Download pdf - THE COMPASSIONATE Bay/L.A. FRIENDS Chaptertcfsbla.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/July_2013.pdf · children, the anger boils within and we feel very cheated. And this year we are afraid

July 3rd meeting will feature our “Ask-It-Basket.” Startthinking of any questions you would like to ask.

For a free Picture Button of your child, call Ken at(310) 544-6690.

TCF Lunch Group meets for lunch at Mimi’s Caféevery Friday at 1:00. (Crenshaw and PCH). Allmembers are invited.

"This newsletter is sponsoredby an anonymous family inmemory of our children".

THE THE THE THE COMPASSIONATE COMPASSIONATE COMPASSIONATE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS Supporting Families After a Child Dies Supporting Families After a Child Dies Supporting Families After a Child Dies Supporting Families After a Child Dies

South South South South Bay/L.A. Bay/L.A. Bay/L.A. Bay/L.A. Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

A NEWSLETTER FOR BEREAVED PARENTS AND FAMILIES

JULY 2013 ISSUE EDITOR: LYNN VINES (310) 530-3214 e-mail: [email protected]

OUR NEXT MEETING will be July 3rd, the first Wednesday

of the month at 7:00 P.M.

LOCATION:The Neighborhood Church

415 Paseo Del Mar Palos Verdes Estates, CA 90274

(South of Torrance Beach)

DIRECTIONS: Pacific Coast Hwy. to Palos Verdes Blvd. º Palos Verdes Blvd. becomes Palos VerdesDrive West. Veer Right. º Go to Via Corta (stop sign just past Malaga Cove Plaza). Turn right. º Godown hill to Arroyo (stop sign). Turn right. º Continue down hill to end of street. º Turn left on Paseo Del Mar. º Meetings are held at the west end of the church.

--Please remember to park in the church parking lot and not on the street.–

The Compassionate Friends Mission Statement....When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.

South Bay/LA Chapter of TCF Chapter Co- Leaders: The National Office of TCFP.O. Box 11171 Cheryl Stephens (323) 855-2630 P.O. Box 3696Torrance, CA 90510-1171 [email protected] Oakbrook, IL 60522-3696(310) 963-4646 Linda Zelik (310) 370-1645 Toll free (877) 969-0010www.tcfsbla.org [email protected] http://www.compassionatefriends.org

The Compassionate Friends South Bay/L.A., CA July 2013Page 2

The July 3rd meeting will be having the "Ask It Basket". This is a chance to write down any question or problem you arehaving in your grief, and have them answered anonymously. The cards will be collected and as a group we will share our thoughtsand possible solutions to the problems presented. Ifyou have been struggling with a particular issue thatyou were not comfortable discussing at a meeting,now is your chance to address the issueanonymously. Some people like to write theirquestions on an index card at home and have itready to drop in the basket at the meeting. We dothis once a year and cover many questions thatbereaved families face. It is always enlightening tohear from other parents who have experienced thesame or similar issues in their grief.

What Is Normal Now?

I was jokingly asked recently what normal meantby a friend and I thought about it and jotted thesethings down. It is amazing what can become"normal" to us. I'm sure you could all change thenames and a few circumstances and your normal isvery close to mine.

Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Christmas, birthdays, Valentine'sday, and Easter.

Normal is discussing with a friend in theNetherlands how different funeral customs are there than here. Discussing how much both our sons loved trains and how the train sets now collect dust.

Normal is talking to a fellow musician at theSandhills symphony practice and the conversationgoing toward how you felt after your child died.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharinghow you feel with chat buddies who have also lost achild.

Normal is feeling like you know how to act andare more comfortable with a funeral than a weddingor a birthday party. Yet, feeling a stab of pain inyour heart when you smell the flowers, see thatcasket, and all the crying people.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minutewithout getting up and screaming because you justdon't like to sit through church anymore. And yetfeeling like you have more faith and belief in Godthan you ever have had before.

Normal is going to bed feeling like your kids whoare alive got cheated out of happy cheerful parents

and instead they are stuck with sober cautiouspeople.

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important ismissing from all the important events in yourfamily’s life.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand "what if's" and "why didn't I's" go throughyour head constantly.

Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have noise because the silenceis deafening.

Normal is staring at every blonde little boy who looks about kindergarten age. And then thinking of the age Isaiah would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even Important to imagine it, because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in my life alwaysbeing backed up with sadness lurking closebehind, because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is seeing Ian in his long black coat andhat at the cemetery visiting his brother's grave andthinking, how could this be normal? He shouldn'thave to be going through this.

Normal is seeing other kids that are Ian and Isaac's age teasing and playing with their brothersand sisters that are Isaiah's age and feeling soenvious of them.

Normal is seeing Isaiah's classmates fromchurch and Sunday school and wondering why he can't be with them. Why him?

Normal is playing my flute for a performance and feeling really great about doing well, followedby an immediate down after thinking how Isaiahwould have said, "That was beautiful Momma"(whether it really was or not).

Normal is telling the story of Isaiah's death as ifit were an everyday common place activity andthen gasping in horror at how awful it sounds. Andyet realizing it has become part of our normal.

Normal is each year coming up with the difficulttask of how to honor your child's memory and theirbirthday and survive those days. And trying to findthe balloon or flag that fits the occasion. HappyBirthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of a penguin. Thinking how Isaiah would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is getting up early to exercise (when I really hate exercise) because I know my mental health depends on it.

The Compassionate Friends South Bay/L.A., CA July 2013 Page 3

Normal is disliking jokes about death, funerals,and bodies being referred to as cadavers when youknow they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything but someone stricken with grief over the loss of their child.

Normal is feeling a common bond with friends inEngland, Australia, Netherlands, Canada, and allover the USA, but yet never having met any of themface to face.

Normal is a new friendship with another grievingmother and meeting for coffee and talking andcrying together over our children and our new lives. And worrying together, over our living children.

Normal is not being able to rest until you get thephone call that your 15 year old with a school permithas arrived at school just fine. And having thecourage to let your 17 year old not call after drivingto school because he is insulted that you need tocheck on him.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid thebills, cleaned house, or did laundry, or if there is anyfood in the house.

Normal is wondering this time whether you aregoing to say you have 2 or 3 children because youwill never see this person again, and it is not worthexplaining that one of them is in heaven. And yetwhen you say only 2 to avoid that problem, you feelhorrible as if you have betrayed that child.

Normal is feeling terrible hurt when you see yourchild's power point presentation at a parent-teacher's conference and that child has listed onlyone brother. Then you realize the way theinformation is set up there really is no logical placeto list the brother who has died and went to heaven.And how awkward that must of been for him to thinkabout the problem.

Normal is avoiding McDonald's and Burger Kingplaygrounds because of small happy children thatbreak your heart when you see them.

And last of all normal is hiding all the things thathave become normal for you to feel, so thateveryone around you will think that you are"normal". --Vicki Windham, TCF North Platte NE

Summer and Grief

I’ll bet you never dreamed that there would be atime in your life when you would not welcome avacation from work ... and the day-to-day hassles of routine living. It's probably a shocker to you that

the slow pace of summer, cookouts, softballgames, etc .... are now a nightmare. Everywherewe go, there are kids out of school enjoying theirleisure time, and our bodies jolt as we search forour own absent child who enjoyed this time of theyear with a passion.

Surrounded by summer fun, a bereaved parentneeds only to look around and there are painfulmemories at every corner. When we are facedwith all the living happy, loving families with theirchildren, the anger boils within and we feel verycheated. And this year we are afraid to go back tothe beach cottage we visited every year, or to themountain retreat where we laid around for a weekand relaxed, or the family-oriented amusementpark where the kid had to ride every ride and seeevery attraction, no matter what the temperaturewas. Yes, fear of our memories, fear of too muchpain ... all of these feelings are part of the first fewyears of summer vacations for bereaved parents.

It's been nine years now for me, and I need totell you that it will get easier, but I found that forthe first few years I needed to consciously change some of my routines in order to deal withfears. I could not visit the same places we hadvisited when Todd was with us. We tried new experiences in new places with new people. Thatisn’t to say there weren't some down times;however, the faster paced vacations worked betterfor us. I could not allow myself too much time tothink. I enjoy those weekends away now, but forthe first few summers I had to dig in the yard,repaint lawn furniture, rearrange the garage, andthe multitude of busy projects we'd been putting offfor the lack of time. That was a better vacation forme, than forcing myself to go somewhere and feel miserable. You’ve read it a hundred differenttimes, you have to find your own way and yourown peace - leave yourself room to escape if itbecomes necessary. If you can find anyenjoyment and relaxation, relish it ... you deserveit, and it does not mean you don't care. It simplymeans you are healing. Now I walk down thebeach and enjoy the solitude, or laugh when I seea toddler, or listen to the joy of kid laughing, and itwarms my heart. Yes, I miss him, but I know heenjoyed every minute of this season, and I knowthat is what he'd want for me ... and thank God, Ican do it once more. --Brenda Holland. TCF Concord, NC


Am I Still a Big Sister or Brother?The grief of children

"How many brothers do you have?" they ask her.

"I have three brothers," she says."Wow! And how many sisters do you have?" they

ask again."I have one sister. But she's in Heaven taking

care of us," she replies proudly.Those are words that made my eyes fill up with

tears when I heard them. My daughter, six yearsold, has fearless strength I often envy. Her "matterof fact" attitude about her younger sister's death andher raw honesty filled me with a Mother's pride. Iknew her outlook was healthy, despite the oftenastonished looks she would draw from unsuspectinginquisitors. How do you help children through thegrief process toward a healthy reconciliation afterthe death of a sibling?

In retrospect, I can think of several ways I triedto assist my two older sons and my older daughterto deal with the sudden death of their infant sister. The most difficult task was discussing her death andexplaining what "death" is. I was very cautiousabout specific terminology I used. Keep in mind thatin dealing with children, honesty is the bestresponse. I never associated death with sleeping. Itold them that their sister died. When you die, youdo not ever come back on this earth. I explainedthat they would not see her again. This may be agood time to explain the difference, for thosefamilies that hold spiritual beliefs and values,between life on earth and life in Heaven. Again,remember to use caution when discussing God anddeath. Avoid telling the children that God took thebaby. It may create deep feelings of anxiety oranger toward God or spiritual ideals. I made aneffort to encourage questions and communication.

Children may be too frightened to ask withoutassurance. Keep your answers honest and simple. Another factor I feel was extremely beneficial for ourchildren was our “open emotion” policy. I allowedmyself to cry, wherever and whenever I felt the needto. As a parent, they looked to me as an example. Iwas able to set a standard for them. My opennessvalidated their feelings of loss and despair. It madethem feel comfortable to come to me when they feltoverwhelmed. I cried many, many times in front ofthem. And then I would let them see me laughagain.

The expression of grief is not something to behidden. Nor is it reason to be ashamed. The life

and death of their deceased sibling is certainlyworth the acknowledgment of the pain. In timeswhen my children wanted to express their grief, Iencouraged them to cry, yell, punch a pillow, andaccompany me on a walk or anything else they feltwould help them through the difficult time. Onseveral occasions, I encouraged them to draw apicture or write a letter to their sister, which wewould then take to the cemetery. In this way, theywere able to express a great deal more than inattempting to verbalize an emotion difficult forthem to communicate.

Another helpful idea for siblings is to offerthem a “special” remembrance token of theirsibling for them to keep. For example, giving themtheir sibling's rattle or toy. It is a tangible reminderof a love that will never be forgotten. EveryChristmas, our children choose a special ornamentin memory of their sister to hang on our tree. It isengraved with her name and the year. They knowwe have not abandoned her memory, nor will they.

Reassure your children they are still a "bigbrother" or "big sister" even after the death of theirsibling. Reassure them they always will be. Taketime, even years later, to reminisce together andshare memories of your precious child. Thepictures of our beloved daughter and sister stillhang on our walls. They have become apermanent fixture in our home. Despite outsidepressure, they remain. She is a significant part ofour past, our present and our future. I want ourchildren to know their sister. I encourage them toremember her and the beauty she gave our lives. Her surviving siblings have a simplistic andgenuine gift of discernment for grieving. Everyday,I strive to become more and more like my children.

Note: If your child experiences:1. Extended periods of depression in which he orshe loses interest in daily activities and events 2. Inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fearof being alone 3. Acting much younger for extended periodsof time4. Withdraws from friends at school5. Sharp drop in performance or refusal to attendschool

These are warning signs which indicate thatprofessional intervention may be needed. Pleaseseek a therapist who specializes in grief andtrauma. Also seek the aid of a support group forsiblings. Some TCF chapters nationwide have thisavailable.-- By Joanne Cacciatore www.misschildren.org


Guilt Trip

Guilt is what we face as we measure our performance against our new ideal standards. Our new value system measures parental abilities based upon a short term view, rather than the outlook we took when ourchildren were with us.

Guilt is what we face when we consider what could have been if we could have taken that extratime to answer our children's questions more fully. It is that awful standard we use when we rememberthe selfish episodes when we took time forourselves or other activities rather than play thegame or spend more time with our preciouschildren.

Guilt is the awful result that we face when we realize that we can never take back or undo any hurt we inflicted by our harsh words or unkinddeeds. We forget that we are human and areentitled to make mistakes. Entitlement todeficiencies doesn't erase or reduce the ache youfeel in your heart.

Guilt is the crutch we use to punish ourselves.We feel responsible for our inability to protect ourprecious children who were entrusted to us. Ourproclaimed failure as a parent in our fundamentalresponsibility to provide protection spells guilt. Guiltis something we should give up!!! We need torealize that most of our kids turned out pretty good,so we must not have been such awful parents. Wemust remind ourselves that guilt will not lessen ourgrief. Grief can only be decreased by time andwork. We should evaluate our performance as wefeel our children would have judged us. I am sureour children forgave our prior errors and continued to love us. If only they could tell us how they feelabout us, our guilt would subside - at least untilsome event overpowers us and reminds us of ourincomprehensible loss.

Guilt then is something we must learn to livewith. It is our feeble way of trying to exercise controlwhere we are totally helpless. It is our way ofrebelling emotionally against the facts that wesimply do not accept. -- Reezin Swilley, Bereaved Father, Atlanta, GA

May I honor-and trust-the processes of grief and ofhealing, knowing that, in time, a new day will come. -- from "Healing After Loss" by Martha WhitmoreHickman

The Three T's

Touching. Tender touching says, I love youand I care. Everyone in your family needs to betouched and held. Children especially need to behugged, held, and cuddled. Strong arms feelsecure when your world is falling apart. A threeminute hug is a good idea.

Tears. Everyone needs to be able to cry and know it's OK. Your children need to know they don't have to be afraid of tears.

Talking. All of you need to talk. Listen to yourkids. They'll have some big questions like: Did Ido something to cause the death? Is this going tohappen to me, or my Mom or Dad? Who is goingto take care of me? Let them know they are not toblame, other people aren't likely to die and thatthere will always be someone to love and care forthem. -- From Your Friends of FFMV, Colton, CAChapter

On Marriage ...

And so it's over! Finally everyone has gone away To turn their lives back on again like radios, Leaving us to talk too loudly Trying to soak up the silence. Sometimes I see you turn away So that I won't see your tears And we build this incredible wall Of grief, It first started with her empty chair. I can't believe that I could ever be So alone with you; Each of us guarding our pain Jealously As the last thing to hold of her, And people said, "You're so lucky to have each other." --Sue Borrouman TCF, Kingston, Ontario

Fireworks Are Like The Love In OurHearts

The 4th of July in Oregon is a celebration,complete with the grand fireworks finale boltingfrom the top of Pilot Butte. This was one of myson's favorite holidays. When he was six I askedhim why fireworks were so special to him. He


said, "The lights explode in the dark and make thewhole sky light up!" That was obvious. I said"Hum?" He gave me one of his "Oh mom" looks,then went on to say. "The fireworks are like the lovein our hearts, we should always try to spread ourlove out to others." I knew then and I still am awaretoday that profound wisdom comes from the lips ofchildren. From that summer on, in my mind,fireworks have been a triumphant testament oflove's enduring power and wonder. I miss my son,Joshua terribly. I comfort myself knowing that hiswisdom and kindness were precious gifts in my life.

Wherever you are on the Fourth of July, I hopethat the splendor of sparkling fireworks mightcomfort you as you acknowledge that the love youhold dear for your child is the light that is able toshine through you. We all have known grief well,yet as compassionate friends we need not walkalone in the darkness. We can lighten up the pathfor others.

Grief can cripple and destroy us, but as wegather to share each other's burden, we are able to gain strength. Love for our children is ourcommon flame, sharing and caring keep the flameafire. –Jane Oja TCF Central Oregon Chapter

A Suicide Survivor’s Beatitudes

BLESSED are they who recognize suicide grief is compounded; that we grieve the death of a belovedperson, but first and foremost we grieve the causeof the death. BLESSED are they who give us permission tomourn the loss of one dearly loved, free ofjudgment, censure and shame. BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the repose of our loved ones soul with the truth that God is all-knowing, all-loving, and all forgiving. BLESSED are they who don't offer the meaningless cliche "time heals." Because for a long while thepassing of time holds no meaning or value to us. BLESSED are they who don't say,"I know just how you feel," but instead say,"I am here for you. I will not tire of your or your words of sorrow and regret." BLESSED are they who have the patience and love to listen to our repetitive obsession with Why? ... without offering useless answers or explanations. BLESSED are they who reaffirm the worth of our deceased beloved by sharing memories of his/her goodness and times of fun, laughter and happiness.

BLESSED are mental health care providers whoexplain to us that, very probably, our loved onedied of a terminal illness called depression. BLESSED are they who challenge our sense of omnipotence with the reminder that no one has enough power or control over another to cause them to end their life. BLESSED are first responders to our loved one's suicide who try to relieve our sense of guilt and responsibility by assuring us "This death is notyour fault." BLESSED are they who lend acceptance to thevalue of the relationship we shared with the onewho died by allowing us to speak of them and"what might have been." BLESSED are they who allow and encourage us to use our loved one's death in a manner that givesour loss and grief meaning and purpose. BLESSED are they who do not expect us to find“closure”, “grief resolution”,“recovery,” or to “behealed”, understanding that these terms definegrief work in progress that will take the rest of ourlife. BLESSED are community care givers who directus to suicide bereavement support groups whereour anguish is understood, our loss validated, andwhere we are encouraged by the example ofothers who have traveled this road before us. BLESSED are seasoned suicide survivors, rolemodels, who show us not only that we can survive,but, in time, we will thrive ... we will regain peaceof mind, confidence, productivity and zest forliving. BLESSED are all who honor our loved ones by remembering how they lived rather than how they died. --Excerpt from Finding Peace Without All ThePieces, After a Loved One's Suicide –Larita Archibolld, Colorado Springs, CO


How Do You Say Good-bye?

How do you say good-bye to your dreams? Dreams of dresses and bows and little girl things. Tea parties and dress up are what I dreamed of. Dreams of a little girl I so very much love. How do you say good-bye to a life you created? To all the plans I had made as I anxiously waited For my little girl's birth to make us a family. For now, instead of two we would be always bethree. How do you say good-bye to the life you had planned? That now lay still and quiet in her mommy's hands. How do you say good-bye when you should be saying hello? Will somebody please tell me How to let my baby go. -- Jodie Haley, Erin's Mom Oklahoma City, OK

Newly Bereaved ...

Do You Ever Feel Like Me?

Do you ever feel like me? Right now I am utterlytired of grief. I don't want to hurt, cry, or feel empty;I want to scream. I am sick of it. I can't get awayfrom the always-aching pit in my heart and soul. Isearch for understanding. I do all I can in thememory of my child who is gone and the others likeher. I try to move into life again. I smile, I laugh, butinside I ache, my soul literally burns inside my body. This ache in my heart grows worse and harshereach day.

Some say it gets better - WHEN??? That is what I want to know. When in this life am I going tofeel better? I learn to live like this. It has not easedor vanished ... I just cope better. Inside me I desiremy child, outside I act fine and dandy! I want to feelwhole, confident, full, happy, all the things that areso long gone I can't remember them. Oh, what Iwould give for the “bliss of ignorance” once more. -- Jean Walter, Atlanta Sharing Line

For Friends and Family...

Dear Friend, Please put it behind you; let it go for awhile.

You're too lost in mourning, lighten up, try to smile. Iknow it's a tragedy. I know how you must feel, butyou must just get through it, move on so you'll heal.

I just can't stand to see you in pain. I know if youtry you'll be happy again.

Dear Friend, The person you still want me to be is gone,

locked away, and I don't have the key. I'm reallynot choosing to be like this, but my life is purefeeling, clenching me like a fist. There's a bleak,somber moat between me and the world. Thedraw bridge so heavy, splintered edges so cruel. When I venture out strongly, the pain wraps mestill, colors my actions, saps at my will. So please,don't give up though I'm hopeless and lost. Ourfriendship's true value reflects in its cost. --From the book Stars in the Deepest Night, After the Death of a Child, by Genesse Bourdeau Gentry.

Welcome...

First TCF Meeting - A Story of Survival

I attended my first TCF meeting three weeks after my Nina died. I was lucky to have a funeral director who was involved in TCF and passed theinformation on to me within days of her funeral. Iremember that I counted the days until that firstTCF meeting. I needed to be around other peoplewho were devastated like I was ... who knew howhard it was to get out of bed in the morning ... whoknew the difficulty of waiting for that beloved childto come through the door and of course never did. I wanted to be around others who didn't expect meto be "normal" again.

But the evening of the first meeting I remembersitting in my car in the parking lot for what seemedlike forever. When I finally made the decision thatyes, I was going to go in, I trudged up the sidewalkand saw the sign on the door that said, "TheCompassionate Friends Support Group" andsuddenly my legs felt like they had been dipped incement. To enter through that door meant I waspart of a group of people that I never wanted to bea part of.

There was nothing that frightened me morefrom the time my first child was born - than thepossibility that I would lose any of my children. Ialways included in my prayers each evening thatGod could do whatever he wanted to with me, butplease, please never take my child. So to enterthat building meant I was one of them – that thereality was, I was one of "them". When I walked


in the meeting room I was greeted by a woman whogave me a huge hug and made me feel that I was inthe right place.

She introduced me to another woman who had lost her child suddenly through an accident just as Ihad. Since then that woman has become my bestfriend. As everyone went around the circle andintroduced themselves and said how long it hadbeen since their child died (some even 10 yearsbefore) I remember having conflicting feelings. Onthe one hand, how could they be laughing andfinding joy in their life again. But on the other hand,maybe that meant I too would survive the worstloss- that I would find my smile and laughter again. I felt safe there. I felt understood there. And I didn'twant to leave that cocoon of understanding and goout in the real world that still went on as if nothinghappened - that didn't understand that the world Ihad known had ended on May 11, 1995.

Five years later I am co-leader and newslettereditor and have rarely missed a meeting. And fiveyears from now I still plan to be there so that I cangreet that person attending their first meeting, lookinto their eyes where I know I will see the samehollow look mirrored in my own when I was newly bereaved, and let them know that if I survived the unthinkable, they can too. --Cathy Seehuetter, St. Paul, Minnesota TCF Editor's Note: We encourage you to attend our meetings and see for yourself how helpful they can be. You will find understanding and support from other parents who truly understand the depths of your pain and loss. Join us as we help each other through this difficult time.

Helpful Hint.....

When friends and family members ask if there isanything they can do to help, ask them to makecopies of pictures they may have of your child. When you are ready, they can share the picturesand stories they remember about your child. Astime progresses, this is a simple way for friends andfamily to share in your grief and support you.

Book in Review ...

Blood Brothers, by Lisa Solis DeLong. Not manypeople experience the death of a child; fewer yetface the possibly of having to do it twice. BloodBrothers is Lisa DeLong's story of what it has beenlike to have two sons with leukemia, a lifetime apart.

As she struggles to understand a loving God couldallow this to happen, she searches for a way tokeep her marriage, her family, and her own sanitytogether.

Whether you're a mother, someone who hasexperienced cancer either in yourself or someoneyou love, or a medical professional, the story ofthese two Blood Brothers will speak to your heartand allow you to see how in the midst of exploringfaith, great triumph can come from unimaginable tragedy. Order from (661) 252-4374 [email protected]

The Metamorphosis

The lowly caterpillar creeping, seeking limited of sight and mind bound to earth.

In time heeds the call unheard by others turning toward the Creator.

Inside the shroud of the chrysalis God's miracle unfolds The Metamorphosis.

Emerges now a butterfly frail tent folded winging skyward shimmering, soaring

Transformed.

And so our children too are free, free of this world's bonds and cares.

Sweet winged creatures precious presence borne heavenward in hands of love.

Glorifying God Touching hearts with hope Beautiful symbols of His promise Fulfilled. --By Donna Herndon TCF, Murray, KY


The Scar

To lose a loved one is to be wounded deep within the soul,

The wound will heal, but the scar will remain,

The scar is not upon the body but upon the heart.

To touch the scar is to recall the image of the loved one.

To touch the scar is to experience the love that still remains in him

and is eternally sheltered in you. --Jim Rosemary TCF, Huntington WV

July's Child

Fireworks-race toward heaven Brilliant colors in the sky. Their splendor ends in seconds On this evening in July. "Her birthday is this Saturday," I whisper with a sigh. She was born this month, She loved this month And she chose this month to die. Like the bright and beautiful fireworks Glowing briefly in the dark They are gone too soon, and so was she Having been, and left her mark. A glorious incandescent life, A catalyst, a spark ... Her being gently lit my path And softened all things stark. The July birth, the July death of my happy summer child Marked a life too brief that ended Without rancor, without guile. Like the fireworks that leave images On unprotected eyes ... Her lustrous life engraved my heart ... With love that never dies. -- Sally Migliaccio TCF Babylon, Long Island, NY

“Grief to me is a strange thing. Offhand, it mightsound like it’s about weeping by a tombstoneand laying some flowers. But, as a wise man oncesaid, ‘Grief is love you cannot get rid of.’-- Author Unknown. TCF St Joseph County, SouthBend, IN newsletter

Remember...

There is no better exercise for the heart thanleaning down and lifting others up. -- Sasha

A Family Grieves

That, old expression, "Not all there," Is true when said of me, For time has not consoled my mind Nor made my heart grief-free. Most days I cannot concentrate, Or do the things I should do. The simplest task seems just too hard To try and make it through. I dread the long and sleepless nights. I hate to face the day.... The sunshine does not chase the clouds Of sorrow from my way. The world continues just the same, It thinks I'm "doing well". It doesn't seem to know or care I really feel like Hell. It cannot see that deep inside A part of me is dead; How much the rest is hurt Or the silent tears I shed. For no one really wants to see The pain and grief I bear. I walk a long and lonely road That seems to go nowhere. The greatest comfort that I have Is my remaining son And he is just as dear to me As the departed one. So when he sees me crying hard And hurting to the core, I tell him that I love him now, Not less, but even more. He, too, is hurting from that loss. He loved his brother, too; He mourns that brother deeply as His dad and mother do, When we comfort one another We can remember happy things, Thus an inner strength and courage To each the other brings. But, even though that sharing helps To ease the heavy load, In deepest grief, each walks alone Along a lonesome road. -Jane Barton, TCF, Central New Jersey 00

Our Children RememberedPage 10

Ron Acker Born: 10/65 Died: 5/95Mother: Ursula Spey-AckerFather: Heinz H. Acker

Jonathan AdamsBorn: 1/81 Died: 2/08Parenst: Siv & Eddie Adams

Ramon AlvarezBorn: 10/84 - Died: 2/07Mother: Terrie Alvarez

Sumer Nicole AlvarezBorn:5/85 Died: 7/005Parents: Dave Alvarez & SandyMurphy

Noah William AragonBorn: 1/05 Died: 3/06Parents: Rich & Michele Aragon

Brandon ArmstrongMiscarried: July 1995Mother: Cheryl Stephens

Joshua ArevaloBorn: 7/93 Died: 8/11Mother: Vilma Alfaro

Joseph David ArtinoBorn: 11/51 Died: 11/07Mother: Nancy Graybill &Step-father: Art Graybill

Jason M. BakosBorn: 9/79 Died: 12/07Father: James Bakos

Alexandra Renee BaleshBorn: 9/73 Died: 3/95Parents: Ron & Stella Balesh

Kimberly BarcenasBorn: 2/88 Died: 10/06Mother: Maria Guadalupe Ixta

Christopher BarnhartBorn: 11/77 Died: 4/07Parents: Ron & Susan MotherSister: Stacy Pierce

Christopher Michael BartaBorn: 2//72 Died: 9/04Mother: Mary Barta

Stephen Barrington BaxterBorn: 7/61 Died: 4/99Parents: Cash & Betty Baxter

Vincent BeagleBorn: 11/82 Died: 5/10Mother: Angela Beagle

Tristina Ann BealeBorn: 12/80 Died: 9/08Mother: Kathy Beale

Frank BeckerBorn: 11/61 Died: 8/07Parents: Al & Louise Becker

Kimberly BelluominiBorn: 10/62 Died: 10/00Parents: Joyce Anderson &Ronald Assmann

Sammy BloomBorn: 2/59 Died:12/82Parents: Lois & Sam Bloom

Kurt BoettcherBorn: 12/71 Died: 06/95Mother: Carolyn Boettcher

Todd BoettcherBorn: 2/79 Died: 10/79Mother: Carolyn Boettcher

Robert BoldeBorn: 7/94 Died: 9/12Parents: Diane & Paul Bolde

Alan BoltonBorn: 11/63 Died: 3/06Mother: Helen Eddens

Kevin BorderBorn: 11/88 Died: 11/09Mother: Kelly Border

Antoinette BotleyBorn: 12/67 Died: 7/10Mother: Fredia McGrew

Renee BouchardBorn: 3/75 Died: 5/06Mother: Susan Bouchard

Tamara Lynette BoydBorn: 12/65 Died: 12/00Parents: Gloria & Gayle Jones

Jazzelyn BragaBorn: 11/08 Died: 5/09Father: Leonard Braga

Lawrence Tom BrennanBorn: 11/86 Died: 12/10Parents: Manuel & Lisa JoHernandez

William Joseph BrittonBorn: 3/62 Died: 7/85Mother: Jean Anne Britton

Sayumi Claire BrowerBorn: 9/08 Died: 9/08Parents: Scott & Maiko Brower

Devon Leigh BrownBorn: 5/90 Died: 3/92Mother: Heidi Brown

Eric Michael BrownBorn: 11/65 Died: 9/00Mother: Beverly Young

Benjamin Matthew BrytanBorn: 10/84 Died: 6/96Mother: Karen Merickel &Robert Brytan

Robert L. BucknerBorn: 2/92 Died: 3/03Parents: Brad & Cindy Buckner

Scott BuehlerBorn: 3/80 Died: 2/08Mother: Elizabeth Buehler Miller

Tony BurackBorn: 12/63 Died: 12/87Parents: Rita & Herb Burack

Brittany Nicole CailBorn: 10/88 Died: 4/08Mother: Raquel Cail

Albert CalderaBorn: 3/78 Died: 2/10Parents: Refugio & MariaCaldera

Christina CalifanoBorn: 10/90 Died: 11/06Father: John Califano

Cesar Isaac CancinoBorn: 01/05 Died: 01/05Parents: Claudia & CesarCancino

Kenneth CapparelliBorn: 1/77 Died: 1/04Mother: Sandy Capparelli

Kevin CastanedaBorn: 4/94 Died: 4/13Parents: Fernando & AledaHockenberry

Frank Christopher CastaniaBorn: 8/94 Died: 7/05Parents: Frank & DebbieCastania --Grandparents:Richard & Ann Leach

Vanessa Roseann Castania Born: 2/97 Died: 7/05Parents: Frank & DebbieCastania– Grandparents:Richard & Ann Leach

Ryan CavanaughBorn: 6/83 Died: 11/06Mother: Kimberly Cavanaugh

Zackary Kenneth CharltonBorn: 11/81 Died: 3/10Parents: Christine & KerrSister: Allie Bentley

Nathaniel ChoateBorn: 7/80 Died: 5/08Mother: Vicki Blain

Andrew Alexander ChouBorn:12/03 Died: 12/03Parents: Lu-Sieng Siauw &Wibawa Chou

Ophelra Grace ClarkBorn: 10/82 Died: 9/10Sister: Rebecca Clark

John Francis ClearyBorn: 12/74 Died: 8/93Mother: Pauline Cleary Basil

Kelly Swan ClearyBorn: 3/59 Died: 3/95Parents: Dick & Bev Swan

Sarah Elizabeth CooperBorn:10/95 Died: 8/00Parents: Mark & Sandra Cooper

Tiffany CorkinsBorn: 7/70 Died: 8/05Mother: Nancy Lamb

Hugo Ignacio CorbalanBorn: 4/84 Died: 5/08 Mother: Isabel Acosta

Marika CritelliBorn: 3/78 Died: 11/09Father: Michael Critelli

Joseph Francesco MichaelCurreriBorn: 9/80 Died: 10/07Mother: Karen Curreri

Scott CurryBorn: 8/59 Died: 7/08Mother: Marilyn Nemeth

Rodney D. Day, Jr.Born: 4/96 Died: 6/01Parents: Jersuha Day

Danielle Ann DavisBorn: 10/78 Died: 3/10Mother: Jackie Davis

Michael David DeboeBorn: 12/75 Died: 5/09Parents: Dave & Judy Deboe

Phillip Dennis DelurgioBorn: 11/64 Died: 7/10Mother: Denise Nolan Delurgio

Anthony Joseph DemasioBorn: 6/52 Died:7/00Vivian Demasio

Lee Denmon, lllBorn: 7/79 Died: 3/03Parents: Frances & Lee Denmon, Jr.

Douglas Thhorn DethlefsenBorn: 11/64 Died: 11/09Father: Douglas G. Dethlefsen

Our Children Remembered Page 11

Cori Daye DesmondBorn: 3/80 Died: 12/09Parents: Mark & MonicaDesmond

Luke Edward DevlinBorn: 12/07 Died: 12/07Parents: Jacqueline & TomDevlin

Allison Jeanine KirkbrideDewartBorn: 10/87 Died: 1/06Parents: Z & Michael Dewart

Gary A. Dicey, llBorn: 4/82 Died: 6/98Father: Gary A. Diecy, Sr.

Michael A. DiMaggioBorn: 10/54 Died: 7/01Parents: Neno & Helen DiMaggio

Amy Elizabeth DoddBorn: 1/74 Died: 7/02Mother: Kathleen Dodd

Wayne DouglasBorn: 9/71 Died: 1/10Mother: Marie Galli

Ramsay Downie, llBorn: 2/64 Died: 10/99Ramsay & Sally Downie

Joel DraperBorn: 1/84 Died: 5/04Mother: Tracy Solis

Rachel Sheridan DunlapBorn: 9/69 Died: 3/09Mother: Janell Dunlap

Myaka Kaitana DurhamBorn: 1/04/06 Died: 1/06Parents: Jahman & AmpyDurham

Scott Michael DykstraBorn: 7/72 Died: 10/01Parents: Mike & Rita Dykstra

Gary EdholmBorn: 5/56 Died: 9/95Parents: Patti & Bob White

Mark EdlerBorn: 11/73 Died:1/92Parents: Kitty & Rich Edler

Timothy Charles EgnatoffBorn: 11/92 Died: 9/08Parents: Rick & Cathy Reny

Lorian Tamara ElbertBorn: 5/66 Died: 10/07Mother: Dorota Starr Elbert

Luke EmeryBorn: 7/89 Died: 12/99Parents: Karen & Glenn Emery

Jeffery Mark EnglemanBorn: 6/61 Died: 2/10Parents: Janette & LaszloEngelman

Richard Paul EngelmanBorn: 02/66 Died: 03/95Parents: Janette & LaszloEngelman

Henry EspinozaBorn: 12/63 Died: 9/98Mother: Virginia Espinoza

Kurt FaerberBorn: 8/63 Died: 3/87Mother: Trudy Faerber

Jarod Ryan FaulkBorn: 8/86 Died: 12/08Father: Joe Faulk

Chase FeldkampBorn: 5/05 Died: 3/06Parents: Buddy & JessicaFeldkamp

David Joseph FerralezBorn: 2/74 Died: 12/02Parents: John & RebeccaFerralez

Michella Leanne MatassoFincannonBorn: 8/86 Died: 1/06Parents: Bill & Cheryl Matasso

Emma Nicole FisherBorn: 11/99 Died: 7/06Parents: Nancy & Elliott Fisher

Casey Owen FlintBorn: 5/75 Died: 7/09Mother: Catherine Flint

April Lou FlynnBorn: 4/61 Died: 1/05Mother: Peggy Flynn

Mark FrazeBorn: 5/79 Died: 7/07Mother: Kathy Cammarano

Hunter Rebecca Bloem FreeseBorn: 1/02 Died: 4/12Parents: Brian & MichelleFreese

Peter J. FuentesBorn: 2/68 Died: 3/98Mother: Pat Fuentes

Donald A. FunkBorn:12/41 Died: 9/00Parents: William & Norma JeanFunk

Mark Scott GalperBorn: 2/62 Died: 5/97Mother: Sheri Schrier

Melinda "Peeper" Gardner-CollinsBorn: 6/56 Died: 8/07Mother: Pat Gardner

Justin Brian GartlandBorn: 10/81 Died: 4/05Parents: Brian & PauletteGartland

Richard Lamar GibbsBorn: 3/84 Died: 5/05Mother: Ann Wasecha

Steven Paul GiulianoBorn: 4/55 Died: 4/95Mother: Eleanor Giuliano

Jacob Seth GoarBorn: 1/79 Died: 5/01Parents: Michael & VenusNunan

Morgan Leeann GomezBorn: 1/08 Died: 1/08Parents: Amanda & LouieGomez

Nicholas GonzalezBorn: 2/63 Died: 10/01Parents: Nick & Gloria Gonzalez

Evan Leonard GrauBorn: 8/82 Died: 5/04Parents: Maria & Wayne Grau

Christopher Dudley GrayBorn: 5/83 Died: 2/04Parents: Dudley & Laurie Gray

Matthew Ryan GregoryBorn: 3/80 Died: 1/11Parents: Carol & Fred Gregory

Adam Francois GuymonBorn: 4/89 Died: 4/06Mother: Eileen Guymon

Anthony Joel GuzmanBorn: 5/87 Died: 1/08Mother: Teresa Guzman

Andrew John GvistBorn: 7/88 Died: 5/05Father: Mark Gvist

Justin Todd GwizdalaBorn: 10/75 Died: 6/96Parents: Kathy & Gary Gwizdala

James Burman HahnBorn: 11/68 Died: 12/05Mother: Berna Hahn &J. Thomas Hahn

Dakota Max HaightBorn: 9/27 Died: 9/12Parents: Gail Cochran & BillScar

Grant Henry HamptonBorn: 3/79 Died: 7/05Parents: Jeri & George Medak

Brandon Allen HansonBorn: 5/75 Died: 5/10Mother: Yolanda Alepe

Robert Belmares HarrisBorn: 12/66 Died: 12/95Parents: Bea & Larry Harris

Leslie Geraci HartBorn: 6/66 Died: 7/11Father: John Geraci

Rachel Anne HartmanBorn: 2/91 Died: 7/04Parents: David & PaulaHartman

Robert Hashimoto JrBorn: 5/66 Died: 5/92Parents: Robert & ShirleyHashimoto

Caleb HaskellBorn: 6/78 Died: 9/06Parents: Karen & Kim Haskell

Daniel HassleyBorn: 2/71 Died: 2/90Parents: Eila & Richard Hassley

Alicia M. HayesBorn: 1/81 Died: 5/96Parents: Becky & Dave Jordan

Jason Patrick HealeyBorn: 10/84 Died: 2/09Mother: Sharon Sykes Healey

Emma Joy HeathBorn: 5/98 Died: 6/07Parents: DJ & Phil Heath

Kent HisamuneBorn: 6/00 Died: 6/00Parents: Toshi & HidekoHisamune

Jesse HoffmanBorn: 1/86 Died: 8/10Mother: Gina Hoffman

Hope Ann HoneycuttBorn: 12/62 Died: 6/00Mother: Donna Honeycutt

Adria HorningBorn: 12/91 Died: 3/07Parents: Gary Horning & LindaCipriani


Jeremy Michael HowardBorn: 7/83 Died: 6/94Mother: Donna Howard-ScruggsGrandmother: Charlotte Crager

Jennifer Nicole HowerBorn: 6/75 Died: 12/04Brother: Jeff Hower

Miranda HowellsBorn: 8/91 Died: 11/09Father: Walter Howells III

Rachel Suzanne HoytBorn: 2/70 Died: 1/95Sister: Laura Hoyt D’anna

Tara HudsonBorn: 1/86 Died: 1/07Mother: Mari Hudson

Chad Michael HuisingaBorn: 10/74 Died: 12/95Parents: Alan & MelindaHuisinga

Hannah Nichea HupkeBorn: 9/87 Died: 6/05Parents: Bruce & Joni Hupke

Zane Austin HutchinsBorn: 9/03 Died: 2/04Parents: Mae Rivera & JonHutchins

Casie Leean HydeBorn: 3/89 Died: 12/05Mother: Kelli Rigby-Hyde

John Joseph IaconoBorn: 5/02 Died: 5/04Parents: Nancy & AnthonyIacono

Ben Francisco Inez de la CruzBorn: 1/71 Died: 11/91Parents: Francesca Inez &Emmanuel de la Cruz

John E. JamesBorn: 6/62 Died: 9/93Parents: Marilyn & Lupe Arvizo

Kalaea JenningsBorn: 4/07 Died: 9/07Parents: Nacio & MariaJennings

Melissa Gale JettonBorn: 5/58 Died: 7/84Parents: James & Cathie Jetton

William JimenezBorn: 3/94 Died: 5/04Sister: Adrianna Jimenz

Daniel A. Jones V.Born: 5/92 Died: 10/09Father: Daniel A. Jones IV.

David B. JonesBorn: 3/50 Died: 3/01Mother: Lucille Jones

Thomas Sean JordahlBorn: 7/67 Died: 4/03Mother: Lynda Orr

Jeff JoyceBorn: 2/68 Died: 4/01Mother: Wadene Duffy

Lance John JurackaBorn: 10/69 Died: 4/06Parents: Frank & NancyJuracka

Heather Mary KainBorn: 6/83 Died: 2/10Mother: Maura Kain

Edwin J. KaslowskiBorn: 11/67 Died: 7/96Mother: Carolyn Kaslowski

Emily Matilda KassBorn: 6/95 Died: 3/06Mother: Susan Kass

Scott Ira KaufmanBorn: 4/68 Died: 7/95Mother: Renee Kaufman

Douglas Drennen KayBorn: 3/72 Died: 9/06Parents: Steve & Diane Kay

Kalin Marie KeechBorn: 10/90 Died: 6/09Richard & Kris Keech

Kathryn Anne KellyBorn: 12/72 Died: 1/91Parents: Dick & Timmy Kelly

Timothy Michael KerriganBorn: 4/68 Died: 8/02Mother: JoAnna Kerrigan

Sean A. KingBorn: 7/63 Died: 12/07Parents: Catherine & MichaelKing

Kay Dee Kinney-PalserBorn: 6/87 Died: 6/99Grandmothers: Diana Palser &Kay Kinney

Colby Joshua KoenigBorn: 6/84 Died: 1/10Parents: Cindy Tobis & JohnKoenig

Keith KonopasekBorn: 1/63 Died: 7/95Parents: Ken & MaryKonopasek

Michael KroppmanBorn: 12/88 Died: 3/12Parents: Brenda & GregKroppmann

Susan Ann KrugerBorn: 9/64 Died:6/08Mother: Gloria Swensson

Kyle KubachkaBorn: 1/89 Died: 11/08Parents: Keith & April Kubachka

Natalie Samantha LargeBorn: 6/05 Died: 6/05Parents: Burke & Maya Large

Dolores LaRueBorn: 8/57 Died: 11/08Mother: Maggie Ramirez

Cherese Mari LaulhereBorn: 9/74 Died: 3/96Parents: Larry & Chris Laulhere

Bernard LawrenceBorn: 2/63 Died: 12/06Mother: Jackie Bowens

Bryan Yutaka LeeBorn: 12/70 Died: 9/07Mother: Kathee Lee

Steven J. LeeBorn: 1/63 Died: 10/06Mother: Donna Lee

Avery James LentBorn: 12/03 Died: 7/06Parents: Crystal Henning & DanHolly

Wendy LevineBorn:10/65 Died:11/95Parents: Paul & Sharon Levine

Michael LococoBorn: 2/55 Died: 1/10Mother: Patrina Lococo

Richard Lee LutheBorn: 11/76 Died: 1/98Parents: Jeff & Lorraine Luthe

Shauna Jean MaloneBorn: 8/70 Died: 1/13Parents: Tom & Mary Malone

Michelle Marie MandichBorn: 5/89 Died: 2/05Parents: Michael & LoriMandich

Daniel Edward ManellaBorn: 9/67 Died: 10/98Sister: Kathleen Manella

Elizabeth MannBorn: 7/60 Died: 5/05Parents: David & Olivia Mann

Janet Sue MannBorn: 10/61 Died: 9/10Mother: Nancy Mann

Gabriella MantiniBorn: 5/85 Died: 8/06Mother: Martha Mantini

Alex J. MantylaBorn: 3/89 Died: 8/08Parents: Jarmo & BonnieMantyla

Kyle Jeffrey MartinBorn: 11/80 Died: 7/04Parents: David & Joanne Martin

Jason Lee MartineauBorn: 9/79 Died: 12/07Father: James Bakos

Audrey Sinclare MarshallBorn: 2/00 Died: 3/00Parents: Don & KimberlyMarshall

Paul MartinezBorn: 1/86 Died: 3/08Mother: Lorraine Martinez

Daniel George Mateik lllBorn: 12/84 Died: 6/09Mother: Stefanie Hudak

Daniel McClernanBorn: 7/53 Died: 2/07Mother: Lee McClernan

Robert Andrew MeadBorn: 5/65 Died: 4/11Mother: Carol Mead

Nicole Marie MegaloudisBorn:10/84 Died: 2/04Mother: Gail Megaloudis-Rongen

Alexis MelgozaBorn: 3/90 Died: 6/11Mother: Gina Melgoza

Shawn MellenBorn: 05/81 Died: 8/99Godmother: Rose Sarukian

Damion MendozaBorn: 7/76 Died: 6/92Parents: Carlene & PaulMendoza

Shannon R. MiddletonBorn: 2/77 Died: 5/94Mother: Candy Middleton

Steven Douglas MillarBorn: 2/70 Died: 10/00Parents: David & SuzanneMillar

Our Children Remembered Page 13

Patricia Acha MillerBorn: 1/62 Died: 11/10Mother: Christina Acha

Jamie Susan MintzBorn: 11/52 Died: 12/04Sister: Jessica Mintz

Angel Flores Misa, JrBorn: 10/69 Died: 7/06Parents: Roland & Luscita Dilley

David F. MobilioBorn: 7/71 Died: 11/02Parents: Richard & LaurieMobilio

Danielle Ann MosherBorn: 8/78 Died: 6/97Parents: Paul & Rose MaryMosher

Benjamin A. MoutesBorn: 3/07 Died: 5/10Parents: Kevin & ClaudiaMoutes

Peter Anthony MurilloBorn: 11/72 Died: 10/04Mother: Stella Murillo

Christopher MyersBorn: 10/86 Died: 5/06Parents: Janet & Larry Myers

Edward W. Myricks llBorn: 4/72 Died: 10/11Parents: Edward & SandraMyricks

Annamay Rebecca Celine NaefBorn: 4/95 Died: 10/11Parents: Heinz & Ursina Naef

Christian Paul NagyBorn: 5/02 Died: 5/02Parents: Paul & Teresa Nagy

Richard Paul NegreteBorn: 6/43 Died: 2/04Mother: Sally Negrete

Joy Ellen NelsonBorn: 1/97 Died: 1/97Parents: Mary Desmond &David Nelson

Eric M. NeuanBorn: 1/79 Died: 3/09Parents: Eric & Lynn Neuman

Danielle NiceBorn: 7/81 Died: 8/04Parents: Daniel & Debbie Nice

Monique NicholsonBorn: 7/71 Died: 1/08Sister: April Nicholson

Denise NorthbrookBorn: 2/67 Died: 8/31Parents: Mike & Barbie Schafer

Geoff James NowakBorn: 11/97 Died: 2/98Parents: Christen Murphey &Geoff Nowak

Logan Kay NunezBorn: 1/95 Died: 4/05Parents: Mike & Laura Nunez

Michaela Grace NunezBorn: 2/05 Died: 7/05Parents: Roger & JenniferNunez

Sally Anne O’ConnorBorn: 12/62 Died: 2/11Mother: Grace “Darline” Dye

Thomas Jinkwang OhBorn: 2/72 Died: 6/03Sister: Barbara Oh

Tyiri OjoseBorn: 9/10 Died: 7/10Mother: Maureen Ojose

Dominique OliverBorn: 5/85 Died: 3/02Mother: Cheryl Stephens

Henry OrtegaBorn: 5/97 Died: 7/08Parents: Henry & Wendy Ortega

Caitlin Nalani OtoBorn: 10/88 Died: 2/05Father: Carl Oto

Sally O’ TooleBorn: 10/53 Died: 03/85Mother: Kay Arndt

Masahiro OzakiBorn: 5/78 Died: 8/09Sister: Etsuko Moromi

Lucas Hunter PalarBorn: 11/89 Died: 5/06Parents: Hugh Palar & DeAnnaWilliams

Armon ParkerBorn: 4/72 Died: 3/04Mother: Sabrina Parker

Annemarie PelleritoBorn: 9/73 Died: 8/03Parents: Vicki & Pete Pellerito

Joseph Ryan PershBorn: 1/03 Died: 2/03 Parents: Gary & Jane Persh

Daniel Andrew PetersonBorn: 1/78 Died: 5/85Mother: Gay Kennedy

Richard PhillipsBorn: 9/81 Died: 3/11Mother: Lisa Grant

Jennifer PizerBorn: 10/69 Died: 4/91Parents: Janis & Bud Pizer

Chris PierceBorn: 11/77 Died: 4/07Sister: Stacy Pierce

Steven Randall PratherBorn: 9/62 Died: 8/10Parents: Stu & Evalyn Prather

D'Juan Marcel PrattBorn: 12/79 Died: 11/06Mother: Gwendolyn ElaineMaiden

Shannon QuiglyBorn: 112/68 Died: 1/09Mother: Kathleen Shortridge

Daniel Paul RainsBorn: 4/72 Died: 3/91Mother: Janet Ferjo

Jeffrey Alan RakusBorn: 10/86 Died:7/06Parents: Tony & Donna Rakus

Julius Ramarez JR.Born: 8/10 Died: 8/10Parents: Bridle & Jules Ramirez

Leo Joshua Rank llBorn: 3/11 Died: 4/12Parents: Roberta Rednov & LeoRank

Tejal Pati ReddyBorn: 6/86 Died: 12/08Parrents: Pranitha & KrupaReddy

Richard R. ReyesBorn: 12/65 Died: 12/08Mother: Terry Reyes

Aaron RicoBorn: 12/89 Died: 12/10Parents: Cameron & AnnetteRico

Keith Patrick RileyBorn: 3/69 Died: 10/99Parents: Kevin & Debby Riley

Christopher RiveraBorn: 10/67 Died: 1/06Mother: Katherine Wagner

Ryanne RoblesBorn: 10/12 Died: 10/12Mother: Glenda Osborne

Ruth “Vanny” RodriguezBorn: 10/73 Died: 5/01Parents: George & RubyRodriguez

Christine E. RojasBorn: 6/64 Died: 12/94Parents: Ray & Esther Rojas

Jamie (James) Lloyd RomanBorn: 4/78 Died: 2/97Mother: Carolyn Roman

Frankie RomeroBorn: 10/81 Died: 9/93Mother: Magdalena Hilda Salas& Francisco L. Romero

Dominic RoqueBorn: 8/02 Died: 1/09Parents: Kerrie & Ren Roque

James Garrett RossBorn: 12/74 Died: 10/05Parents: Jim & Sharon Ross

Michael William RothBorn: 6/71 Died: 12/08Parents: Karen & William Roth

John Patrick RouseBorn: 1/78 Died: 7/02Mother: Sharon Rouse

Michael B. Ruggera, Jr.Born: 4/51 Died: 4/96Parents: Michael & FrancesRuggera

Shannon Quigley RunningbearBorn: 12/68 Died: 1/09Mother: Kathleen CrowleyShortridge

Joseph SahuBorn: 6/89 Died: 4/12Parents: Ron & Cathy Sahu

Armando SainzBorn: 6/76 Died: 2/02Mother: Jennie Hernandez

Andrew Patrick SakuraBorn: 3/90 Died: 3/08Parents: Bruce & Karen Sakura

Jeffrey Alan SampsonBorn: 3/86 Died: 5/05 Parents: Claude & PaulaSampson

Lisa SandovalBorn: 9/76 Died: 12/92Parents: Susan & RubenSandoval

F. Marlow SantosBorn:10/84 Died:7/93Parents: Fred & Julie Gillette


Karen Ailegra SchollBorn: 8/64 Died: 4/99Mother: Kay Scholl

Matt SchollBorn: 2/73 Died: 4/08Parents: Bill & Kay Scholl

Candace Arond SchonbergBorn: 3/98 Died: 11/00Parents: Andrene & ArondSchonberg

Jonathan "Jamie" SchubertBorn: 7/65 Died: 12/06Parents: Lynn & Roy Schubert

Melissa Lauren SchweisbergerBorn:10/84 Died: 11/99Parents: John & MargaritaSchweisberger

Dylan Elwood SieversBorn: 8/08 Died: 8/08 Parents Daren & Marne Sievers

Tyson Donald SieversBorn: 8/08 Died: 9/08Parents: Darren & MarneSievers

Gerald SlaterBorn: 2/71 Died: 8/94Parents: Bob & Gwen Slater

Joel Paulson DraperBorn: 1/84 Died: 3/04Mother: Tracy Solis

Jeff Eric SnowdenBorn: 2/61 Died: 6/01Parents: Daryle & SandraSnowden

Larry A. StaufferBorn: 1/67 Died: 5/08Mother: Shirley Finnin

Miaamor Jennine SteehBorn: 7/05 Died: 9/10Father: Donya Steen

Daniel John SwiggumBorn: 6/88 Died: 7/08Parents: Stewart & MarianSwiggum

Elizabeth D. SzucsBorn: 4/72 Died: 6/11Parents: Dolores & Frank Szeus

Joseph TauaefaBorn: 2/85 Died: 7/10Parents: Loi & Sioka Tauaefa

Kristi Nicole TaylorBorn: 5/80 Died: 9/94Parents: Kathy & Cory Taylor

John TeresinskiBorn:12/67 Died: 1/00Parents: Beverly & VictorTeresinski

Ryan William ThomasBorn: 2/82 Died: 4/04Mother: Linda Thomas

Laura C. ToomeyBorn:1/69 Died: 12/78Mother: Michael & ElizabethToomey

Michael D. ToomeyBorn: 4/62 Died: 2/05Mother: Michael & ElizabethToomey

Nathan TorbertBorn:1/78 Died: 12/05Mother: Rebecca Williams

David TorresBorn: 6/66 Died: 3/06Mother: Joyce Whirry

Marcelo TorresBorn: 8/81 Died: 9/03Parents: Jaime & Carmen Torres

Brian Gregory TrotterBorn: 10/78 Died: 8/94Mother: Abby Trotter-Herft

Ubong Jabari UkoBorn: 2/81 Died: 5/09Mother: Denise Dues

Vance C. ValdezBorn: 10/90 Died: 3/12Mother: Maria R. Valdez

Lexi Noelle ValladaresBorn: 4/04 Died: 7/10Parents: Fausto & EricaValladares

Mark T. VasquezBorn: 5/75 Died: 5/11Parents: Manuel & BlancaVasquez Gregory Earl VealBorn: 2/90 Died: 7/00Mother: Virginia Veal Tommy VillanuevaBorn: 10/68 Died: 5/02Parents: Jennie & EdgarVillanueva

Justin Alexander VelasquezBorn: 7/12 Died 7/12Parents: Ricardo & MarcieVelasquez

Eric Douglas VinesBorn: 7/77 Died: 7/91Parents: Doug & Lynn Vines

Mark Daniel VinsonBorn: 11/78 Died: 7/10Mother: Virginia Vinson Serena Yasmeen C. ViverosBorn: 11/05 Died: 11/05Mother: Brenda Viveros

Chris Henry VogelerBorn: 9/66 Died: 12/04Parents: Frank & Lois Fisher

Marisa Ann VuosoBorn: 7/83 Died: 3/93Parents: Debbie & Marco Vuoso Kristopher WadmanBorn: 11/82 Died: 10/00Parents: Michael & MelodieWadman

Carl Alan WagenknectBorn: 7/70 Died: 8/04Parents: Tom & JanisWagenknecht

Jeffrey Sinclair WagstaffBorn: 9/80 Died: 4/99Parents: Johnny & BarbaraWalkerSister: Sheimekia Wagstaff

Cory Dylan Walker Born: 8/76 Died: 3/01Parents: Jim and SusanWalker

Eric WebbBorn: 6/85 Died: 10/07Parents: Jim & Vickie Webb

Dennis William WebberBorn: 5/85 Died: 3/05Parent: Blaine & Sin YoungWebber

Sharon Ann WendtBorn: 6/54 Died: 4/99Parents: Mr.& Mrs. CarmelDoucet

Brian Scott WestBorn: 8/70 Died: 4/08Parents: David & ConnieSchlottman

Andreas WickstromBorn: 12/83 Died:12/01Parents: John & IngeWickstrom

Victoria WinchesterBorn: 2/57 Died: 2/84Mother: Erin Adams

Jennifer WinkelspechtBorn: 7/75 Died: 8/95Parents: Brian & Lisa Winkelspecht

Jordan Michael WitteBorn: 1/87 Died: 11/08Parents: Licha & Mike Witte

Bob WoodyardBorn: 7/55 Died: 10/08Bill & Barb Woodyard

Amy WoolingtonBorn: 10/85 Died: 1/07Parents: Pam Weiss & JohnWoolington

Christopher WoottonBorn: 11/86 Died: 5/08Father: Jim Wootton

Cristofur Daye Wroten-KennedyBorn: 2/75 Died: 9/01Mother: Dusty WrotenFather: Joe Kennedy

Steve R. YoungBorn: 7/57 Died: 2/90Mother: Marjorie Young

Whitney Marie YoungBorn: 8/87 Died:11/06 Parents: Marlene & SteveYoung

Thomas ZacharyBorn: 12/85 Died: 7/11Father: Bob McGaha

Kevin ZelikBorn: 11/85 Died: 6/10Parents: Joe & Linda Zelik


Birthday Tributes...

In honor of your child’s birthday, we welcome you to submita birthday tribute. Though your child is no longer here tobuy a present for, think of this as a birthday present aboutyour child. This tribute is an opportunity to share your childwith us all. (We thank you for any birthday donations thathelp offset chapter expenses.)

A Birthday Tribute to:Damion MendozaJuly 1976 - June 1992

Dear Damion

Happy 37th birthday son. It's been 21years since you were taken from us. It seems so brief, yet it's been many years. Wemiss you as much today as we did in 1992. Welove you son, until we meet again.

Love, Mom and Dad

Brother

Your been gone so long Yet never have you been forgottenYou were brave and true Your smile brightened up every roomI've spent many a day wondering who would you have becomeWould you have children A lovely wife Your path was cut short much too soon. Taken to heaven so quickly It still feels like yesterday we were hanging outwatching movies I wish you were here my brother You were lost to me Rest with the lovely angels brother I miss you.

Sincerely, Adrien Mendoza

A Birthday Tribute toTiffany Diane Lamb Corkins:July 1970 - August 1997

Dearest Tiffany-You would have been 43 this

year. How I miss seeing you blossom into a beautiful, mature woman. You missed seeing your boys begin to blossominto young manhood. They are truly remarkable.

Your brother has become a treasured father,husband, and son. Maybe yo do know thisanyway... We all remember your birthday andsend love, love, love to you, my darlingdaughter.

Look for the balloons, they will be there foryour birthday!

Love, Mom

A Birthday Tribute to:Eric Douglas VinesJuly 1976 - July 1991

Dear Eric,After all these years without you here to

celebrate your birthday with, I started thinkingabout all the birthday parties we shared as afamily. From clowns, bowling parties, ChuckyCheese, Disneyland, pool parties, ice skating,camping with 12 friends for your 12th birthday,we seemed to have done it all. About the onlytheme we didn’t do was the now popular bouncystructures. (Which you would have loved.)

Looking at pictures of you from your firstbirthday party (with cake all over your face), toyour last party with cake all over your face(which Chad and Jason managed to do becauseyou always wanted a pie in the face) you hadmany happy birthdays with us.

I remember the first birthday without youhere. I had dreaded it for weeks and hadconvinced myself I couldn’t manage to getthrough it without going crazy. It was a hardday, but its true what they say; “The anticipationis often worse than the actual event.” In thosefirst few years it made a big difference to “plan”something to observe the day. Over the yearsthe tears lessened each year until I came to thepoint where I can smile with only bittersweetmemories. Now, I will just bake your favoritecake for desert and savor all the preciousmemories we shared.

So here’s to you my precious son, HappyBirthday!!

Love, Mom

For Siblings...

Grief is Lonely

Grief is lonely. When my sister died twoyears ago, everyone knew about it and talked


about it. Everyone was in shock- but now, twoyears later, the anniversary of her death cameand went without even a card in the mail. No oneat work remembered the day. No one called tosay, "I am thinking of you." No one asked, "Howare you feeling?"

My family has stayed in close contact and wetalk about Susan all the time. But when it comesto grieving over Susan, everyone grieves alone.No one knows how I feel about my little sister andhow it hurts me so deeply to know she's not here. Everything else in life can be shared withsomeone else but not grieving. No one can fully understand the pain because everyone's pain is different. When the pain is the greatest, the loneliness is the greatest too. I never thought I could feel this much pain and still survive. I am alone in my grief. There is no one else here with me.

Susan was born when I was almost 11. She committed suicide when she was 16. The baby of the family, the youngest of four kids; our heartsare broken forever. --Cherie Bagadiong TCF, St. Mary's County, MD

Nights Alone

It is 4am in the morning and I cannot sleep.This is a regular occurrence for me in grief. Themonth of July sleeplessness is always at itsworst. I lost my brother in the month of July. Iremember the weeks following after we lost Brythat I would be up for nights at a time, miserablein pain and crying so hard that my eyes would beswollen shut the next day.

I feel so alone in the middle of the night. I feelI am the only person up right now in the worldwith this pain, however I know even alone thereare others like me. I am aching for one moreglimpse of my brother, struggling to think of ourlast conversation or just praying that magically Icould hear his giggle again.

The sleepless nights are here to last. I willnever sleep like a baby again!----Siblings Walking Together, Posts fromwww.siblinggrief.com

Extra Space on the Fourth of July

When we sit at a picnic table, There is an empty space. When we sit on a car to watch the fireworks, There is extra space.

When we use our sparklers, One box is more than enough. We have lots of extra space On the Fourth of July --Kelly Maxwell TCF, Pikes Peak, CO

From Grandparents ...

Dearest Elizabeth Grace Vieira Cote, My darling Granddaughter,

I have known you but for 39 days, yet as I held your lifeless body in my arms today, for thefirst time since you were born, my grandmaheart mourned not only the life which has beentaken from you but also the precious momentsthat have been robbed from all of us.

We will never see you smile a crooked littlegrin or watch you take your first steps. We willnever touch your first tooth, hear your first (goo)or your first laugh. I will never hear you call me(Gammy). I will never savor the specialmemories of painting your tiny nails or braidingyour silky hair. I'll never play hide and seek withyou or share secrets with you that only you and Icould understand ... these things are now justfaded dreams that will never come true.

Why have you been taken from us? ... this remains the unanswered question. Maybe oneday we will know the reason for all this madness. One thing I can tell you, my darling Elizabeth, isthat your life was not in vain. In your short timehere on Earth you have taught us determination,courage, and Love with a capital L. You havetaught us to be humble and patient. Throughyour silent suffering you have touched the heartsof all who cared for you and all who visited youin your tiny hospital bed.

Because of you, our family ties are eventighter. You have brought us abundant joy andhappiness by just being ...

Your Mommy and Daddy also have grown asa result of your arrival. They have learned, ashave we all, that we should not take things forgranted. Life can change forever in a matter ofminutes.

Last Sunday your parents were overwhelmedwith pride as they held you in their arms. That isa memory they will cherish for as long as theylive and because of it, their love for one anotherwill bond even more. No, your life has not beenin vain, my precious granddaughter, for youhave changed our lives forever ...

Rest well my little one .... remember how


much you are loved. Your Gammy XX

--Verdugo Hills Chapter, Glendale, CA TCF

From Our Members ...

I am living in a fantasy world, I can't distinguish what is real from what is an illusion, I am in a dream state, I don't know what I am feeling, Nor can I trust it. I put myself in a bubble, I won't let in any bad memories, I create my own reality, where everything’s ok, Where everything has a reason, but I don't knowthe reason. I think I am going crazy, But how would I know I am living in a fantasy world. --In memory of my daughter Emma, by her mom,Nancy Fisher, TCF South Bay/L.A., CA

We welcome and encourage you to submit contributionsyou found meaningful to you in your grief. We prefer youroriginal poems and thoughts, but we can also print othermaterial if proper credit is given to the author. Pleasecontact our editor.

TCF Now on Facebook .... Please visit and helppromote The Compassionate Friends NationalOrganization's new Facebook page by becoming afan. You can get there by clicking on the link fromTCF's national website home page atwww.compassionatefriends.org. Or, you can log intoFacebook and search for The CompassionateFriends/USA. In addition to the social support aspect,The Compassionate Friends/USA Facebook page willhave information about upcoming events.

Our Website... We are now posting a tribute page foreach of our children. Please visit the site and addyour child's information. You can also download themonthly newsletter which will help defray chapterexpenses of the printing and mailing of yournewsletter. (Please let us know if you can be removedfrom the regular mailing list.) Contact Crystal at:[email protected] and she will help you with thesteps to create your own tribute.

The National Office of TCF has an ongoing supportgroup for parents and siblings online. For a completeschedule and to register for Online Support, visithttp://compassionatefriends.org and follow thedirections to register.

Healing the Grieving Heart... Featuring experts whodiscuss the many aspects of grief, with a main focuson the death of a child and its effects on the family."Healing the Grieving Heart" can be heard on theWeb live at www.health.voiceamerica.com.

Welcome New Members ... We welcome our newmembers to our chapter of TCF. We're sorry youhave a need to be with us, but we hope you feel youhave found a safe place to share your grief and willreturn. It often takes a few meetings to feel at easein a group setting. Please try attending threemeetings before deciding if TCF is for you. Eachmeeting is different, and the next one might be theone that really helps.

We encourage you to take advantage of ourresources. We have a well stocked library of griefmaterials, a phone friend committee that welcomescalls at any time, and a members' directory to callanother parent you have met at the meetings.

Thank You ... Thank you to all those who donate toour meeting basket or send donations to our chapter.Since there are no fees or dues to belong to TCF,your donations keep us functioning, and weappreciate your help.

Birthday Tributes... During your child's birthday month, you may place a picture and either a short personal message, poem, or storyabout your child in the newsletter. (Less than 200words, please.) Do not cut your picture. We willblock off unused areas. If it is a group photo, identifythe person to be cropped. This tribute is anopportunity to tell a short story about your child, sowe will be able to know them better. Photos musthave identification on the back. Enclose a SASE inorder for photos to be returned by mail. (Please donot send your only picture.)

Tributes must be in by the 1st of the monthpreceding your child's birthday month or at the priormeeting. (Example: July st for August birthdays). Otherwise they will appear if space permits or in thefollowing month's issue.

Phone Friends ... Sometimes you want or need to talk about the life and death of your child withsomeone that understands and can share your pain. The following friends are on the telephonecommittee, and are available to talk when ever youneed someone who understands. Cheryl Stephens.........................(323) 855-2630Kitty Edler..................................(310) 541-8221Karen Merickel.......................... (310) 375-2498Richard Leach (grandchild).........(310) 833-5213SIBLING PHONE FRIENDSKristy Mueller............................ (310) 373-9977Joey Vines................................ (310) 658-4339


Memory Book... Our chapter has an ongoing MemoryBook. Each child is given a page in the book. Pictures, poems, or a tribute you choose that will helpus to remember your child can be included. Feel freeto add your picture to the Memory Book at any of ourmeetings. This is one way we can meet andremember the new member's children.

Library Information... At each meeting we have alibrary table. It is on the honor system. You mayborrow a book and can bring it back at the nextmeeting. Many of you have books you got when youwere newly bereaved and may no longer need. Perhaps you would like to donate books on grief thatyou found helpful. If you wish to donate a book to ourlibrary, please let the librarian know so we can putyour child's name on a donation label inside the book.

Newsletter... For those of you who are receiving thenewsletter for the first time, it is because someonehas told us that you might find it helpful. We warmlyinvite you to attend one of our meetings. Please letus know if you know of someone who could benefitfrom our newsletter which is sent free to bereavedparents. We do ask that professionals, friends, andfamily members contribute a donation to help offsetthe costs involved. If any information needs to bechanged, or if you would like your child included in the"Our Children Remembered" section, please contactthe editor at (310) 530-3214.

Additional Grief Support .... Bereavement Organizations and Resources:

TCF National Newsletter: For all bereaved parentsand siblings. Published quarterly; subscription fee.Contact TCF Inc., P.O. Box 3696, Oak Brook, IL60522-3696 (630) 990-0010 FAMILY & FRIENDS OF MURDER VICTIMS: RoseMadsen, (909) 798-4803 Newsletter and supportgroup, e-mail [email protected] ALONE: For parents who have lost their onlychild, or all their children. 1112 Champaign Dr., VanWert, OH 45891 Newsletter available. www.Alivealone.orgSURVIVORS AFTER SUICIDE: Support Group forfamilies that have lost someone to suicide. ContactSam & Lois Bloom (310) 377-8857OUR HOUSE/BEREAVEMENT HOUSE: 1950Sawtelle Blvd., Suite 255, L.A., CA (310) 475-0299PATHWAYS HOSPICE: Bereavement support andsibling group. Bill Hoy (562) 531-3031NEW HOPE GRIEF SUPPORT COMMUNITY: Grief support and education groups for adults andchildren. Susan K. Beeney, P.O. Box 8057, LongBeach, CA 90808, (562) 429-0075 PROVIDENCE TRINITY CARE HOSPICE AND THE GATHERING PLACE: Various bereavement support

groups including support for loss of a child, supportgroup for children 5-8, 9-12, and teens. AlsoSpanish. Call Claire Towle or Patty Ellis (310) 374-6323 Torrance Memorial Bereavement Services:(310) 325-9110 Weekly grief support. THE LAZARUS CIRCLE: Monthly grief support.Meets third Thurs of each month, 6-7;15 at FirstLutheran Church, 2900 W. Carson St. TorranceSHARE Pregnancy & Infant Loss: Contact: MeganHeddlesten (800) 821-6819Walk With Sally: Cancer loss bereavement & arttherapy for children- Monica Fyfe (310) 378-5843

Other Grief Support Websites...agast.org (for grandparents) groww.combeyondindogp.com griefwatch.domangelmoms.com babysteps.comhealingafterloss.org webhealing.comsurvivorsofsuicide.com opentohope.comtaps.org (military death) alivealone.orgbereavedparentsusa.org childloss.comgoodgriefresources.com save.orgpomc.com (families of murder victims)

LOCAL TCF CHAPTERSLos Angeles: (310) 474-3407 1st Thurs.Orange Coast/Irvine: (949) 552-2800 1st Wed. Orange Co./Anaheim: (714) 993-6708 Pomona/San Gabriel: (626) 919-7206 Redlands: (800) 717-0373 3rd Tues.Riverside-Inland Empire: (909) 683-4160Ventura Co. TCF: (805)981-1573 1&3 Thurs.Verdugo Hills: (818) 957-0254 4th Thurs.San Fernando Valley: (818) 788-9701 2nd Mon.

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

Post Net Printing for their help in printing our newsletters each month and to

The Neighborhood Church for the use of theirfacilities for our meetings.

STEERING COMMITTEE OFFICERS:CHAPTER LEADERS: Cheryl Stephens & Linda ZelikNEWSLETTER EDITOR: Lynn VinesPROOFREADER: Sandra MyricksTREASURER: Ken KonopasekCARDS & WEBSITE: Crystal HenningNEW MEMBER FOLLOW-UP: Cheryl Stephens


DONATIONS TO THE SOUTH BAY/L.A. CHAPTER

OF THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS

In loving memory of Brandon Armstrong, July 1995 - July 1995 and Dominique Oliver May 1985 -March 2002.... not a day goes by where I don't think of you or miss you. You two are the guidingforce that makes me want to live, not just exist...

Love, Mom

In loving memory of Eric Douglas Vines, July 1977 - July 1991. Eric, I found a wonderful set ofgrief books that were exactly what I was searching for after you first died, but couldn’t find. I amdonating them to our chapter’s library in your memory. I know your overwhelming compassion forothers can continue this way, as another family benefits from the knowledge and understandingthis series of Journeying through Grief books will have. Have a wonderful birthday. We will all bethinking of you on your special day.

Love, Mom

In loving memory of Daniel Mosher, 8/78 - 6/97. To our special granddaughter who we love andmiss so very much.

Love, Grandma & Grandpa Mosher_________________________________________________________________________

With sincere gratitude and deep appreciation, we acknowledge the generosity of the previousindividuals and companies. Your tax deductible donation, given, in memory of your loved oneenables us to reach bereaved parents with telephone calls and information, and they also helpdefray newsletter and mailing costs. Please help us reach out to others in this difficult time. Indicate any special tribute you wish printed in our newsletter.

When making a donation, please make checks payable to: The Compassionate Friends SouthBay/L.A. Chpt.

Mail to: The Compassionate Friends So Bay/ L.A. Chapter P.O. Box 11171Torrance, CA 90510-1171

In loving memory of _____________________________________________________________

Birth date ______________ Death date _____________ Sent from________________________

Tribute________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

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To include your donation in the next newsletter, we must receive it by the first of the month orit will appear in the following issue.

Compassionate Friends South Bay/L.A., CA ChapterP.O. Box 11171Torrance, CA 90510-1171

I wonder... as I lay here thinking of you --Change of Service Requested--What you must see from your fabulous view.Whistlers, screamers, bright flashes of lightMake this July 4th a special night.Can you see all the celebrating and funAs you look down after the setting sun? I wonder...

July 2013

Time Sensitive Material, Please Deliver Promptly

THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS CREDO

We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding, and with hope.

The children we mourn have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us. Your pain becomes my pain,

just as your hope becomes my hope.

We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because we represent many races, creeds, and relationships.

We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh

and so intensely painful that they feel helpless and see no hope.

Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength, while some of us are struggling to find answers.

Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression, while others radiate an inner peace.

But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share, just as we share with each other

our love for the children who have died.

We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future together. We reach out to each other in love to share

the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts,

and help each other to grieve as well as to grow.

WE NEED NOT WALK ALONE. WE ARE THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS. ©2013 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS -- SOUTH BAY/L.A., CA CHAPTER

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