(Pre Marriage Counseling Course)

Mātugāma Sutta & Purisa Sutta

Presented By

Ven. B.Dhammarama

SIBA-BABL 14-13

4th Semester

Sri Lanka International Buddhist Academy

Content

Introduction

What is Marriage?

Details on Mātugāma Sutta & Purisa Sutta

How should select one for marriage

• Rūpavā ca hoti

• Bhogavā ca hoti

• Sīlavā ca hoti

• Dakkho ca hoti analaso

• Pajamcassa labhati

Rules for a Happy Marriage

Conclusion

References

Introduction

pre-marriage counseling plays an important role in building healthy

marriages. Many marriage studies and researches have shown that

pre-marriage counseling helps reduce the possibility of divorce.

Couples who attend pre-marriage counseling are able to better

overcome challenges and difficulties.

Pre-marriage counseling sessions create an awareness of marital

issues and problems that might occur in marital relationship.

Pre-marriage counseling also assists people in determining if they

are fully ready for marriage.

What is Marriage?

If a man can find a suitable and

understanding wife and a woman

can find a suitable and

understanding husband, both are

fortunate indeed.

-The Buddha

The legal relationship between a

husband and wife

-Oxford Advanced Dictionary

What is Marriage?

Details on Mātugāma Sutta & Purisa Sutta

These both discourses (suttas) are in Mātugāma samyuttaya in Samyutta Nikāya or

the Connected Discoursers.

“paṅcahi bkikkhave angehi samannāgato mātugāmo…..”

“paṅcahi bkikkhave angehi samannāgato puriso……....”

The Buddha has uttered these discourses to declare some qualities that should be in

a man and a woman who are in young. In this sutta there are five aspects should be

considered by each and every young couples before their marriages. There by,

1. Rūpavā ca hoti - should be beautiful

2. Bhogavā ca hoti - should be wealthy

3. Sīlavā ca hoti - should be virtuous

4. Dakkho ca hoti analaso - should be clever & active

5. Pajamcassa labhati - should be a Begetter

How should select one for marriage

Rūpavā ca hoti Should be beautiful

Basic and the main point

which person’s mind attract

Both physical and mental

beauty

Having beauty is an important

for good sexual relationship

each other.

How should select one for marriage

Bhogavā ca hoti Should be wealthy

• Wealthy is the power of lay life

• The way of earning money

should be righteous

• Should be wealthy person with

both mental and material

• Wealthy of spiritually is the

ultimate goal of a lay life

Sīlavā ca hoti Should be virtuous

How should select one for marriage

• Should be protected Five

precepts

• Should be avoided from

Wrong Livelihood

• He or she should not have

any wrong affaires in

marriage life

Dakkho ca hoti analaso

How should select one for marriage

Should be clever and industrious

• Industrious or working hard is the

way of development

• Should be clever in doing their

roles

• Woman shouldn’t be lazy in

working house

• Husband and wife should be clever

and tactful to make heaven in their

family life

How should prepare for marriage

Beget children pajamcassa labhati

Making children

is a main

purpose of a

marriage

Rules for a Happy Marriage

Never both be angry at the same time.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.

If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.

Never bring up mistakes of the past.

Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

At least once everyday try to say one kind or

complementary thing to your life’s partner.

When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it

and ask for forgiveness.

Conclusion

Generally, the main goal of Buddhist Pre Marriage counseling is directed at

establishing equilibrium within the family. The mutual love, care and trust are

fundamental to the existence of a family. All of their problems can be resolved

through effective and open communication as partners. This gives rise to

happiness and balance.

In promoting happiness in married life, the late Venerable Dr. K. Sri

Dhammananda wrote the following to describe the mutual relationship that

should exist between man and wife. A wife should provide the husband with

love, attention, family expectations, trust, care of the children, household

efficiency, food preparation, help to resolve problems, and the support he

needs. In the same manner the husband has to fulfill toward his wife certain

duties such as kindness, courtesy, socialization, safety, fairness, affection,

honesty and civilized behavior and support.

References

Primary Sources

• Bhikkhu Bodhi (2000), The Connected Discourses of the Buddha, volume

ii, Wisdom Publication, 199 Elm Street, USA.

Secondary Sources

• Samyutta Nikaya, Buddha Jayanti Tripitaka, Buddhist Culturel Center,

Nedimala, Dehiwala, Sri Lanka.

• Ven. Dr. Sri Dhammananda K, A Happy Marriage Life, Awaken Publishing &

Design, 88 Bright Hill Road, Singapore.

Dictionary

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary. The Free Dictionary