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School Mediation student training
Who are we?
PLAY AND LEARN
HOW TO MEDIATE
Group activity In a go around when a person gets the ball from facilitator says: . their name . where they are from . their date of birth Everybody gets up and forms a line based on birthday
What do you know about school mediation? Does
your school have a mediation program? Is
anyone in here a mediator?
Peer Mediation Program
Most widely used conflict resolution program in schools
Conflict Resolution Tool
Instead of disciplinary actions:
Suspension & Detention
Time-consuming role
“Our school is a place where we can talk about our differences. We don’t have to
fight to get justice.”
Peer Mediation attacks the problem not the person.
Peer Mediation Results
•Peer mediation programs are very successful when students are trained effectively--
58%-93% of the time success was achieved.
Success is measured if agreement was reached and maintained
•A 36% reduction of school wide general disruptive behavior, this includes fighting, verbal abuse, and arguments •Two studies have shown that peer mediation has reduced 75% of the occurrences of suspensions
Topics to be covered:
Anger Conflict
Communication Mediation
Silent mobiles
Confidentiality
Respect
Listen
Wait for turn to speak
Refer to the other person with their name
No use of violence
Express personal opinions/ideas/stories
Group Rules
Group Exercise
My favorite activity is…
I don’t like having to do…
When I see someone fighting I feel…
I get angry when ...
I relax when…
To resolve conflicts, we need to understand them. To do so, we have to get to
know the feeling that leads to people fighting-
Anger
Anger
Agitation
Rage
Comment
What do you expect out of this training?
Video-The Fly Let’s see how this warrior reacted when a fly cut off his meditation….
The fly
How we get angry…
Πόσο καταστροφικός μπορεί να είναι;
Can you tell before you get angry? What signals do you get?
Anger is a reaction feeling to what?
Indications of tension episodes
Do you have conflicts in your school?
What kind?
What happens usually?
How do people react?
How do spectators react?
What follows?
How are conflicts resolved?
Let’s examine what conflict is
Scenarios
Two students call each other names at lunch time. It started when Mike, cut Josh
off in the line for lunch. Josh got angry and yelled at Mike who reacted by calling him
“stupid”.
Who is right? When a similar incident happens, how do you
react? How people react in your environment?
Τι βρίσκεται πίσω από το θυμό; Ποια αισθήματα;
What feelings might there be behind anger?
fear, shame, disappointment, trauma, exploitation,
jealousy, loss
Threat leads to Anger
Anger = Threat
Exercise - «The Thermometer» Draw a thermometer with indexes from 0-10. At every point of the marker on one side write something that raises anger. On the other side, write from 9 to 0, activities or images that can help reduce the intensity of anger. Close your eyes and imagine the thermometer. Think of something that angers you. Then bring into mind a calming picture. Now imagine the mercury descending slowly towards 0.
Drawing exercise-How our body changes before and after we get
angry
Draw you and write or draw how your mind and body reacts when
getting angry
How our body changes before and after we get angry
Diffusing Anger-Tools
Ways to release tension
1. Count to 10
2. Take deep breaths
3. Change the way you sit, or move to another place
4. Think of a beautiful image
Remember:
1. Don’t take it personally
2. Every person is entitled to his/her own opinion
3. Let it go
4. There are solutions
5. This is not my problem
Peace & Quiet
Tension
Escalation
Climax
De-escalation
Restoration
The Conflict Curve
Iris Center: http://iris.peabody.vanderbilt.edu
Trigger
Is violence necessary?
• We cannot control the behavior of a person who breaks out with anger. But we do have control
over how we respond.
Anger Management-Basic Principles
Role Playing
While walking with friends in the school corridor, Josh is pushed by another student. This happens often (not only towards Josh), by a group of students who think this is fun.
An example of conflict
What are possible reactions in this scenario?
How can you respond?
How can others react?
How others influence our reactions?
Questions:
Is what we see enough to explain a situation?
How fast do we react to phenomena?
Are we always right?
Were there occasions we regretted our reaction?
someone knows part of the story
someone heard wrong information
someone was confused or under stress
someone sees things differently
someone felt something was unfair
Which of the following is the problem behind a conflict?
Exercise-Take a vacation • Everyone standing • Stretch arms • Turn head right then left • Hands in the middle • Turn right and then left • Back in our seats • Lift the right hand in the air and write where
you’d like to be at the moment. • Then lift the other hand and write with whom
you’d like to be with in this place
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Understanding, Learning, Practicing, and Mastering:
Listening
Responding
Expressing
Ability to listen attentively
Bad Listening vs Good Listening Exercise
Go into pairs
Think of bad and good listening habits
Decide on frozen statue pose to show bad and
then good habits
When facilitator touches you, form your ‘bad’
statue, by touching you next, show your
‘good’ statue
Listening Attentively Exercise-Following instructions Let’s act
1. Wash your car: Take everything you need: bucket, sponge, soap. Put them close to your car. Pull the water hose around and start to wash the car. Fill the bucket with water and soap. Dip the sponge. Sponge the front, the frame, the glass, the lights. Rinse everywhere. Polish around the car. Wipe the windows. ΄Step back and look at the job you did. Are you satisfied? Did you leave anything behind?
2. Imagine a baby’s diaper: raise your hands and take the child in changing table. Take a clean diaper, wipes, clothes to change. Take baby clothes off, wipe the child clean. Smile and make faces to entertain. Change the diaper and dress. Lift the baby in your hands and rock him to sleep.
Ability to understand feelings (yours and
other’s)
Exercise: "How I feel?" Today I ... ... Usually I feel ... ... When someone gets angry at me, I feel... ... When I witness a fight, I feel ... ... When someone makes fun at me, I feel ... ... When someone compliments me, I feel ... ... When someone rejects me, feel ... ... When someone challenges me into a fight, I feel ... When I do a good job I feel ... ... When I face injustice, I feel ... ... When someone rewards me I feel ... ...
“Matching the Feeling”
We start with some degree of intensity gradually decrease the intensity.
Anger Management Tools
Ability to observe
Wh
at d
o y
ou
see
?
I am dying!! You are
such a pessimist!
Ability to respond effectively
Response techniques: Paraphrase, Encourage,
Express yourself Assertively, Reflect
Feelings, Summarize
Expressing Yourself Assertively
Ways of Communication
e.g. I got anxious when you came back late from the break
because I might not finish the training on time
Assertiveness- Explaining your position in an affirmative manner
1. I…(say how you feel)
2. When…(explain what annoyed you)
3. Because… (explain how this affects you
Encouraging the other person to communicate
Objective: to show interest, encourage expression
“Tell us more about”
“What happened”
Encouraging Expression
Objective: To make the story more clear
Response:
“How many times did this happen?” (Factual)
“When you say you felt ' bad ' what exactly do you mean?“(Evaluative)
Factual and Evaluative Questions
Open Vs Closed Questions
Appropriate Questions ??????????????
Where… When… Who… What... How…
Although “why” is certainly an open-ended question, it’s better to avoid using it in a peer education setting since it can sometimes sound judgmental or make people defensive.
Exercise
Instructions
Facilitator places a piece of paper on students’ back. There will be a
famous person’s name on this paper.
You’ll need to find out who your person is by asking only questions that can be answered by “yes” or “no,” such as, “Am I a woman?” “Am I famous?” etc.”
Circulate around the room with names on their backs. They need to discover who they “are” by asking only questions that can be answered by “yes” or “no.”
10 minutes
In circle:
• How easy or difficult was it to discover who you were?
• What made it difficult?
• How did you feel while doing this activity?
Objective: to show that we are watching and we check if we have understood correctly
Way: We reaffirm what we heard in using our own words
Example: “What you are saying is that you did not want to hurt Mike’s feelings. Correct?”
Paraphrasing the Speaker
Objective: To show that we understand the emotions of the speaker
Example: “You sound upset”
Reflecting Feelings
Reflect back on the feelings of the person
Reflecting Feelings
EFFECTIVE PROBLEM RESPONSE-EXERCISE “My problem is that I study hard but I don’t seem to do well in tests” Respond in a manner that you believe will help If it helps the participant goes forward, if not he/she goes back. What helps? What doesn't ?
“Mirroring”
Anger Management Tools
What we need to avoid (interrogating, blaming, taking sides, explaining, advising)
Wrong communication will put people in defence. Since humans perceive this
as threat/attack, they respond with anger and/or aggression.
Avoid being Interrogative
Avoid Blaming
Avoid taking sides
Avoid explaining
Avoid advice
School Mediation
Exercise- “Not in my field” A roll of toilet paper goes around and each participant gets a piece which they roll into a ball The group splits into two teams facing each other The goal is to get all trash paper into the other half and keep your team’s part clean Facilitator signals for beginning and ending. Teams have one minute.
Never Burge
Voluntary
With or without Mediator/s
Focus on common interests rather than what sets them apart
Neutral
Balanced
Fair and Just
Win-Win solution
Follow-up
Principles Of Conflict Resolution
What kinds of disputes can be mediated?
Misunderstandings between students
Teasing or name-calling
Relationship arguments
Accusations of theft or destruction of property
Rumors and/or fights between groups
Peaceful Conflict Resolution-Principles
Right to your own opinion
Accept and respect the other person’s right to have a different opinion
Express yourself assertively but politely
Allow for alternatives
Work out a fair, satisfying solution for all involved
1. After good training and practice, mediators abide to
all the steps of peaceful conflict resolution.
2. They share the philosophy of restorative justice and
offer services in a neutral, fair, and respectful
manner.
3. They are able to communicate effectively and help
disputants:
engage in a positive dialogue, examine alternatives, and
find win-win solutions.
Mediator Readiness
The Mediation Process
• 1st stage-Introductions, Information, Rules
• 2nd Stage- Talk about the problem “What happened?"
• 3rd Stage-consider the consequences “What problems did you have because of that?"
• 4th Stage-Focus on feelings “How do you feel?"
• 5th Stage-Guided solution focusing “What do you suggest?"
• 6th Stage-Focusing on obstacles, summary, contract signing, follow-up, closure
1A. Pre-Mediation orientation (at least a day before mediation)
1B. Ground Rules: Confidentiality, Voluntary, Respect, No name calling, No
interruptions
Mediator roles: To assist both parties find their own win-win solution, to be
neutral and fair. Explanation of how the process works in school and during
mediation and what follows.
2. “What happened?"
3. “What problems did you have because of that?"
4. “How do you feel?"
5. “What do you suggest?"
6. Stage-Focusing on obstacles, summary, contract signing,
follow-up, reward-closure
Every disputant
responds in
turns. Equal
attention, equal
time to both.
During
response: Listen
carefully.
After every
response:
Paraphrase,
Reflect,
Summarize
SCHOOL MEDIATION CONTRACT
TEACHER: Mrs. Turpin- MEDIATOR 1: __________________
MEDIATOR 2: __________________
DATE: _________________ TIME: ______ PLACE: Gym
People Involved in Conflict:
1. ____________________ Grade: _____ RM: ____
2. ____________________ Grade: _____ RM: ____
3. ____________________ Grade: _____ RM: ____
4. ____________________ Grade: _____ RM: ____
What is the conflict?
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
PERSON 1 _________Agrees to: PERSON 2 _________Agrees to:
1. ___________________ 1. _______________________
2. ___________________ 2. _______________________
3. ___________________ 3. _______________________
Signature: __________________ Signature: __________________
Mediator Signature: _________________ __ Peer Mediator Signature:_______________
Was an Agreement Reached? YES_______ NO __________
Follow up: _______________________________________________
Scripts:
Student come to class late. Professor gets angry by his attitude and asks him to leave. The debate intensifies, while the student refuses to leave, making a fuss.
Schoolgirl decides to use her mobile during class. The teacher reprimands her, but instead of obeying, she starts to yell back.
END
Good job in resolving conflicts peacefully!
