Writing cohesion

COHESION: Reference words

www.slideshare.net/pietvanderlaan/cohesion-reference-words adapted

REFERENCE WORDS INCLUDE:

• it / they / them• this / that• these / those• the former / the latter / respectively

• who /which / that• one / ones• such

REFERENCE WORDS ARE USED TO:

• refer back to people, objects and ideas that have been mentioned earlier, or

• refer forward to people, objects and ideas that will be mentioned later.

These words allow the writer to avoid repeating words, paragraphs, and

sometimes whole sentences.

IT / THEY / THEMUsed to replace subjects / ideas

previously mentioned

Example:Relocating the research facility would seem sensible.

It would save the company a considerable amount of money each year.

Relocating the research facility would seem sensible.

It would save the company a considerable amount of money each year.

Bavaria is an attractive region in which to live.

It has mountains and lakes, and is close to the

ski resorts in Germany and Austria.

IT / THEY / THEM

Bavaria is an attractive region in which to live.

It has mountains and lakes, and is close to the

ski resorts in Germany and Austria.

We have received large numbers of reports about the economic outlook in Japan. We are studying them carefully. They contain useful marketing information.

IT / THEY / THEM

We have received large numbers of reports about the economic outlook in Japan. We are studying them carefully. They contain useful marketing information.

THIS / THAT / THESE / THOSETHIS & THESE are used to refer to objects /

ideas that are near in place or time.

For example, ‘this/these proposal(s)’ mean(s) the one(s) just made or about to be made.

THAT & THOSE are used to refer to objects / ideas that are more remote in place or time.

At our recent meeting, you suggested we

establish a joint venture in Japan. This

seems to be an attractive proposal, and I

should like to discuss it with you further.

At our recent meeting, you suggested we

establish a joint venture in Japan. This seems

to be an attractive proposal, and I should like to

discuss it with you further.

THIS / THAT / THESE / THOSE

Thank you for sending me some samples of

your products. These are being inspected by

our engineers and we expect to make a

purchase order in the near future.

Thank you for sending me some samples of

your products. These are being inspected

by our engineers and we expect to make a

purchase order in the near future.


The Prime minister was accused in the

press of wishing to increase taxation. That is

not the policy of the government, however,

and the press reports are incorrect.

The Prime minister was accused in the

press of wishing to increase taxation. That

is not the policy of the government,

however, and the press reports are

incorrect.


Queries from customers are dealt with by the

Customer Services Department. Those who

complain receive an answer within 24 hours.

Queries from customers are dealt with by the

Customer Services Department. Those who

complain receive an answer within 24 hours.


When you have written about 2 subjects/2 ideas, you may then wish to refer to them again in the next sentence.

If you write ‘it’ or ‘he’, the reader may not understand which of the 2 you are referring to.

THE FORMER / THE LATTER

You can use:

•‘the former’ which refers to the 1st mentioned of 2 items•‘the latter’ which refers to the 2nd mentioned of 2 items•‘respectively’ which refers to each of the items in the order in which they were written, the former, then the latter


Last week , we experienced production

problems at our plants in Leeds and London. At

the former, there was a two-day strike by the

workers. At the latter, there was a machine

breakdown. Output, as a percentage of normal

capacity at these factories was 60% and 75%

respectively.

Last week , we experienced production

problems at our plants in Leeds and London. At

the former, there was a two-day strike by the

workers. At the latter, there was a machine

breakdown. Output, as a percentage of normal

capacity at these factories was 60% and 75%

respectively.


We will be visited on Tuesday 12 March by Mr.

Laclos and Mr. Ibsen. The former is Managing

Director of our operation in France and Italy.


We will be visited on Tuesday 12 March by Mr.

Laclos and Mr. Ibsen. The former is Managing

Director of our operation in France and Italy.

Our new 6 series and 8 series models sell for

60,000 US dollars and 100,000 US dollars

respectively.


Our new 6 series and 8 series models sell for

60,000 US dollars and 100,000 US dollars

respectively.

‘Who’ refers only to people. ‘Which’ refers to things or ideas. ‘That’ refers to people, things or ideas, and can be used instead of who and which.

WHO / WHICH / THAT

Examples: Thank you for your letter of 25 October, which I received today.

A dispute has arisen between management and the sales staff who think that they are being asked to do too much.

At the conference, Mr. Naumann will talk about the developments that are taking place in the company.

WHO / WHICH / THAT

‘WHICH’ can be used with ‘ALL of’, ‘SOME OF’ or ‘NONE OF’ to qualify the amount / # of things

being referred to.

WHO / WHICH / THAT

The computers, all of which have been upgraded, will be in use from the beginning of next month.

The goods, some of which have been dispatched already, should all have arrived by next Friday.

The prices, none of which has been changed, are listed in the brochure.

WHO / WHICH / THAT

‘One’ (singular) or ‘ones’ (plural) can be used as a substitute for a noun that has previously been mentioned.

ONE / ONES

Example: There are two relevant laws. The most important one refers to the rates of tax applicable.

Example: There are two relevant laws. The most important one refers to the rates of tax applicable.

I have quite a large number of 35 millimeter

slides that you could borrow. I can let you have

any of the ones I don’t need myself.

ONE / ONES I have quite a large number of 35 millimeter

slides that you could borrow. I can let you have

any of the ones I don’t need myself.

‘One of which’ can be used to refer to an item from a number of previously mentioned items.

ONE / ONES

Example: There are many problems to

overcome, one of which is the security issue.

Example: There are many problems to

overcome, one of which is the security issue.

‘One of whom’ can be used to refer to one person from a number of previously mentioned people.

ONE / ONES

Example: There are 3 new production assistants,

one of whom is a French graduate.

Example: There are 3 new production assistants,

one of whom is a French graduate.

SUCH‘Such’ refers to things or people of a similar

type to ones previously mentioned.

Example: Profits form selling investments are

capital gains. Such gains are taxable at a rate of

40%.

Example: Profits form selling investments are

capital gains. Such gains are taxable at a rate of

40%.

COHESION: Linking Words & Phrases

REINFORCEMENT / ADDITION•Desktop computers are cheaper and more reliable than laptops; furthermore, they are more flexible.

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Also Furthermore MoreoverBesides What is more In additionAbove all In the same way As well (as) Not only ... but also

REINFORCEMENT / ADDITIONIn the first place, no "burning" in the sense of combustion, as in the burning of wood, occurs in a volcano; moreover, volcanoes are not necessarily mountains; furthermore, the activity takes place not always at the summit but more commonly on the sides or flanks; and finally, the "smoke" is not smoke but condensed steam. (Fred Bullard, Volcanoes in History)


RESULT/CONSEQUENCE•Prices fell by more than 20% last year. As a result, sales increased by 15%.

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RESULT/CONSEQUENCEThe ideologue is often brilliant. Consequently some of us distrust brilliance when we should distrust the ideologue. (Clifton Fadiman)


GENERALISING•On the whole, his speech was well received, despite some complaints from new members.

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usually

COHESION: Linking Words & PhrasesCONCESSION / CONTRASTIt was a very expensive holiday, the weather was bad and the people weren’t very friendly. Nevertheless, we would probably go back to the same place..

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CONCESSION / CONTRASTEvery American, to the last man, lays claim to a “sense” of humor and guards it as his most significant spiritual trait, yet rejects humor as a contaminating element wherever found. America is a nation of comics and comedians; nevertheless, humor has no stature and is accepted only after the death of the perpetrator. (E. B. White)

CONCESSION / CONTRASTThe South East of the UK often has the coldest weather in the winter. Conversely, the North West of Scotland frequently has the mildest temperatures.


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CAUSE / EFFECTThe ideologue is often brilliant. Consequently some of us distrust brilliance when we should distrust the ideologue. (Clifton Fadiman)


COMPARISONWhen you start with a portrait and search for a pure form, a clear volume, through successive eliminations, you arrive inevitably at the egg. Likewise, starting with the egg and following the same process in reverse, one finishes with the portrait. (Pablo Picasso)

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CONCLUSION / SUMMARYReporters are not paid to operate in retrospect. Because when news begins to solidify into current events and finally harden into history, it is the stories we didn’t write, the questions we didn’t ask that prove far, far more damaging than the ones we did. (Anna Quindlen)

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INSISTENCEThe joy of giving is indeed a pleasure, especially when you get rid of something you don’t want.(Frank Butler, Going My Way)

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COHESION: Linking Words & PhrasesRESTATEMENTAnthropologist Geoffrey Gorer studied the few peaceful human tribes and discovered one common characteristic: sex roles were not polarized. Differences of dress and occupation were at a minimum. Society in other words, was not using sexual blackmail as a way of getting women to do cheap labor, or men to be aggressive. (Gloria Steinem, "What It Would Be Like If Women Win")

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COHESION: Linking Words & PhrasesTIMEAt first a toy, then a mode of transportation for the rich, the automobile was designed as man's mechanical servant. Later it became part of the pattern of living.

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TRANSITION WORD EXERCISE

Choose the best alternative

1. Polls show that Tony Blair is the most popular Prime Minister this century. In particular, / However / For Instance there are even members of his own party who are uneasy with his approach.

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1. Polls show that Tony Blair is the most popular Prime Minister this century. HOWEVER there are even members of his own party who are uneasy with his approach.

2. There are some slight variations in temperature, but consequently / otherwise / as a rule 26 to 27ºC should be expected.

3. The two main Channel Islands, for example / namely / in particular Jersey and Guernsey, are much closer to France than to England.

4. It was announced that nurses' working hours would be increased by 25%. As a result / So that / Likewise, even fewer trainee nurses are expected to join the profession. 37

2. There are some slight variations in temperature, but AS A RULE 26 to 27ºC should be expected.

3. The two main Channel Islands, NAMELY Jersey and Guernsey, are much closer to France than to England.

4. It was announced that nurses' working hours would be increased by 25%. AS A RESULT, even fewer trainee nurses are expected to join the profession.

5. Sales of CDs have experienced a small but steady fall over the past 12 months. Above all / Correspondingly / In contrast, vinyl records have seen an increase in their share of the market, up to 1.7%.

6. The Chancellor explained that in light of the current financial climate & because of unexpected bad debts, it would be necessary to peg salary levels at their current level for all grades of staff. Nevertheless / In other words / Similarly, no-one was getting a pay rise.38

5. Sales of CDs have experienced a small but steady fall over the past 12 months. IN CONTRAST, vinyl records have seen an increase in their share of the market, up to 1.7%.6. The Chancellor explained that in light of the current financial climate & because of unexpected bad debts, it would be necessary to peg salary levels at their current level for all grades of staff. IN OTHER WORDS, no-one was getting a pay rise.

7. It is clear, therefore, that the situation in Brazil will improve only slowly. Furthermore / In comparison / With reference to the economic problems being experienced in Japan, the outlook is slightly more optimistic.

8. In order to try to reduce car use in the inner cities, the government has announced new restrictions on company parking spaces and as well as / in addition / in the same way, a new tax on individual car use.

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7. It is clear, therefore, that the situation in Brazil will improve only slowly. WITH REFERENCE to the economic problems being experienced in Japan, the outlook is slightly more optimistic.

8. In order to try to reduce car use in the inner cities, the government has announced new restrictions on company parking spaces and IN ADDITION, a new tax on individual car use.

9. Essays must be handed in by the deadline, obviously / otherwise / as a result they will not be marked.

10. Nevertheless / Because / Even though it has been shown that fractures can occur at even relatively low pressures, the use of the material should not be completely discounted.

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9. Essays must be handed in by the deadline, OTHERWISE they will not be marked.

10. EVEN THOUGH it has been shown that fractures can occur at even relatively low pressures, the use of the material should not be completely discounted.

Exercise 2

INSTRUCTIONS: •In the following short passages, pick out the transitional words and phrases that are used to provide cohesion.

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IDENTIFYING TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS

1. Very often I must wait weeks and weeks for what you call "inspiration." In the meantime I must sit with my quill pen poised in the air over a sheet of foolscap, in case the divine spark should come like a lightning bolt and knock me off my chair on to my head. ("How I Create," by Robert Benchley)

2. For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure. And therefore a man must know how to estimate a sour face. ("Self-Reliance," by Ralph Waldo Emerson) 42

In the meantime I

And therefore a man must

3. Well, what I mean by Education is learning the rules of this mighty game. In other words, education is the instruction of the intellect in the laws of Nature, under which name I include not merely things and their forces, but men and their ways... ("A Liberal Education," by Thomas Henry Huxley)

4. What has been gained for the systematic teaching of composition and literature will not, I trust, be lost. Besides, the older grammatical teaching must give way to something more accurate, more interesting, and more effective. ("The Teaching of English Grammar," by Oliver Farrar Emerson)

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In other words,

Besides ,

5. Time had not been kind to the shepherdess, nor to her charges, whose waterlogged wool was stained with the evidence of a long and unforgiving winter. Farther along the road these homes gave way to tents and campers equipped with pop-up roofs and jury-rigged awnings made of plastic and fronted by mosquito netting. ("Naked," by David Sedaris)

6. Occasionally, out of sheer human pity, we ignore our high and mighty standard and pass them. Usually, however, the standard, and not the candidate, commands our fidelity. ("The Ph.D. Octopus," by William James)

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Farther along

however,

7. Though they live in the very thick of the human race, they are forever isolated from it. They are fated to go through life, congenial pariahs. They live out their little lives, mingling with the world, yet never a part of it. They are, in short, Good Souls. ("Good Souls," by Dorothy Parker)

8. McSorley's bar is short, accommodating approximately ten elbows, and is shored up with iron pipes. It is to the right as you enter. To the left is a row of armchairs with their stiff backs against the wainscoting. ("The Old House at Home," by Joseph Mitchell) 45

,in short,

iron pipes. It is to the right as you enter. To the left

9. Aristotle, in his sketch of the magnanimous man, tells us that his voice is deep, his motions slow, and his stature commanding. In like manner, the elocution of a great intellect is great. (The Idea of a University, by John Henry Newman)

10. Who gives quickly, says the old proverb, gives twice. For this reason I have purposely delayed writing to you, lest I should appear to thank you more than once for the small, cheap, hideous present you sent me on the occasion of my recent wedding. ("The Writing of Essays," by Charles S. Brooks)

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stature commanding. In like manner, the elocution of a

For this reason

11. It does seem as if rather a richer flavor were given to a book by knowing the circumstance of its composition. Consequently readers, as they grow older, turn more and more to biography. ("The Writing of Essays," by Charles S. Brooks)

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Consequently

12. If you own things, what's their effect on you? What's the effect on me of my wood? In the first place, it makes me feel heavy. Property does have this effect. ("My Wood," by E.M. Forster)

In the first place,

13. There exists, it appears, a class of persons who, either through ignorance or indifference, or often through both combined, are doing all in their power to corrupt the English tongue. Their efforts are too largely successful. There is accordingly no salvation for the speech unless heroic measures are taken to guard it from the perils threatening its purity. ("The Standard of Usage in English," by Thomas R. Lounsbury)

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accordingly

14. [Margaret Fuller] often passes in one breath from forcible reasoning to dreamy vagueness; moreover, her unusually varied culture gives her great command of illustration. Mary Wollstonecraft, on the other hand, is nothing if not rational; she has no erudition, and her grave pages are lit up by no ray of fancy. ("Margaret Fuller and Mary Wollstonecraft," by George Eliot)

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moreover,

on the other hand,

15. There are, indeed, many other jobs that are unpleasant, and yet no one thinks of abolishing them--that of the plumber, that of the soldier, that of the garbage-man, that of the priest hearing confessions, that of the sand-hog, and so on. Moreover, what evidence is there that any actual hangman complains of his work? I have heard none. On the contrary, I have known many who delighted in their ancient art, and practiced it proudly. ("The Penalty of Death," by H.L. Mencken)

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Moreover,

On the contrary,

COHESION PRACTICE:

INSTRUCTIONS: Combine the sentences in each set into 2 clear and concise sentences, eliminating needless repetition.

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Combining & Connecting Sentences

INSTEAD

Retirement should be the reward for a lifetime of work. INSTEAD, it is widely viewed as a sort of punishment for growing old.

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1. Retirement should be the reward for a lifetime of work. It is widely viewed as a sort of punishment. It is a punishment for growing old.

THEREFORE

In recent years viruses have been shown to cause cancer not only in chickens but also in mice, cats, and even in some primates. THEREFORE, it is a reasonable hypothesis that viruses might cause cancer in humans. 53

2. In recent years viruses have been shown to cause cancer in chickens. Viruses have also been shown to cause cancer in mice, cats, and even in some primates. Viruses might cause cancer in humans. This is a reasonable hypothesis.

IN FACT

We do not seek solitude. IN FACT, if we find ourselves alone for once, we flick a switch and invite the whole world in through the television screen. (Eugene Raskin, "Walls and Barriers")

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3. We do not seek solitude. If we find ourselves alone for once, we flick a switch. We invite the whole world in. The world comes in through the television screen.

ON THE CONTRARY

We were not irresponsible. ON THE CONTRARY, we were trained to think that each of us should do something that would be of genuine usefulness to the world.(Lillian Smith, Killers of the Dream)

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4. We were not irresponsible. Each of us should do something. This thing would be of genuine usefulness to the world. We were trained to think that.

HOWEVER

Little girls, of course, don't take toy guns out of their hip pockets and say "Pow, pow" to all their neighbors and friends like average well-adjusted little boys. HOWEVER, if we gave little girls the six-shooters, we would soon have double the pretend body count. (Anne Roiphe, "Confessions of a Female Chauvinist Sow")

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5. Little girls, of course, don't take toy guns out of their hip pockets. They do not say "Pow, pow" to all their neighbors and friends. The average well-adjusted little boy does this. If we gave little girls the six-shooters, we would soon have double the pretend body count.

NEXT

We drove the wagon close to a corner post, twisted the end of the wire around it one foot above the ground, and stapled it fast. NEXT, we drove along the line of posts for about 200 yards, unreeling the wire on the ground behind us. (John Fischer, "Barbed Wire") 57

6. We drove the wagon close to a corner post. We twisted the end of the wire around it. We twisted the wire one foot above the ground. We stapled it fast. We drove along the line of posts. We drove for about 200 yards. We unreeled the wire on the ground behind us.

INDEED

We know very little about pain and what we don't know makes it hurt all the more. INDEED, no form of illiteracy in the United States is so widespread or costly as ignorance about pain. (Norman Cousins, "Pain Is Not the Ultimate Enemy”) 58

7. We know very little about pain. What we don't know makes it hurt all the more. There is ignorance about pain. No form of illiteracy in the United States is so widespread. No form of illiteracy in the United States is so costly.

MOREOVER

Many of our street girls can be as vicious and money mad as any corporation president. MOREOVER, they can be less emotional than men in conducting acts of personal violence. (Gail Sheehy, "$70,000 a Year, Tax Free") 59

8. Many of our street girls can be as vicious as any corporation president. Many of our street girls can be as money mad as any corporation president. They can be less emotional than men. They can be less emotional in conducting acts of personal violence.

FOR THIS REASON

The historical sciences have made us very conscious of our past, and of the world as a machine generating successive events out of foregoing ones. FOR THIS REASON, some scholars tend to look totally backward in their interpretation of the human future. (Loren Eiseley, The Unexpected Universe”)

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9. The historical sciences have made us very conscious of our past. They have made us conscious of the world as a machine. The machine generates successive events out of foregoing ones. Some scholars tend to look totally backward. They look backward in their interpretation of the human future.

HOWEVER

Rewriting is something that most writers find they have to do to discover what they have to say and how to say it. There are, HOWEVER, a few writers who do little formal rewriting because they have the capacity and experience to create and review a large number of invisible drafts in their minds before they approach the page. (Donald M. Murray, "The Maker's Eye: Revising Your Own Manuscipts”) 61

10. Rewriting is something that most writers find they have to do. They rewrite to discover what they have to say. They rewrite to discover how to say it. There are a few writers who do little formal rewriting. They have capacity and experience. They create and review a large number of invisible drafts. They create and review in their minds. They do this before they approach the page.

COHESION PRACTICE:

INSTRUCTIONS: Organize these five sentences into a cohesive paragraph by adding appropriate transitional words and phrases to sentences number 2, 3, and 5.

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Learning Under Pressure

1 Dr. E.C. Tolman, after experimenting with rats over a long period of years, found that rats that learned to run a maze under the pressure of hunger took much longer to learn the maze than rats that learned under non-crisis conditions.2 The learning that did take place was of a narrow type.3 After learning the "right" route, these rats panicked if one avenue were blocked off.4 They were not able to survey the field to notice alternative routes.5 When the rats were permitted to learn under non-crisis conditions, they later performed well in a crisis.63

Dr. E.C. Tolman, after experimenting with rats over a long period of years, found that rats that learned to run a maze under the pressure of hunger took much longer to learn the maze than rats that learned under non-crisis conditions. Furthermore, the learning that did take place was of a narrow type. That is, after learning the "right" route, these rats panicked if one avenue were blocked off. They were not able to survey the field to notice alternative routes. On the other hand, when the rats were permitted to learn under non-crisis conditions, they later performed well in a crisis. (adapted from How to Study in College, by Walter S. Pauk, Houghton Mifflin, 2000)

COHESION PRACTICE:

INSTRUCTIONS: Organize these seven sentences into two cohesive paragraphs by adding appropriate transitional words and phrases to sentences number 2, 3, 5, and 7.

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Energy Efficiency

1 There is a source of energy that produces no radioactive waste, nothing in the way of petrodollars, and very little pollution.2 The source can provide the energy that conventional sources may not be able to furnish.3 Unhappily, it does not receive the emphasis and attention it deserves.4 The source might be called energy efficiency, for Americans like to think of themselves as efficient people.5 The energy source is generally known by the more prosaic term conservation.6 To be semantically accurate, the source should be called conservation energy, to remind us of the reality--that conservation is no less an energy alternative than oil, gas, coal, or nuclear.7 In the near term, conservation could do no more than any of the conventional sources to help the country deal with the energy problem it has. 65

There is a source of energy that produces no radioactive waste, nothing in the way of petrodollars, and very little pollution. Moreover, the source can provide the energy that conventional sources may not be able to furnish. Unhappily, however, it does not receive the emphasis and attention it deserves. 2nd paragraph: The source might be called energy efficiency, for Americans like to think of themselves as efficient people. But the energy source is generally known by the more prosaic term conservation. To be semantically accurate, the source should be called conservation energy, to remind us of the reality--that conservation is no less an energy alternative than oil, gas, coal, or nuclear. Indeed, in the near term, conservation could do no more than any of the conventional sources to help the country deal with the energy problem it has. (adapted from Energy Future, by Daniel Yergin, Random House, 1979)