The Truth About EelsThe Truth About Eels

Mike DickisonMike Dickison

Duke UniversityDuke University

People who are Actually EelsPeople who are Actually Eels

■ Dick CheneyDick Cheney■ Beck (wears wig)■ Sammy Sosa

■ How to detect? Only eat twinkies.

Where are Eels Found?Where are Eels Found?

■ IcelandIceland■ Equatorial GuineaEquatorial Guinea■ San Marino*San Marino*

*Population entirely eels*Population entirely eels

■ Unconfirmed reports from other areas

What do Eels Eat?What do Eels Eat?

■ TwinkiesTwinkies■ Small crustaceansSmall crustaceans■ Daube provençaleDaube provençale■ Mostly Twinkies, though*Mostly Twinkies, though*

*Majority shareholders in Hostess Inc.*Majority shareholders in Hostess Inc.

TheThe Incredible Story Incredible Story ofofEel ReproductionEel Reproduction

1.1. Female eels travel vast distances to Female eels travel vast distances to spawn in the Sargasso Sea.spawn in the Sargasso Sea.

TheThe Incredible Story Incredible Story ofofEel ReproductionEel Reproduction

2.2. Male eels ship sperm via FedEx to Boise, Male eels ship sperm via FedEx to Boise, where it fills Twinkies, airdropped in sea.where it fills Twinkies, airdropped in sea.

Amazing Eel FactsAmazing Eel Facts

■ Ben Franklin was an eel and thus reluctant to Ben Franklin was an eel and thus reluctant to sign the Declaration of Independence.sign the Declaration of Independence.

■ Eels can clumsily fly short distances, but not Eels can clumsily fly short distances, but not when anyone is watching.when anyone is watching.

■ Strange beeping noises that interrupt cell phone Strange beeping noises that interrupt cell phone calls are eels singing to each other.calls are eels singing to each other.

■ Eels solved Fermat’s Last Theorem in 1922, but Eels solved Fermat’s Last Theorem in 1922, but were too shy to tell anyone.were too shy to tell anyone.

■ Scarcely any eels enjoyed Scarcely any eels enjoyed Dances with Wolves.Dances with Wolves.

Eels: Our Slimy FriendsEels: Our Slimy Friends

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