Conflicts new flexability

LOGOAnna Poghsoyan

ConflictsConflicts20.03.2011

LOGOAgendaAgenda

Introduction to the session and aim & objectives Participants’ needs and expectationsDefinition of the conflict (the levels, sources,

function…)Exploring a conflict scenariosConflict Handling SkillsCommunication strategies for resolving conflict Negotiation techniques

www.themegallery.com

LOGOWorkshop OutcomesWorkshop Outcomes

The purpose of this workshop is to:

Help participants identify and understand conflict better;

Provide techniques for improving conflict resolution and communication skills;

Help participants resolve sample conflicts and build a climate of cooperation and be aware of and recognize cultural differences and needs


LOGOExpectationsExpectations

What do I want to get out of this workshop?

What do I want to contribute?


LOGOCode of ConductCode of Conduct

Respect: no verbal or physical abuse, religion segregation , racial discrimination, racist language or behavior is acceptable.

Space: people should have time and space to say what they need to, that means no interrupting, shouting down or hogging attention.

Care: people should do their best to be sensitive to the needs of the other members of the group; for example, listen quietly when difficult issues are being spoken about, be encouraging and positive, and frame critical remarks constructively.

Confidentiality: people should be free to say things that they wish to remain confidential and would say so if this is the case. Others need to respect the confidentiality.


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What do you think of when you hear the word “conflict"?

What feelings do you have

when you think about conflict?

WHAT IS CONFLICT?

What kinds of things have you seen that cause conflicts to happen?

What kinds of things have you done or seen people do that help to resolve

conflicts?

LOGODefinitions of Conflict Definitions of Conflict


….a disagreement between people where they seem to want two different things

....a struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power and resources (Lewis Coser)

.....a clash of ideas, interests, behaviours of two or more individuals or groups

…..a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups of people, which is sometimes, but not necessarily characterized by physical violence.

….an interaction or situation of tension between interdependent people who perceive incompatible interests, needs and goals.

….a disagreement between people where they seem to want two different things

....a struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power and resources (Lewis Coser)

.....a clash of ideas, interests, behaviours of two or more individuals or groups

…..a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups of people, which is sometimes, but not necessarily characterized by physical violence.

….an interaction or situation of tension between interdependent people who perceive incompatible interests, needs and goals.

LOGO Conflict is Constructive whenConflict is Constructive when

Results in clarification of important problems and issues

Results in solutions to problems Involves people in resolving issues important to

them Helps release emotion, anxiety, and stress Builds cooperation ad trust among people

through learning more about each other; Joining in resolving the conflict Helps individuals develop understanding and

skills


LOGO Conflict is Destructive whenConflict is Destructive when

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-concept Polarizes people and groups, reducing

cooperation it diverts energyIncreases or sharpens difference Leads to irresponsible and harmful behavior,

such as fighting, name-calling Parties take ‘either - or’ positions, believing their

way is right and develop negative feelings toward each other


LOGOKey Messages About ConflictKey Messages About Conflict

Conflict is neither good nor bad Conflict is inevitable Conflict does not have to result in winners

and losers In conflict both parties tend to believe that

their opinion is fact


LOGOKey Messages About ConflictKey Messages About Conflict

Too often both parties see themselves as innocent victims who represent the side of truth and fairness

Too often both parties perceive all destructive acts carried out by others completely blind to identical acts carried out by self or those on ‘my’ side.


LOGOConflict Types Conflict Types

Conflicts

• Political • Cultural•Ethnic •Religion • Economical •Psychological ...

•Interests•Roles •Values•Positions

Conflicts

LOGO

Conflict escalation stages Conflict escalation stages

Hidden stage

Struggle of

interests

Escalation stage De-

escalation stage

Open conflict or war

LOGO Conflict Stages Conflict Stages

They always rotate each other

CR

CC

AC

P

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Conflict stages Conflict stages

Conflict Conflict Hidden stage

Open actions stage

Conflict management and negotiations

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In result In result

Lost of recourses

1.1.1.1.

Price- benefit model

3.3.3.3.

Lost of social support

2.2.2.2.

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Sources of the conflict1

What causes conflict? 2

4

3Take a few minutes to identify common causes or sources of conflict in your family, your community, your

Get in smalls groups and share the sources of conflict with othersGroup presentation

….

LOGO Perception and lack of communication….

Perception and lack of communication….


In each situation multiple interpretation existWhat we believe to be true is relative to who we arePerception is relative to Identity

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Whom can you see on this photo? Whom can you see on this photo?

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Profil of a YOUNG woman

Profil of an OLD woman

LOGO What about this one ? What about this one ?


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An Inuit from his back

The profile of a native American

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Communication Communication

Active Listening

ակտիվ լսելու տեխնիկաVisual Contact

Dialog

YourYourSloganSlogan

herehere

YourYourSloganSlogan

herehere

NOTE: cultural norms of different nations and societies vary greatly and thus have a major

influence on the skill of active listening

LOGOSecrets Of Communication Secrets Of Communication

LOGOCommunication Communication

Effective communication…Listen in an understanding and supportive way, using your whole body, not just your ears. …Listen for the whole message by paying attention to body language, feelings, the meaning of what is said and what is not said. …Do not prejudge because of previous history, dress, accent or other irrelevant characteristics. ….Do not interrupt the other party. We can listen three to five times faster than someone can talk. If you disagree, do not become aggressive. ….Restate the other party's comments, present your point of view, and return the dialogue to the other party by asking for a reaction to your views.

LOGO Communication Communication

Assertive behavior, i.e., clearly expressing what you feel and saying what you want;

Active listening, i.e., listening in an understanding, non-judgmental and supportive way

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Characteristics of Communication Behaviors


Assertive Behavior

Passive-aggressive Behavior

Aggressive Behavior

Passive Behavior

LOGO Characteristics of Communication Behaviors


1. Passive Behavior Passive behavior is revealed when we:

• Don’t participate or share our thoughts and ideas • Always stick to middle-of-the-road, refraining from

taking a stand • Allow others to make decisions for us • Keep our voice low &/or avoid eye contact; keep

from calling attention to ourselves • Verbally agree with others despite our real feelings • Bring harm or inconvenience to ourselves to avoid

harming or inconveniencing others • Consider ourselves less knowledgeable or capable

than others.




Aggressive BehaviorAn aggressive behavior is revealed when we: Interrupt others when they are speaking Try to impose our position on others Make decisions for others Accuse, blame and find fault with others without

regard for their feelings Bring harm or cause inconvenience to others rather

than to ourselves Consider ourselves stronger and more capable than

others Accept responsibility and positions of authority for the

purpose of manipulation or to give us a means of influencing others




Passive Aggressive BehaviorPassive Aggressive Behavior is revealed when we:

Don’t participate and share thoughts when it is appropriate, e.g., in a meeting, but become very vocal when the issue can no longer be addressed, e.g., in the back room or with one or two people

Deny people an opportunity to deal with dissent since opinions not expressed openly are difficult to deal with openly

Whisper or exclude some people from hearing your point of view; or make side comments that all cannot hear and no one can respond to since the comments were not addressed to the entire group




Assertive BehaviorAssertive behaviour is revealed when we: Allow others to complete their thoughts before we

speak Stand up for the position that matches our feelings or

the evidence Make our own decisions based on what we think is

right Face problems and decisions squarely Consider ourselves strong and capable, but generally

equal to other people Face responsibility with respect to our situation, our

own and others’ needs and rights.


LOGO Thomas Kilman Conflict Handling StylesThomas Kilman Conflict Handling Styles


CompetingCompeting

AvoidingAvoiding

Compromising

Compromising

Collaborating

Collaborating

Accommodating

Accommodating

LOGO

Competing is assertive and uncooperative.Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative.Compromising is intermediate in assertiveness as

well as in cooperativeness.Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. The

conflict is not addressed at all

Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative.

.


LOGO Three Steps to Assertive Communication:

Three Steps to Assertive Communication:

1. Describe the situation or idea as clearly and specifically as you can.

2. Express how you feel about the situation. (Note: Use "I" or "My" statements to refer to how you are feeling and what you are thinking.)

3. Specify what you want. Include a specific deadline.


LOGOPracticingPracticing

Example:

Someone has pushed in front of you in a line for a bus

Please choose to respond assertively


LOGOPracticingPracticing

Describe the situation: “Excuse me. There is a line-up here of people who all want to get onto the next bus. Some of us have been waiting for over an hour.

Express how you feel: I find it frustrating that you just push into line without concern for others and their needs to get to work on time.

Specify what you want done: I think it is only fair that you go to the end of the line and wait your turn with the rest of us.


LOGO Negotiation Negotiation

Negotiation consists of discussions between two or more parties around specific issues for the purpose of reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement.

Everyone is a negotiator !!!


LOGO

Win –Win Win –Win Win-LostWin-Lost

Lost- Win Lost – Lost

LOGOWIN-WINWIN-WIN

Win-win negotiation is an approach to negotiating that stresses common interests and goals.

By working together parties can seek creative solutions and reach decisions in which all

parties can win


LOGOSome guidelinesSome guidelines

Always frame using neutral language. Use objective and blame free language.

Move participants from positions to interests Defuse hostilities Try to clarify the issue from a neutral, third party

perspective Deal with one issue at a time Get agreement that both parties want to resolve

the issue Be short and concise Frame, don’t solve


LOGO

Action Planning


LOGO

Take all that you have learnedDecide what you are going to doReview a conflict you are involved with

and determine how you are going to address it.

Complete the action plan chart below to help you prepare for taking action


LOGOPeace Forever Peace Forever


LOGO

Anna Poghosyan

[email protected]

Education

Conflicts new flexability