Thoughts create words

Words become actions

Actions become habits

BELIEFS

THAT CAUSE PROBLEMSBY CASSANDRA GADOUAS LMHC

11

1.You think everyone must love youYou may do things or act a certain way to feel

loved.

You need love and approval from others to feel good about yourself.

If you don’t get approval You FEEL

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AWFUL

You get angry with others

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You Feel They Should Treat You Better.

BECAUSE

2. You must do everything well. YOU MUST BE

THE BEST!

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You think that you must do everything well in order to feel good about yourself.

If you do, you label

yourself a loser.

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You Must Not Fail.

3. THOSE THAT DO BAD MUST BE PUNISHED!!

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You think that those

who do things you do not like should bepunished

YOU MAY ALSO FEEL THIS WAY

THAT YOU

SHOULD BE

PUNISHED FOR

NOT DOING

WELL.

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4. THINGS MUST BE DIFFERENT !

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If you think things

should be different than they are then:

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You may think things should not be

And So….

AS THEY ARE

You Feel Miserable.

That things are the way they are.

5. IT'S YOUR FAULT I FEEL THIS WAY!

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You think that the way you feel is due to what someone else said or did.

Before you can feel better…

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You think others need to change

.

6. I KNOW SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN SOON!

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You think that you always need to be on the watch for things to go wrong.

You worry about many things

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You think that if you worry you

will

prevent bad things

from happening

7. IT'S EASIER NOT TO EVEN TRY!

You think that it is easier to avoid difficult tasks than to face them.

Things are too hard, so you just choose to give up.

You don't want the

responsibility.

8. I NEED SOMEONE STRONGER THAN ME!

You think you MUST depend on someone. BECAUSE you are too weak to make decisions.

You Doubt Your Ability.

You feel you need someone else to direct you so you don’t fail.

9. I CAN'T HELP BEING THIS WAY!

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You think that the way you are now is a result of your upbringing and that you cannot change.

I Will Never Be Able To Change.

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10. I SHOULD GET UPSET ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!

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You think that you should fix others or their problems.

You think you need to tell others…

How to do

things.

11. THERE IS ONLY ONE GOOD WAY TO DO IT!

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other ways

are no good

If others don't do things YOUR WAY.

THEN IT IS AWFUL.

ELEVEN BELIEFS THAT WILL NOT CAUSE PROBLEMS

1. EVERYBODY DOES NOT HAVE TO LOVE MENor will they love you. Not everyone has to like you. It is

nice to be liked, but it is OK if not everyone likes or approves of you. Do you know anyone that everyone likes? Probably not, we are all different and that is what makes life interesting. Do your best and forget the rest.

2. IT IS OK TO MAKE MISTAKESWe are human and we all learn from mistakes. When we first

learned to walk we fell. We continued to fall sometimes, but each time we learned how to do things better and better. If you read about great people you will find that most fell in one way or another, but they continued to persevere.

3.OTHER PEOPLE ARE OK AND I AM OK.People are people and we all do things that may not be right,

or that others will disagree with. We cannot control other people. We can only control our own beliefs and actions. Remember the Serenity prayer.

4. I DON'T HAVE TO CONTROL THINGS.You will survive if things are different than you want

them to be. You can accept things the way they are. You may not like it, but you can live with it.

5. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY DAYYou are responsible for how you feel and for what you do.

No one can make you feel anything. Your attitude is the one thing you can always control.

6. I CAN HANDLE IT WHEN THINGS GO WRONGIt is interesting to note that most of the time things go

ok. If you have a business, you have to believe that most of the time you would do well. Much of what we worry about never happens.

7.IT IS IMPORTANT TO TRYYou can. It is important to believe that you can

make a difference and make a change, lest you create a self fulfilling prophecy .

You may be amazed at your ability. Even if you are not amazed, you can still do your best.

8. I AM CAPABLEYou do not need others to take care of your

problems. You can have people help you , but in the long run we must learn to "row our own boat". You are capable of many things.

9. I CAN CHANGE You do not have to be a certain way

because of your past. Everyday is a new day.

10. OTHER PEOPLE ARE CAPABLEYou can help people, but doing things for them, only makes

them dependent and feeling less capable themselves. You really steal from people when you fix things for them, but sending them the message that they themselves are not capable. Give the gift of allowing others to solve their own problems.

11. I CAN BE FLEXIBLEThere is often more than one way to do something. More

than one person has ideas that will work. Sometimes you have to step back. and give others a chance . It can be hard, but you cannot control other people.

Got It?Here is a little show to help remind you.http://youtu.be/lzS-xJOj_6E

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This slide show was created by Cassandra Gadouas on 1.11.14read more at: cassandrascounseling.com