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Collaborate Don’t Dominate Lynne Kenney, PsyD www.lynnekenney.com

Collaborate dont dominate

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This presentation is based on the books The Family Coach method and the forthcoming Bloom: 50 things you can say, think and do with anxious, angry and over-the-top kids by Kenney and Young (2015). The key features of the talk are how to communicate and collaborate to move around the defensive brain and engage the thinker.

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Page 1: Collaborate dont dominate

Collaborate Don’t Dominate

Lynne Kenney, PsyDwww.lynnekenney.com

Page 2: Collaborate dont dominate

The Discipline Trap

Page 3: Collaborate dont dominate

Stay Out of Damage Control

Prepare, plan, practice and preview to prevent.

Page 4: Collaborate dont dominate

Misbehavior is Brain Function

=+B E BV

The 98% Rule

Page 5: Collaborate dont dominate

Why Children Misbehave

•Developmental Delays•Executive Function•Illness•Low blood sugar•Over-stimulation•Boredom•Misunderstanding•Sabotage•Anxiety

Is it a skill deficit or willful non-compliance?

Page 6: Collaborate dont dominate

The Three-Part Strategy

• Feed the brain and fuel the body

• Move around the defensive brain for more effective engagement and better behavior

• Move to Think

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Consider The Whole Child

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Whole Food Builds Calm Brains

• Power Greens (Kale, collard, swiss chard, spinach, romaine)

• Omega-3s (ground flax seed, walnuts, wild salmon, shrimp, fortified eggs)

• Water• Proteins• Vegetables and

fruits

Page 10: Collaborate dont dominate

Moving Around The Defensive Brain

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What percentage of the time is your communication:

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Five Steps To Better Behavior

• Communicate (Who what when where how)

• Elaborate (I hear you saying)

• Demonstrate (What does it look like?)

• Collaborate (We agree to)

• Transfer the skill (Can you show us how?)

• Make the children mentors (Can you please teach another person)

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• Empathize ~ Collaborate ~ Offer New Words and Actions

• Tell a story• Bounce a ball• Walk it out• The Thinker Makes Good Choices• Chant, sing, draw, The Ruby Books

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Skill Analysis

Can he do it?If yes, expect itIf no, teach it

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The Brain Knows What It Needs

• Consistency, reliability and mastery• Movement• Nutrition• Patterns• Rhythm• Oxygenation