhill, an expert on marriage and a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution argues, “The culture is shifting, and marriage has almost become a luxury item, one that only the well educated and well paid are interested in” (481).

Jim and Michelle Fitzhenry with their son, John-RobertThe couple had a combined yearly income of

$350,000-$400,000 in 2007.

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Among its many benefits, marriage raises the earnings of men and motivates them to work more hours. It also reduces by two-thirds the likelihood that a family will live in poverty, researchers have learned.

Harden points out that “married couples with children now occupy fewer than one in every four households -- a share that has been slashed in half since 1960 and is the lowest ever recorded by the census.”

While we tend to think of “married-with-children” the most common family structure, Americans “seem to be reverting to a much older pattern, when elites marry and a great many others live together and have kids," said Peter Francese, demographic trends analyst for Ogilvy & Mather, an advertising firm (482).

TWO IMPORTANT OBSERVATIONS

College-educated women, whose numbers have risen sharply since 1980, often live with a partner and postpone marriage.” Yet Harden points out, women “eventually marry and have children, and divorce at about half the rate of women who do not finish high school.”

“Marriage and childbearing seem to be more ‘de-coupled’ among black people than white people: a third of first births among white women coming before marriage, compared with three-quarters among black women.”

55 percent of blacks, 40 percent of Hispanics and 30 percent of whites spend some of their childhood with cohabiting parents.

Women’s level of education plays a role in successful marriages

Racial factors also contribute to relationship choices

BUT REALLY SOCIO-ECONOMIC CLASS IS THE BEST PREDICTOR OF MARRIAGE

"The poor aren't entering into marriage very much at all," said Pamela Smock, a University of Michigan sociology professor.

“Young people from these backgrounds often do not think they can afford marriage,” Smock states.

As an illustration of this point, Harden details the financial situation of a young couple : “Victoria Miller and Cameron Roach, who have been living together for 18 months, are two such people, and they say they cannot imagine getting married. She is 22 and manages a Burger King in Seattle. He is 24 and works part time testing software in the Seattle suburb of Redmond. Together, they earn less than $20,000 a year and are living with Roach's father. They cannot afford to live anywhere else” (Harden).

HMMMMM…………..IT’S CRITICAL THINKING TIME.

So for Prager, marriage is not “just a piece of paper,” yet often this argument is made in support of not marrying.

But if words matter, as Prager argues, then why can’t words be enough to secure a commitment?

In regards to Harden’s article, have you seen these happenings in your life: couples marrying within their class and within their education-level?

Why would marrying someone from a similar background help to ensure a good marriage? Have you seen cases where the couple was from a different background and had a good marriage?

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My daughter, Emily and her husband, Robert Smith. Married 10-22-2011. I wish them forever and a day of happiness.