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Intergenerational Befriending
4th March 2015
“Befriending is a relationship between a trained volunteer and an isolated or lonely individual (befriendee), which is initiated, supported and monitored by a voluntary or statutory agency”
Definition of befriending
Befriending is … (yes / no / maybe)
1. Just like friendship
2. A way to provide respite for the befriendee’s
carer
3. Focused mainly on building a good relationship
between the befriender and the befriendee
4. Giving advice to befriendees about lifestyle and
behaviour
Befriending and friendship
Befriending involves creating and maintaining a personal relationship, so
there are obviously elements of friendship
present in a befriending relationship.
Befriending and friendship
However, there are important differences. Whilst
friendly, it is a professional relationship governed by
boundaries and carried out in line with the outcomes of the supervising organisation.
It’s all about the relationship
The relationship itself is the main focus of a befriending
relationship. This is why good communication skills and an open, empathic attitude are
the most important characteristics of a befriender.
Giving advice
Befrienders and coordinators of
befriending services often provide useful information about
health and lifestyle to befriendees if
requested.
Giving advice
However, this is very different from giving advice and it is not part of the befriender’s role to give advice about any aspect of
lifestyle or behaviour even if they are an expert in that field
in their professional life.
Befriending is … (yes / no / maybe)
5. Focused on supporting the befriendee to reach
certain goals
6. The key to solving all the befriendee’s problems
7. Giving help with practical tasks and problems
8. About the befriender as much as about the
befriendee
Befriending and goals
Befriending is about the relationship and the quality of the time spent together. Many
personal goals may be achieved as a result of the increased confidence and wellbeing
which this relationship brings …
Befriending and goals
… and befrienders can be instrumental in supporting
befriendees to resolve practical issues, BUT these
are all essentially a by-product of the relationship
itself.
The scope of befriending
Befriending can have a powerful positive impact on the life of an
isolated or lonely person, but it is important not to make promises which are either too wide or too
specific to be realistically fulfilled.
Befriending and the befriender
It is essential that the relationship is right for the
befriender too. Coordinators need to check in regularly with
befrienders to make sure they’re happy with how things are
going.
Befriending is … (yes / no / maybe)
9. An informal way of providing counselling or
therapy
10. Providing a relationship that others in the
client’s life can not
11. Something a befriendee can turn to in an
emergency
12. Something which essentially only involves two
people – the befriender and the befriendee
Befriending is unique
Befriending services work with people who lack
meaningful informal social relationships. The essential
support they provide is usually not available to
befriendees in any other form.
Not an emergency service
Befriending is a long-term, preventative intervention.
Though befrienders need to be trained on how to respond
should an emergency arise while they are with their befriender ….
Not an emergency service
… organisations must make it clear to befriendees and
befrienders alike that befrienders are not
there to be called upon I an emergency.
Models of befriending delivery
Face-to-face:
1:1
Groups
Distance:
Telephone
Email / letter
Intergenerational Projects:
Residential setting
Befrienders in groups
???
The future of befriending is waiting to be written!
Delivery models
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
Starting Up
• Location, Location, Location
• Appropriate time to run sessions
• Staff time
• Volunteer Supervisor
• Abilities
WELLBEING
Recruiting young people
• Good contact within
school
• Talking at assembly
or in class
• School magazine
• Posters
WELLBEING
Training
• Perceptions
• Confidentiality
• Boundaries
• Dementia
• Dilemmas
WELLBEING
1st Session
Getting to know each
other: Badge Making
• Interests
• Skills
• Abilities
WELLBEING
The aim is never the activity but always a smile!
• Talking
• Listening
• Laughing
• Touch
WELLBEING
Planning a programme
• Use peoples interests
• Use peoples skills and talents
• Alter activities depending on group
WELLBEING
Project Evaluation
• After every session
• After every block
/term
• Quotes
WELLBEING
Activities
• Seasonal
• Themed
• Using every sense
WELLBEING
Benefits
• Residents
• Young people
• Staff
• Families
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
WELLBEING
The benefits of befriending
Increased confidence and self-esteem
Increased involvement with communities
More able to manage challenges of everyday life
The benefits of befriending
More cohesive and integrated communities communities
Less pressure on health and social care services
Reductions in rates of crime, homelessness, substance abuse and suicide
The benefits of intergenerational befriending
Greater communication and understanding between young and old
Befrienders learn skills from past they have no other way of learning about. They impart ‘modern’ skills which will be useful to the befriendee
Befriendees enjoy knowing that their skills and knowledge are appreciated. They gain practical knowledge of of new skills
Discussion questions
What might be the benefits to your client group of developing an
intergenerational befriending project?
What do you think would be the main challenges facing your
organisation in developing an intergenerational project? What
resources would you need to overcome them?
What three actions could you take in the next month towards the
development of an intergenerational befriending project?
Intergenerational Befriending
www.befriending.co.ukwww.strive.me.uk