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NEW PERSPECTIVES

Coaching 2 Workshop Session: Coaching Principles

Call2Compassion Uganda 2016

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Goals

1. Introduce key coaching principles of:

• authenticity,

• listening

• asking questions

2. Discover impact of such principles in our relationships and conversations

3. Motivate you to start applying these principles in your setting

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Code of Conduct

In this session:1. Mutual appreciation2. Authenticity3. Confidentiality4. Free to set boundaries, to

say no!

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Facilitating Authenticity

You are unique and important (1 Cor 12:14-19)

5 Characteristics for building authenticity:1. Specific: shared with details2. Significant: something I really care about3. Vulnerable: does not always portray me in a

position of strength; showing shortcoming and weakness

4. A gift/real: not sharing out of a need or an hidden agenda; it is a gift to you, the gift of being real

5. Relevant / up-to-date: something of my current life

Coaching is about transparent relationship• Influence relationship not an authority relationship• Start coaching by building relationship through

sharing of stories

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Coachee in the Starring Role

God has purpose and he is at work in a coachee’slife all along1)

Coachee can solve its own problems2)

• they know their situation and their setting best

• Indwelling of Holy Spirit guiding them

• Lord providing strength

Coachee

• is responsible in life

• is the expert

• sets the agenda

This frees the Coach

• from having to solve problems

• from having to give advise

• to dance with the coachee

Do not see the coachee as your project

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1) Ps 139; cf. Rom 8:29; Jn 16:13; 2) cf. Phil 2:12-13; Rom 12:1-2; 2) Phil 4:13

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The Gift of Listening

Scriptural wisdom and admonition:• To answer before listening is foolish

(Prov 18:13)• Quick to listen, slow to speak (Ja 1:19)

Turning off the discussion in your head• Can we really multitask?• Stop thinking of solving problems• Be curious: stop diagnosing and stop

passing judgmentBe fully available and give your

undivided attention

Listening my gift to the other:• appreciates, affirms and motivates • Discerns what God is saying and doing

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Questions Empower for Take Off

Why did Jesus ask questions?1)

Asking questions• Puts people in relationship on the same level• Honours and empowers people by showing interest, by taking them

seriously and affirming what they have to say• Acknowledges that people know most about their setting and life• Draws out of people: engaging them in personal reflection and exploration

(Prov 20:5)• Creates buy-in ensuring ownership and motivation to act• Makes people responsible and develops leaders by spurring pro-activity

Open / closed questions:• Closed: prompting a simple answer of yes or no. (decision making, closing

an issue, ensuring commitment)• Open: prompts wide answer for exploration (what, when, where, how)

Some mistakes in asking questions• Solution oriented: solution is given in the question• Leading: suggests how the question is to be answered• Rambling: lengthy and confused questions• Interpretive: putting a spin on what is said• Why questions: judgmental connotation (replace with ‘what’)

FOLLOW YOUR CURIOSITY and not diagnosis nor judgement

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1) Mt 16:15-16; Lk 20:24-25

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Listening for Meaning and Significance

• What is the person passionate about?

• Where is the person expressing emotions?

• Where is the energy in the conversation?

• Where are tone increases or variations?

• What body language?

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Pick up meaning and significance by listening for intuition indicators 1. Person’s own discernment, their own understanding (I think, I feel, I noticed …)2. Turning points: key actions and events that have caused this…3. Red flags: things that do not seem to fit or do not sit right (e.g.: my friend

stopped talking to me, but it did not bother me…)4. Strong emotions: I am really excited, or I am disappointed, or non-verbal, i.e.

emotions does not fit the cause5. Patterns: cause and effect relationships, repeated outcomes in behaviour or

thinking

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Exploring Significance Indicators

Principles for exploration• Do not interpret and solve problems• Intuition indicators do not show a problem, they show

where to ask

Listening for significance technique• Explore indicators that attract your interest / curiosity

by observation question technique: “You mentioned … tell me more”

• Gaining depth by asking “tell me more” • Gaining breadth by asking “What else?”

Simple, succinct and clear questions • uphold the flow of personal reflection in a person• Helps drawing out of a person• Frees the coach to active listening, without having to

figure out the next question

What does exploration do?• Deepens the coaching conversation• Gathers all the information needed to solve the

problem without jumping to solutions

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Your next step

What is your learning?

What are your next steps?

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Follow-up: How Lighthouse Empowering Can Serve You

During conference:• Elaborate possibilities for implementing coaching in your setting• Experience coaching personally • Discuss other areas of need

Post-conference:• Experience coaching personally • Dedicated coaching workshop for implementing coaching • Mentor coaching• Organisation development• Enter contact sheet in front for me to stay in contact with you

Contact details:• Email: john.koch@lh-emp.com• Web: www. lh-emp.com• Mobile: +41 79 285 89 64• Skype: kochbugs

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Q&A

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