Bruce Wilkinson, 7 Laws of the Learner: law 2b maximisers

Law 2: The Law of Expectation

Method & Maximisers

Saturday 23 October 2010

5 steps to help you blossom the people around you. They can be used at any time, on any day.

Expectation Method


“Examine” and “pay careful attention” to the person you want to blossom.Look for opportunities to share your positive expectations with them

1. EXAMINE the person you want to blossom


You don’t create these opportunities but you recognise them when they arise. The more skilled you become at this the more you see them.

Examine

Attention

Expose“You just did

_______”Description

Past


Once you have seen someone act in a way you can use for good - expose it, show that you saw it, and describe it to them

2. EXPOSE what the person did


“You just did...”They need to know you saw - then pause before going onto the next stepThe pause lets it get into their heart that you saw it


Emotion“That makes me feel

_______”Reaction

Expose“You just did

_______”Description

Past PresentPause


Now describe your emotion and reaction- how you felt about what they did,“That makes me feel...”Make your comment age appropriate - then pause again, whilst making eye contact

3. Describe your EMOTION about what the person did


Emotion“That makes me feel

_______”Reaction

Past PresentPause

Expect“I believe you are becoming

_______”Expectation


Up to this stage all you have done is complimented them - now you have to blossom them through the power of expectation - you now share your expectation,“I believe you are becoming...”This moves the emphasis from what they did towards what they can become

4. Tell the person what you EXPECT of him in the future


Now you are drawing out dreams in their mind - Wilkinson says this is part of visionary leadership, seeing what others don’t yet see and pointing people there.We should be visionary in parenting, teaching, leading...


Exposing dealt with the past, emotion was in the present, but expectations are in the future - telling people what they can becomeEffective expectations have some common characteristics


Effective expectations have some common characteristics1. Expressing belief in a persons potential2. Using the future perspective- becoming, growing into, developing, expanding...3. A positive not negative vision4. Their noblest aspirations - not your own5. Inspiring - let them put in their own details6. Possible - don’t lie to make them feel good


Past PresentPause

Expect“I believe you are becoming

_______”Expectation

Endear

Affection


Endear by becoming close and personal - you have said something precious which is cemented by the right, appropriate affection

5. ENDEAR yourself to the person through appropriate touch


Imagine you are a parent and it is father / mother’s day. Your child arrives with breakfast specially served for you in bed.Outline the conversation / comments you would make to them using the five point outline shown here.


It is teachers day. A student who is not usually well behaved or helpful arrives late for class bringing you a present.Outline the conversation / comments you would make to them using the five point outline shown here.


“Both he who expects great things of others,

and he who expects little, will receive what he

expects”


Wilkinson cites a pastor who prays for his deacons and then phones them and tells them he has been praying and how much he values them and how he thinks the hand of God is upon their life

Maximiser 1: Employ opportunities purposefully


Wilkinson also cites his daughter coming home with 3 F’s in a subject. He then told her how disappointed he was but went on to say that he was glad about it - why? - because now she had gotten those behind her she was ready to turn the corner, apply herself and live up to all the potential the Lord had given her. She could now conquer the subject.


Wilkinson also cites his daughter coming home with 3 F’s in a subject. He then told her how disappointed he was but went on to say that he was glad about it - why? - because now she had gotten those behind her she was ready to turn the corner, apply herself and live up to all the potential the Lord had given her. She could now conquer the subject.


As many ways as you can imagine, here are 5;Pray it - Paul for Ephesians 3:14-21Say it indirectly - compliment a piece of work in front of someone then reveal who did it.

Maximiser 2: Express expectations creatively


Write it - notes are very powerful and are usually kept for longer.Telephone - need I say anything?Send something unusual - you can be creative here...


People don’t listen well - so choose words carefully if you want to make an impactRemember it is hard to undo the power of harmful words

Maximiser 3: Pick words precisely


Eyes are our primary receptors - direct eye contact validates sincerity

Maximiser 4: Make eye contact


>100 nonverbal signals are used in communication - therefore, body and lips should be synchronisedLean forward, relaxed, palms up, sit on edge of desk, at eye level of other person

Maximiser 5: Communicate body language carefully


Social and cultural norms are different between countries - be careful here

Maximiser 6: Touch others appropriately


Set them before the class begins - make sure they are positive - be bold and brave and expect the best from the students.

Maximiser 7: Set expectations confidently



“I touch the future: I teach”





Christa McAuliffe



Christa McAuliffe[Teacher who lost her life on space shuttle

challenger]


1. Why do we find it easier to believe the worst about someone rather than the best?2. What words could you use rather than, “I’m proud of you” - think of 5 alternatives.3. Who could you help to blossom today, through this semester - are you doing it?

Questions


Education

Bruce Wilkinson, 7 Laws of the Learner: law 2b maximisers